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How to tell your gf's mother that you're uncomfortable with her?

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    (Original post by YankeeUK2008)
    She already knows. She thinks she is just being jokingly flirty.
    Yea just keep her up to date with it all
    don't confront the mother at all just endure until your gf see's it as excessive

    otherwise your going to make it really awkward for yourself
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    (Original post by YankeeUK2008)
    She already knows. She thinks she is just being jokingly flirty.



    Why not? What does that say?
    It is not bad to talk with her at all, but implying all the things he told you and all the stuff he did to you then when you talk with her for 2 hours it's like telling her that you support her dreams about you (instead of "rejecting" her)
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    (Original post by YankeeUK2008)
    Lately I've been really getting the impression that my girlfriends mother has been hitting on me. She's been dropping me hints and being really flirty. She also has a history of getting together with her daughters boyfriends, yes it's that bad.

    Should I confront her about this? What would happen if I pulled her aside and talked to her about this?
    Just ignore it.
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    (Original post by YankeeUK2008)
    ???
    This is a blatant troll. "My gf's mum is practically feeling me up, is this normal?"
    If it is true, which I seriously doubt, let your gf know her mum's a whore.
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    Sounds like a script from a porn movie. OP, you for real? How hot is she?
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    (Original post by YankeeUK2008)
    Lately I've been really getting the impression that my girlfriends mother has been hitting on me. She's been dropping me hints and being really flirty. She also has history of getting together with her daughters boyfriends, yes it's that bad.

    Should I confront her about this? What would happen if I pulled her aside and talked to her about this?
    4 questions:

    1) Who told you that? I'm assuming your girlfriend?

    2) What did your girlfriend do when her mother 'got with her previous boyfriends'?

    3) Also why does your girlfriend allow you be near her mother if she knows her own mother is an apparent dirty ass cougar?

    4) And again, is she hot?
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    First off this is not a troll post. This has been going on for quite some time, only its now been getting a bit worse as of late. I've been dealing with this for the past month as it has grown into something more zany.

    The answers:

    1.) The sisters (She has two) have been telling my gf that ever since we got together. They had to deal with their p.o.s bf who ended up being with their mom. She has a habit of "stealing" her daughters bfs.

    2.) She has never taken a guy from my gf. I am her first serious bf.

    3.) She trusts me and thinks that her mother can do that to her own sisters, but not her, because she is the "good" daughter aka, the one that has followed the rules in life and didn't end getting knocked up.

    4.) She is OK. Not a really hot cougar like Courtney Cox, but more of an aging (really aging) beauty queen.

    The reason why I am asking this is because I didn't know if these were all subtle hint or blatant hit ons? I know this isn't normal per se, but at the same time I chalked it all up to her flirty nature and drunken mood.

    It is not bad to talk with her at all, but implying all the things he told you and all the stuff he did to you then when you talk with her for 2 hours it's like telling her that you support her dreams about you (instead of "rejecting" her)
    She has issues and I just consoled her about some of them. She does have a lousy husband, and I took pity on her and listened to her. We've chatted for hours on her porch before when I go over to their house and do yard work for them. I go over there and it's just me, her and her husband. While he is out doing errands or working on the other side of the yard, we sit and chat on her porch for quite some time.

    The thing is, I am wondering if this is what spurred this behavior lately. Did I do wrong by actually listening and filling a void maybe?
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    bumpity bump
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    Hello? Where is everyone?
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    Have you clearly given signals that you are not interested? Like tried avoiding her, being standoffish, make it clear that you are not up for flirting?

    If you talk to your gf about it, it will upset her, unnecessarily so if it isn't the case. If you ask her mother about her agenda, she will most likely deny it once she realizes you can't be fooled. Just really take a stand, try to not be alone with her, if she makes a joke with a clear innuendo, you can say "I don't think that's appropriate".

    Edit: I just read your last post. It's clear that she is unhappy in life (which is the case of many 'cougars'), but it is not normal to spend that much time with your gfs mum. I understand that you are consoling her and that's that, but you need to stop it. You can't fix her life, she needs to do that for herself. She can divorce the no-good husband, but decisions like that are major and not really something a young guy like you can 'provoke'. Most wives talking about divorcing their husbands can do so for 10 years without actually doing it. She needs a therapist and as long as you sit with her for 'support', you're just helping her ignore her problems. Stop hanging out with her mother alone altogether - be with your gf whenever you're at her house.
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    so your GF's mum regularly 'gets with' with her daughter's boyfriends as you put it.

