At what age did you stop asking your parents

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For some reason, I still do. I doubt they'd ever say no so I just do it out of habit really, but I think my parents would still be upset if I just walked out of the house without telling them where I was going. Obviously if I'm using the car, I'll ask.

Reply 81

Barghest

Haven't stopped asking yet as I'm only 15. ^^'

Most things they say yes.

Reply 82

Rascacielos

Original post by YB101

Best Answer Yet!

However, suppose I did want it to be a routine thing, is it up to him to say it should or shouldn't? I love music festivals and gigs (which is another thing he can't stand me going to for some reason :/) and it's only ever 1 festival a year. I plan on going annually (Glastonbury next year fingers crossed) and I don't think he should really have a say in it seeing as it doesn't involve him in any way and i'm soon to be leaving home.

He can arrange a holiday for whatever date he wants, I don't think it's because of that reason to be honest.

Did something happen last year that might have given your Dad reason to distrust you?

Reply 83

hannaaahlima

i'd just leave it this time...you are leaving for uni anyway. my parents were very strict when i lived at home, i had to come home by 1 maybe 1:30. but i don't mind because i only spend 3 months a year with my parents since they live in brazil and i study here, and i don't want to spend this time arguing with them, since we don't see each other very often. but when i'm in england they don't mind because they say it's safer and apparently they trust me now. but it has probably to do with the fact that even if they wanted to, they couldn't control me from there.

and when i'm in brazil i don't mind not being able to go out because i don't have any friends there anymore. i only have my boyfriend and we usually just stay at home, which is all i want during summer holidays.

if i lived with my parents i would definitely do something about this situation, but since i don't live with them anymore, i don't mind because i know i will come back to england and do anything i want to :biggrin:

so, my advice now is just leave it, you will have complete freedom when you leave home for uni. try to enjoy their company now.

Reply 84

YB101

Original post by Rascacielos

Did something happen last year that might have given your Dad reason to distrust you?

Not at all :/ I was so suprised at how easily he gave in last year. But I've spoken to him earlier on today and although he didn't seem to happy about it, I think I got my way in the end. He told me he didn't want me doing anything until after exams and I explained that it was after xD
I told him I'm old enough to make my own decisions and told him I wasn't backing down from it. He didn't say no, so I'm taking it as a yes :smile:

I have a set of parents who just find it hard to say Yes sometimes xD

Reply 85

natty_d

Original post by YB101

My parents are black, a lot of people are suprised that I "get away" with a lot of things right now, even though I don't believe anything I do is bad or wrong in anyway.

To be more specific, they are Nigerian

You don't get to choose your parents tbh - so if they are mega nice, take good care of them - it's a plus that they're nigerian :h:

Funnily enough my dad (the nigerian) is my more easy going parent but there you go :awesome:

Reply 86

youbonkers

I'm 17 and always ask permission if I'm going anywhere, even if it's just to my boyfriend's house for a couple of hours :s-smilie:

My view is, I'm still living in their house and seeing as they're giving me money towards uni, if my mum says 'No I don't think you should go out tonight, I think you should stay and do revsion' then it's only fair. Obviously if I've asked a long time in advance and she's said yes then she won't go back on it. I've just got used to not making definite plans until I've okay'd it with my parents.

Reply 87

sweeter than a cherry pie

Well, I guess there was a significant change when I was 16 and I suddenly became a lot more independent, but I still appreciate their support with things, if not their permission, as such.

Reply 88

PinkMobilePhone

Volunteer Team

I stopped asking when I moved out (4 days before my 19th birthday). Prior to that, the thought of doing something without my mother's permission would have terrified angels! My mam was....well....the strict sort!

Reply 89

Little Hobbit

I'm 21, I don't remember when I stopped asking permission. As someone said before I think it's situation dependent rather than age dependent. Even now I sometimes still ask permission if I can do something if there is a chance it will clash with family plans or be inconvenient for them in some way (eg if I want to go out after uni and they've made a nice dinner, if we may be visiting relatives or if I have housework responsibilities :tongue:

). I don't think they've ever said no, but since I still live in their home I think it's only courteous.

Most of the time I don't ask though but I always let them know I'm going out and where I'll be.

Reply 90

kersteelou

I'm 18 and I still ask for everything. Though it's mostly a way of informing them than actually getting permission. It's more of a "dad, I'm going out with friends tomorrow, be back at 11" but he does occasionally say "no you can't, ____ and ____ are coming over for dinner". Which is okay by me as long as he gives me enough time to change plans.
I still ask for 'big things' like going away for a week to a friends house in Summer and stuff like that. I like to let them have the illusion of control, it makes them easier to deal with.

