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Are you too hard on yourself?

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    I'm very critical of myself when I look in the mirror. Even when eveythings right in that my skin and hair are looking good, and I'm a healthy weight, I still berate myself over my flaws, whether real or imagined.

    In the past, I used to feel so ugly it would actually stop me leaving the house sometimes. I've gradually become happier as I've got older and my taste in clothes and makeup has improved. But I still look at myself and say, 'I wan't a smaller nose, mine's huge' 'I have a massive chin' 'I'm overweight' 'I hate my teeth' etc etc.

    I always feel like the minger in the group too. Even if I'm feeling quite confident, once I meet up with friends I realise how much better than me they look. This is particularly true in photographs.

    Do you think my issues are the type that affect quite a lot of women nowadays? Do you ever look in the mirror and critisise yourself?

    I feel shallow making this post, but it's insecurity more than that. I wish I could look in the mirror and tell myself I'm beautiful. It must be so nice to be an attractive girl who can just get on with her life without having to think these things every day.

    I don't judge others if they are unattractive/overweight etc. So why do I do it to myself?
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    Not at all
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    Stop basing your self-worth on your looks and appearance - problem solved.
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    Not really. I often find myself looking in the mirror trying to make sure I didn't put on too much make up/over dressed, though.
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    Not at all. You don't have to be Gordon Ramsay to feel good about yourself
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    it is completely normal. show me one woman who says she is completely happy with her appearance and i will show you a liar. even the most attractive girl you can think of has insecurities about her body and wants to change little things only she can see. not to mention stunning women who think they are ugly. however, if it becomes an obsession (i think they say if you think about it for more than 3 hours a day of so) you should seek therapy.
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    I'm exactly the same! And i'm always looking for ways to make myself feel better ... my life is just an endless list of different diets, different hair products, different makeup ... Right now i'm looking for different ways to whiten my teeth.

    There are been days i've looked in the mirror and thought ... theres no way I can go out today, my skins too bad, or my chin looks fat or something like that.... atleast 4 times a month.

    I hate what I see in the mirror - my skins horrible, my nose is too big, my jawline isn't defined, my hairlines to far back, my hair is damaged and brassy and always flyaway, my eyebrows nver look neat, my boobs and stomach are too big, my nails are disgusting, my arms and wrists are chunky

    I get quite alot of male attention, so half of me thinks maybe its in my head? But then again, maybe its just because they think i'm achievable??

    being a girl sucks!
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    (Original post by laura loo)
    I'm very critical of myself when I look in the mirror. Even when eveythings right in that my skin and hair are looking good, and I'm a healthy weight, I still berate myself over my flaws, whether real or imagined.

    In the past, I used to feel so ugly it would actually stop me leaving the house sometimes. I've gradually become happier as I've got older and my taste in clothes and makeup has improved. But I still look at myself and say, 'I wan't a smaller nose, mine's huge' 'I have a massive chin' 'I'm overweight' 'I hate my teeth' etc etc.

    I always feel like the minger in the group too. Even if I'm feeling quite confident, once I meet up with friends I realise how much better than me they look. This is particularly true in photographs.

    Do you think my issues are the type that affect quite a lot of women nowadays? Do you ever look in the mirror and critisise yourself?

    I feel shallow making this post, but it's insecurity more than that. I wish I could look in the mirror and tell myself I'm beautiful. It must be so nice to be an attractive girl who can just get on with her life without having to think these things every day.

    I don't judge others if they are unattractive/overweight etc. So why do I do it to myself?

    Not just women, men often feel like this even though we don't go on about it like women do. I think people in geneeral are v critical of themselves. I think as people mature and get into their 20's, they realise that looks really aren't everything and its much better to be a well rounded person who is alright looking than a vacuous beauty, thats my take anyway.
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    I think we all have insecurities, especially us girls. I hate my stomach and shoulders/top of my arms bscause it seems that thats where I tend to put weight on the most although it isn't that bad. I can't stabd looking at photos of myself nowadays after nights out because I always feel as though my arms look huuge and feel that makes me look fat even though I'm not. If I managed to tone up my arms and stomach then I'd be happy.
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    Urgh yes. I wouldn't leave the house if I thought looked ugly either I'm quite the drama queen too and a perfectionist, so that doesn't help. Sometimes I'd put a bit of make-up on even when I'm at home alone, but that's more to do with my extreme vanity than my insecurities
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    Yeah. I think most people are, to be honest. I tend to become a bit obsessed with one aspect of my appearance for a while and then move on to another insecurity.
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    I know exactly what you mean, but then again, I'm a bit of a minger
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    I'm far too hard on myself. Not on the same level as some of the other people posting in here, but i ****ing hate how i look. Especially in photos. There isn't a single part of my appearance i'm happy with.

    I know this is a far bigger problem for girls, but men can feel like this too. We just keep quiet about it.
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    I definitely think it is normal to be more critical of your own appearance than you would be of other people's.

