[Metrobeans]

B420 - The Hunter Games Bill 2012, Lipvig

An Act implementing a new national sporting event for prisoners to take part in for the public's entertainment

BE IT ENACTED by The Queen's most Excellent Majesty and by Steve the homeless ex-barman who lives down the street, by and with the advice and consent of the Commons in this present Parliament assembled, as well as a chimpanzee who's banana we stole, in accordance with the provisions of the Parliament Acts 1911 and 1949, and by the authority of the same, as follows:-

1. The Establishment of "The Hunter Games"

(1) Britain shall be divided into 12 regions, namely:
London
Scotland
Wales
Northern Ireland
Yorkshire
Cornwall
North West England
Norfolk, Suffolk and Essex
South East England
The Midlands
All Islands (regardless of wether they also fall into another region)
Milton Keynes (because screw it, it's Milton Keynes)
(2) Each of these regions will select two prisoners, one boy and one girl prisoner, to travel to London. These prisoners will be chosen through picking their names out of a hat (preferably a black one, but not a magicians).
(3) The chosen prisoners will be transported to London for extensive training lasting 7 days, as well as undertaking interviews with Ant and Dec.
(4) The prisoners will then be sent to one of the following four arena's, chosen for being highly dangerous to any British person:
A desert
An ice desert
A jungle that looks surprisingly like a desert
An Argentinian football crowd (preferably in a desert)
(5) Here, the prisoners will fight with each other until they get bloody noses over the course of several days, until only one person, preferably missing a few limbs or at least their index finger, remains.
(6) This prisoner will be given a pardon for crimes committed prior to them being chosen for the games, but will be sentenced for life inprisonment without parole for the bloody nose(s) they are responsible for.

2. For the purposes of this act:

A prisoner will refer to any person currently serving a sentence in one of Her Majesty's Prisons, or anyone who watches the Jeremy Kyle show every day, as this also involves wasting their life away as well.

3. Enforcement and Punishment
(1) The enforcement of this Act should be the sole responsibility of the police forces of the United Kingdom.
(2) Violation of this Act should be punishable by a fine not exceeding £1,000,000,000,000,000 and/or imprisonment not exceeding 6 trillion years for any prisoner who refuses to tak part in the Games when selected.

4. Exemption
(1) Anyone who is not a prisoner will be exempt from taking part should their name be called.

5. Commencement, short title and extent
(1) This Act may be cited as the Hunter Games Act 2012
(2) This bill shall extend to the United Kingdom; and
(3) Shall come into force immediately following Royal Assent.

[tufc]

Is this some kind of barnetlad PMB?

[Stricof]

A joke Bill I assume, though it seems a bit dehumanising to me. Nay.

[Stiff Little Fingers]

The Monster Raving Loony Party starting to creep back into TSR I see. Ridiculous and slightly cruel - nay.

[nyan~]

This sounds incredibly similar to the Hunger Games made me laugh though

[SciFiRory]

joke or no, I find this somewhat disturbing as a concept so nay.

[Morgsie]

NO WAY and I urge my Liberal Democrat Colleagues to votes against this BAD Bill

[DebatingGreg]

Not only is this disturbing, but also blatant plagiarism. Nay.

[Life_peer]

It is indeed rubbish, but disturbing? Are we living in the same violent society whose members commit far more brutal acts every minute? I think this is less disturbing than black humour in many respects. Obviously nay, though.

[xXedixXx]

Boring and poorly formatted even for a joke bill.

[Mr Dangermouse]

Hahahahahahahahaha.

[Moleman1996]

Just to buck the trend its an aye from me

[Mr Dangermouse]

(Original post by nyan~)
This sounds incredibly similar to the Hunger Games made me laugh though

That's why it's called the hunter games.

[thunder_chunky]

Snore

[Lipvig]

(Original post by Mr Dangermouse)
That's why it's called the hunter games.

Indeed.

Also, how is it cruel? Is it the interviews with Ant and Dec? Because I'm sure we can make it Piers Morgan if necessary.

[JPKC]

Guys are being sticky about a joke bill. Oh dear.

Aye! British youth need the discipline that this Bill introduces.

[Moleman1996]

(Original post by Lipvig)
Indeed.

Also, how is it cruel? Is it the interviews with Ant and Dec? Because I'm sure we can make it Piers Morgan if necessary.

he's attacking it for cruelty and you're suggesting piers morgan? That's a worse punishment than the entire games thing!

I'd go for Steven Mulhern, give him his chance to shine on prime time TV

[Lipvig]

(Original post by Moleman1996)
he's attacking it for cruelty and you're suggesting piers morgan? That's a worse punishment than the entire games thing!

I'd go for Steven Mulhern, give him his chance to shine on prime time TV

No but you did give me an idea - Penn and Teller.

[Moleman1996]

(Original post by Lipvig)
No but you did give me an idea - Penn and Teller.

i think that'd be a decent idea! If Penn got ill though youd have difficulty getting Teller to interview them!

[Lipvig]

(Original post by Moleman1996)
i think that'd be a decent idea! If Penn got ill though youd have difficulty getting Teller to interview them!

In that event we'll get Stephen Fry to join him.