Results are out! Find what you need...fast. Get quick advice or join the chat
Hey there Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

DO women expect to be chatted up in public places

Announcements Posted on
    • 6 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jelkin)
    I reckon most women's responses would be:

    Hot guy -> delighted
    Average guy -> flattered
    Unattractive guy -> creeped out.

    Obviously this is a bit shallow, but chatting someone up on sight alone is also a bit shallow, and besides, I'm pretty sure it would be the same sort of scenario if the genders were reversed.

    EDIT: Of course it should be noted that different women will have different ideas of what "hot", "average" and "unattractive" mean.

    In terms of whether they expect to be chatted up, I think generally the answer is no. Especially in the gym. My initial thought was horror at the idea of someone talking to me when I'm all red and sweaty, but then I really thought about it, and I still think my first analysis was correct. Although a woman who is feeling unattractive is probably less likely to realise she's being chatted up.
    I absolutely agree with this; it's not right, no, but it's true!

    In general, I really don't think there's anything wrong with someone chatting someone up wherever the hell they want to. As with anywhere, as long as the 'chatter' can have the common sense to realise when the 'chattee' doesn't want the attention, and when to leave(!) then there's no harm.

    I think that if people firmly restrict a bit of flirting to places like bars/clubs only, it's at risk of being seen as something smutty (for want of a better word), when generally it's just harmless fun.
    • 2 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by effofex)
    I would. Invasion of my personal space.
    And if she was attractive, it wouldn't be?
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by I-Am-A-Tripod)
    Ha! not really, but im crap with gym small talk anyway. "so err, you do pilates an stuff do you ..?" But im george clooney from oceans 11when ive had a few drinks in me, so bars are my natural habitat
    An ex convict?
    • 5 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Obadetona)
    And if she was attractive, it wouldn't be?
    A lot of these comments do prove that men mostly care about looks.
    • 10 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Obadetona)
    And if she was attractive, it wouldn't be?
    Regardless of her attractiveness - if I am busy or occupied with something it would be an invasion of my public space.

    Supposing I was running to catch the bus/tram/tube and some woman starts feeling me or making flirtatious gestures it would just be annoying.
    • 19 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jelkin)
    I reckon most women's responses would be:

    Hot guy -> delighted
    Average guy -> flattered
    Unattractive guy -> creeped out.

    Obviously this is a bit shallow, but chatting someone up on sight alone is also a bit shallow, and besides, I'm pretty sure it would be the same sort of scenario if the genders were reversed.

    EDIT: Of course it should be noted that different women will have different ideas of what "hot", "average" and "unattractive" mean.

    In terms of whether they expect to be chatted up, I think generally the answer is no. Especially in the gym. My initial thought was horror at the idea of someone talking to me when I'm all red and sweaty, but then I really thought about it, and I still think my first analysis was correct. Although a woman who is feeling unattractive is probably less likely to realise she's being chatted up.
    *in the gym* Hi, there sweetie!
    • 4 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jelkin)
    I reckon most women's responses would be:

    Hot guy -> delighted
    Average guy -> flattered
    Unattractive guy -> creeped out.

    Obviously this is a bit shallow, but chatting someone up on sight alone is also a bit shallow, and besides, I'm pretty sure it would be the same sort of scenario if the genders were reversed.

    EDIT: Of course it should be noted that different women will have different ideas of what "hot", "average" and "unattractive" mean.

    In terms of whether they expect to be chatted up, I think generally the answer is no. Especially in the gym. My initial thought was horror at the idea of someone talking to me when I'm all red and sweaty, but then I really thought about it, and I still think my first analysis was correct. Although a woman who is feeling unattractive is probably less likely to realise she's being chatted up.
    I only repped you're comment because of the avatar, you could say some of the sickest most degenerate stuff and I would still pos rep you because of the hamster ahaa.
    • Thread Starter
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Livingstone)
    An ex convict?
    with a silver tongue
    • 19 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by MovieMoments)
    To be honest, I don't really mind it - kind of a compliment to be honest. The only time its ever creepy is when a car slows down to go beside you or this one time when I was cornered in Poundland of all places, lol!
    This rings rape as hell! You better ignore them and stay the hell away of them when they do that.
    • 2 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by effofex)
    Regardless of her attractiveness - if I am busy or occupied with something it would be an invasion of my public space.

    Supposing I was running to catch the bus/tram/tube and some woman starts feeling me or making flirtatious gestures it would just be annoying.
    Clearly, you didn't understand my point at all. I said just because she's unattractive.

