[redferry]

(Original post by rad_student)
Lost a bit of sympathy wrt being nice to, but hates shy guys/girls/introverts.

Apart from being yourself, don't get so hung up on what others thinking of you/being liked (I get that impression). Focus on self improving, build understanding & knowledge of cultures/races/gender, etc. I say travel to a non-English speaking country! The people who like the person you are, will come to you once they r aware of you; otherwise they go to people with their own common ground - only a problem if u 'provoke' them & they take action, why bring hassle to yourself. People might like you for the person inside, even if there is little common ground. If you can understand the world's people than apart from tolerance, you may feel more comfortable 'being defined/ease with oneself.' Being responsible for your own happiness is empowering.
Quality friendships are more important than quanity.

On topic: sexism is a part of prejudism that comes from not understainding the other's POV. So everyone 'loves' young children, as they have no preconceptions of "racism, sexism and homophobia" whilst being brutally honest.
Maybe there should be worlwide school courses on "Understanding World Cultures," to bring a start to peace & harmony?

"deep rooted psychological perceptions" comes from propaganda (Govt influencing society), parents own upbringing, etc, unless a problem with the limbic system & surrounding.

I don't HATE them I just find them awkward to be around.

I am very well travelled I'm not sure much more is needed. I literally go travelling whenever I have the money. Half my family is non-english speaking. I'm from Birmingham as well, cultural awareness is not one of my low-points.

Yeah but having lots of quality friendships is even better than having a few I couldn't wish for better friends.

[BadCoverVersion]

(Original post by Ocassus)
How on earth do you 'educate' your weigh around sch deep rooted psychological perceptions though?

Well, I would argue that many societal attitudes that were accepted as 'just the way things are' fifty or even thirty years ago would now be regarded as absurd.

In the same way that society used to condone latent homophobia and casual racism, attitudes to gender roles could be similarly addressed through a balanced, liberal education.

[rad_student]

(Original post by redferry)
I don't HATE them I just find them awkward to be around.

I am very well travelled I'm not sure much more is needed. I literally go travelling whenever I have the money. Half my family is non-english speaking. I'm from Birmingham as well, cultural awareness is not one of my low-points.

Yeah but having lots of quality friendships is even better than having a few I couldn't wish for better friends.

What have u tried to feel less awkward?
In ur travels, what r some of the contrasts the different people see compared to uk? Which ones did you agree with or disagree, did the people accept it or r they fighting for change?

3rd quote - good for you, now ur posts sounds like you r an ungrateful complainer, as other people don't seem to like you as much u'd like.

[Hackett]

If you're fit, you will go places.

[sconter]

(Original post by Hackett)
If you're fit, you will go places.

namely a premier inn, room 426 nom'sayain?

[redferry]

(Original post by rad_student)
What have u tried to feel less awkward?
In ur travels, what r some of the contrasts the different people see compared to uk? Which ones did you agree with or disagree, did the people accept it or r they fighting for change?

3rd quote - good for you, now ur posts sounds like you r an ungrateful complainer, as other people don't seem to like you as much u'd like.

I just be nice. Its ok because I dont have to spend much time around them, other than my housemates gf. We can have a relatively pleasant exchange these days so it isnt so bad.

In what context?

People are actively horrible to me - thats not complaining that people don't like me as much as I'd like. I have been disliked my whole life, and had to make a lot of compromises to get friends. I am in no way ungrateful, just sick of people actively hating me.

[Freier._.lance]

(Original post by redferry)
Just because of the reasons they have given for not liking me, and observing people's reactions towards the things I say. I only came to this conclusion through the fact I am trying to change who I am because I am unhappy with it. I have been discussing a lot with my parents and friends just what it is that pisses off so many people about me. And this just comes up time and time again. It's frustrating because I try and be friendly towards everyone, and I would never EVER purposely hurt someone's feelings. Yet there is a certain type of girl, and a certain type of guy, that really takes a dislike towards me. And I struggle to get into a relationship because I am not what guys have been conditioned to look for in a girl (beyond first appearances).

Strong personalities in girls can be very attractive! If you really want to break old customs, then make the first move rather than waiting for a guy to make a move. And ffs, don;t try and change your personality, because you'll just end up resenting everyone else for it.

[redferry]

(Original post by Ocassus)
Eh, racism has not been eliminated. Nor has education been the reason for progress. :/

Personally I think education has played a major part. And in my experience racism is far less ingrained in society, although I am from Birmingham so that is probably a bit biased because we all integrate from a young age. Racism has been eliminated from the society in which I grew up. I have never been in an environment where sexism of this kind was not prevalent.

[redferry]

(Original post by Hackett)
If you're fit, you will go places.

In what way does how attractive I am have a bearing on it?

[redferry]

(Original post by Freier._.lance)
Strong personalities in girls can be very attractive! If you really want to break old customs, then make the first move rather than waiting for a guy to make a move. And ffs, don;t try and change your personality, because you'll just end up resenting everyone else for it.

I have no problem at all making the first move. I don't bother any more though, too many bad experiences and also inconvenient timing.

[Cheese_Monster]

Prejudice is in human nature. Not that this justifies its use, but it is a sad fact that human beings, at some point or another, have natural intolerances to some trait on another, no matter how irrational, insignificant or stereotyped.

[calumsteele1]

tbh i think theres worse things in life than what the OP is talking about, getting a little bit of stick for acting butch really isnt that bad...

[redferry]

(Original post by calumsteele1)
tbh i think theres worse things in life than what the OP is talking about, getting a little bit of stick for acting butch really isnt that bad...

Of course there are, but it still doesn't mean it isn't **** when you are subjected to it your whole life. Most of it isn't as widespread, either.

