[NYprincessmaddie]

(Original post by Iron Lady)
Yes, if you're married and an appropriate age with a career.

Then again, I've never met a teenage mother so I don't know how people react.

There is no appropriate age, you will never be fully ready to have children.

However, there is an appropriate attitude. I suggest you grow up and change yours if you ever hope to bring up a child properly.

[Jeester]

(Original post by EffieFlowers)
That's a ridiculous thing to day. An awesome time at uni? Are you referring to the oh so crazy student lifestyle? Freshers and eating cornflakes from the box? Grow up a bit.

If you are referring to having an awesome time learning then I apologise. But I doubt you are.

I don't drink.
I'm in catered halls so cornflakes are provided in a little silo thing...
And I do not go clubbing.
I just love uni.
I took a gap year and missed doing uni work a lot.
I have also made loads of friends and got on to my JCR commitee and started playing more sports. (Squash)

Uni is great.
I would not enjoy it living away from halls (as I did last time I went to uni and subsequently dropped out).
I would not enjoy it with a child.

Maybe just me but a child now will probably (not definatly) ruin your life.

[hannaaahlima]

(Original post by NYprincessmaddie)
For idiots like yourself, yeah it does.

Im only 22 and I have a daughter, and guess what- she was planned. I was in a very happy relationship with my fiance and we decided the time was right. Unfortunately (and is with life) things went wrong and we had to break up.

But guess what? I have a lovely little girl. Sometimes she is a nightmare, but I am getting no better pleasure out of bringing up this little person and would do it again 10x over.

Plus, i'm safe in the knowledge that I'm not going to bring her up to be a idiot like your parents did so well with you. Applause to them.

If you planned her, that's even worse...it indicates immaturity. i mean, do you guys have any idea of how difficult it is to raise a human being? it is a beautiful thing to do, but it involves dedication and commitment for the rest of your life! you have so many things to live before having a baby, you can go to uni, make friends, travel, take a master's degree, go to parties, etc...why the rush to have a baby?!

why not wait until you have a good job, with a good salary, a nice house, married or living with a person who you know is always going to be there for you and is not just gonna break up with you. the experience of having a baby then is much better.

the question i always ask is...WHY THE RUSH? but the person i feel most sorry for is the baby.

unfortunately, one day you are going to regret not having all the life experiences you could have had.

[AverageExcellence]

You should have kept your legs closed

[wwelol]

ure an idiot for having a baby at 18
no senses watso ever
why didint u tell him to rap it up????

[coca]

[Popppppy]

(Original post by Kay26)
Hello just wanted advice really...

I recently found out that i'm pregnant (baby due mid December).
I'm finishing my A-levels and i'm due to start university in sept/oct this year.
I don't want to put it off another year as i've already retaken the year at college for my AS however I also don't want to have to take time away from the baby once he/she is born.

The father is around and although I haven't told my family, I believe they will be more than supportive once the initial shock is over! what is the best thing to do?!

I'm going to be taking psychology and was also wondering how many hours/ days i would be doing?
Thank you!

A girl from my year at school has given birth this year, she's in second year at uni. She took a total of 11 days off after the birth.
She is incredibly hardworking, juggling her degree, a job, raising her baby and planning a wedding.
So it's doable, but it won't be easy.

[NYprincessmaddie]

(Original post by hannaaahlima)
If you planned her, that's even worse...it indicates immaturity. i mean, do you guys have any idea of how difficult it is to raise a human being? it is a beautiful thing to do, but it involves dedication and commitment for the rest of your life! you have so many things to live before having a baby, you can go to uni, make friends, travel, take a master's degree, go to parties, etc...why the rush to have a baby?!

why not wait until you have a good job, with a good salary, a nice house, married or living with a person who you know is always going to be there for you and not just break up with you. the experience of having a baby then is much better.

the question i always ask is...WHY THE RUSH? but the person i feel most sorry for is the baby.

unfortunately, one day you are going to regret all the life experiences you didn't have.

