[lucy5492]

Hey,

I'm sorry this is so long - the key question is indicated by the arrow below : )

I've basically kind of messed up this year, feel awful about it, and am desperately looking for a way out of the whole I've made for myself. My first year wasn't easy, but I kept my head above water. This year has been a bit grim. First term was good, then things sort of went to pieces over the Christmas vacation. I did an important piece of coursework incredibly badly because I became strangely paralyzed over it, spent about a week crying and wanting to die because I hated myself so much for screwing it up, and then really struggled to get back on track the following term - I felt constantly tired, tearful and felt overwhelmed and apathetic. I struggled to get out of bed because I sought the oblivion that sleep brought. I procrastinated to avoid facing up to the realities of how badly I was doing. I tried the college counselling support, but didn't find it that helpful. I managed very broadly to appear to keep up with work - though I only submitted six instead of eight essays, and most of them were late - but made minimal notes and was always just 'surviving'. In order to turn things round I really needed to throw everything at this vacation, but instead am now three weeks in and have done little - again I quickly sunk into feeling fatalistic, out of control, demotivated. I just don't feel like I can turn it around in time to do ok in the exams, because we're being examined on two year's work, and there is just a mountain to climb.

The whole situation is entirely my own fault, I genuinely can't blame anyone else, or even claim a certifiable illness: it's just been a non-specific, sapping malaise and sense of hopelessness. I really really want to do well or even just respectably, but seem unable to do what I know I need to do to make that happen. I don't know if I can turn this around. I don't really deserve a second chance at it, seeing as it's all my own lack of motivation and inability to cope with pressure which is to blame.

-->> Degrading has crossed my mind - but I have no idea if I would be a candidate for it, as I don't really have a 'problem'. And I also don't know how it would work - if you degrade in the summer term do you return just for the Easter term of the next year, or would you also repeat all or part of the year? Does anyone know what generally happens to people who degrade at this late stage in the year?

Thank you very much for any thoughts, and I am sorry that this is so long.

[Languages Nutter]

(Original post by lucy5492)
Hey,

I'm sorry this is so long - the key question is indicated by the arrow below : )

I've basically kind of messed up this year. My first year wasn't easy, but I kept my head above water. This year has been a bit grim. First term was fine, then things sort of went to pieces over the Christmas vacation, I did an important piece of coursework incredibly badly, and then really struggled to get things back on track the following term - I was constantly tired, tearful and felt overwhelmed for most of the term. I struggled to get out of bed because I sought the oblivion that sleep brought. I procrastinated to avoid facing up to the realities of how badly I was doing. I tried the college counselling support, but didn't find it that helpful. I managed to broadly keep up with work - though I only submitted six instead of eight essays, and most of them were late - but made minimal notes and was always just 'surviving'. In order to turn things round I really needed to throw everything at this vacation, but instead am now three weeks in and have done little - I felt fatalistic, out of control, demotivated, overwhelmed. I just don't feel like I can turn it around in time to do ok in the exams.

The whole situation is entirely my own fault, I genuinely can't blame anyone else, or even claim a certifiable illness: it's just been a non-specific, sapping malaise and sense of hopelessness. I really really want to do well, but seem unable to do what I know I need to do to make that happen. I don't know if I can turn this around. I don't really deserve a second chance at it, seeing as it's all my own lack of motivation and inability to cope with pressure which is to blame.

-->> Degrading has crossed my mind - but I have no idea if I would be a candidate for it, as I don't really have a 'problem'. And I also don't know how it would work - if you degrade in the summer term do you return just for the Easter term of the next year, or would you also repeat all or part of the year?

Thank you very much for any thoughts, and I am sorry that this is so long.

Hi Lucy,

Welcome to the forums, and I'm really sorry to hear that you're having trouble. As far as I know, you'd retake the whole year, but that's quite an extreme step to take. If I may offer you some advice, I'd suggest speaking to your College Nurse, or whomever you feel most comfortable with, when you get back: you should still have time to do that before term starts. Perhaps you could show them your post above, if you're worried about explaining everything.

I was very concerned about my exams last year, and found the workshops run by the University Counselling Service extremely helpful. You don't need any sort of referral for these workshops, and they teach you some really useful techniques.

Hopefully some of this will help; all the best, and do feel free to reply if I haven't made anything clear or something.

On an unrelated note, something to cheer you up: some pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

[Zoedotdot]

(Original post by lucy5492)
Hey,

I'm sorry this is so long - the key question is indicated by the arrow below : )

I've basically kind of messed up this year, feel awful about it, and am desperately looking for a way out of the whole I've made for myself. My first year wasn't easy, but I kept my head above water. This year has been a bit grim. First term was good, then things sort of went to pieces over the Christmas vacation. I did an important piece of coursework incredibly badly because I became strangely paralyzed over it, spent about a week crying and wanting to die because I hated myself so much for screwing it up, and then really struggled to get back on track the following term - I felt constantly tired, tearful and felt overwhelmed and apathetic. I struggled to get out of bed because I sought the oblivion that sleep brought. I procrastinated to avoid facing up to the realities of how badly I was doing. I tried the college counselling support, but didn't find it that helpful. I managed very broadly to appear to keep up with work - though I only submitted six instead of eight essays, and most of them were late - but made minimal notes and was always just 'surviving'. In order to turn things round I really needed to throw everything at this vacation, but instead am now three weeks in and have done little - again I quickly sunk into feeling fatalistic, out of control, demotivated. I just don't feel like I can turn it around in time to do ok in the exams, because we're being examined on two year's work, and there is just a mountain to climb.

