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Has anyone else got parents that wont help?

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    I was wondering what other's views/experiences were in regards to parents helping their kids whilst at Uni? Are any of you going to be studying with/without any help?

    Here's a rant...My situation is I'm going to study BA Fashion in London this september which I'm looking forward to. I will get a decent student maintenance loan and grant, then a part time job which if managed effectively will hopefully cover everything.

    The downside is studying fashion though is always going to be more expensive with added extras such as fabrics and trips etc. My parents have told me they won't be helping at all and I'm on my own. They are happy to brag to family members about me getting into top unis when it suits. We are not really rich but not badly off. I fell out with my mum earlier following a conversation about how I'm nervous about getting stuck with rent and stuff....she started going on about buying a pedigree puppy bearing in mind she just bought a brand new flash car, and holiday to Dubai. I don't want to sound like a sorry case or spoilt brat I guess I always thought parents would want to help their kids in these situations. My nana and grandad have said they will help with what they can which is lovely of them but I can't help but resent the fact grandparents on their pension want to help me but my parents don't.

    I know I have alot of friends who brag about the fact their parents are paying their accomodation, living costs. I even have a friend who is at uni now and she doesn't have to lift a finger, apart from ringing dad for the credit card.
    There are always going to be more privilaged kids I guess....
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    First world problem
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    Yeah gotta say: first world problems. My parents didn't contribute to my education - why the hell would they? I was 18 years old. Plenty old enough to get a job and support MYSELF through university like an independent adult. Paid them rent too. They raised me to adulthood (18), don't need to still be treated like a big overgrown baby when you're 18, 19, 20, 21 years old.
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    (Original post by screenager2004)
    Yeah gotta say: first world problems. My parents didn't contribute to my education - why the hell would they? I was 18 years old. Plenty old enough to get a job and support MYSELF through university like an independent adult. Paid them rent too. They raised me to adulthood (18), don't need to still be treated like a big overgrown baby when you're 18, 19, 20, 21 years old.
    That is cold as ****.
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    Op, two words: "care home".

    (Original post by screenager2004)
    don't need to still be treated like a big overgrown baby when you're 18, 19, 20, 21 years old.
    Yes you do. You are entirely reliant on the state to pay for your tuition and give you money to live on. I find it amazing that people expect the state to pay for them but don't think parents should help their kids.
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    Given that you've chosen to do a course that would incur a lot of extra costs, I have no sympathy.
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    (Original post by screenager2004)
    Yeah gotta say: first world problems. My parents didn't contribute to my education - why the hell would they? I was 18 years old. Plenty old enough to get a job and support MYSELF through university like an independent adult. Paid them rent too. They raised me to adulthood (18), don't need to still be treated like a big overgrown baby when you're 18, 19, 20, 21 years old.
    I suppose you're against maintenance grants for the less well off as well?
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    (Original post by screenager2004)
    They raised me to adulthood (18), don't need to still be treated like a big overgrown baby when you're 18, 19, 20, 21 years old.
    For students who are ineligible for any sort of grants, then why shouldn't their parents help them out financially?

    You're the one who sounds like a big overgrown baby to be honest, having such a big chip on your shoulder over this issue.
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    (Original post by screenager2004)
    Yeah gotta say: first world problems. My parents didn't contribute to my education - why the hell would they? I was 18 years old. Plenty old enough to get a job and support MYSELF through university like an independent adult. Paid them rent too. They raised me to adulthood (18), don't need to still be treated like a big overgrown baby when you're 18, 19, 20, 21 years old.
    Do you think the same about people who get grants from the government? Is anyone who claims any kind of benefit from the government a "big overgrown baby"? Because claiming from the government is no more different from claiming from family as far as I can see.
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    If you get to my age (grand old age of 25) and get to say you've been financially independent of your parents since 18, that is something you can look back on and be quite proud of. It's character-building.
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    (Original post by screenager2004)
    Yeah gotta say: first world problems. My parents didn't contribute to my education - why the hell would they? I was 18 years old. Plenty old enough to get a job and support MYSELF through university like an independent adult. Paid them rent too. They raised me to adulthood (18), don't need to still be treated like a big overgrown baby when you're 18, 19, 20, 21 years old.
    It's easy to pontificate and act smugly when you have a job, but you're forgetting how bad the job market is and how difficult it is to find a part-time job. I desperately want a job but until I get one, once I've paid my rent and bills, my loan simply does not cover my living costs and I have no choice but to ask for help from my parents, no matter how much I would rather be entirely independent.

