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My "religious" views stop me from committing to my girlfriend

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    (Original post by ThatPerson)
    Just want to say that I am Hindu and his post is a debasement of the Hindu religion and it's message.
    Really? That is what I was thinking aswell, because I have a really close friend that's Hindu, and she always speaks about her religion to me.
    She hardly mentioned anything of this kind to me:confused:
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    She deserves better than you if she is truly as awesome as you make out. If her caste really bothers you, you shouldn't be with her, considering two people on here have at least presented you with evidence from your own religion that it is fine to be with her, evidence you should already know if your religion means so much to you but still it bothers you because you want to be superior. You should dump the poor girl instead of stringing her along as you clearly look down on her because of her caste. Considering she ticks all your other boxes and sounds like a pleasant human being it really shouldn't be an issue. You should dump her so she can find someone who really loves and appreciates her and you can go off and find some other woman who is the same caste as you and lets you brag about how ****ing superior you and your family are.
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    (Original post by claret_n_blue)
    I am in my second year of uni and she is in her first. We both like each other a lot and both are Hindu. One reason I'm kind of besotted with her is that I didn't really find anyone in first year, and this year I've changed and she has responded to my change really well. She ticks all of my boxes in the sense that she is pretty, Hindu, Punjabi, clever, understands her religion, traditional, everything really (bar one or two). Some of the boxed she doesn't tick (i.e she's not vegetarian) doesn't matter as she is so respectful of me being vegetarian, she won't eat meat near me, no matter how much I tell her it's fine if she wants. Everything is more or less 'perfect', there's just one thing that's niggling me. She is not my caste. In Hinduism, my caste (Brahmin) is the highest and hers is fairly low.

    My mum was a Brahmin and so was my Grandma and so that means for 2 generations I am "pure" Brahmin. My sister is also going to marry a Brahmin.

    Although there is nothing wrong with this girl's caste being low, as my uncle married someone of a similar caste to this girl and that Aunt is a brilliant Aunt. In fact, her whole family is amazing. It's just the fact that I love this aspect of being a "pure Brahmin" and the status it has with my extended family and other members of our community. I want to carry that on. It was one of the main things I was going to look for in a wife, yet this girl I have found isn't Brahmin. I know you probably shouldn't think like that in these modern times but I really can't help it. I like this girl, a lot, in fact I think I love her, yet there is this one thing that is stopping me from moving things forward with her.

    As well as this, the area in Punjab where she is from is different to the area where I am from and it seems like when she speaks Punjabi (due to the different dialect), it sounds like she can't really speak it and it is slightly embarrassing for me if I bring home a girl who can't speak her mother tongue. One thing I wanted from my children was to A) Speak good Punjabi (as most kids nowadays can't speak their own language) and B) Have a good grasp of Hinduism. Although this girl will be able to help with the second part, she won't be so good on the first, especially if we speak different dialects.

    What do you guys think? What should I do?
    Dont hindu's shower in cow urine ?
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    (Original post by claret_n_blue)
    I am in my second year of uni and she is in her first. We both like each other a lot and both are Hindu. One reason I'm kind of besotted with her is that I didn't really find anyone in first year, and this year I've changed and she has responded to my change really well. She ticks all of my boxes in the sense that she is pretty, Hindu, Punjabi, clever, understands her religion, traditional, everything really (bar one or two). Some of the boxed she doesn't tick (i.e she's not vegetarian) doesn't matter as she is so respectful of me being vegetarian, she won't eat meat near me, no matter how much I tell her it's fine if she wants. Everything is more or less 'perfect', there's just one thing that's niggling me. She is not my caste. In Hinduism, my caste (Brahmin) is the highest and hers is fairly low.

    My mum was a Brahmin and so was my Grandma and so that means for 2 generations I am "pure" Brahmin. My sister is also going to marry a Brahmin.

