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How would you define "classy"?

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    A girl I know went for a drink with a male friend recently. Said male friend is seeing one of our mutual friends (been on several dates), and she asked him whether they were going to make it official or not. She mentioned her boyfriend and was saying that she knew after a couple of dates that he was the right person for her. In response to that her friend said "Yeah but you're easy. X is much classier than that".

    She was quite understandably upset, and I'm shocked that a modern man would have that point of view. There is nothing easy about a woman feeling sure that she wants to make it exclusive with someone after a couple of dates. So this situation got me thinking...Surely if a woman is sure about her feelings and where it is going, that is pretty classy? Why does this guy seem to think that suppressing romantic instincts and opinion, makes a woman "classier"? Does he want a woman, or a girl?
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    a woman who drives a Bentley and swallows
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    The opposite of cringe worthy. Respectable and respects herself are the main ones though I don't think women who have one night stands or don't 'wait' for sex are necessarily not classy
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    Asking to make it official after a few dates (I don't know how many) would seem a bit forward to me. I would wait until we've really become both lovers and friends and have had that bf/gf sex. It's also a matter of being emotionally close. He might have felt that she was just looking for a boyfriend. I don't know what he meant by 'easy', but if they haven't slept together, I assume he meant that she made it very easy for him. Guys don't necessarily want to work for a girl, but they want the kind of girl you have to work for. And perhaps your friend is not that girl. That may seem traditional, but as modern and cool it is for girls to be forward, guys looking for classy girls often want someone more laid back. May also be a combination of her style and way of carrying herself.
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    Educated, well-dressed, good manners/polite.
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    easy: ME
    xx
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    (Original post by Lucia.)
    She mentioned her boyfriend and was saying that she knew after a couple of dates that he was the right person for her. In response to that her friend said "Yeah but you're easy. X is much classier than that".

    So this situation got me thinking...Surely if a woman is sure about her feelings and where it is going, that is pretty classy? Why does this guy seem to think that suppressing romantic instincts and opinion, makes a woman "classier"? Does he want a woman, or a girl?
    It really depends on the context of his reference to being "easy" - whether he meant that she is easy in the sense that she is free and loose with her affections, or whether she is easy in that she is an easy-going, relaxed person when it comes to relationships.

    I don't really see how thinking someone is right for you early on makes you "easy" in the "slutty" (ugh that word) sense. However maybe he meant it like she is a "forward" person, open and pushy about her emotions, thoughts and feelings. Being classy is usually tied in to being reserved.. Modestly but attractively dressed, simple but polished hair and make-up, intelligent and not brash personality-wise. Pushing for exclusivity two dates in is pretty brash and forward, it's very early on after all. Waiting a few more dates before raising it as a topic of discussion would be a lot less pushy, and therefore, perhaps considered "classier". I don't think waiting is suppressing your emotions either, it's allowing yourself the time to actually think rationally and allowing yourself to get to know someone better than at face value.
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    (Original post by Lucia.)
    I'm shocked that a modern man would have that point of view
    Sounds like a modern muppet to me. Having no desire to commit early on/waiting an arbitrary period before committing has absolutely nothing to do with how classy you are! Not putting out straight away is more sensible than classy, although it may be correlated, and some guys may view relationship talk as synonymous with girls putting out. Some people get a strong sense the person is right for them early on, others may want security for peace of mind early on due to insecurity, or simply not wanting to miss a 'good catch'. This does not mean they are down-at-heel

    (Original post by Lucia.)
    Surely if a woman is sure about her feelings and where it is going, that is pretty classy?
    Indeed, it may be viewed as positive indicator, and will put a guy's mind at ease if he's dealing with a the kind of girl who could pretty much grab anyone, any time :cool:

    Personally I am a little 'difficult' when it comes to eager girls as I am both narcissistic/usually polygamous and a bit of a commitment phobe, so if I entered into a traditional dating situation I'd be glad of some breathing space, but I don't think of myself as typical, I think most (particularly young) guys would view a fond desire to form a lasting commitment as a charming boost

