[redferry]

(Original post by francescarella)
OP is Samantha Brick.





(just kidding, i hate sexism too)

I wish!

If only I was as stunning and beautiful as Samantha Brick!

[Spontogical]

(Original post by redferry)
Just because of the reasons they have given for not liking me, and observing people's reactions towards the things I say. I only came to this conclusion through the fact I am trying to change who I am because I am unhappy with it. I have been discussing a lot with my parents and friends just what it is that pisses off so many people about me. And this just comes up time and time again. It's frustrating because I try and be friendly towards everyone, and I would never EVER purposely hurt someone's feelings. Yet there is a certain type of girl, and a certain type of guy, that really takes a dislike towards me. And I struggle to get into a relationship because I am not what guys have been conditioned to look for in a girl (beyond first appearances).

Wait a minute. Aren't you the same girl that hates shy guys/girls/introverts?

[redferry]

(Original post by DaveSmith99)
Certain types of people just dont get along with certain types of people. There are plenty of people who I don't like, even though they have been perfectly pleasant to me, the reason for this is that some peoples personalities just clash.

I think I have only met one girl who did not hate me on first impressions. I really have to work to break that barrier down. That's a lot more than most I think you will admit.

[redferry]

(Original post by Spontogical)
Wait a minute. Aren't you the same girl that hates shy guys/girls/introverts?

Doesn't mean I am not nice to them! I'm lovely to my friends gf (the one that I really dislike because she is rude and refuses to talk to any of us most of the time), I always chat to her, I even made her a cake Just because you dislike someone is not an excuse to be horrible to them!!

[Spontogical]

(Original post by redferry)
Doesn't mean I am not nice to them! I'm lovely to my friends gf (the one that I really dislike because she is rude and refuses to talk to any of us most of the time), I always chat to her, I even made her a cake Just because you dislike someone is not an excuse to be horrible to them!!

Why don't you just be yourself then? I don't care how clichéd this sounds. If somebody doesn't like you because of who you are then so what? I could say exactly the same, I have traits that most people wouldn't describe as wholly masculine - infact sometimes I describe myself as being a niche market.

It seriously isn't something to be worried about. Of course with society, you will be an outcast if you don't fit in - but I'm quite glad to be on in some respects. Luckily I have also found a small group of friends that are on the same wavelength as me. Who cares what society thinks anyways. Usually if there is a rule I don't like - I try to break it; pretty much what I dedicate my whole life to but that's another story >.>

[sconter]

(Original post by redferry)
Doesn't mean I am not nice to them! I'm lovely to my friends gf (the one that I really dislike because she is rude and refuses to talk to any of us most of the time), I always chat to her, I even made her a cake Just because you dislike someone is not an excuse to be horrible to them!!

if you have a reason to not like them, then it is a reason to ignore/be horrible to them.

[sconter]

(Original post by redferry)
I wish!

If only I was as stunning and beautiful as Samantha Brick!

dont know what she looks like, but the surname brick takes atleast 2 ratings off her

[redferry]

(Original post by sconter)
if you have a reason to not like them, then it is a reason to ignore/be horrible to them.

Well maybe if you aren't a very nice person Why make someone sad for the sake of it? Not going to help me in any way. Especially if you have to spend time with that person. Best to just be nice to everyone, why treat someone badly, it's just pointless and vindictive.

(Original post by Spontogical)
Why don't you just be yourself then? I don't care how clichéd this sounds. If somebody doesn't like you because of who you are then so what? I could say exactly the same, I have traits that most people wouldn't describe as wholly masculine - infact sometimes I describe myself as being a niche market.

It seriously isn't something to be worried about. Of course with society, you will be an outcast if you don't fit in - but I'm quite glad to be on in some respects. Luckily I have also found a small group of friends that are on the same wavelength as me. Who cares what society thinks anyways. Usually if there is a rule I don't like - I try to break it; pretty much what I dedicate my whole life to but that's another story >.>

I am just myself these days, it's glorious. I piss a lot of people off though, luckily I now have more than enough friends so it doesn't bother me like it used to when I was still finding my feet at uni. I just think in the future the fact guys aren't interested is going to start getting to me =/ a lot of people seem to be settling into long term relationships now.

I tend to just pick up all the outcasts. I lived with 16 people last year that didn't have anyone to live with lol.

But I am changing uni soon and I just want to fit in, first year was miserable, girls (and guys in a relationship context) were truly horrific to me and I don't want to go back to that.

[sconter]

(Original post by redferry)
Well maybe if you aren't a very nice person Why make someone sad for the sake of it? Not going to help me in any way. Especially if you have to spend time with that person. Best to just be nice to everyone, why treat someone badly, it's just pointless and vindictive.


its not for the sake of it if there is a genuine reason

hl.knkh

[redferry]

(Original post by sconter)
hl.knkh

I really don't understand why it would benefit you though. I mean if someone was genuinely horrible to me I wouldn't be friends with them any more, but I wouldn't be actively horrible to them =/ It doesn't achieve anything.

But anyway, this is totally off topic.

[Ocassus]

(Original post by BadCoverVersion)
Yes massively. The sad part is that its so ingrained we just accept the patriarchy as the status quo. The truth is that sexism is often socially subliminal for most people, who will support feminism insofar as it just means equal pay and employment opportunities. In my experience, very few men will ever come to see the world this way, simply because its much easier to fall back into the default male roles laid out by society. Sadly, many women like you seem to fall into a gap.

But hello? How are you going to fix a widespread sociological problem?

You can't really legislate against it without becoming the 'thought police'.

