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not wearing headscarf anymore

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Applying to Uni? Let Universities come to you. Click here to get your perfect place 20-10-2014
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    Although they may be surprised initially, they'll probably get used to it if you "ease off" wearing it, instead of going cold turkey.

    Out of interest, why did you stop being religious?
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    doesnt wearing the headscarf sort of make you feel more decent/ safe ??

    i'd urge you to really consider this, and maybe look into your religion more.. that way at least you know you'v made the right choice and wont regret not looking into things alot more,
    id say talk to your parents
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    (Original post by Iqbal007)
    WOW, my mum goes crazy if a girl is anywhere near me :/ they get weird idead ¬¬

    Well when you drop your headscarf, people won't see you as a the good girl you described or as the person they thought they knew. It happens with some people where friends, etc start behaving differently and acting unfriendly.
    Also if you do this, your family may feel like that giving you so much freedom was the reason, they might put a stronger curfew on you.

    Whats the problem exactly?
    really? i have some pakistani friends whose mums are a bit like "no guys" but i only have guy friends and theres nothing wrong with that!! i was even an item with one of them for a while, and although i never told her that bit, she did comment how we`d make a good couple. the irony :rolleyes:

    really? i dont care what people think of me, i just dont want to hurt my mum if that makes sense. i dont think they`d curfew me- i dont have a curfew and never will

    the problem is i just dont feel its me, im not religeousy- i dont want to be labelled as that either. hijab represents so much that i am not. although im a cool designer- i dont like it anymore, i mean im even losing confidence, which is not like me at all.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    lol what type of excuses?

    ye, i see where you are going, but my parents have complete trust in me with the whole bad people thing. i mean family wise really open about general stuff, its just taking of a hijab signifies that im not religeous anymore- and my mum well recently she`s commented on other girls not hair covering like its bad.... and she became religeous at the same age im becoming not religeous if that makes sense.

    plus where i live, im really well known even though i hardly go out because i have a really cool scarf looks. id probably never wwant to be in my home-town again. people talk, i dont care whatsoever, but i think my mum would mind and i dont want to upset her in any way.
    If you live in a white dominated area, or youre going to a mainly white uni. You could have said that people say stuff to you or someone pulled your scarf off. Lol. Thats what happend to my sister and she stopped wearing hers. Oh and you can say you get called a terrorist and it makes you feel.... etc etc.
    But seeing as your parents are cool. Never mind. Lol. Thats got to be really awkward with your mum. May I ask what made you lose faith??
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    In Islam you don't HAVE to wear the headscarf, it's YOUR choice.Lots of women who are very good Muslims don't wear it and it's fine.
    for every non mahram that sees a hair on your head, its a sin
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOczHe2HxMg try that

    (Original post by Silver Lining)
    there is no such thing as a good Muslim. no one can judge who is a good or bad Muslim, only Allah can. and it is compulsory for a Muslim woman to cover herself from her non-mehram, it is a sign of a Muslim woman. it is written in the Quran. I do apologise for bringing this up but what you said is wrong.
    big-up

    edit..why am i getting negged for saying the haq
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    (Original post by NuckingFut)
    Although they may be surprised initially, they'll probably get used to it if you "ease off" wearing it, instead of going cold turkey.

    Out of interest, why did you stop being religious?
    yeah i guess, i mean my clothing is quite reveally- thats just the final part now. taking the headscarf off..
    i stoped being religeous (i even made a thread of it here about a week ago) basically ive just gradaully lost touch with the whole thing, i find it boring, and i dont think others interpretation is like mine. i just follow mine now which is to be a good moral human being who will never hurt another soul

    (Original post by puresse)
    doesnt wearing the headscarf sort of make you feel more decent/ safe ??
    i'd urge you to really consider this, and maybe look into your religion more.. that way at least you know you'v made the right choice and wont regret not looking into things alot more,
    id say talk to your parents
    erm not really, safe from what?
    decent- well only in the sense that i look like a muslim...

    yeh i am going to have to talk, its just my little sister is like a proper hijabi and she`s quite into it if you get what i mean. i`ll even probably get pursuaded by her too.

