Results are out! Find what you need...fast. Get quick advice or join the chat
Hey! Sign in to get help with your study questionsNew here? Join for free to post

URGENT French!!!

Announcements Posted on
    • Thread Starter
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Please check as I am in desperate need of a B grade!

    I attend a large high school called Painsley. The school itself consists of two main buildings and a seperate science lab. It has a wide range of facilities, including a swimming pool, gym and even a astroturf. It's rather suave.
    In total, I study thirteen subjects. My favourite of which is defiantly biology as I find the anatomy of animals fascinating. I absolutely despise maths as my maths teacher seems to dislike me. He always gives me detention, it sucks.

    J'assiste à un grand lycée appelé Painsley. L'école elle-même se compose de deux bâtiments principaux et un laboratoire de la science séparée. Il dispose d'un large éventail d'installations, y compris une piscine, un gymnase et même un astroturf. C'est plutôt suave.
    Au total, j'étudie quatorze sujets. Ma matière préférée est la biologie défi que je trouve l'anatomie des animaux fascinants. Je suis absolument mépriser maths comme mon professeur de mathématiques semble à moi-même n'aime pas. Il me donne toujours en détention, Ça craint.

    ................................ ................................ ................................ ................................ ................

    Currently, I am at school so I have lots of spare time. I am a very sporty person and am part of the school swimming team. I enjoy training with the team. Normally, I swim with my swimming club on Saturday morning and then on Thursday go to the pool with my friends. I look forward to watching the olympic 2012 swimming team.

    Actuellement, je suis à l'école et j'ai donc beaucoup de temps libre. Je suis une personne très sportive et je suis partie de l'équipe de natation scolaire. J'aime m'entraîner avec l'équipe. Normalement, je nage avec mon club de natation le samedi matin, puis le jeudi aller à la piscine avec mes amis. Je suis impatient de regarder les Jeux olympiques 2012 équipe de natation. L'équipe anglaise vont trop-forte!

    ................................ ................................ ................................ ................................ ................

    Last year, I completed one week of work experience in a lawyers office in London. Over the week I had the oppurtunity to go to court, attend meeting and go on business lunches. It was very interesting! The lawyers were all really friendly and gave me lots of advice on how to become a lawyer. I really enjoyed the change of scenery.

    L'année dernière, j'ai terminé une semaine de l'expérience de travail dans un cabinet d'avocats à Londres. Au cours de la semaine, j'ai eu l'occasion d'aller au tribunal, assister à la réunion et aller sur les déjeuners d'affaires. C'était très intéressant! Les avocats étaient tous très sympa et m'a donné beaucoup de conseils sur la façon de devenir un avocat. J'ai vraiment apprécié le dépaysement.

    ................................ ................................ ................................ ................................ ................

    In August I will receive my GCSE results (hopefully they will be good!). I have already applied for sixth form were I will be studying for my A levels. I have chosen to study my four favourite subjects: biology, chemistry, physics and maths.

    En Août je vais recevoir mes résultats du GCSE (j'espère qu'ils seront bons!). J'ai déjà postulé pour sixth form ont été je vais étudier pour mes niveaux A. J'ai choisi d'étudier mes quatre sujets de prédilection: la biologie, la chimie, la physique et les mathématiques.

    I would like this job because I believe I am the most suited candidate. I am a smart person, who would make a real good cop. Also I am quite poor, so would find this job a big financial help.

    Je voudrais que ce travail parce que je crois que je suis le candidat le plus adapté. Je suis non bon chic bon genre bourge, qui ferait un très bon keuf. J'ai une galère de thune, donc serait trouvé cet emploi d'une grande aide financière.

    ................................ ................................ ................................ ................................ ................

    When I am older I would like to be an experimental scientist. I would like to travel the world and discover the cures to diseases. But don't worry, I would be doing this job for atleast the next two years before I quit.

    Quand je suis âgé, je voudrais être un scientifique expérimentale. Je voudrais voyager à travers le monde et découvrir les remèdes aux maladies. Mais ne vous inquiétez pas, je ferais ce métier pendant au moins les deux prochaines années avant de quitter.




    I will pay in rep and love!
    • 3 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jazziecreative)
    ...
    At the risk of sounding like a teacher ... could I possibly ask how much of this is taken from Google Translate? There are quite a few indicators throughout the text that it wasn't even checked before being posted on here. While other people on this forum may disagree with me on this, I'd say that it's pretty bad form to expect people to correct work that you didn't produce yourself. Please excuse any rudeness, but it's an increasingly common thing in this forum ... (To be clear, though, I'm not the person who negged you!)

    That said, I can offer you a couple of pointers. There are also a few calques - phrases that work in English but here are translated a bit too literally into French. For instance, 'niveaux A' is better rendered as niveaux avancés; 'separate science lab' has come out in French as the equivalent of 'lab for separated sciences'. More generally, you need to read the text through to see how much of it makes sense in French: for instance, 'ma matière préférée est la biologie défi que je trouve l'anatomie' is somewhat confused as a construction.