    (Original post by Chloe xxx)
    A lot of these comments do prove that men mostly care about looks.
    • 6 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by thompsonic7)
    I've never been chatted up so I can't really discuss how it feels but I certainly wouldn't expect anything- I'm usually focused on whatever I'm doing when I'm out and assume others are too.

    I have noticed the unfair double standards when it comes to making advances- that anyone unnattractive or average looking is assumed to be creepy and pervy whereas often they are nicer and more genuine than their aesthetically pleasing counterparts.
    I think it all comes down to the human instinct of who would make a good mate.

    Someone attractive = likely to have good offspring, someone unattractive = bad offspring.

    Not that it makes it more/less acceptable, but I think that is the sole reason why different assumptions are made.
    • 3 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SoulfulBoy)
    This rings rape as hell! You better ignore them and stay the hell away of them when they do that.
    Too damn right! Lol
    • 29 followers
    Online

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jelkin)
    Hot guy -> delighted
    Average guy -> flattered
    Unattractive guy -> creeped out
    Nailed it.

    (Original post by MovieMoments)
    I was cornered in Poundland of all places, lol!
    ..something to tell the grandkids

    (Original post by A100whoo)
    I'd prefer to be chatted up outside clubs/bars whatever. It seems more genuine, and thoughtful. Not just some drunk guy who decided he wants to chat me up.
    There you have it guys.. neither day to day situations, nor in places which are ostensibly about/synonymous with meeting people but the few mins or so before a girl passes from one domain into another.. and people say women are hard to please :rolleyes:

    (Original post by ..lauren)
    It is totally unnecessary .. but that's just the slight feminist within me
    Comments like this are why most self proclaimed feminists are safe from ever being approached by a guy with any sense of discernment

    (Original post by Pink Gravy)
    Train stations are alright, but don't talk loud :mad:
    Projecting your voice/body language are important aspects of attraction.. do you really want some n00b coming up to you and mumbling in your ear? ..or do you mean like shouting/making a scene?
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by effofex)
    But in Kuwait, Norway, Iceland and Yemen it will not be.
    Norway and Iceland? Why wouldn't checking up women be acceptable in Scandinavia?
    • 10 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by aneemilie)
    Norway and Iceland? Why wouldn't checking up women be acceptable in Scandinavia?
    They are both northern European nations with quite a Protestant culture - flirtation in public spaces is considered rude and an invasion of someone's personal space.
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Obadetona)
    Don't think any guy would be creeped out just because a girl's unattractive. Men are very different to women when it comes to things like this.
    Speak for yourself captain desperate. If a butters girl approaches me ima avoid.
    • 2 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by sexbo)
    Speak for yourself captain desperate. If a butters girl approaches me ima avoid.
    Obviously I'm not saying I'm gonna bang every girl that comes up to me, but I wouldn't be creeped out by it.
    • 6 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by sexbo)
    Speak for yourself captain desperate. If a butters girl approaches me ima avoid.
    lol real peak
    • 2 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Hectorious)
    I think you're over exaggeration, a persons image reflects who they are as well. Besides the point of talking is to get to know them. Are Men suppose to wear blindfolds every time they meet a women?
    No, course not! I'm just saying that if you decide to chat someone up based on looks alone, it's a shallow sort of attraction - I'm not saying it's bad, but it's hardly a profound aspect to draw you to someone. I was just pointing out that it works both ways before someone responded to my post with "women are so shallow" or something of that ilk.

    (Original post by Wenger)
    Wouldn't this apply in any situation?
    Probably a lot of situations, although I don't think many women would be creeped out in places where they might expect attention (e.g. on a night out).

    (Original post by Obadetona)
    Don't think any guy would be creeped out just because a girl's unattractive. Men are very different to women when it comes to things like this.
    I know - thought about writing that but it seemed unnecessarily detailed so I just wrote "the same sort of thing" because I figured men probably wouldn't be that chuffed about being chatted up by someone they found unattractive.
    • 2 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SoulfulBoy)
    *in the gym* Hi, there sweetie!
    ... and shiny. Did I forget shiny? I think I did. Red, sweaty and shiny. I am quite a catch.

    (Original post by prog2djent)
    I only repped you're comment because of the avatar, you could say some of the sickest most degenerate stuff and I would still pos rep you because of the hamster ahaa.
    :smug:

Reply

Submit reply

Register

Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?
  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?
  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. By joining you agree to our Ts and Cs, privacy policy and site rules

  2. Slide to join now Processing…

Updated: April 15, 2012
New on TSR

Have a UCAS application question?

Post it in our dedicated forum

Article updates
Useful resources
Reputation gems:
You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.