    and if im going to talk to them what i am a going to say? even the whole "what would you do if i turned gay conversation" i had with them i was much more comfortable with. but they probably thought i was joking. p.s. im not gay
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i currently wear a headscarf... however, I do not want to anymore as I do not feel it represents who i am any more.I am not religeous anymore and do not want to be attached to any religion.

    so I want to stop wearing it, however, bit worried about reaction from family. as I know they`ll be like "its the right thing, you`ve always worn it"
    however, I dont feel confident with it anymore- its not me, and now am old enough to know what I truly want, its not what I want.

    im thinking I should just keep it on till september (start uni) then take it off, my parents wont be there so I wont have to explain to them? although they`d then realise and ask,why?

    n I guess I would feel slightly guilty too. but its wrong to do something just because you feel you have to..

    basically its a conversation am going to have to have...

    so what should i do?

    any suggestions would be appreciated
    Tell them before uni or else they may think 'uni is changing you for the worse'
    Just explain you don't feel as comfortable with it right now but maybe someday you will again.
    Also I suggest you watch this, I feel like she says what I feel is happening in Islam.
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisf...eo?INTCMP=SRCH
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    this may sound really bad, but i dont think that does it for me.



    yes pakistani and very understanding, but im well known for my scarf styles, and i gues a lot of people look up to me so it would be really obvious.



    thanks. im just worried with the whole consultation part- my family have always bought me up with religeon and i guess they always thought id be religeousy

    but i dont pray or anything
    Your the first muslim girl I've heard doesn't want to wear a head scarf. whats the matter, don't you have belief in your religion?

    Are you wanting to become an atheist or convert to a different religion?:confused:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yeah i guess, i mean my clothing is quite reveally- thats just the final part now. taking the headscarf off..
    i stoped being religeous (i even made a thread of it here about a week ago) basically ive just gradaully lost touch with the whole thing, i find it boring, and i dont think others interpretation is like mine. i just follow mine now which is to be a good moral human being who will never hurt another soul



    erm not really, safe from what?
    decent- well only in the sense that i look like a muslim...

    yeh i am going to have to talk, its just my little sister is like a proper hijabi and she`s quite into it if you get what i mean. i`ll even probably get pursuaded by her too.

    and if im going to talk to them what i am a going to say? even the whole "what would you do if i turned gay conversation" i had with them i was much more comfortable with. but they probably thought i was joking. p.s. im not gay
    Some guys were getting horny when you said you were gay. LOL
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    (Original post by Ayesha.Tabassam95)
    If you live in a white dominated area, or youre going to a mainly white uni. You could have said that people say stuff to you or someone pulled your scarf off. Lol. Thats what happend to my sister and she stopped wearing hers. Oh and you can say you get called a terrorist and it makes you feel.... etc etc.
    But seeing as your parents are cool. Never mind. Lol. Thats got to be really awkward with your mum. May I ask what made you lose faith??
    well comments from non-muslims are "that`s soo cool" other girls should do their scarf like yours, and stuff like "i want to look like you" i even dressed up 2 of them with headscarfs- an arif lohar/pakistani village guy with turban wrap look thing with feathers and other stuff. which was cool!

    i dont think id have that problem at uni

    i know im even feeling awkward now, even though she has no clue- she thinks I`m going through a mid-science crisis (am a scientist in the making and spent the last 2 weeks on a research thing). even in the last couple of months she`s wanted me to go with her to religeous things "ive been busy". but i hate knowing that im not being honest with who i am.

    im not quite sure what made me lose faith, im still muslim but i just dont believe in the whole formalities and stuff/perhaps im growing up and in a few years ill go back? who knows.
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    It's a real shame when I read things like this.
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    (Original post by Golden_Boy786)
    Some guys were getting horny when you said you were gay. LOL
    why would that make you horny? or is that sarcasm. ell ow oll. lol
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    why would that make you horny? or is that sarcasm. ell ow oll. lol
    hahahahaha....well your fault for bringing it up

