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Hit and wish you run (Poem)

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    Frozen distant gaze through arctic wailing space;
    My pulse pounds at pace as taciturn strangers’ race.
    Flaccid wrist in my shaking hand.
    I shake her hand, and shake and shake,
    Why won’t she wake?
    Faint twitches fade, and I wish that I would faint;
    So I almost feign to faint,
    But I can’t. Pinch me. I wish I could wake.
    What and how and why?
    Blood trickles down her face.
    Sirens cry.
    Together we die.
    Translucent skin, wispy hair,
    Bruised, bloody, broken,
    Babies shouldn’t sleep with one eye open.


    Any feedback would be great!
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    Noice.

    Maybe make it longer? Would be interesting to hear more.
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    I really like this!
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    (Original post by Kiss)
    Noice.

    Maybe make it longer? Would be interesting to hear more.

    (Original post by weirdnessandcoffee)
    I really like this!
    Thank you both, I'm glad you like it. Kiss - I did want it to be a little longer but struggled to come up with anything to add without repeating myself, it sort of came to a natural end where it did!

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Updated: April 14, 2012
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