Why are most people rushing into things?

Why do girls especially rush things all the time. All the girls around me are getting engaged and living with their boyfriends under the age of 24? Having babies and posting tons and tons of pictures of them together on Facebook and all that. Kudos to them for staying together, but I'd never do that. I'd hate to have a woman in my yard telling me what to do and what the place will look like, etc.

Maybe i'm out of touch with everyone else, but my mum always used to tell me to go out and see the world, get oput of the council estate, accomplish your dreams, make money and enjoy yourself before you live with any woman and slow down and always be independent. Maybe i've never met a decent enough woman?

Is there any women out there who don't desire to be in a relationship at the moment and want to live the dream before they get a boyfriend or is it just a race to find love before they reach 25?

(edited 12 years ago)

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Reply 1

LavenderBlueSky88

I know what you mean, I'm 23 now and SO MANY girls I went to school with are married/having children/living with partners. It all seems so far off for me, and I'm glad! I want to have my youth....I've got the rest of my adult life to be a wife/mother/partner (if I so choose)

Reply 2

jblackmoustache

Original post by LavenderBlueSky88

I reckon it's an easy way for girls (especially here in deprived areas of Yorkshire) to get out the 'hood'. Girls can get the opportunity of living with a partner handed to them easier. When you're a guy you have to fund a place on your own definetly (not saying ALL girls do this before the internet feminist warriors come)

Reply 3

Sparklyblue171

Well I'm 20 and currently in a relationship (though I haven't loads of experience with it in the past so I'm grateful to have one now).

But there are loads I still want to do with my life before I even think about settling down and having kids, etc. Right now I'm focused on uni, then when that's done I'll keep surrounding myself with things to help me progress with my future career. Hopefully my life path isn't going to take a surprise turn, but finding love would always be a welcome thing.

Reply 4

sheepy18

I'm 20 now, getting married next year at 21, in a couple of years we're going to start trying for a baby. I wouldn't say I'm rushing things, just enjoying what I have. For some its way too young, for me its right. It really does depend on the person.

Reply 5

ssupernova

Original post by jblackmoustache

Maybe i'm out of touch with everyone else, but my mum always used to tell me to go out and see the world, get oput of the council estate, accomplish your dreams, make money and enjoy yourself before you live with any woman and slow down and always be independent. Maybe i've never met a decent enough woman?

i agree. people around me have ****ty ambition really. in september im off to america, then ill come back to finish my ba degree. continue to a masters and get a decent job, travel the world. save up, get a nice home... then i might think about kids. i want my kids to grow up in a comfortable and financially stable environment.( i love my mum and dad with all my heart and they did their absolute best for me) but that's not what i had ! i want the 100% best for my kids, not just having one cos i found the right guy. my kids will be the number one thing in the absolute world, so i want to live my life to the full before i can watch them do the same in theirs. no regrets

Reply 6

Mamiya

Original post by jblackmoustache

That's what my mum says to me.
I do currently want a relationship just because I haven't been in one before.
But I understand, you need to develop yourself and learn a few things before settling down with someone.Dealing with someone else's emotions, problems and family is another thing.

Most of my friends and me all want to settle down before we're thirty.We all want to have some sort of career, meet a nice guy and then have a family.But in the end I think it's just the fear of not finding a partner in time as women have a gap in which it's "safer" to have kids (menopause yadda yadda) ....but that is only one reason of many.

Reply 7

LavenderBlueSky88

Original post by sheepy18

Out of sheer curiosity, why are you getting married at such a young age? Is it for religious reasons?

Reply 8

Lucia.

I'm 22 and I don't feel as if I need to find the man I'll marry by the time I'm 25. If I did think that, it would be putting a lot of pressure. I mean, it would give me less than 3 years. :redface:

. Seriously though, I want to enjoy my life and feel that I've achieved some essential ambitions. I don't want to be a bitter older person with unfulfilled dreams. I'm happy as I am anyway, man or no man.

Reply 9

tiana

I regret everything I did before 25 moving in with my now ex husband, getting married and having a baby, all while working part-time and doing my degree.

Reply 10

Tegan

It's funny you posted this, as one of my old friends got married today at 19. They say that they love each other, want to stay together forever etc. but they still act like children! She did pretty well in school but her only 'dream' has been to get married. I'm happy for her but I wonder whether, in 10/20 years time, she'll regret not carrying on with her education.

Another friend had a baby at 17. She'd only known the guy 5 minutes and all of a sudden she was pregnant and he was moving in with her and her parents. They're still together but I don't know how long it'll last. I spoke to her the other day and she said, "the novelty of having a baby has worn off, it's actually really boring." She goes out more than I do and leaves her mum to look after the baby! I guess she's wishing she hadn't rushed into things...

Reply 11

sheepy18

Original post by LavenderBlueSky88

Out of sheer curiosity, why are you getting married at such a young age? Is it for religious reasons?

No neither of us are religious and have been living together for a year. We just love eachother, want to share our lives together and we want to bind ourselves together in every possible way. We don't see any point in waiting if we're going to do it anyway. :colondollar:

I guess its not something that a lot of people can understand, my parents would've like me to wait a few more years, but we'll have been together 4.5yrs when we're married so its not a HUGE rush.
I know a girl from school who's my age and in a space of a year she's got married, moved to another country and had a baby! That I would say is too quick, she hardly knows her husband.
But each to their own :smile:

Reply 12

staring.space

My mum said to me, never rush love. That's the one thing I definitely took from her, and I'm just enjoying my life whilst studying, and if someone comes along they come along. I've got so much to do and see before I want to settle down properly, but I guess I'd like to have a companion to do that stuff with eventually.

Reply 13

DrGalago

My big plans were to avoid relationships until I'd graduated, got my qualifications sorted etc... but then I met my boyfriend in my first year of uni and it's totally changed my outlook. I still want to do all the travelling, seeing the world etc, I just want to share it with him now; we both feel the same and are moving in together in august. So I think it just depends on how life pans out sometimes! Quite a lot of my friends are getting engaged/married at the minute, and I'm suprised to find myself feeling a little bit jealous, but I can also see the advantages of waiting a few years, which is what we're doing.

Reply 14

Dark Horse

No relationships will be had. I'm still a 22-year-old boy.

But yes I know many women around here who could be described as "man traps".

Reply 15

jblackmoustache

Original post by Dark Horse

No relationships will be had. I'm still a 22-year-old boy.

But yes I know many women around here who could be described as "man traps".

Refreshing to hear. So many guys think they're men because they're legal to drink, had sex with a couple of club girls and go clubbing all the time. Still young bucks wildin' out.

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

Original post by sheepy18

...excuse my while I throw up

Reply 17

Vohamanah

I'm exactly the same. I work with a mostly female workplace, with people mostly around the same age as me, and I'm shocked how many of them are either planning weddings or newly married.

I'm in a relationship, and happily so. He lives at his place and I live at mine. I wouldn't even consider getting married or having children at this stage, what's the rush?

To be honest I've done the whole long-term relationship, living with someone, nearly getting married and having kids (he was trying to pressure me into it) and when I think about the fact I could now be a 26 year old single mother slash divorcee its mind-blowing.

When you think about the percentage of young relationships that fail, and with people seemingly getting married younger and younger, is it any wonder the divorce rate is so high?