The whole situation is entirely my own fault, I genuinely can't blame anyone else, or even claim a certifiable illness: it's just been a non-specific, sapping malaise and sense of hopelessness. I really really want to do well or even just respectably, but seem unable to do what I know I need to do to make that happen. I don't know if I can turn this around. I don't really deserve a second chance at it, seeing as it's all my own lack of motivation and inability to cope with pressure which is to blame.

-->> Degrading has crossed my mind - but I have no idea if I would be a candidate for it, as I don't really have a 'problem'. And I also don't know how it would work - if you degrade in the summer term do you return just for the Easter term of the next year, or would you also repeat all or part of the year? Does anyone know what generally happens to people who degrade at this late stage in the year?

Thank you very much for any thoughts, and I am sorry that this is so long.

You certainly can degrade in the Easter term - I know of people who have done it, although they did then take an entire year off.

Before you think about anything as drastic as degrading, there are a lot of things that you might be able to do to get yourself through the term. Have you considered speaking to anybody in your college or from your faculty about it? There are lots of people who will be available to help you if you ask for it, even if it's just to have a conversation. You could speak to your tutor, your DoS, perhaps even a supervisor that you might particularly trust. And then there's the University Counselling Service. All of those people will be able to talk through your options with you and come up with a plan of action. If you feel like you just need someone to talk to then you could try calling Linkline (website here: http://www.linkline.org.uk/index-screen.html).

Whatever you decide to do, try to let somebody know about how you're feeling. I've always found that the people charged with looking after me at the university have been surprisingly supportive and have helped me enormously over the years. I hope you can work something out that will enable you to achieve what you want to

[Agrippa]

(Original post by lucy5492)
Hey,

I'm sorry this is so long - the key question is indicated by the arrow below : )

I've basically kind of messed up this year, feel awful about it, and am desperately looking for a way out of the whole I've made for myself. My first year wasn't easy, but I kept my head above water. This year has been a bit grim. First term was good, then things sort of went to pieces over the Christmas vacation. I did an important piece of coursework incredibly badly because I became strangely paralyzed over it, spent about a week crying and wanting to die because I hated myself so much for screwing it up, and then really struggled to get back on track the following term - I felt constantly tired, tearful and felt overwhelmed and apathetic. I struggled to get out of bed because I sought the oblivion that sleep brought. I procrastinated to avoid facing up to the realities of how badly I was doing. I tried the college counselling support, but didn't find it that helpful. I managed very broadly to appear to keep up with work - though I only submitted six instead of eight essays, and most of them were late - but made minimal notes and was always just 'surviving'. In order to turn things round I really needed to throw everything at this vacation, but instead am now three weeks in and have done little - again I quickly sunk into feeling fatalistic, out of control, demotivated. I just don't feel like I can turn it around in time to do ok in the exams, because we're being examined on two year's work, and there is just a mountain to climb.

The whole situation is entirely my own fault, I genuinely can't blame anyone else, or even claim a certifiable illness: it's just been a non-specific, sapping malaise and sense of hopelessness. I really really want to do well or even just respectably, but seem unable to do what I know I need to do to make that happen. I don't know if I can turn this around. I don't really deserve a second chance at it, seeing as it's all my own lack of motivation and inability to cope with pressure which is to blame.

-->> Degrading has crossed my mind - but I have no idea if I would be a candidate for it, as I don't really have a 'problem'. And I also don't know how it would work - if you degrade in the summer term do you return just for the Easter term of the next year, or would you also repeat all or part of the year? Does anyone know what generally happens to people who degrade at this late stage in the year?

Thank you very much for any thoughts, and I am sorry that this is so long.

I think it's basically down to your college - I know of four people who degraded for various reasons and they all seem to have different conditions attached to it. I would suggest that it's worth speaking to someone sympathetic at college as soon as possible - maybe a college nurse, chaplain, tutor or DoS (if you get on with them). As tempting as it might be to "wait and see" for a little while as you mull it over, the earlier you talk to someone the easier the whole thing will be. Remember that you degrading is at the discretion of your college, so get some help as soon as possible! Good luck

[Angela_Beth]

I'm no expert on degrading, but I just wanted to say: I understand exactly what you mean about freezing up and panicking over coursework. I'm in my second year, and I did exactly the same thing.

It was so frustrating, because I knew I had the time to do it - I just couldn't motivate myself. I'd sit and stare at a blank screen for days and feel like nothing I wrote was good enough. Or I'd make pages and pages of mostly useless notes just to feel like I was doing something. Or I'd just panic for no reason and be unable to do anything. Still haven't caught up with work from last term, can't really face it. I just never want to think about it again. Which I feel horrible about, because I picked my subject because I love it and I can't believe I'm letting this happen. My general time table for last term was: freeze up and do my staring-at-a-blank-page thing for ages, then panic, then write a terrible essay last minute and give it in, then go to the supervision and get told how bad my essay is. Then swear it won't happen again, and watch the same thing happen the next week... And the next.... And the next...

Anyway, sorry, I really didn't mean to rant there. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone! I could honestly have written your post. Not sure how useful this comment is, really, but I wish you the best of luck and hope you come to a decision you're happy with.