    Although there is nothing wrong with this girl's caste being low, as my uncle married someone of a similar caste to this girl and that Aunt is a brilliant Aunt. In fact, her whole family is amazing. It's just the fact that I love this aspect of being a "pure Brahmin" and the status it has with my extended family and other members of our community. I want to carry that on. It was one of the main things I was going to look for in a wife, yet this girl I have found isn't Brahmin. I know you probably shouldn't think like that in these modern times but I really can't help it. I like this girl, a lot, in fact I think I love her, yet there is this one thing that is stopping me from moving things forward with her.

    As well as this, the area in Punjab where she is from is different to the area where I am from and it seems like when she speaks Punjabi (due to the different dialect), it sounds like she can't really speak it and it is slightly embarrassing for me if I bring home a girl who can't speak her mother tongue. One thing I wanted from my children was to A) Speak good Punjabi (as most kids nowadays can't speak their own language) and B) Have a good grasp of Hinduism. Although this girl will be able to help with the second part, she won't be so good on the first, especially if we speak different dialects.

    What do you guys think? What should I do?

    Defo tell her.
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    Run away and start a little family of your own m8 if your parents don't like her .
    If you really lover her and she really loves you everything will work out. The hindu caste system was a big blur to me b4, but after reading this thread i've kind of understood it a bit better . I have a feeling i'm going to be in the same boat as you soon m8 when i bring a white girl home !!!!!!!
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    (Original post by claret_n_blue)
    I am in my second year of uni and she is in her first. We both like each other a lot and both are Hindu. One reason I'm kind of besotted with her is that I didn't really find anyone in first year, and this year I've changed and she has responded to my change really well. She ticks all of my boxes in the sense that she is pretty, Hindu, Punjabi, clever, understands her religion, traditional, everything really (bar one or two). Some of the boxed she doesn't tick (i.e she's not vegetarian) doesn't matter as she is so respectful of me being vegetarian, she won't eat meat near me, no matter how much I tell her it's fine if she wants. Everything is more or less 'perfect', there's just one thing that's niggling me. She is not my caste. In Hinduism, my caste (Brahmin) is the highest and hers is fairly low.

    My mum was a Brahmin and so was my Grandma and so that means for 2 generations I am "pure" Brahmin. My sister is also going to marry a Brahmin.

    Although there is nothing wrong with this girl's caste being low, as my uncle married someone of a similar caste to this girl and that Aunt is a brilliant Aunt. In fact, her whole family is amazing. It's just the fact that I love this aspect of being a "pure Brahmin" and the status it has with my extended family and other members of our community. I want to carry that on. It was one of the main things I was going to look for in a wife, yet this girl I have found isn't Brahmin. I know you probably shouldn't think like that in these modern times but I really can't help it. I like this girl, a lot, in fact I think I love her, yet there is this one thing that is stopping me from moving things forward with her.

    As well as this, the area in Punjab where she is from is different to the area where I am from and it seems like when she speaks Punjabi (due to the different dialect), it sounds like she can't really speak it and it is slightly embarrassing for me if I bring home a girl who can't speak her mother tongue. One thing I wanted from my children was to A) Speak good Punjabi (as most kids nowadays can't speak their own language) and B) Have a good grasp of Hinduism. Although this girl will be able to help with the second part, she won't be so good on the first, especially if we speak different dialects.

    What do you guys think? What should I do?
    Leave her; she deserves far better and your priorities are in shambles.

    PS. You deserve every neg you get.
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    a bit drastic insomniacramblings.... LOOOL
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    (Original post by hamzazulfiqar)
    Dont hindu's shower in cow urine ?
    Don't muslims abuse their women, reject human rights, breed hatred and intolerance and kill innocent people?
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    (Original post by Bright.Inspiration.)
    Don't muslims abuse their women, reject human rights, breed hatred and intolerance and kill innocent people?
    You starting an arguement ? You fool i just heard someone telling my yall wash and bath in cow piss ? Absolute Inbred.
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    im a brahmin too, and you need to stop being so bloody high and mighty. were a bunch of teachers and priests ffs! nothing special. seriously who gives a **** about what caste you are anymore? thought that had died out (and rightly so). my dad would give me a smack if i looked down on people cos of their caste. its a disgusting system which punishes millions of innocent people for nothing but bad luck.

    only thing thats good about it is i can impress people by saying im related to Buddha
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    (Original post by hamzazulfiqar)
    You starting an arguement ? You fool i just heard someone telling my yall wash and bath in cow piss ? Absolute Inbred.
    You started it.

