how many dates before you should discuss exclusivity?

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There is not one answer, depends on so many things.

well, with my ex.. we had sex before, and he was never clear with me.. it was a game for him. after he saw me and another guy talk he then said your'e my girlfriend. Guys are odd. we were together 3 years.
Now were seperated and I'm dating a new guy and we haven't discussed the 'boyfriend,girlfriend' topic however i would leave sex till after you were official, having a bond is what makes it amazing and if its before you have that bond (made it official) its like your'e just giving his cake and he's eating it.It's not all about sex. and if he really likes you..he would wait.

Reply 22

BeDirectWomen

Original post by Anonymous

I was just wondering what you guys think about dating. If youve been dating someone how many dates should you go on before you discuss the idea of exclusivity?

Who says you have to become exclusive? Not everyone wants a monogamous relationship. Some people prefer non-monogamy and like to remain non-exclusive and date multiple people.

Original post by Anonymous

And how do you know when dating has turned into a relatonship?

All romantic/sexual relationships are relationships. You're mistakenly believing that a relationship isn't a relationship unless it's monogamous. But any interaction, whether it's a one night stand, an open relationship, etc counts as a type of relationship. Just because a relationship isn't exclusive doesn't mean it's not a relationship. What you should have asked was 'how do you know when dating has turned into a monogamous relationship?

Original post by Anonymous

And should sexual activity come before or after you are exclusive?

Always BEFORE. You need to know whether you are sexually compatible before becoming exclusive with someone. You should 'try before you buy' so to speak. What happens if you become exclusive, only to find out you are not sexually compatible? You can avoid that happening by having sex before becoming exclusive so you can see if you are a sexual match or not.

Reply 23

Viridiana

I've been seeing a girl regularly for 3 months (like 1-4 times a week) and we're kind of-sort of committed - we do have the exclusivity and we're on the verge of beginning to call ourselves a couple.

Reply 24

Rakas21

For me it's a couple of dates although i did have a girl ring me up an hour after meeting her and tell me that i should ask her to be my girlfriend. That being said i'd add the caveat that if a girl was getting with other guys at the same time as me then i'd not want her to be my girlfriend as it indicates a lack of emotional investment and commitment on her part, i shouldn't need to tell her we're exclusive for her not to screw around.

Sex comes within the first month, i'd not wait longer. It's not about using a girl for sex, it's that i'm an adult and won't be in a kiddie relationship (plus it indicates a lack of trust).

how many dates before you should discuss exclusivity?

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