    And you girlfriend is defending her mothers behaviour as 'flirty and nothing meant by it'

    is she slow on the uptake?
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    My gf is shy and believes she is the only one not screwed up amongst her siblings so her mom wouldn't try anything.

    I have stopped spending time with her but not avoided her to where she gets a clue or anything.

    Basically I was slow on the uptake thinking that maybe what she was dishing were just compliments or a drunken mood. Now I know it could be something more.
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    I get a positive rating but no more comments?
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    Bump

    Ice where are you?
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    (Original post by YankeeUK2008)
    First off this is not a troll post. This has been going on for quite some time, only its now been getting a bit worse as of late. I've been dealing with this for the past month as it has grown into something more zany.

    The answers:

    1.) The sisters (She has two) have been telling my gf that ever since we got together. They had to deal with their p.o.s bf who ended up being with their mom. She has a habit of "stealing" her daughters bfs.

    2.) She has never taken a guy from my gf. I am her first serious bf.

    3.) She trusts me and thinks that her mother can do that to her own sisters, but not her, because she is the "good" daughter aka, the one that has followed the rules in life and didn't end getting knocked up.

    4.) She is OK. Not a really hot cougar like Courtney Cox, but more of an aging (really aging) beauty queen.


    The reason why I am asking this is because I didn't know if these were all subtle hint or blatant hit ons? I know this isn't normal per se, but at the same time I chalked it all up to her flirty nature and drunken mood.



    She has issues and I just consoled her about some of them. She does have a lousy husband, and I took pity on her and listened to her. We've chatted for hours on her porch before when I go over to their house and do yard work for them. I go over there and it's just me, her and her husband. While he is out doing errands or working on the other side of the yard, we sit and chat on her porch for quite some time.

    The thing is, I am wondering if this is what spurred this behavior lately. Did I do wrong by actually listening and filling a void maybe?
    1) What did her sisters do when their own mother got with their boyfriends? Unacceptable behaviour. I mean that's the crazy kinda stuff you see in pornos not real life, that's surely out of bounds, the mother hooking up getting with her daughter's boyfriends I mean.

    2/3)Ha, your girlfriend arrogantly believes her mother wouldn't do the same thing she done to her sisters, just because you're her first serious boyfriend and the youngest out of all the 3 daughters I presume, just tell her not to let her guard down. That's the reason why she isn't taking the situation as serious as you. She has this "it can happen to everyone else but it can't happen to me" mentality. Sit down and talk to her about this. Ask her how she really feels about her mother, she could just be putting up a front to not scare you away or seem insecure about herself. She might even scold her mother behind your back.

    4) So in other words she isn't exactly a MILF, but the kind where you could see yourself getting together with her if you were drunk, high etc.

    Overall as has been said, you need to keep away from her as much as possible if this bothers you that much. You also need to tell her straight up to cut out the flirtatious behaviour. You need to be direct and straight to the point, don't beat about the bush. If all else fails (after discussing with your girlfriend and her mother about her conduct towards you) then simply learn to just ignore the mother. Because if its completely impossible to avoid her or she just relentlessly flirts not matter what, persistently ignoring her will probably get the message across to that you aren't interested.

    Good luck.
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    Confront. Be real. Stop pandering about the issue and the next time she says something flirty say 'please stop saying things like that as it makes me feel uncmfortable'.

    DONE.
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    i wouldnt if it turns out she isnt youre going to make an innocent situation very awkward...
    if she is well then
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    (Original post by cl_steele)
    i wouldnt if it turns out she isnt youre going to make an innocent situation very awkward...
    if she is well then

    yeah but does the things she said sound innocent to you? Especially coming from someone with a history of infidelity.

    We're talking about an alcoholic flirt with some serious issues.
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    Lately though she's pretty much stopped and everything's been fine, but I am worried that someday she could start up again. She's made it apparent that she's attracted to me.

    Should I still be cautious around her? Should I still avoid being alone in a room with her? Could those feelings she has be rehashed?

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Updated: April 14, 2012
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