    I hope this helps, and I'm sorry to nag at you. Feel free to reply if anything isn't clear.
    • 9 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Have to agree with the guy above when I say this looks massively Google-ated.
    • 10 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Languages Nutter)
    At the risk of sounding like a teacher ... could I possibly ask how much of this is taken from Google Translate? There are quite a few indicators throughout the text that it wasn't even checked before being posted on here. While other people on this forum may disagree with me on this, I'd say that it's pretty bad form to expect people to correct work that you didn't produce yourself. Please excuse any rudeness, but it's an increasingly common thing in this forum ... (To be clear, though, I'm not the person who negged you!)

    That said, I can offer you a couple of pointers. There are also a few calques - phrases that work in English but here are translated a bit too literally into French. For instance, 'niveaux A' is better rendered as niveaux avancés; 'separate science lab' has come out in French as the equivalent of 'lab for separated sciences'. More generally, you need to read the text through to see how much of it makes sense in French: for instance, 'ma matière préférée est la biologie défi que je trouve l'anatomie' is somewhat confused as a construction.

    I hope this helps, and I'm sorry to nag at you. Feel free to reply if anything isn't clear.
    Very clearly google translate, otherwise the typo of 'defiantly' instead of 'definitely' wouldn't have resulted in 'défi' in French :rolleyes:

    Sorry but this just takes the piss. I and most forum members are happy to help you improve your French, but we're not a free homework machine. If you can't be bothered to do your own work then why should we?
    • Thread Starter
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Languages Nutter)
    At the risk of sounding like a teacher ... could I possibly ask how much of this is taken from Google Translate? There are quite a few indicators throughout the text that it wasn't even checked before being posted on here. While other people on this forum may disagree with me on this, I'd say that it's pretty bad form to expect people to correct work that you didn't produce yourself. Please excuse any rudeness, but it's an increasingly common thing in this forum ... (To be clear, though, I'm not the person who negged you!)

    That said, I can offer you a couple of pointers. There are also a few calques - phrases that work in English but here are translated a bit too literally into French. For instance, 'niveaux A' is better rendered as niveaux avancés; 'separate science lab' has come out in French as the equivalent of 'lab for separated sciences'. More generally, you need to read the text through to see how much of it makes sense in French: for instance, 'ma matière préférée est la biologie défi que je trouve l'anatomie' is somewhat confused as a construction.

    I hope this helps, and I'm sorry to nag at you. Feel free to reply if anything isn't clear.

    Hi
    Don't worry about the nagging, I know I am pretty appalling at french! I am just in desperate need of a decent final grade as my current c/w results go - A*, A, B and D (would like to boost up the D :L) I'd say about 20% was from google translate, 20% made of the top of my head and 60% text book phrases. I hope you don't mind but I've taken another look at it and think I have re-eddited it to the best of my abilities but would really appreciate it if you took a look!



    J'assiste à un grand lycée appelé Thomas Alleynes. L'école se compose de deux bâtiments principaux et un laboratoire. Il dispose d'un large éventail d'installations, y compris une piscine, un gymnase et même un astroturf. C'est plutôt suave.
    Au total, j'étudie quatorze sujets. Ma matière préférée est la biologie que je trouve l'anatomie des animaux fascinants. Je suis absolument mépriser maths comme mon professeur de mathématiques semble à moi-même n'aime pas. Il me donne toujours en détention, Ça craint.


    Actuellement, je suis à l'école donc j'ai temps libre. Je suis une personne très sportive et je suis partie de l'équipe de natation scolaire. J'aime m'entraîner avec l'équipe. Normalement, je nage avec mon club de natation le samedi matin, puis le jeudi aller à la piscine avec mes amis. Je suis impatient de regarder les Jeux olympiques 2012 (unsure how to say 2012 in french?) équipe de natation. L'équipe anglaise vont trop-forte! (kick ass?)


    L'année dernière, j'ai terminé une semaine de l'expérience de travail dans un cabinet d'avocats à Londres. Au cours de la semaine, j'ai eu l'occasion d'aller au tribunal, assister à la réunion et aller sur les déjeuners d'affaires. C'était très intéressant! Les avocats étaient tous très sympa et m'a donné beaucoup de conseils sur la façon de devenir un avocat. J'ai vraiment apprécié le dépaysement. (depaysement = fancy word?)


    En Août je vais recevoir mes résultats du GCSE (j'espère qu'ils seront bons!). J'ai déjà postulé pour sixth form ont été je vais étudier pour mes niveaux avances. J'ai choisi d'étudier mes quatre sujets de prédilection: la biologie, la chimie, la physique et les mathématiques.