Reply 91

Origami Bullets

I think it was a gradual thing between the ages of about 16 and 18, although nights out were probably the last thing I stopped asking about, and by the time I'd got to 18 I was informing my mum that I'd just bought plane tickets to Australia and would be buggering off for six months!

Reply 92

LettersFromTheSky

I still have to ask to do things, and a lot of the time I get told I can't, my mum says whilst i'm under her roof its her rules which is fair enough :/. Although its not as if she would 'let' me move out permanently even though I live in halls for uni and I will be 20 soon. I'm not even allowed to go for a sleepover at my friends houses..oh yeah I'm asian, that explains it :tongue:

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 93

RibenaRockstar

Original post by kersteelou

This.
My mum is mega control freak about whether things are on the family diary in the hallway, and if it isn't then she gets annoyed - but I've started putting 'out' on there and clearing it with her separately. She says yes to most things, mainly because things I know I won't be allowed I don't consider. For example in year 11 everyone was talking about whether they had Reading tickets or not, and I got home and had a sulk about how it was horrible to hear that when I wouldn't be allowed to go - and she was just like 'of course you wouldn't!'.

Reply 94

x-pixie-lottie-x

i still ask as much as i ever have...
its always been along the lines of... "what are we doing on such and such?" if the answer is nothing i say "well im....." its usually "why?" and then i say because "im doing such and such"

x

Reply 95

JollyGreenAtheist

Sometimes I still ask, as a courtesy, but we both know the answer is a yes, unless it's something really contentious like starting my own heroin business. Sometimes I just inform them of where I'm going; I tend not to just leave unannounced.

Probably at age 15 there stopped being a debate over when I was coming home and who I was going with. I guess it's because I've always looked older than I really am, and I'm 6'3", so I don't get much bother.

That said, I always text one of them when I'm on my way home from a night out, if I'm in a fit state to (which, admittedly, isn't frequent).

Reply 96

Alt__x

I'm seventeen, and last year I went to my first music festival. This year I'm going on a clubbing holiday and generally just told them. I tend to just tell them I'm going out, and just check they don't have anything planned. I'm going to university in September, I hardly think my parents have the right to stop me doing anything. The only thing me and my dad have disagreements about is me going out in my car. I passed my test in January, and I still have to ask for permission to drive places, I couldn't just hop in my car and drive anywhere, which I guess is fair enough, I respect that I doesn't want me out driving like a knob at 2am and killing myself.

Reply 97

Horatio-

When I was 18 I started slowly telling my parents I was doing things as oppose to asking them.

Now a days I'm usually just like 'Mum/Dad I'm going ....' and they've kind of accepted it. At least that's how they seem. It's much easier when you're older, but also when you earn your own money and can get around. (Since I can drive now there's no worry about me walking about in the dark etc)

Reply 98

username612213

Original post by YB101

If you could do this or do that, ranging from the little things such as "can I go to the cinema" to "I'm going on holiday" or "I'm going to *insert big festival here*

I ask because I'm in a bit of a predicament

Last summer, when I was 17, I wanted to go to Reading Festival with my best friends. I've always loved the thought of them! At first it was a straight no from my dad (mums easier to persuade), but after a little bit of negotiation (and a cheeky lie), he said yes, HE EVEN PAID FOR MY TICKET AND TRANSPORT!

I had a blast, and said to myself i'd definitely go again with my best friend who couldn't go. Booked my ticket for 2012 and the other day I went to ask my dad if we had any holiday plan. I told him not to book anything on the weekend of the festival and he went balistic, telliing me i'm not going this year.

My genuine facial expresion = :eek:

It just doesn't make sense that he'd let me go out 17 but is so against the idea at 18 when technically i should be able to make decisions for myself.

Should I try and negotiate again or straight up tell him i'm going, baring in mind I leave home for uni 2 weeks later?
And at what age did you stop asking your parents for permission to do certain things?

Help me out please guys!

You need to talk with your Dad and figure out why he's acting like this. Other people are saying 'You're 18, you can do what you want' but seriously, suddenly hitting that age doesn't mean you suddenly can make all these decisions for yourself without telling and talking to people who should know. He's your Dad, disregarding him just because your 18 would ironically be a immature thing to do.

Maybe your Dad has something planned then? Who knows? Talk to him, see what he says.
Good luck! :smile:

Reply 99

HarveyCanis

Honestly never considered this. I guess about 15/16. If not earlier. Now, like many here I just say "I'm going *insert place here*, I'll be back about 12, bye". I can't really think of anything I couldn't do nowadays. You're really opened my eyes to just how much independence I have.