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How dysfunctional are your family?

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    • Thread Starter
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    Hello,

    A bit of a weird request, but I'd like people to tell me about your immediate family, like what oddities that could be improved with your family dynamic and nice things that make you a unit Overall, are you happy or unhappy with your family, and why?

    My family have had some bad arguments to the point that some members aren't speaking to each other, and it's really got me down because we're so tiny (both parents were only ones so there's only 6 of us - me, my sister, mum, dad, and 2 grannies) so it's such a shame that we're at logger-heads. Once people have replied I'll probably give my side of what has happened. I just don't want to at the moment because I don't really have much of an idea of how little/big of deal my family's siutation is, since people don't really mention or talk about family problems in general social situations.

    If people could give me a description as detailed or as brief as they want, then I think it would really help put things in perspective. Thank you
    • 7 followers
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    I think my family has a pretty good relationship with each and every member . There are arguments and times when we don't always agree with each other but these are only minor.

    A happy family is but an earlier heaven- George Bernard Shaw
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    Parents divorced, my father raised me but treats me more as a mate than a son which actually I prefer and when it matters we are there for each other

    Before I moved to the UK, I barely knew my mother due to the fact she left my dad when I was very young and he fought to keep me in France however he lost an appeal which meant I had to live in the UK despite my education, friends and everything I know being in France... we don't have a good relationship, I hate her husband (he is a dip**** that isn't fiscally aware and thinks that he has some control over me) and my half-brother, she really downgraded with that ****... we are quite frankly always at each others throat, step-dad and half-brother, mother not so much now although I do blame her for me being forced to live in the UK because of he selfish reasons.
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    My family is pretty weird, but tbh, I'm happy..

    Mum had 2 kids before meeting my Dad and having me... then my Dad left my mum and had 2 more. So technically, I'm an only child, but only because I have half siblings.

    My Dad's an only child so I have no other family that side other than my nan. My Mum has one sister who she doesn't get a long with, so that leaves me with my Nan and Granddad on this side.

    Then my mum met a new man, when I was 5/6 who brought me up, but sadly he passed away when I was 14, suddenly..

    So in the house it's just my Mum and I. I'm close to my (older, half) Sister relationship-wise, but she lives 200 miles away, don't talk to my (older, half) brother, who also lives far away.

    I don't see my Dad very often, he lives 100 miles away, with a bitch of a wife.

    SO really, that leaves me with my Mum, and Nan and Granddad.

    ...



    You asked.
    • 21 followers
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    My family is pretty big. My parents are divorced and both got remarried when I was fairly young, so I'm used to considering my step-parents families as my own. That means I have two dads (my stepdad, who raised me, and my biological dad), three grandmas and three half sisters. I get along excellently with everyone who isn't my biological parent- my mum has improved in recent years but she was always a bit weird and irrational which drove me round the bend and of course blamed my dad for EVERYTHING, whereas my dad was an emotionally abusive bully and my earliest memory is him breaking down my mum's bedroom door.
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    For an orthodox family yeah we're quite disfunctional, and I think I'm the reason for most of it. First me and my brother became atheist and everyone hated us, then I left when I was 17 and got "disowned" so no one spoke to me for about a year. I think I was the one who motivated my brother to leave as well. Then my mum left my dad and everyone blames me for it because I apparently put the idea of "freedom" in her head. Now no one speaks to me or to my mum but they do speak to my brother even though he's in the exact same position as me and my mum. ****ing sexist religious pricks.
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    I think my family is a bit dysfunctional. We barely know how to hold a conversation with each other (me and my brother are fine with each other though). We all have different ways of thinking so there always seems to be arguments and disagreements. Parents haven't had a happy marriage; they still don't, generally they seem 'ok', but a husband and wife should show love and care for each other and be happy, rather than just put up with each other. My Dad doesn't even sleep in our house because his mom (my grandma) is quite ill and he has to be there at night to look after her since she refuses to come live in our house. It's pretty upsetting when I think about it... we go out for a meal when it's someone's birthday and the way we sit there quietly, struggling to think of what to talk about, is just so cringey and embarrassing, and a downright shame. :emo:
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    I suppose its a bit dysfunctional to the outside world. My parents separated when I was 7 and they shared joint custody of me and my brother. Aout a year later my mum started a new relationship. Me and my younger brother got on well with him but he and my mum were always arguing which I hated. Anyway their relationship was on/off for a couple of years and then they bought a house together but still didn't get on. They aren't together anymore and don't sleep together but still live together because neither can afford to move out or sell the house atm. Awkard situation! :p: Generally my mum gets on with her immediate family but she and my auntie always disagree about something trivial! :rolleyes:

    My dad's side are more functional. He met his girlfriend 6 years ago and now lives with her. Me and my brother get on great with her and her two kids who are similar age to me.
    • 23 followers
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    Are you thinking of dysfunctional as positive or negative?
    • 3 followers
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    I come from pretty much the archetypal nuclear family - mum, dad and brother (and a cat). They're all pretty normal, I think I'm the dysfunctional one, sadly.
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    Very dysfunctional. Very.
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    I have a mother and younger sibling. My father pissed off abroad when I was four so he wouldn't have to pay for us, meaning that my mother had to find a job whilst raising two kids, one of whom was a baby. I think we had an alright relationship when I was younger, but then she got remarried and moved us all to middle-class suburbia with her new husband. My relationship with my stepfather was shaky at best; he'd hit me around, something I wasn't used to, and because I've got a short fuse I was usually the one who'd get into arguments with him. At this point I noticed my mother and I started to drift apart, mainly because she wouldn't accept that her husband had obvious anger management problems and had a selective memory when it came to what he did to me. To this day she apparently still can't remember one such incident, despite my sister, who was just four at the time, remembering clearly.