    Je voudrais que ce travail parce que je crois que je suis le candidat le plus adapté. Je suis non bon chic bon genre bourge, qui ferait un très bon keuf (french slang?). Aussi, j'ai une galère de thune, donc serait trouvé cet emploi d'une grande aide financière.

    Quand je suis âgé, je voudrais être un scientifique expérimentale. Je voudrais voyager à travers le monde et découvrir les remèdes aux maladies. Mais ne vous inquiétez pas, je ferais ce métier pendant au moins les deux prochaines années avant de quitter.

    Thanks for your time!
    Rep & good karma,
    Jz
    • Thread Starter
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by RichyFrench)
    Have to agree with the guy above when I say this looks massively Google-ated.
    Ungooglated Take another look?
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Is this for GCSE? If it is, dont overcomplicate things. All i did was say simple sentences with a few connectives and i got an A.
    Only say something if you are confident it is right. Dont try complex sentences as you will just get mixed up as you wont know half the grammar rules yet!
    Keep it simple but accurate
    • 9 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jazziecreative)
    Ungooglated Take another look?
    I'm not in the mood to actually go through it, but what I will say is: To get the best marks you have to include the subjunctive, pluperfect, and other sneaky grammar techniques. The actual content is pretty irrelevant.

    pour que je puisse = so that I can..
    il faut que je sois = it is necessary that I be

    Slipping in a couple of those will make a significant impression on the person marking this.
    • 16 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Hey, I'm only doing A-level French but I'll try my best to help out here.

    Quand je suis âgé ...I think it would be better to say "Quand j'aurai vingt (or whatever age) ans"

    Je voudrais que ce travail parce que je crois que = I would like that this job because I believe.. = doesn't make sense

    Les avocats étaient tous très sympa = sympas

    I would be better to say: "Je vais à un grand lycée que s'appelle"

    2012= deux mils douze (I think!)

    But there are many more mistakes in here that I am not sure how to correct! Sorry for not being any more help!
    • 10 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by x-Sophie-x)
    Les avocats étaient tous très sympa = sympas Not necessarily, with sympa being the shortened form of 'sympathique' the agreement isn't compulsory.

    I would be better to say: "Je vais à un grand lycée qui s'appelle" qui = subject; que = object

    2012= deux mille douze (I think!)
    Just a couple of little things I spotted
    • 16 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by xmarilynx)
    Just a couple of little things I spotted
    Thanks for correcting me!
    • 3 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by RichyFrench)
    I'm not in the mood to actually go through it, but what I will say is: To get the best marks you have to include the subjunctive, pluperfect, and other sneaky grammar techniques. The actual content is pretty irrelevant.

    pour que je puisse = so that I can..
    il faut que je sois = it is necessary that I be

    Slipping in a couple of those will make a significant impression on the person marking this.
    I'd be careful here: if anything, the content is one of the most important elements in the exam. For instance, in AQA's writing task 'content' is responsible for half of all the available marks, while in their speaking task 'communication' can get you up to ten marks. Furthermore, the marks for content and communication directly affect the range of marks that you can receive for any of the other criteria (see AQA's specification for more information).

    You're quite right to say that good grammar is needed for the best marks, but that doesn't mean that you can get away with not focusing on content too. Sorry for the nitpicking - hope this helps
    • Thread Starter
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by x-Sophie-x)
    Hey, I'm only doing A-level French but I'll try my best to help out here.

    Quand je suis âgé ...I think it would be better to say "Quand j'aurai vingt (or whatever age) ans"

    Je voudrais que ce travail parce que je crois que = I would like that this job because I believe.. = doesn't make sense

    Les avocats étaient tous très sympa = sympas

    I would be better to say: "Je vais à un grand lycée que s'appelle"

    2012= deux mils douze (I think!)

    But there are many more mistakes in here that I am not sure how to correct! Sorry for not being any more help!

    Many more ? :O
    • 16 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jazziecreative)
    Many more ? :O
    Unfortunately, yes. It still seems very google translated.
    • Thread Starter
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by x-Sophie-x)
    Unfortunately, yes. It still seems very google translated.
    Okay, I may go for a whole rewrite then. Thanks for the help though!
    • 16 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jazziecreative)
    Okay, I may go for a whole rewrite then. Thanks for the help though!
    No problem. And sorry for not being of more help.

    I think your problem is that you are using too complex French so there are many mistakes. And a lot of what you are talking about is irrelevant.

    You need to simple it down a bit, and make sure everything you are writing answers the question! It's only GCSE, you want to have the marks the examiners are looking for. I'm surprised your school hasn't told you already!

Reply

Submit reply

Register

Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?
  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?
  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. By joining you agree to our Ts and Cs, privacy policy and site rules

  2. Slide to join now Processing…

Updated: April 10, 2012
New on TSR

GCSE mocks revision

Share your study tips

Article updates
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.