    So, whats your plans once you stop wearing a headscarf, find a bf or somethin?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i currently wear a headscarf... however, I do not want to anymore as I do not feel it represents who i am any more.I am not religeous anymore and do not want to be attached to any religion.

    so I want to stop wearing it, however, bit worried about reaction from family. as I know they`ll be like "its the right thing, you`ve always worn it"
    however, I dont feel confident with it anymore- its not me, and now am old enough to know what I truly want, its not what I want.

    im thinking I should just keep it on till september (start uni) then take it off, my parents wont be there so I wont have to explain to them? although they`d then realise and ask,why?

    n I guess I would feel slightly guilty too. but its wrong to do something just because you feel you have to..

    basically its a conversation am going to have to have...

    so what should i do?

    any suggestions would be appreciated
    Hello!
    I understand how you are feeling, and I can conclude that you want to take off your headscarf because you do not feel religious anymore.
    You need to understand that any decision you may take in your life only and only affects you. This means that before any decision, I really, really encourage you to think for some time, and I am not even going to lie to you and merely say think for a 'bit'. You matter to me; Yes, true, I do not know you, but I don't know, I am just the kind of person who enjoys dealing with people and help make their life simpler, but at the end you are free to do what you want to do.
    From my understanding and study of the religion of Islam, I believe it to be a very peaceful religion, and the reasons why I find it this way, are so many. God does not want you to wear the headscarf for the sake of your irritation. Instead,
    it is one of the many reasons to protect you, and mind you, I did not say to repress you. Big difference!
    I know how you are feeling, and the sort of struggle you are facing. The headscarf preserves your modesty and maintans the respect you DESERVE from all the people around you. You know, Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him), who spent many years striving and starving to spread the message of peace to humanity, the message which has been unfortunately manipulated by anti-peacemakers, was once speaking to his friends when he told them "I miss my brothers and sisters, and his friends told him 'Aren't we your brothers?!', but he replied to them 'No, you have seen me, but my brothers and my sisters [us], have not seen me'. Imagine, how much love Prophet Muhammad has for all of us, not only Muslims, but also Chrisitans, Jews, and everybody.
    By the way, I may sound like a hyprocrite myself, because I am not veiled, but I am planning to wear the headscarf when I go to university.. God has been with me in so many aspects of my life, in death-in-life experiences, and I am not lying to you, believe me or don't it is your choice, but I am going through so many problems in my life today, psychological, friends, life, and every single day, I feel more courageous to face the world because I am sure we are here for a reason. We are not created out of whatever just to live whatever and die 'whatever'. In the Holy Qur'an, God says what it means "Do you think We have created you just like that and that you are not going to return back to Us?"
    Not because I am Muslim that I am supposed to prejudge every non-Muslim i n the world. No, everybody has a value, and this is what God has taught me. You, too, definitely have a very precious value and a wide impact on the lives of the people around you. Please do not take your precious headscarf for granted. Okay? Feel free to chat with me if you need anything!
    Love, AU.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Golden_Boy786)
    Your the first muslim girl I've heard doesn't want to wear a head scarf. whats the matter, don't you have belief in your religion?

    Are you wanting to become an atheist or convert to a different religion?:confused:
    i dont think i have belief, and i dont want to look like i do. basically im starting from scratch.

