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Taking the "risk"...

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    My ex and I were inseparable. However, we argued quite a bit-he is a feisty scorpio with a sting in his tail! It would usually be him to start the arguments as he was very insecure and always wanted to get his own way. Other than that, he was perfect.

    In late feb we drifted apart...he drifted apart from me (felt unwanted and fed up of arguing) and went with another girl two weeks after we were officially over. Yep, this girl wanted him so he went running. Not worth my time, right?

    We have spoken and met each other every week since then, with him telling me how much he loved me and missed me but how much I hurt him. She will never replace me...yada yada yada.

    We spent all afternoon and evening with each other on Thursday. He said that he knows that he has made a big mistake and that we were "meant to be", that he is lost and confused and that he really isn't sure about this girl.

    Leave her and be with me, right? Wrong. He wants to "take the risk" with her.

    She was abused verbally and physically for 6 years. Does he really think that after he shows his true colours that she'll stay? Or will she stay because his verbal manipulation will be less than the abuse she suffered for years?

    Anywho, I'm filled with hate and anger at how selfish he is being because I know that they won't last and I know who he will come running back to me because he already knows what he is losing.

    Is this man just completely stupid and selfish?

    Would YOU ever take the risk if you feel like you're loosing your future wife?

    I know I wouldn't. I'd drop anything if I thought someone was 'the one'. Which draws the conclusion that he doesn't love me (as stupid as I sounds, I know that he does), he is playing us both and I've had enough of it!

    What would you do? Just block him? Tell her too? While she thinks he is all hers, he hasn't been.

    HELP!!
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    *bump*
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    Get on with your life, duh.
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    Stop talking to him idiot.
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    Looks like he's getting the best of both worlds. A little bit of L bomb here, a bit of puppy-dog 'meant to be' rubbish and you'll give it up before anyone can say 'but what about the other girl?'

    You're not only degrading yourself every time you give your (should be) precious time to him; you're doing a disservice to this other girl, who's abusive history you tell us as if to say that he should be taking that into account - well, why aren't YOU? Put your behaviour where your mouth is and stop being an utter prat for this guy. I know you secretly looooooove the thought that he's choosing you over her (because that's what true love is all about), but in reality, the only person he's choosing is himself.

    What next? When he gives it the ol' Justin Beiber baby baby ooh treatment, you'll go running. Yes you will. Like road runner, whoosh! So it doesn't matter what we say. I just want you to be aware of how everyday Jim would see your situation (and does: bet you've got a rep in the circles you road-run in).

    But, in the name of maybe-I'm-wrong-and-she-really-does-want-to-change-for-the-better-instead-of-expecting-sympathy...

    1. Put the violin away. If he's so howibble then why are you bothering? Makes you a bit of a turnip, dunnit?

    2. Get rid. No FB, no phone number, no bithday text, no 'how are you', no 'let's have an emotional talk (and get naked nomnomnom) - NUFFING. Drop him like he's hot and if he texts you saying 'y wots up bbz', tell him you're upping your game and therefore can no longer accommodate little ****s like him.

    3. If you really want to demonstrate better qualities, tell the girl. Yes! Flipping well tell her that you were stupid to do it but you've been sniffing around her guy and you're sorry. If she doesn't believe you, well, that's her journey. But tell her because you owe it to her.

    .. You gonna do any of that?

    Nooooooooooooo 'course not. 'Cos that would require balls.
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by The_Jammy_Witch)
    Looks like he's getting the best of both worlds. A little bit of L bomb here, a bit of puppy-dog 'meant to be' rubbish and you'll give it up before anyone can say 'but what about the other girl?'

    You're not only degrading yourself every time you give your (should be) precious time to him; you're doing a disservice to this other girl, who's abusive history you tell us as if to say that he should be taking that into account - well, why aren't YOU? Put your behaviour where your mouth is and stop being an utter prat for this guy. I know you secretly looooooove the thought that he's choosing you over her (because that's what true love is all about), but in reality, the only person he's choosing is himself.

    What next? When he gives it the ol' Justin Beiber baby baby ooh treatment, you'll go running. Yes you will. Like road runner, whoosh! So it doesn't matter what we say. I just want you to be aware of how everyday Jim would see your situation (and does: bet you've got a rep in the circles you road-run in).

    But, in the name of maybe-I'm-wrong-and-she-really-does-want-to-change-for-the-better-instead-of-expecting-sympathy...

    1. Put the violin away. If he's so howibble then why are you bothering? Makes you a bit of a turnip, dunnit?

    2. Get rid. No FB, no phone number, no bithday text, no 'how are you', no 'let's have an emotional talk (and get naked nomnomnom) - NUFFING. Drop him like he's hot and if he texts you saying 'y wots up bbz', tell him you're upping your game and therefore can no longer accommodate little ****s like him.

    3. If you really want to demonstrate better qualities, tell the girl. Yes! Flipping well tell her that you were stupid to do it but you've been sniffing around her guy and you're sorry. If she doesn't believe you, well, that's her journey. But tell her because you owe it to her.

    .. You gonna do any of that?

    Nooooooooooooo 'course not. 'Cos that would require balls.
    Jammy, I've seen a few of your posts before-you are such a feisty one! I love it!! I don't think I'm going to be the c-u-next-tuesday to tell his new piece of meat as she will find out for herself. And yes, all contact will be cut.

    The mother f... was even trying to get me to cancel my holiday! What, so I can sit at home and mope all day about him? To feel like he's come to his senses? NO! He can go take and run and jump! What a pathetic little worm he is!!!!!!!!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Jammy, I've seen a few of your posts before-you are such a feisty one! I love it!! I don't think I'm going to be the c-u-next-tuesday to tell his new piece of meat as she will find out for herself. And yes, all contact will be cut.

    The mother f... was even trying to get me to cancel my holiday! What, so I can sit at home and mope all day about him? To feel like he's come to his senses? NO! He can go take and run and jump! What a pathetic little worm he is!!!!!!!!
    Alright. Well no more wormy-lovin' for you in future, okay?
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by The_Jammy_Witch)
    Alright. Well no more wormy-lovin' for you in future, okay?
    OK, I promise. Do you think I should tell his new "gf"? Or will that just make me look like a psycho ex-gf?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    OK, I promise. Do you think I should tell his new "gf"? Or will that just make me look like a psycho ex-gf?
    I think it would be the right and honourable thing to do, provided that you try not to attach your own opinion to it - as I said, just tell her you were stupid but it DID happen so maybe you both ought to leave this fella to it.

    Of course, she will most probably make you out to be psycho ex-gf, but who cares what she thinks anyway? It's about your own integrity.

    At the very least, just drop off the radar of the both of them.

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Updated: April 7, 2012
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