1. Good job? My boyfriend was a solicitor. Yes, obviously he was older than me
2. Good salary? I think he had that covered
3. A nice house? Is a 2 bed flat in Kensington (London, not Liverpool) good enough for you? Yes, my fiance owned it.
4. Knowing her was going to be there for me....I was with him 6.5 years

Unfortunately, we couldn't see the future and know what was coming. But if you want to know what happened to cause us to break up. You will have to kiss my hiney.

[NYprincessmaddie]

(Original post by Popppppy)
A girl from my year at school has given birth this year, she's in second year at uni. She took a total of 11 days off after the birth.
She is incredibly hardworking, juggling her degree, a job, raising her baby and planning a wedding.
So it's doable, but it won't be easy.

She deserves a medal.

[NYprincessmaddie]

(Original post by hannaaahlima)
If you planned her, that's even worse...it indicates immaturity. i mean, do you guys have any idea of how difficult it is to raise a human being? it is a beautiful thing to do, but it involves dedication and commitment for the rest of your life! you have so many things to live before having a baby, you can go to uni, make friends, travel, take a master's degree, go to parties, etc...why the rush to have a baby?!

why not wait until you have a good job, with a good salary, a nice house, married or living with a person who you know is always going to be there for you and is not just gonna break up with you. the experience of having a baby then is much better.

the question i always ask is...WHY THE RUSH? but the person i feel most sorry for is the baby.

unfortunately, one day you are going to regret not having all the life experiences you could have had.

And sorry- but what exactly am I missing out on? I am studying, I have a good (could be better) social life, on the verge of entering another relationship, have an excellent family...I don't really see what im missing out on??

I feel quite sorry for YOU to have to sit here on a Saturday night trying to upset me. Maybe you should be talking to your parents about THEIR parenting skills seeing as they have brought you up so fantastically.

[depuis]

Here are your options:
Abortion:
may leave you feeling guilty,with a permanent loss/regret feeling
It would mean that your life remains as you are used to
You can date at uni, and find a partner that has similar interests, then have a kid with HIM once you both have your degrees
No one has to know

Keep the baby:
Going to be hard, no matter what anyone tells you
Expensive
May feel like the best choice you could have made
University study will be hard-impossible
You will have a cute little mini-me that you will 100% adore
Things may not work out with the father
You will take a child into any future relationships & that will likely make all potential future relationships harder.(and I mean ALL)

Variabes:

Your parents raise the child
You give it up for adoption
You forget about uni all together
You are rich and can afford uni+ a FT nanny
You don't care that your child may not receive all the individual attention it needs in its first 5 years and beyond
You really want a baby, and are willing to completely change your course of life for the one growing inside of you


I have tried to be as objective as possible, but my bias is still slightly there. The best thing is obviously NOT to have a BABY when you are 18 AND studying at UNI. Talk about stressful! These things on their own are incredibly taxing even for a very mature person(say 35)

My mum was 27 when she had me, but I still wish she were more established and prepared for a child.

I personally would probably keep the baby because I know my heart could not handle abortion..
But if yours can, let's admit that it would be best for you and your child.
If not, consider adoption or giving it away to close relatives.

Trust me, I HATE the idea of abortion.. With that said, the outcome of keeping the baby is so unnecessarily complicated that I would consider it in this case. Abortion doesn't have to be evil or bad, there are women who do it because they are in abusive relationships, and do not want to bring another child into it, women that get raped, people who cannot afford another child, those who's bodies cannot handle a child.. e.t.c e.tc.

I am taking a Human Growth course and it has really opened my eyes. Babies are incredibly complex, and are even too much work for an established woman with a husband to help her!

Consider my points, and decide what is best for YOU! Think about what you are and are not willing to give up at this point in your life, and in the future.

Everything is going to change with or without an abortion.

Good luck!

[zaliack]

(Original post by hannaaahlima)
If you planned her, that's even worse...it indicates immaturity. i mean, do you guys have any idea of how difficult it is to raise a human being? it is a beautiful thing to do, but it involves dedication and commitment for the rest of your life! you have so many things to live before having a baby, you can go to uni, make friends, travel, take a master's degree, go to parties, etc...why the rush to have a baby?!

why not wait until you have a good job, with a good salary, a nice house, married or living with a person who you know is always going to be there for you and is not just gonna break up with you. the experience of having a baby then is much better.

the question i always ask is...WHY THE RUSH? but the person i feel most sorry for is the baby.

unfortunately, one day you are going to regret not having all the life experiences you could have had.

