DO women expect to be chatted up in public places
Discuss issues that have a social and cultural impact, including but not limited to issues such as racism, teenage pregnancies, the social impact of religion, and the state of the education system.
| Announcements | Posted on | |
|---|---|---|
| TSR launches Learn Together! - Our new subscription to help improve your learning | 16-05-2013 | |
-
- Reputation:
- Thread Starter
- Banned
- Posts: 866
DO women expect to be chatted up in public placesLike Gyms, supermarkets, train stations etc or do they think it is creepy and/or innappropiate.
I often see it in my gym where some guys seem to turn up jsut to chat up women on the treadmills. It has happened to me also that a girl has come over and stood next to me and started curling weights and then asked me if she was doing it right, i just shrugged my shoulders- tbh I didnt know if she was being flirty and expected some slick repartee' back from me or genuinely didnt know what to do but i was in the middle of a heavy set and couldnt really help her.
Does anyone feel this level of flirty dialogue is unnecessarry in places like the above and there is a time and place for it (ie in a bar, club, students union etc) or are happy to flirt with members of the opposite sex wherever they see them?Last edited by I-Am-A-Tripod; 12-04-2012 at 23:14. -
- Reputation:
- TSR Legend
- Location: The Shire
Re: DO women expect to be chatted up in public placesI reckon most women's responses would be:
Hot guy -> delighted
Average guy -> flattered
Unattractive guy -> creeped out.
Obviously this is a bit shallow, but chatting someone up on sight alone is also a bit shallow, and besides, I'm pretty sure it would be the same sort of scenario if the genders were reversed.
EDIT: Of course it should be noted that different women will have different ideas of what "hot", "average" and "unattractive" mean.
In terms of whether they expect to be chatted up, I think generally the answer is no. Especially in the gym. My initial thought was horror at the idea of someone talking to me when I'm all red and sweaty, but then I really thought about it, and I still think my first analysis was correct. Although a woman who is feeling unattractive is probably less likely to realise she's being chatted up.Last edited by Jelkin; 12-04-2012 at 22:55. -
- Reputation:
- Thread Starter
- Banned
- Posts: 866
Re: DO women expect to be chatted up in public places(Original post by Jelkin)
I reckon most women's responses would be:
Hot guy -> delighted
Average guy -> flattered
Unattractive guy -> creeped out.
Obviously this is a bit shallow, but chatting someone up on sight alone is also a bit shallow, and besides, I'm pretty sure it would be the same sort of scenario if the genders were reversed.
EDIT: Of course it should be noted that different women will have different ideas of what "hot", "average" and "unattractive" mean.
In terms of whether they expect to be chatted up, I think generally the answer is no. Especially in the gym. My initial thought was horror at the idea of someone talking to me when I'm all red and sweaty, but then I really thought about it, and I still think my first analysis was correct. Although a woman who is feeling unattractive is probably less likely to realise she's being chatted up.
Good to know women are as shallow as us
But dont women find it a bit irrating when they are doing something? - i know if im going to the gym , im going for a serious sweaty workout, not for casual flirting. -
- Reputation:
- Respected Member
- Location: England
- Posts: 211
Re: DO women expect to be chatted up in public placesTo be honest, I don't really mind it - kind of a compliment to be honest. The only time its ever creepy is when a car slows down to go beside you or this one time when I was cornered in Poundland of all places, lol!
-
- Reputation:
- Thread Starter
- Banned
- Posts: 866
Re: DO women expect to be chatted up in public placesSo for you, location is all important, discount shops and roadside is a no-no(Original post by MovieMoments)
To be honest, I don't really mind it - kind of a compliment to be honest. The only time its ever creepy is when a car slows down to go beside you or this one time when I was cornered in Poundland of all places, lol!
what about gyms, marks and spencer? -
- Reputation:
- Respected Member
- Location: England
- Posts: 211
Re: DO women expect to be chatted up in public placesYou take life as it comes, surely. Its a way of meeting new people and its generally a laugh (as long as one of the two people do no trip the crazy warning). However, if you see a woman who is obviously stressed/freaking out, not not approach - same as anyone it is not the best idea. Although I'm sure you know that yourself.(Original post by I-Am-A-Tripod)
But dont women find it a bit irrating when they are doing something? - i know if im going to the gym , im going for a serious sweaty workout, not for casual flirting.
-
- Reputation:
- TSR Legend
- Location: The Shire
Re: DO women expect to be chatted up in public placesOh yeah, of course. Very irritating. BUT not if it's a man she finds attractive. I'm sure it would be the same for you, yes? If someone taps you on the shoulder when you're in a hurry, and you're annoyed, but you turn around to a stunning vision of pulchritude*, won't you suddenly perk up and not mind so much?(Original post by I-Am-A-Tripod)
Good to know women are as shallow as us
But dont women find it a bit irrating when they are doing something? - i know if im going to the gym , im going for a serious sweaty workout, not for casual flirting.
The "flattered" reaction probably requires a more attractive man at the gym/when a woman is very busy than if she is wandering about town bored. (P.S. Sorry for stereotyping, sisters, feel free to correct if you think I've got it wrong!)
*word of the day! Means beauty
-
- Reputation:
- Respected Member
- Location: England
- Posts: 211
Re: DO women expect to be chatted up in public placesNo problem(Original post by I-Am-A-Tripod)
So for you, location is all important, discount shops and roadside is a no-no
what about gyms, marks and spencer? Good luck in my opinion!