    And I'm not a Hindu.

    You caling me an inbred? Loool... its people in islam who agree with incest.

    If you don't want people to make bad comments about your religion, then learn to not say bad things about other peoples religions.
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    Awww poor little Indian thinks he is in a high caste. Well we British are the highest caste we are the conquerors of your nation.
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    (Original post by Bright.Inspiration.)
    You started it.

    And I'm not a Hindu.

    You caling me an inbred? Loool... its people in islam who agree with incest.

    If you don't want people to make bad comments about your religion, then learn to not say bad things about other peoples religions.
    Did i state anything bad about there religion ? see this is where ignorant ***** like you seek attention. Its a fact that they bathe in cow urine... Im not the one that finds it bad YOU do.
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    I think you really need to look at the pros and cons here. This girl sounds pretty perfect and how likely is it that you're going to find someone even better, who you love too? This caste system is so old now and irrelevant and while you may think that it's nice to be 'pure', what does it really give you? It's just something that you can tell people but it doesn't make you better or your blood-line any better. Isn't it better to find someone who you love than to base whether your relationship continues or not on something which really doesn't have any place in modern society and which means pretty close to nothing now?

    Moreover, the whole dialect thing shouldn't be that important either - the important thing in a relationship is that you can communicate in a language and understand each other. I think it's sad how much importance is put on the mother tongue. Yeah, it's nice to know but it's not the end of the world if you don't. I'd rather be with someone I love and can talk to in one language than someone who I may not love and may just settle for later on who knows my mother tongue. Because really, you have no way of knowing if you'll ever meet someone who will tick off all of your boxes later on...and no offence, the boxes you have left are rather silly to be so important.

    Oh, and I'm hindu too, so I understand this caste system and I'm not just talking about it without trying to understand where you're coming from. I just think it's not really a massive deal and tbh, you're being very unfair to this girl. You love her yet you're considering not being with her because of something to do with the occupation of her ancestors and that's so ridiculous.
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    (Original post by Keckers)
    The Hindu caste system is something that should be in the public eye far more.

    It ruins far more lives than extremist Islam. I'd go as far to say that it's disgusting.
    And it's the reason why well off Indian folk are totally fine with extreme poverty in India. The caste system combined with "karma" somehow justify it in their minds that the poor are supposed to be poor. Result: zero guilt. How convenient.
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    (Original post by internetguru)
    Awww poor little Indian thinks he is in a high caste. Well we British are the highest caste we are the conquerors of your nation.
    :sparta:
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    Sucgp a system of caste ranking sounds a bit racist to me. You should follow your heart, especially in the UK you'll probably find it hard to find anyone better.

    I mean would you rather be with her from a lower caste but suit each other perfectly. OR have a brahmin gf whose personality you dont like.
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    (Original post by claret_n_blue)
    It's just the fact that I love this aspect of being a "pure Brahmin" and the status it has with my extended family and other members of our community. I want to carry that on.

    What do you guys think? What should I do?
    I'm punjabi, I wouldn't equate "religious" views with the man made social hierarchy caste system.

    Stop being so archaic, even people in india aren't this backwards, times they are a-changin'.

    Tell her how you feel.. so that she doesn't waste her time hanging around for you, she deserves better.

    And since you love ticking all the boxes, might I suggest *drumroll*

    shaadi.com
    :bhangra:

    good luck trying to lead a fulfilling life.
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    What if this was an upper class English boy declaring that he finds working class or chav girls undateable?

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