I'm not talking about a little bit of stick here, although I am constantly subjected to 'a little bit of stick'. But that's fine, I can get over that.

I'm talking about girls actively seeking me out and victimising me, screaming at me in the street, in front of others, swearing at me, trying to turn others against me. Constant bitching and rumour spreading behind my back.
Girlfriends telling my mates that they can't spend time with me (luckily they would never listen)
I'm talking about guys posting online about how stupid I am in front of the whole of my course, for everyone to see, just because I dared challenge their opinion on something/joked about them being small (which their male friends do all the time).

[calumsteele1]

(Original post by redferry)
Of course there are, but it still doesn't mean it isn't **** when you are subjected to it your whole life. Most of it isn't as widespread, either.

I'm not talking about a little bit of stick here, although I am constantly subjected to 'a little bit of stick'. But that's fine, I can get over that.

I'm talking about girls actively seeking me out and victimising me, screaming at me in the street, in front of others, swearing at me, trying to turn others against me. Constant bitching and rumour spreading behind my back.
Girlfriends telling my mates that they can't spend time with me (luckily they would never listen)
I'm talking about guys posting online about how stupid I am in front of the whole of my course, for everyone to see, just because I dared challenge their opinion on something/joked about them being small (which their male friends do all the time).

alright then thats fair enough but it seems that the extent of the [ i think bullying would be an apt description?] goes far beyond just social norms here. ive never heard of someone getting so much **** for something like this?!

[redferry]

(Original post by calumsteele1)
alright then thats fair enough but it seems that the extent of the [ i think bullying would be an apt description?] goes far beyond just social norms here. ive never heard of someone getting so much **** for something like this?!

I just seem to attract it. Especially off a certain type of girl. I went to a girls school which didn't help. Thought I'd escaped when I got to uni but no, I was in a flat with the same type of girl, and all her cruel mates in the flat below. They HATED me. I was never anything but nice to them.
They just take real issue with the fact I get on well with guys and don't partake in bitching. Also that I don't automatically discuss all my problems, especially to do with relationships, with them.

Guys tend to be more snide about it, and most, once they see past all the bad things they've heard about me from other girls, and if they don't have a huge ego so can handle me joking with them, become my friends eventually.

I'm not sure there are many girls out there who are as 'laddy' as I am...I know maybe one other. People probably don't come across it so much.

[thetobbit]

(Original post by redferry)
I'm not talking about the obvious things, like the pay gap, or women in sport etc etc.
I'm talking about the way we are brought up and this ingrained idea of 'female traits' and 'male traits, that is forced upon all of us from a very early age.

As a girl that has always struggled with female relationships from around the age of four, I always had male friends. Instead of ballet I went to football, much to my dads pleasure and mums disappointment, and I was always getting into scraps in the playground. As I have got older I have made some female friends, but has been a struggle.

As a girl the expectation is that you must be vulnerable, and show these vulnerabilities to other girls in order to enter into a friendship. As a result of severe bullying throughout my school-life I am unable to do this. This leaves the majority of female relationships closed to me.

Similarly, as a girl, 'banter' and joking does not go down well.
I have always been brought up to take the piss and it is amazing how many people of both genders take it far too seriously coming from a girl, when from a guy they just laugh it off. I have the same problem with the fact I am independant and outspoken. I get a lot of guys cutting me down in conversations, or cutting me out altogether.
An example of this was me taking the piss out of a friend of mine, his housemate turns to me and says 'Oh, she thinks she's funny, doesn't she'. I would have though 21 year old male students had got past the point of finding independent outspoken females threatening, but apparently not.

Ingrained in both genders is the expectation of girls to be womanly, needy, vulnerable and most of all submissive. It is not immediately obvious to most as the majority have the fortune of fitting these stereotypes imposed upon them by society, but as someone who doesn't really fit the extent of this issue has recently become blindingly obvious. I have come to realise the reason I have always resented being born a girl, and the reason I have always struggled with relationships other than friendships with men (Despite all the male complaints about girls liking shopping and not football I've heard over the years, 99% of the male population would never date a girl that likes football and hates shopping seemingly).

I would also add that I am sure that the opposite is true for men, and this is equally as ****. Although In my experience girls are a lot more forgiving in terms of relationships with these types of guys, and in some case even prefer them.

Can anyone see this deep rooted sexism going away?
To what extent do people think this is an issue in society?

Yes this all unfortunate but be thankful you don't live in Iran or somewhere similar, godsake get over yourself.

Women can effectively do whatever the hell they want in modern western countries.

[redferry]

(Original post by thetobbit)
Yes this all unfortunate but be thankful you don't live in Iran or somewhere similar, godsake get over yourself.

Women can effectively do whatever the hell they want in modern western countries.

Oh well its better than Iran, so be grateful

This exactly the sort of attitude that allows sexism of this kind to prevail needlessly in Western Society.

[mirin?]

(Original post by redferry)
Point proven -_-

dyke. Tbh i hate women in this particular society more than i hate any race, creed, religion.

[thetobbit]

(Original post by redferry)
Oh well its better than Iran, so be grateful

This exactly the sort of attitude that allows sexism of this kind to prevail needlessly in Western Society.

Once more, you really don't know how well your living...

[redferry]

(Original post by thetobbit)
Once more, you really don't know how well your living...

How would you know? You have no concept of grateful/ungrateful I am of my standard of living. Just because I air something that I find unjust (which it undeniably is, maybe to a lesser extent to being forced to marry someone I don't know etc etc, but it is something people on here will relate to a lot more) on an internet forum in order to prompt a discussion - ie what a forum is for - does not have any reflection whatsoever about my feelings of my standard of living.

Now go and impose your unfounded damning opinion on someone else.