    (Original post by Aconcernedparent)
    Asking to make it official after a few dates (I don't know how many) would seem a bit forward to me. I would wait until we've really become both lovers and friends and have had that bf/gf sex
    Snap. Although as I've alluded to above/we've discussed previously it takes a pretty strong mind for a partner to be comfortable with the idea of 'seeing each other' on an regular/intimate basis in the absence of a bond of sexual exclusivity. To get to the point where you're having bf/gf sex and for neither to have been (quietly) yearning for that 'stamp' is highly unlikely

    (Original post by Aconcernedparent)
    Guys don't necessarily want to work for a girl, but they want the kind of girl you have to work for
    ..and, to a certain extent, compete for, or at least compete for the attention of, and go on to earn the adoration of. Top marks mon frere :top2:

    (Original post by ForKicks)
    Educated, well-dressed, good manners/polite.
    This, plus reasonably well spoken, holds herself a certain way, glows but never gloats (humility is a cornerstone of class), and demonstrates proportionate kindness/compassion but also firmness
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    Think of TOWIE/Desperate Scousewives/Made in Chelsea/Geordie Shore, and then imagine the complete opposite.
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    Thanks for the replies. Perhaps I did misinterpret. I think I can see the whole context a bit better now. I don't know her that well but I haven't experienced her to be that pushy, although I can see how that might come across.

    Oh dear makes me feel that I didn't her good advice because I may have jumped to a few conclusions. She's catholic anyway, so certainly sexually conservative. She didn't say she forced a conversation to make it official, just that she was sure she liked him by that point. I think they knew each other for a while before going on a few dates. But you're right. There are different ways of being easy. But wouldn't you say that, you can pursue something with someone when it feels right, without necessarily being perceived that way?
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    A classy woman for me can hunt down, pursue and devour a buffalo in minutes
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    (Original post by alawhisp)
    It really depends on the context of his reference to being "easy" - whether he meant that she is easy in the sense that she is free and loose with her affections, or whether she is easy in that she is an easy-going, relaxed person when it comes to relationships.
    I agree with your second paragraph, but tbh I think we both know what said guy in OP's post meant by 'easy'.
    I've never heard anyone describe someone as 'easy' and mean anything else; he would have described her as an easygoing, laid-back, chilled kinda girl if that was the case.
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    (Original post by Lucia.)
    Thanks for the replies. Perhaps I did misinterpret. I think I can see the whole context a bit better now. I don't know her that well but I haven't experienced her to be that pushy, although I can see how that might come across.

    Oh dear makes me feel that I didn't her good advice because I may have jumped to a few conclusions. She's catholic anyway, so certainly sexually conservative. She didn't say she forced a conversation to make it official, just that she was sure she liked him by that point. I think they knew each other for a while before going on a few dates. But you're right. There are different ways of being easy. But wouldn't you say that, you can pursue something with someone when it feels right, without necessarily being perceived that way?
    I think people misunderstood your title a little. If you'd just ask me what I think is classy, I'd mention a type of appearance, certain hobbies, how a woman carries herself etc. But the scenario you describe is different to that.
    The traditional meaning of 'easy' is someone who's sexually promiscuous/has low standards/doesn't value herself. Some would also extend that to kissing and making out, but it's rare in this day and age. The fact that she doesn't sleep around may make her less promiscuous, but it doesn't mean she is perceived that way. She may also be 'easy' in the sense that it is too 'easy' to get her. Some women take pride in not sleeping around, but would essentially give it up for anyone who is verbally very into her and offers her commitment worth nothing.
    I don't mean to step on any toes, but I know several sexually conservative girls whom give out their love and affection like candy. Some whom are actually virgins but still 'easy' in the sense that they are easy to date and easy to make fall in love with you. Some girls are so obsessed with locking the commitment down before sex, they appear to not even care what kind of guy they're dating (if they did care about his standard, they wouldn't suggest commitment before they knew him properly). That is a way of being 'easy' - pushing for a monogamous relationship with someone you barely know. Like I said, guys know that high quality girls usually don't offer themselves on a plate, and they rarely push a guy up in a corner when it comes to making it official.
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    Was he not joking? Im not saying that makes it acceptable, because if he upset her then he overstepped the line... but my boy mates will always make a throwaway comment about me being easy. It's just a response when the conversation is getting a bit serious and they come out with a 'yeh but you're easy' end of conversation type of jokey comment.

    It just seems like ab odd comment to be serious about given the context.

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