Should I drop out of Cambridge?

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By their own admission their interviewing isn't perfect.

Good advice, listen to this.

Incorrect, but what of it? Look after your own interests. You lucked in, and should make the most of the opportunity -- not because of some misplaced guilt and certainly not at the expense of your mental well-being.

Cambridge has a very high suicide rate and I'm alarmed by your OP. Book yourself in for some professional advice. Nothing is worth severe depression or suicide. The "shame" of "failing" your academic commitments is neither here nor there, and neither is whether you deserve your place. The only thing that truly matters is that you are happy in yourself.

If you're not, get help and fix it.

Source?!

Reply 61

nulli tertius

Original post by Junaid96

Source?!

Suicides tend to go in clusters. Cambridge had a bad patch in 2010. Oxford did in the early 1990s. People got worked up about student suicides around 2000 but research at that time showed little or no difference in student suicide rates from the general population.

Reply 62

sohoscribbler

Almost anyone who goes to university feels the same. You are honest enough to express your thoughts. Many others don't.

Perhaps another way to consider your situation is to think which of your dons deserves to be there.

Reply 63

loveheartsandall

Hi, I'm hoping you're feeling better but just to add to what everyone else has already said,
Please stay at Cambridge and enjoy it as much as you can!
I really think dropping out would be a disservice to all those people who didn't get into Cambridge. Lots of people would love to be in your position so be glad and appreciate that you have a place at Cambridge. No pressure or anything!
Just try your best. Even if you don't pass or whatever, at least you tried right?
Good luck

Reply 64

Chubasco

I really think dropping out would be a disservice to all those people who didn't get into Cambridge. Lots of people would love to be in your position so be glad and appreciate that you have a place at Cambridge. No pressure or anything!

Yeah, great advice that: base your decision on how people who didn't get into Cambridge might feel if you dropped out, not on what's best for you :rolleyes:

I know you're trying to be supportive, but being told you should be grateful to be a student at Cambridge is just another layer of pressure that the OP doesn't need. As a Cambridge student who's been very close to dropping out at times, stuff like that (other people's envy/Cambridge lust) just made me feel selfish and even more of a failure for thinking of dropping out. I'm not saying that the OP should drop out, in fact I think there are many avenues to explore before considering dropping out, but if she were to drop out, she shouldn't be made to feel guilty about it - Cambridge isn't for everyone, and it takes courage to admit that and move on. Although OP, if you're reading this, I'm not saying you should drop out, just that you shouldn't worry about what other people might think of the decisions you make, as they're very personal and what's right for you might not be right for other people

Original post by -jessica

I thoroughly do not deserve to be there - I'm not that clever (I have no idea why they even gave me an offer) and I don't do nearly enough work. I haven't started any vacation work yet and I go back in 11 days. I could try and blame this on depression/eating disorder but everyone has problems. I don't know why I haven't done it, I plan to and then inadvertently avoid it until I forget about it, then panic and decide I can't do it, then give up. Repeat.
It's completely my own fault that I'm in this situation. I don't think I am mentally or emotionally capable of coping at Cambridge. It's intense, everyone is super intelligent (apart from me) and I don't fit in anywhere. I was too scared to join anything so I don't do anything fun either. Before going back last term I was practically suicidal, and I'm scared I'm going to be like that again in a few days.
I need to sort myself out, and I tried the counselling service but it hasn't helped, its done the opposite.

I feel awful that someone who could have had my place didn't get in because of me, and here I am completely wasting the opportunity. but it's actually too late now to probably even pass. I don't know what to do... if I drop out I don't know what I'll do either. But at least then I won't be wasting anyone's time/money anymore.

Sorry for such a long post.

Hi, I hope you're feeling better now and that coming back to Cambridge hasn't been as bad as you feared. I would really recommend doing two things: 1) talking to your doctor about this (if you haven't already done so, it's a good idea that you do, and if you have already done so, then they need to know that you're not feeling any better so that they can plan any treatment that you might need) and 2) talking to your tutor and DoS about how you feel. I know that it might seem embarrassing, but they will have talked to lots of students in your position before, and should be able to give you tips on how to revise effectively, how to deal with exam term stress etc. I put off talking to my tutor about my health problems because I was too embarrassed, but I wish I'd mentioned it earlier as he had lots of advice. Your tutor, for instance, might even be able to arrange for you to take your exams in college if they thought that that would be helpful for you. And your DoS might be able to arrange extra supervisions to help you with parts of the course that you find difficult and to help you build up your confidence.

I know you said that the counselling service didn't help, but they also have various one-off sessions/workshops that might be useful http://www.counselling.cam.ac.uk/studentcouns/studentgroups

One of the most useful tips that I've been given, motivation-wise is to not feel guilty about the things that I didn't do, but to be pleased for those that I did. Say you only read 1 chapter of a book, it's better to be pleased that you did that, rather than guilty that you didn't read the whole book, if that makes sense.

I hope this helps, feel free to PM me if you need anything/just want to chat.

Reply 65

mournfulpirate

Original post by Junaid96

Source?!

Perhaps they means high relative to other universities, it's a very small number so nothing substantial anyway. No point even mentioning it if OP hasn't.