    It's grossly unfair to label people who need support as "big overgrown babies" - have you never stopped to consider that they might actually prefer to have a job but just aren't fortunate to have one yet? I have had a series of successful interviews that haven't actually led to a job for reasons beyond my control, and it's incredibly frustrating. Bitter idiots like you obviously don't appreciate the efforts of people who aren't in your position.
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    1. My Dad could easily pay for me for my entire degree. He doesn't.
    2. I live with 7 people, two of which are incredibly rich internationals, 1 is independent and gets full loan, and all bursaries etc, the other 4 are paid for entirely. The worst part of this is their confusion when I say 'I can't afford it' and they genuinely have no idea how to deal with their money. The concept of not being able to afford it is ridiculous to them.
    3. I currently can not get a job as I am due to have knee surgery over summer and could be on crutches for two weeks, followed by several weeks of being hindered mobility wise.

    Parents should help, but not as much as some do. The reason people with high earning parents don't get full loans etc is because the government expects them to be assisted. All I get is occasional food shopping (once or twice a term, my Dad will visit), and anything I can justify as a reasonable expense - for example, he paid for my deposit etc for my house next year because I physically didn't have the money in my account. But then again, having everything paid for leads to people who have no concept of value or financial management.
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    (Original post by lottie51)
    The downside is studying fashion though is always going to be more expensive with added extras such as fabrics and trips etc. My parents have told me they won't be helping at all and I'm on my own. They are happy to brag to family members about me getting into top unis when it suits. We are not really rich but not badly off. I fell out with my mum earlier following a conversation about how I'm nervous about getting stuck with rent and stuff....she started going on about buying a pedigree puppy bearing in mind she just bought a brand new flash car, and holiday to Dubai. I don't want to sound like a sorry case or spoilt brat I guess I always thought parents would want to help their kids in these situations. My nana and grandad have said they will help with what they can which is lovely of them but I can't help but resent the fact grandparents on their pension want to help me but my parents don't.

    I know I have alot of friends who brag about the fact their parents are paying their accomodation, living costs. I even have a friend who is at uni now and she doesn't have to lift a finger, apart from ringing dad for the credit card.
    There are always going to be more privilaged kids I guess....
    A bit of an aside, but surely fabrics and trips (but not the travel) would be covered by your tuition fees? My boyfriend does Mechanical Engineering and the university has provided him and his course-mates with the equipment to build a car (they don't get to keep it - the material is reused, but the point still stands).

    Onto the main subject: students aren't exactly supposed to live perfectly comfortable lifestyles. It's pretty much well-known that the vast majority of students (obviously excluding those whose parents throw moolah at them) do not live brilliantly comfortable lifestyles. Students who really want one but whose parents don't wish to pay for their time at uni should cut away on things like drinking, or perhaps take years saving up lots of money before starting at university. Basically, as you say, you'll be able to cope if you manage things effectively and don't go for the most expensive accommodation (since that'll be one of your major payments at uni).

    In other words, if your passion to study outweighs that of 'living it up' at uni, then just get on with it. You're in the same boat as (almost) everybody else.
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    Oh no you can't afford your gucci and prada with your great loan and grant, what a ****ing shame. I've had weeks when I've been selling things to afford food and lavatory paper.
    You want to go to uni, do it, but your parents shouldn't have to support you in adulthood.

    My parents don't help me out and I don't want them to, they've got their own things to think about enjoying their life and planning for retirement, I'm just happy I managed to find some work down here and I can live like a normal person again. My loan and grant amounts to £5000 a year, I had to pay my rent and bills and live off that when I was unemployed, I'm sure you can man up.
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    (Original post by lottie51)
    My parents have told me they won't be helping at all and I'm on my own. They are happy to brag to family members about me getting into top unis when it suits. We are not really rich but not badly off. I fell out with my mum earlier following a conversation about how I'm nervous about getting stuck with rent and stuff....she started going on about buying a pedigree puppy bearing in mind she just bought a brand new flash car, and holiday to Dubai...

    Perhaps your parents really can't support you?? If you are getting a maintenance loan and grant then they must be getting less then 42,600 a year. Won't be much of that left after paying new car expenses and holidays to Dubai.

