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Keeping an independant social life when you have a GF

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Reply 20
Take her on a pussy patrol with your mates
Reply 21
Your girlfriend needs to make some friends. :bebored:I don't think it's fair on you that you have to cancel plans with your friends because your girlfriend is going to be lonely.
lol, you're in quite a tricky situation. We always hear how girls are like "don't choose a guy over your friends!", well I think the same applies for guys.

So if you want to keep both your friends AND your girlfriend, you need your girlfriend to become more social and like someone said, push her out of her comfort zone.
Original post by Steezy
The problem is that we make these plans in like the middle of the week... Whereas other plans prop up on the day, so I can't ever really see a time I can do it without blowing her off....


Surely it's not impossible to arrange to see your friends a week or so in advance?
Reply 23
Original post by Rascacielos
Surely it's not impossible to arrange to see your friends a week or so in advance?


A week? I thought you meant a couple of days.... Which I guess answers your question - yes it's very difficult. Guys don't plan... Things just happen.
Original post by Rascacielos
Surely it's not impossible to arrange to see your friends a week or so in advance?


That's not how it works. Fair enough a big night out guys might plan ahead, but generally a night out drinking a night at a mates house is arranged spontaneously. Nine times out of ten when I go out it's because my mate has text me either the day before or even that day asking if i fancy going out for a drink. I mean seriously imagine if op went to his guy mates and said, "guys from now on if you want to see me for a drink you need to give me minimum 1 weeks notice so i can discuss it with my GF". His mates would probably tear him apart for being so under the thumb. I know I would!
Reply 25


It seems that your girlfriend always wants to hang around with you because she has no friends and has no friends because she always hangs about with you. If you tell that you can't be her social life and that she actually needs to get out there and do some socialising in order to make friends then hopefully she'll get it. It's not fair that you're being forced to give up your night with your mates just because she doesn't have any friends.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by Steezy
A week? I thought you meant a couple of days.... Which I guess answers your question - yes it's very difficult. Guys don't plan... Things just happen.


Ok, then. Seems like you're not making it very easy for yourself.

Your girlfriend is going to quickly get annoyed if you start letting her down every other week to spend time with friends, just like your friends would if you started cancelling on them. Both deserve the same amount of respect. I'm not saying that she has a right to spend every minute with you and I'm certainly not suggesting that you should do that but I think it's unfair to promise to spend time with anyone (girlfriend, boyfriend, friend, family) and then suddenly change your mind.

Not being able to organise yourself isn't a trait that is just there and that you just accept. If you've got this problem with your girlfriend, then you could put a bit of effort into sorting your social life out.
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 27
Original post by Steezy
My GF and I have been going out for just over a year. She's not from this country so doesn't have a lot of friends (she has some in London and who she works with but not really a dependable social life).

We've spent almost every weekend together since we started going out.

The problem is that I find it hard to do things I used to do, like go round a mates for the night to chill with other male friends (i.e. not a girl-type atmosphere) because I feel bad blowing her out on a Friday or Saturday night.

Also when we go to pubs with friends she takes aaaages to drink, so when everyone wants to move on to a different place, it puts me in a difficult position where I'm trying to hurry her up without pissing her off and trying not to look like my GF is difficult and I'm under the thumb.

For example, my friend has invited me round tonight to chill with friends I haven't seen for a while (all guys) but I've arranged to see the GF (as with every Friday night). Now I feel really awkward - I'd like to see my GF, but at the same time I haven't seen my friends for ages and would be cool to do that. But I know if I go to my friends, my GF will have nothing to do.

Help!



It wouldn't be a good idea to bail on her tonight but you have mentioned guys not planning until the last minute... why don't YOU organise a night out? Say to your mates that you cant come out tonight but you should all go out next friday instead. Then tell your girlfriend a week in advance that you are going out with the guys next week - this way you aren't going to bail on her as you have told her AND she has time to sort something out for herself. If she could sort herself out before your relationship, she can sort herself out now - you are her boyfriend, not her father looking after her and so shouldnt have to protect her all the time. If you don't make time for your mates you will end up losing them and resenting her because of it - HAVE SOME FUN!!!!!

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