not wearing headscarf anymore

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Hey OP, if I've got it right, then your crisis is actually the 'losing faith' part rather than the ' byebye hijab ' dilemma.
Because your choice of taking the headscarf off would be the aftermath of your faith weakening, right? :smile:

ive already gone through the "losing faith" phase. this is the next step. and its quite scary.

Reply 61

Golden_Boy786

Original post by Anonymous

lol im no mother theresa- people just look up to me even though i hardly ever talk to any1 (well in the pakistani/muslim community) and no not Rihanna- i dont even know who that is?
most likely still remain big bang style geek

You don't know Rihanna, :eek:

Sure you don't.

And why don't you talk to the "pakistani/mulsim community", do you feel embarrassed to talk to them. Its ok you can tell me. I won't judge. :yep:

Reply 62

Anonymous #1

Original post by ak137

PM me

why would i post anon. then PM you? contradictory yup

or are you referring to iqbal?

Reply 63

x Yazzy M Star'h x

One thing leads to another that's all i really want to say aha... Also starting uni and doing that are going to put a lot of other thoughts in your parents, its better to do it before if you think that's best for you and explain to them now :tongue:

. xx

Reply 64

milesofsea

Original post by shush

hey, im guessing your a muslim
i used to be like wary one of girls who wore hijab or jilbab
this song changed my view

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZ6yKsuuMLo

Why were you wary of them?? What did you think they were hiding under their headscarves?

What if women don't want to be precious, don't want to be 'protected'? What if they actually want to have a personality, presence, what if they want to be expressive and assertive?

What exactly is it they are using the hijab to be 'protected' from anyway? What threats are facing me every time I leave my house showing my hair that I don't know aout?

The video has a male rapper telling women that they'll burn in hell for showing any skin or hair...I can see how that convinced you that women should wear the hijab, but then you're not a woman are you.

Reply 65

omgg

Original post by helpmee1234567890

is iit coz u feel ugly in a scarf and you dnt get attention coz ppl think ur religious

WTF!!

Reply 66

Golden_Boy786

Original post by Ayesha.Tabassam95

So what does 786 mean then?

Ehh? well? its? Islamic i guess, this was the code to get into our mosque so i presumed it must be a religious number, thats how i came to the conclusion. :yep:

Reply 67

ak137

Original post by Anonymous

why would i post anon. then PM you? contradictory yup

or are you referring to iqbal?

Your anon is safe with me :wink:

Reply 68

Tudball

Original post by Anonymous

ive already gone through the "losing faith" phase. this is the next step. and its quite scary.

If it feels right, then do it.

Islam is a choice, and if you've chosen something else, then go with it.
There's no sense clinging onto the manifestations of your old beliefs if they no longer have any personal meaning to you.

I hope that your family and friends will understand.
Good luck!

Reply 69

Anonymous #1

Original post by Golden_Boy786

You don't know Rihanna, :eek:

Sure you don't.

And why don't you talk to the "pakistani/mulsim community", do you feel embarrassed to talk to them. Its ok you can tell me. I won't judge. :yep:

ive just google rihanna- some singer?

i dont talk to the pakistani community because they think my convo-s are weird, i bring science and my love of medical drugs into everythng... plus, they always say "marry my son" youre good looking, and good career.
and they`re anti-feminist
AND sometimes just bore me with trivial things like why women should cook? blarghh. my dad cooks for me.
and those of the same age, are always into drugs/girls-boys/ looking good. soo boring. but then they eat pork? hmm..

Reply 70

Golden_Boy786

Original post by Anonymous

ive already gone through the "losing faith" phase. this is the next step. and its quite scary.

i fink you need a hug :jumphug:

Reply 71

Anonymous #1

Original post by omgg

WTF!!

exactly. attention is not a problem whatsoever, and ive already said im a cool scarf desginer- not really an issue.

Reply 72

Anonymous #1

Original post by ak137

Your anon is safe with me :wink:

thanks but back to the point?

how am a going to tell mum? and those girls who copy my look... and the uncles who think im an ideal wife for their sons...

Reply 73

Anonymous #3

Original post by Golden_Boy786

Your the first muslim girl I've heard doesn't want to wear a head scarf. whats the matter, don't you have belief in your religion?

Are you wanting to become an atheist or convert to a different religion? :confused:

There are plenty of Muslim girls out there who don't wear a headscarf, only Allah and not you can judge if they are good Muslims or not.

OP I have read this thread and I feel like some people are attempting to guilt-trip you into staying religious, or even coming across passive aggressive.
Let me tell you one thing - I see you are a science student, if you don't believe in God: that is absolutely acceptable! Do not be afraid you are a disappointment to your parents, from my own experiences I can tell you if they truly love you they will accept you for who you are. (I am anon for sensitive reasons.)

If you even keep the faith, then not wearing the headscarf is also fine! Whether you do or do not wear it, either way it should be your choice. As a woman, respect yourself enough to stay true to yourself and your beliefs.

Let us keep Islam tolerant and peaceful, if the OP chooses to not wear her headscarf, respect her choice.

Reply 74

B-Man.

Considering that you're family is understanding and you want to talk to them. It's best to do it before uni, otherwise they will think it's uni life which has corrupted you. That level of weakness may even make them lose respect for you. Before talking to them you should:

1) Make a list of reasons for not wanting to wear the hijab.

2) Predict their reactions to them.

3) Think of rational responses to those reactions and how to put them across respectfully.

Also, make sure you are clear about what you mean about "no longer religious" as apostate and non-practicing will be percieved very differently.

Reply 75

Ayshizzle

Original post by Anonymous

thanks but back to the point?

how am a going to tell mum? and those girls who copy my look... and the uncles who think im an ideal wife for their sons...

I told my mum I no longer considered myself a Muslim not so long ago- if you need any tips PM me :smile:

I know the importance of your anon so you don;t have to worry :smile:

Reply 76

Anonymous #1

Original post by milesofsea

even though its not for me hijab is a beautfil thing. plus i dont see how guys can get away with no religeous link? how many dont have a beard but still claim hijab for a girl is vital

Original post by Tudball

thanks i know they`ll understand in the end... but starting topic . hmm

Original post by Golden_Boy786

i fink you need a hug :jumphug:

yup im actually shivering now :frown:

Reply 77

omgg

Original post by Anonymous

ive already gone through the "losing faith" phase. this is the next step. and its quite scary.

Do you want a shoulder to cry on? Must be quite scary now that you've lost your faith

But, my dear friend, hell is going to be even scarier... just remember that.
And if you dont get your faith back, then thats where your going to be heading

Reply 78

AdvanceAndVanquish

y advice is that you should take this step before you go to university and meet all the new people. If you show up the first day with a headscarf, then people will think it's weird when you take it off. If you really want to reinvent yourself as a new 'religion-free' person, you should take the opportunity of university to start fresh, and not drag stuff you don't want into it just because of inertia. I am going through something similar myself at the moment (except with Judaism), in terms of not believing in the reasons for sticking to the religious diet anymore, but keeping at it out of habit and because it has become one of the things i am known for. I feel like people who wouldn't actually have a problem with someone eating pork, for example, would comment just because it is me doing it. So if you have the chance to start over with people who will only know you as the 'new you,' definitely take that opportunity.