Are you yourself a young parent?

The biggest thing that pisses me off is when people presume that just because you have a child around the age of 18, then that child is having a crappy life. Age does not mean anything when it comes to quality of life.

Also, regarding age, lets say I'm female and I'm thinking of giving birth. I can either do it at 18, or I can wait till i'm 22 to finish my law degree. Then I'd have to wait a year to do the BPTC, and another year to get through the pupillage (let's say criminal, as it's lowest paid). So I'm 24, but as I'm not entitled to maternity pay due to being self employed, i'll need to work and save up abit. Let's not forget to get a mortgage, car etc. 15 years later, just became QC and I'm 39 now. Perfect time to have a child. Which I now have more difficulty to become pregnant, and more risks associated with pregnancy. Or I could have had a child at 18, during the easiest part of my career, who would now be heading off to University themselves.

[aneemilie]

You might have to think about your options - what means more to you, uni or baby?

[depuis]

(Original post by Alexandra's Box)
The title of this thread sounds like one of those BBC3 documentaries.

Ahahah! It totally does. That would be a good one to watch though! I oughtta suggest it to BBC.

[mirin?]

All this thread reaffirmed was that i detest women. I would never love one, absolutely shocking comments on this thread. Selfish Selfish Selfish.

[Cicerao]

(Original post by depuis)
May feel like the best choice you could have made

Um...does that not apply to all the options?

(Original post by zaliack)
Or I could have had a child at 18, during the easiest part of my career, who would now be heading off to University themselves.

Easiest part of the career being the one where you receive the tiniest salary and have the lowest education and training, and fewest or no assets to your name, yes? I can't see the majority of teenage reproduction as anything but foolish. My perspective: the unfortunate sibling of a teenage breeder whose age, immaturity, lack of experience or finance HAD DEFINITELY had a negative impact on the multiple children.

[MikeySwansea]

(Original post by Dominic101)
You two should've been aborted too

The OP came on here to ask for advice, I gave her advice that I truly believe is the best thing for her.

I never asked for any comment on my post and it is up to the OP to make her own mind up on it.

She's got a huge decision to make and she wants a thread full of advice, not a number of posts from you moaning about what people have said.

So how about we let everyone have their say in helping her out and cut the crap?

[Iron Lady]

(Original post by NYprincessmaddie)
There is no appropriate age, you will never be fully ready to have children.

However, there is an appropriate attitude. I suggest you grow up and change yours if you ever hope to bring up a child properly.

Calm down, dear.

[NYprincessmaddie]

(Original post by Iron Lady)
Calm down, dear.

I'm calm sweetheart. I just hate silly immature little trolls.

[hannaaahlima]

(Original post by NYprincessmaddie)
And sorry- but what exactly am I missing out on? I am studying, I have a good (could be better) social life, on the verge of entering another relationship, have an excellent family...I don't really see what im missing out on??

I feel quite sorry for YOU to have to sit here on a Saturday night trying to upset me. Maybe you should be talking to your parents about THEIR parenting skills seeing as they have brought you up so fantastically.

you boyfriend was a solicitor with a good salary and owned a house...good for him! what about you? or are you one of those women who live off their partner's money? because it seems so.

and yes, i can list many things you are missing out on. you can't dedicate 100% to your studies, you can't just make decisions in your life without thinking how this will affect your child, you have much more responsibilities than the normal 22-year-old, you can't just sleep or study all day or just go out without arranging for her to stay with someone, you can't socialise as much, you can't travel as much, you can't do an exchange programme and the list is just beginning.

and as for my parents' parenting skills, i'm sure they are better than your parents' parenting skills since they have raise a dedicated girl who wants to be financially independent and is studying very hard to be a lawyer in a top tier university while enjoying her life with responsibility, and not a 22-year-old single mum who does distance learning and rely on the baby's father money.