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Disliking how camp I am

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    I'm not ridiculously effeminate or anything, but if you were around me a lot you'd probably be able to gather that I was gay based on how I act. But I don't want to be like that. I read all the time about how others "don't mind gay people, but can't stand camp guys", and how other gay men find campness repulsive, and it's just really depressing, because that means I'll never be able to be in a relationship with anyone. Especially considering that I'm usually attracted to the less obvious gay men. I just don't want to be seen as a joke all the time, and it's not something I put on. Everyone seems to think it's some sort of act that gay people do to announce their sexuality to everyone, but it's not. I've always just liked a few "girly" things, and I've never been overly masculine, even before I even knew I was gay myself.

    I'm taking a gap year but I'll be going to university in 2013 and I'd like to think that I could maybe change how I am over that period? I don't want to go on being made to feel pathetic and like a comedy act. Even making this thread was embarrassing.
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    **** what people think. Be yourself.

    Better to live life on your terms and make a few enemies, than be that boring guy who nobody remembers because he was too afraid to express himself.

    If somebody made a comment about my personality I would laugh it off and tell them where to go.
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    I think that ceris makes a good point. However, it sounds like you dislike the way you are at the moment and, in particular, want to meet less camp gay men. There is nothing wrong with that. If you want to change who you are there is nothing wrong with that. So there is no need to feel guilty about this.

    I don't want to go on being made to feel pathetic and like a comedy act
    I'm really sorry that you feel like this. It sounds like this really affects you and I hope you find a path that is right for you. Maybe if you want to be less camp, take things in small steps. Firstly, what do you actually define as being camp? For instance, I am straight and I am possibly one of the least 'camp acting' guys I know. However, I seem to be very in tune to emotions and I enjoy flowers and I can easily get upset and cry and things like that. So what is it that you actually define as 'camp' traits?

    Is it things like your voice and the things you say? Is it gestures? Is it your clothes? (I'm really sorry if any of these things is offensive I am stereotyping what camp is as I really don't have much experience in this matter). If it's these things, why not just try one thing at a time and slowly work your way towards being less camp.

    I really hope things work out for you
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've always just liked a few "girly" things, and I've never been overly masculine, even before I even knew I was gay myself.
    When people talk about 'camp', they generally mean the hyperbolised, media, Perez Hilton kind of person who rarely (if at all) is found in normal life. I really wouldn't stress about it, you could potentially make yourself unhappy by denying yourself simple things that make you happy.

    Wouldn't it be sad if in the future, someone fell in love with a version of you that wasn't true to yourself?
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    You are who you are. Attempting to change yourself to adhere to others standards can only bring pain and unhappiness, you should try and look beyond the narrow and borderline homophobia to find who you really are.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Guybrush Sheepgood)
    Is it things like your voice and the things you say? Is it gestures? Is it your clothes? (I'm really sorry if any of these things is offensive I am stereotyping what camp is as I really don't have much experience in this matter).
    My gestures and mannerisms aren't too bad, but voice is annoying and quite high. And I just come out with embarrassing crap all the time. It's like I'm over excitable and people think I'm trying to be funny when I'm not. I think it's part nerves, part flamboyancy.

    I just don't like myself at all. It probably stems from all the teasing I've had and stuff but that was a long time ago and I should have gotten over it by now.

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Updated: April 9, 2012
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