    I always had a thing about my nose as I thought it was massive, but then one of my friends told me she hated her nose and thought mine was perfect. I actually thought hers was fine and had never noticed that it was slightly crooked, which she hated, and she had never noticed that my nose is too big. It just goes to show that often people don't really look that closely and critically at each other, even if they can't help noticing flaws on themselves.

    My current most hated aspect of my appearance is undereye circles but at least I can keep these covered with a good concealer.
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    It's weird, I can know objectively that I can't be hideous because I have been given compliments in the past etc, however I can still feel absolutely disgusting sometimes. I know I can look quite good if I put some effort in but then that just feels like cheating, as if I should look nice without doing so. It's such a horrible feeling, I don't know about any one else but it goes in waves for me, I can start a day feeling good then go outside and feel terrible, or have a good day then a bad one, a good week or a bad week etc.

    Pfft, I think most people will feel this way to some extent, hopefully most of them not quite as extremely, but yeah I think it's human to be unhappy with how you look unfortunately.
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    definitely
    you ALWAYS want what you can't have, it's a fact of life
    but just properly imagine you already had the body changes you want already naturally, you'll want the opposite
    it's like everyone who has curly hair wants straight and vice versa and any skinny girl wants curves while curvy girls want to be skinny!
    you've got to work with what you've got and learn to love it, think what makes it great however small it may be
    i used to hate being tall and thought i was lanky and realized wait a minute tall is beautiful, all the beautiful top models are tall obviously! i hated having naturally wavy curls as a kid now i appriciate it and i'm glad i have the two options of straight or curly but there's no effort or damage involved such as curling it aha
    always long for curves, bigger boobs and bum and when i properly thought about i said i bet if i was like i'd want to be skinny
    honest just think you already have what you want to be like and you'll want the opposite
    it's just cause you can't have it you want it
    and about the massive chin massive nose etc dilemma NO ONE notices i promise you
    everyones too busy worrying about what they look like and inspecting every part of their body
    i know someone who got a nose job and a mole on their face removed, i saw them every day but did not notice anything wrong at all
    it's sad how people have to go to extreme lengths cause they think when a person looks at them that problem area is all the see, but it's not true

    everyone's their own worst critic

    essay over
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    i do all the time
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    (Original post by Laura1234567890)
    definitely
    you ALWAYS want what you can't have, it's a fact of life
    but just properly imagine you already had the body changes you want already naturally, you'll want the opposite
    it's like everyone who has curly hair wants straight and vice versa and any skinny girl wants curves while curvy girls want to be skinny!
    you've got to work with what you've got and learn to love it, think what makes it great however small it may be
    i used to hate being tall and thought i was lanky and realized wait a minute tall is beautiful, all the beautiful top models are tall obviously! i hated having naturally wavy curls as a kid now i appriciate it and i'm glad i have the two options of straight or curly but there's no effort or damage involved such as curling it aha
    always long for curves, bigger boobs and bum and when i properly thought about i said i bet if i was like i'd want to be skinny
    honest just think you already have what you want to be like and you'll want the opposite
    it's just cause you can't have it you want it
    and about the massive chin massive nose etc dilemma NO ONE notices i promise you
    everyones too busy worrying about what they look like and inspecting every part of their body
    i know someone who got a nose job and a mole on their face removed, i saw them every day but did not notice anything wrong at all
    it's sad how people have to go to extreme lengths cause they think when a person looks at them that problem area is all the see, but it's not true

    everyone's their own worst critic

    essay over
    That is a weird argument.
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    Most days.
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    (Original post by laura loo)
    I'm very critical of myself when I look in the mirror. Even when eveythings right in that my skin and hair are looking good, and I'm a healthy weight, I still berate myself over my flaws, whether real or imagined.

    In the past, I used to feel so ugly it would actually stop me leaving the house sometimes. I've gradually become happier as I've got older and my taste in clothes and makeup has improved. But I still look at myself and say, 'I wan't a smaller nose, mine's huge' 'I have a massive chin' 'I'm overweight' 'I hate my teeth' etc etc.

    I always feel like the minger in the group too. Even if I'm feeling quite confident, once I meet up with friends I realise how much better than me they look. This is particularly true in photographs.

    Do you think my issues are the type that affect quite a lot of women nowadays? Do you ever look in the mirror and critisise yourself?

    I feel shallow making this post, but it's insecurity more than that. I wish I could look in the mirror and tell myself I'm beautiful. It must be so nice to be an attractive girl who can just get on with her life without having to think these things every day.

    I don't judge others if they are unattractive/overweight etc. So why do I do it to myself?
    You're not the only one who does it! I'm always having a dig at myself for something being wrong!

    Comparing the me now to the me four years ago, I look tonnes better! Used to have the most awful skin, wear glasses and even wore braces for a period of time. (Asked my mum to buy me an hearing aid - not deaf, just thought it'd be great to have the full set!) Still not 100% happy seeing as I've put quite a bit of weight on, but, once I start uni I'll be tackling that issue and hopefully I'll feel better.

    This is the reason why I try to stay clear of magazines like Cosmo... I feel even worse about myself after reading through it. Fed up of being told how to have sex and what to look like by them, haha.

    It's all about confidence! x

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Updated: May 14, 2012
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