[pellejema]

(Original post by redferry)
Can anyone see this deep rooted sexism going away?
To what extent do people think this is an issue in society?

Respect to you. Cue loads of 'lads' writing loads of 'banterous' comments about you being a 'right lezzer'. The truth is that girls like you, and to an extent myself, don't really fit into a gender stereotype which means that we often have to put parts of our personalities across differently to fit in at all.

And these gender stereotypes ARE ingrained in society - from birth, girls are more likely to be 'cute' and 'pretty', and boys 'strong' and 'handsome'. Boys are encouraged to play outside more than girls. The difficult thing is that some or these differences are biological. That doesn't mean that either sex is better than the other -- they're just different. To your latter question, it's becomes a problem when one sex believes they are superior to the other . I was told by a guy I work with that - I paraphrase - men are inherently superior to women. Nothing changes this. Not wealth, not status, not personality traits. If you have a dick you're better than someone with a vagina.

And one of the reasons this view is totally, utterly outdated is because, thank GOD, gender roles are being blurred. Until everyone realises that we're just humans, we're just ONE human race, in the same way that we recognise that people of different races are all just part of the same human race, sexism will still exist and will not go away.

[redferry]

(Original post by pellejema)
Respect to you. Cue loads of 'lads' writing loads of 'banterous' comments about you being a 'right lezzer'. The truth is that girls like you, and to an extent myself, don't really fit into a gender stereotype which means that we often have to put parts of our personalities across differently to fit in at all.

And these gender stereotypes ARE ingrained in society - from birth, girls are more likely to be 'cute' and 'pretty', and boys 'strong' and 'handsome'. Boys are encouraged to play outside more than girls. The difficult thing is that some or these differences are biological. That doesn't mean that either sex is better than the other -- they're just different. To your latter question, it's becomes a problem when one sex believes they are superior to the other . I was told by a guy I work with that - I paraphrase - men are inherently superior to women. Nothing changes this. Not wealth, not status, not personality traits. If you have a dick you're better than someone with a vagina.

And one of the reasons this view is totally, utterly outdated is because, thank GOD, gender roles are being blurred. Until everyone realises that we're just humans, we're just ONE human race, in the same way that we recognise that people of different races are all just part of the same human race, sexism will still exist and will not go away.

I just feel like I'm trapped in some body where guys look down on me but if I just had a penis they would be able to actually see me for me and we'd get on really well. I'm lucky enough to have a group of friends that treats me as one of the lads, I finally feel included. But it was a long time coming, and groups of guys outside of these still look down on me. Why exclude someone from 'banter' just because they have boobs? So frustrating -_-
But then it's swings and roundabouts really, because being 'one of the lads' comes with just being seen as a bloke and no-one being remotely interested in a relationship with me. I think for now I would rather have it that way round though.

[GirasoleL]

I agree, sexism is still rife in this society! In terms of the type of sexism you're refering to, which of course both sexes are a victim to, but women quite often more so, there have been enough threads and posts on TSR that have shown this, with the amount of people wrongly generalising either gender and thinking that women and men should act in a certain way. While this is far from the majority of the forum, there has still been a fair few people like this, which is sad really.

[BadCoverVersion]

(Original post by Ocassus)
But hello? How are you going to fix a widespread sociological problem?

You can't really legislate against it without becoming the 'thought police'.

Education.

[Spontogical]

We've come far, but racism, sexism and homophobia still has a long way to go.

[Ocassus]

(Original post by BadCoverVersion)
Education.

How on earth do you 'educate' your weigh around sch deep rooted psychological perceptions though?

[rad_student]

(Original post by redferry)
I just feel like I'm trapped in some body where guys look down on me but if I just had a penis they would be able to actually see me for me and we'd get on really well. I'm lucky enough to have a group of friends that treats me as one of the lads, I finally feel included. But it was a long time coming, and groups of guys outside of these still look down on me. Why exclude someone from 'banter' just because they have boobs? So frustrating -_-
But then it's swings and roundabouts really, because being 'one of the lads' comes with just being seen as a bloke and no-one being remotely interested in a relationship with me. I think for now I would rather have it that way round though.

Lost a bit of sympathy wrt being nice to, but hates shy guys/girls/introverts.

Apart from being yourself, don't get so hung up on what others thinking of you/being liked (I get that impression). Focus on self improving, build understanding & knowledge of cultures/races/gender, etc. I say travel to a non-English speaking country! The people who like the person you are, will come to you once they r aware of you; otherwise they go to people with their own common ground - only a problem if u 'provoke' them & they take action, why bring hassle to yourself. People might like you for the person inside, even if there is little common ground. If you can understand the world's people than apart from tolerance, you may feel more comfortable 'being defined/ease with oneself.' Being responsible for your own happiness is empowering.
Quality friendships are more important than quanity.

On topic: sexism is a part of prejudism that comes from not understainding the other's POV. So everyone 'loves' young children, as they have no preconceptions of "racism, sexism and homophobia" whilst being brutally honest.
Maybe there should be worlwide school courses on "Understanding World Cultures," to bring a start to peace & harmony?

"deep rooted psychological perceptions" comes from propaganda (Govt influencing society), parents own upbringing, etc, unless a problem with the limbic system & surrounding.

[redferry]

(Original post by Ocassus)
How on earth do you 'educate' your weigh around sch deep rooted psychological perceptions though?

Racism was once a deep rooted psychological perception, and that has been broken down, at least in the area I grew up in.

[Ocassus]

(Original post by redferry)
Racism was once a deep rooted psychological perception, and that has been broken down, at least in the area I grew up in.

Eh, racism has not been eliminated. Nor has education been the reason for progress. :/