    I earn a lot more than that and my kids won't get any grants only minimum loan - I certainly couldn't afford a new car AND a holiday ... are your parents cooking the books somewhere?? If so how am I getting it so wrong
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    Maybe it's just that they want you to get a job at uni and support yourself so that you can learn how hard it can be. Some people have had to work from the age of 16 (or even younger) to support their own family and put food on the table. Not saying you are lazy, but maybe your parents just think it's time for you to go it alone.

    Also may I add that I agree with LadyBunion. You are getting that much loan/whatever but your parents got a new car and a holiday? They must have special contacts or as LadyBunion said, 'cooking the books' :P
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    My parents insisted i got a job at 16 and i did even though they are well off, they insisted like they had to as a kid that i had to earn my own way in the world.
    I worked full time during my freshers year and have managed to travel and buy things... its soo much more rewarding when you ahve saved up for it yourself rather than it beign handed on a plate.
    However i do know the feeling when other people do get everything given to them.. and it irritates the crap out of me
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    Not sure why everyone is suggesting that students should have to get a job ... I am on a gap year atm, and I get paid £5 an hour for a 40 hour week, so I'm not averse to the concept of hard work. But at university you are meant to be concentrating on your studies. Hell, some universities even forbid you from getting a job during term.

    Clearly this system was designed so that better-off parents are expected to help their children. It's a pity that some don't.

    Equally I don't understand the negativity some people display towards those who do get handouts from their parents. It's just a transfer of money, and the happiness/advantages it can bring, from one person to another. If someone wants to pass up a new BMW so their child has fewer debt worries, I say good on them. Sure we all hate it when this makes people spoiled and vacuous, but much of the time people are perfectly grateful for what they get.
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    I completely understand, in fact I'm pretty much in the exact same situation. People believe that because you've chosen an expensive course that you deserve to deal with consequences, you're studying a fashion course because you want to do fashion and london is the best place for that, fashion courses are highly competitive and instead of blaming for the expense, people should congratulate you for your determination and success. I've had a difficult family life, I live with my auntie in a flat now and know that my parents are not going to support me financially or otherwise but I've managed to secure a place at the london college of fashion, so I am a bit worried about money. I agree with you that if your parents should at least offer you money, even just to cover materials. Just because you are 18 does not mean you are entirely responsible for yourself, you're already taking a huge step of independence, so for anyone to call you a baby is completely bitter. My advice would be to get a job over the summer and just work, work, work, obviously it is a lot harder to get a job in this market but hopefully you can get one. If you have a good relationship with your parents,maybe if they noticed you were struggling, they would help. Good luck where are you going btw?
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    (Original post by emclme)
    I completely understand, in fact I'm pretty much in the exact same situation. People believe that because you've chosen an expensive course that you deserve to deal with consequences, you're studying a fashion course because you want to do fashion and london is the best place for that, fashion courses are highly competitive and instead of blaming for the expense, people should congratulate you for your determination and success. I've had a difficult family life, I live with my auntie in a flat now and know that my parents are not going to support me financially or otherwise but I've managed to secure a place at the london college of fashion, so I am a bit worried about money. I agree with you that if your parents should at least offer you money, even just to cover materials. Just because you are 18 does not mean you are entirely responsible for yourself, you're already taking a huge step of independence, so for anyone to call you a baby is completely bitter. My advice would be to get a job over the summer and just work, work, work, obviously it is a lot harder to get a job in this market but hopefully you can get one. If you have a good relationship with your parents,maybe if they noticed you were struggling, they would help. Good luck where are you going btw?
    I have an offer for BA Fashion Design at Westminster Which course will you be studying at LCF?
    Of course it was my decision to study Fashion, which is always going to be more expensive than a history degree for example. Purely because of all the materials, fabrics, printing costs, trips abroad etc. Apparantly it can tot up to thousands....They have already put the fees up to 9k per year, and In an ideal world this would suffice everything but hey ho!
    I will try and get some extra shifts, work loads over the summer holidays and hopefully that will cover it.
    Oh and then there's the internships though....Part of my course involves a year working in industry. I heard the laws had changed so you get paid at least minimum wage. If we don't do we get the student loan at least for the sandwich year so we can pay the rent? What do you reckon?

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