-
- Reputation:
- TSR Legend
- Location: The Shire
Re: DO women expect to be chatted up in public placesI don't think the guy in Poundland went wrong with his choice of location ... by the sounds of things his behaviour was rather off-putting!(Original post by I-Am-A-Tripod)
So for you, location is all important, discount shops and roadside is a no-no
what about gyms, marks and spencer? -
- Reputation:
- Peer Of The TSR Realm
- Posts: 1,581
Re: DO women expect to be chatted up in public placesI've never been chatted up so I can't really discuss how it feels but I certainly wouldn't expect anything- I'm usually focused on whatever I'm doing when I'm out and assume others are too.
I have noticed the unfair double standards when it comes to making advances- that anyone unnattractive or average looking is assumed to be creepy and pervy whereas often they are nicer and more genuine than their aesthetically pleasing counterparts. -
- Reputation:
- Thread Starter
- Banned
- Posts: 866
Re: DO women expect to be chatted up in public placesTo be honest, not really, unless she was seriously hot and tapped me on the shoulder saying "you are so fit take me into the changing rooms right now and give me a seeing to " (which would be an ego booster) i probably wouldnt break my set. I mean i you can have pointless small talk with anyone anytime cant you?(Original post by Jelkin)
Oh yeah, of course. Very irritating. BUT not if it's a man she finds attractive. I'm sure it would be the same for you, yes? If someone taps you on the shoulder when you're in a hurry, and you're annoyed, but you turn around to a stunning vision of pulchritude*, won't you suddenly perk up and not mind so much?
The "flattered" reaction probably requires a more attractive man at the gym/when a woman is very busy than if she is wandering about town bored. (P.S. Sorry for stereotyping, sisters, feel free to correct if you think I've got it wrong!)
*word of the day! Means beauty
Last edited by I-Am-A-Tripod; 12-04-2012 at 23:12. -
- Reputation:
- TSR Legend
- Location: The Shire
Re: DO women expect to be chatted up in public placesIf you spend all your days making small talk with hotties, then good for you! Some of us have to take what we can get(Original post by I-Am-A-Tripod)
To be honest, not really, unless she was seriously hot and tapped me on the shoulder saying "you are so fit take me into the changing rooms right now and give me a seeing to " (which would be an ego booster) i probably wouldnt break stride. I mean i you can have pointless small talk with anyone anytime cant you?
-
- Reputation:
- Thread Starter
- Banned
- Posts: 866
Re: DO women expect to be chatted up in public placesHa! not really, but im crap with gym small talk anyway. "so err, you do pilates an stuff do you ..?" But im george clooney from oceans 11when ive had a few drinks in me, so bars are my natural habitat(Original post by Jelkin)
If you spend all your days making small talk with hotties, then good for you! Some of us have to take what we can get
-
- Reputation:
- Overlord in Training
- Posts: 2,202
Re: DO women expect to be chatted up in public placesThe gym is a land of strange rules, female gym users perving on the hot gym instructor is par for the course, whereas male gym users perving on female gym users is of course absolutely forbidden.
Elsewhere I guess it depends on the girl and the level of creepy factor the man manages to exude. -
- Reputation:
- Thread Starter
- Banned
- Posts: 866
Re: DO women expect to be chatted up in public placesyeh thats what i think, would rep if had any left(Original post by thompsonic7)
I've never been chatted up so I can't really discuss how it feels but I certainly wouldn't expect anything- I'm usually focused on whatever I'm doing when I'm out and assume others are too.
I have noticed the unfair double standards when it comes to making advances- that anyone unnattractive or average looking is assumed to be creepy and pervy whereas often they are nicer and more genuine than their aesthetically pleasing counterparts. -
- Reputation:
- Respected Member
- Location: England
- Posts: 211
Re: DO women expect to be chatted up in public placesYeah, God I've been trying to find the conversation trascript that I sent to my phone - yeah it was that funny, lol. Two guys called Phil and D who came up to me, saying something along the lines of 'Sorry babe but my man D over here just saw you and knew that he had to have you.' I struggled soo hard not to laugh in his face and saved it for the Wilkinsons next door.(Original post by Jelkin)
I don't think the guy in Poundland went wrong with his choice of location ... by the sounds of things his behaviour was rather off-putting! -
- Reputation:
- Thread Starter
- Banned
- Posts: 866
Re: DO women expect to be chatted up in public placesYes, but the girls have to pay an extra 15 pounds an hour for the priviledge.(Original post by MancStudent098)
The gym is a land of strange rules, female gym users perving on the hot gym instructor is par for the course, whereas male gym users perving on female gym users is of course absolutely forbidden.
And in my gym some guys have become experts of chatting up gym women, im sure some of these muscle bound donkeys join the zumba classes for one thing. -
- Reputation:
- Banned
- Posts: 1,936
Re: DO women expect to be chatted up in public placesNo, its irritating.(Original post by I-Am-A-Tripod)
Like Gyms, supermarkets, train stations etc or do they think it is creepy and/or innappropiate.
I often see it in my gym where some guys seem to turn up jsut to chat up women on the treadmills. It has happened to me also that a girl has come over and stood next to me and started curling weights and then asked me if she was doing it right, i just shrugged my shoulders- tbh I didnt know if she was being flirty and expected some slick repartee' back from me or genuinely didnt know what to do but i was in the middle of a heavy set and couldnt really help her.
Does anyone feel this level of flirty dialogue is unnecessarry in places like the above and there is a time and place for it (ie in a bar, club, students union etc) or are happy to flirt with members of the opposite sex wherever they see them?