    i dont know why now? i guess i started pulling away about 8 months ago, and ive just gone further apart. i should have fear of death, i should be spending hours reading poetry epics. but i dont anymore.
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    (Original post by AU94)
    Hello!
    I understand how you are feeling, and I can conclude that you want to take off your headscarf because you do not feel religious anymore.
    You need to understand that any decision you may take in your life only and only affects you. This means that before any decision, I really, really encourage you to think for some time, and I am not even going to lie to you and merely say think for a 'bit'. You matter to me; Yes, true, I do not know you, but I don't know, I am just the kind of person who enjoys dealing with people and help make their life simpler, but at the end you are free to do what you want to do.
    From my understanding and study of the religion of Islam, I believe it to be a very peaceful religion, and the reasons why I find it this way, are so many. God does not want you to wear the headscarf for the sake of your irritation. Instead,
    it is one of the many reasons to protect you, and mind you, I did not say to repress you. Big difference!
    I know how you are feeling, and the sort of struggle you are facing. The headscarf preserves your modesty and maintans the respect you DESERVE from all the people around you. You know, Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him), who spent many years striving and starving to spread the message of peace to humanity, the message which has been unfortunately manipulated by anti-peacemakers, was once speaking to his friends when he told them "I miss my brothers and sisters, and his friends told him 'Aren't we your brothers?!', but he replied to them 'No, you have seen me, but my brothers and my sisters [us], have not seen me'. Imagine, how much love Prophet Muhammad has for all of us, not only Muslims, but also Chrisitans, Jews, and everybody.
    By the way, I may sound like a hyprocrite myself, because I am not veiled, but I am planning to wear the headscarf when I go to university.. God has been with me in so many aspects of my life, in death-in-life experiences, and I am not lying to you, believe me or don't it is your choice, but I am going through so many problems in my life today, psychological, friends, life, and every single day, I feel more courageous to face the world because I am sure we are here for a reason. We are not created out of whatever just to live whatever and die 'whatever'. In the Holy Qur'an, God says what it means "Do you think We have created you just like that and that you are not going to return back to Us?"
    Not because I am Muslim that I am supposed to prejudge every non-Muslim i n the world. No, everybody has a value, and this is what God has taught me. You, too, definitely have a very precious value and a wide impact on the lives of the people around you. Please do not take your precious headscarf for granted. Okay? Feel free to chat with me if you need anything!
    Love, AU.
    That touched me, it truly did. I think the OP should learn from you. Eh OP, what do you fink?
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    (Original post by Golden_Boy786)
    Your the first muslim girl I've heard doesn't want to wear a head scarf. whats the matter, don't you have belief in your religion?

    Are you wanting to become an atheist or convert to a different religion?:confused:
    Lol. Im another one then.
    Just out of interest do all the muslim girls you know where head scarves?
    And are you a muslim, yeah?
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    (Original post by Ayesha.Tabassam95)
    Lol. Im another one then.
    Just out of interest do all the muslim girls you know where head scarves?
    And are you a muslim, yeah?
    Ok let me note that down. Got it. For your question, yes i am a muslim, i thought you would have realised-786?

    Anyway, no i would be lying if i said all muslim girls don't want to wear scarves. I just thought nobody would pick up on that comment.
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    (Original post by Golden_Boy786)
    hahahahaha....well your fault for bringing it up

    So, whats your plans once you stop wearing a headscarf, find a bf or somethin?
    i can pull guys even with a headscarf thats not really a problem, and i should really be focusing on studying! yikes

    it would be funny if i continued and i said

    "I can pull girls with a headscarf" but sometimes i think i get that too.... scary

    erm plan wise, none, just continue like normal i guess. i just dont want that identity anymore
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    well comments from non-muslims are "that`s soo cool" other girls should do their scarf like yours, and stuff like "i want to look like you" i even dressed up 2 of them with headscarfs- an arif lohar/pakistani village guy with turban wrap look thing with feathers and other stuff. which was cool!

    i dont think id have that problem at uni

    i know im even feeling awkward now, even though she has no clue- she thinks I`m going through a mid-science crisis (am a scientist in the making and spent the last 2 weeks on a research thing). even in the last couple of months she`s wanted me to go with her to religeous things "ive been busy". but i hate knowing that im not being honest with who i am.

    im not quite sure what made me lose faith, im still muslim but i just dont believe in the whole formalities and stuff/perhaps im growing up and in a few years ill go back? who knows.
    Lol. Thats nice. Does that not kind of spur you to keep it on?? Because like you said, they look upto you.
    I know the feeling because thats EXACTLY how I feel, but I cant say anything to my parents. I reckon your lucky that your parents are understanding, I think you should tell them, if you dont change your mind about taking it off. (There are some very persuaisve people on here - theyre even making me feel guilty )

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