    Anyway, long story short, this lasted for a while until one day it got really bad and my mother saw sense and left him. Although the incident in question didn't happen to her, my sister was seriously shaken by everything that happened, and has PTSD as a result. My relationship with my mother has also deteriorated further; we get on, but there's a distance between us that's hard not to notice. Lots of my friends wish that my mum was their mum, as my mother doesn't care if I come home drunk or skip college, but I'm not so sure. I mean, I love her to bits, but I would like some guidance and stability in my life, for a change.

    My father's family stopped all contact with us, got into contact and then stopped it again, so **** them. Fortunately, my maternal grandparents are lovely, and I wouldn't trade them for the world

    Rant over. I'm sorry for that essay. Just something I needed to get off my chest
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    I have white stuff coming out of my willy. That's the limit of my family's dysfunctionality.
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    My mum and dad had explosive arguments constantly from as early as I can remember. They were on and off for years. My mum would always move my sisters and I around the country at her whim dependant on how close she wanted to live to my dad/some crazy hairbrain scheme she had.

    My dad is an abusive, alcoholic unemployed bully whom I haven't spoken to for years.

    My mum is quite depressed and erratic, very negative about males in general...quite understandably. We can hold a conversation.

    I get on very well with my elder sister although she is much older and doesn't live nearby. My little sister is a complete psycho probably on drugs at this point.
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    Hmm I always think of my family as fairly normal, but I guess when I think about it, its a load of rubbish.

    Mum and dad are still married, and still go on about how much they love eachother, got one younger sister. Although dad has always worked full time, mum is a 'housewife' (who does no housework) but at the moment he hates his job, so he drinks wayyy more than he used to - and the fact that his health is pretty much appalling, probably due to how much he used to drink. That doesn't make much sense, so to clarify, he used to drink too much, now he drinks more than that. Mum always drank loads, so thats kind of a moot point now.

    We do do stuff like go out for breakfast to the spoons (aha, sounds like a nice family outing) but when they have beer and wine with breakfast it kind of ruins the family thing. I made it all sound quite bad really, but it isn't that bad - I tend to just avoid it by not speaking to them most days. I have some conversations with my dad, but he usually just repeats himself because he can't remember that we had the same conversation before (and then forgets we had the conversation again) but I rarely talk to my mum because she repeats herself in the same day which is more annoying. My sister and me have the same attitude to their drinking, but deal with it in different ways. We sometimes get together to rant about it, but more often she tells them off for various different things, and I just stay out of the house. She has started to drink at breakfast as well now though, I think to prove the point that they should be disapproving of it.



    And yeah I just made it sound really bad again hahaha. Its not that bad, its just when you write it out really. Its kind of an everyday thing so its pretty normal for me now So i wouldn't say that we're really a dysfunctional family. There's no divorces or anything
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    My family is probably about middle ground in terms of dysfunctionality, On paper we're a perfect stereotypical family; my mum, my dad, me (im 16), my brother whos 12 and my sister whos 2 in the summer. Dad works full time as an engineer, mum works as a housewife and mother to my little sister. They married aged 20 and 22, I was born 9 months after they married. Seems really normal.

    Off paper though we're all a bunch of wierdos; sometimes in a good way, sometimes not. I'll leave this one out just now, maybe come back and edit when I've read others but right now I'd rather not talk about that.

    My extended family is crazy. I have three sets of grandparents (see, crazy already); my paternal grandparents who are horrible bullies who I haven't seen since I was little, my maternal grandparents are amazing people who I'm really close to and my mothers biological father and step-mother I only knew existed for a few years, they live on the other side of the country and I rarely see them although we get on well. I have a maternal aunt and two uncles who are all ''characters'' but amazing people. Also, with my biological grandfather I also have nine step-uncles who all have two names i.e. their real name is Tom but their known as Steve and his real name is Mike but he's known as Luke etc, get reeeeally confusing.
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    Everything functions as long as no one rocks the boat, and knows their place. Also pride gets in the way and I sit back shake my head and count the days till I can go to a uni 100's of miles away.

    <3 x
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    (Original post by Dragonfly07)
    For an orthodox family yeah we're quite disfunctional, and I think I'm the reason for most of it. First me and my brother became atheist and everyone hated us, then I left when I was 17 and got "disowned" so no one spoke to me for about a year. I think I was the one who motivated my brother to leave as well. Then my mum left my dad and everyone blames me for it because I apparently put the idea of "freedom" in her head. Now no one speaks to me or to my mum but they do speak to my brother even though he's in the exact same position as me and my mum. ****ing sexist religious pricks.
    Just out of curiosity, what religion does your family adhere to?
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    I suppose I'm the dysfunctional one. Atheist living in a Muslim family (when not at uni)... although my youngest sister seems to be heading that way too as she keeps questioning things all the time, my brother on the other hand appears to be heading the opposite way (unsurprising considering my parents send him to mosque every day after school, I've seen the kids there, they're violent little ****ers) - just a few months ago we were watching a documentary on space and was shocked to hear he thought the big bang was a myth and very sceptical of science, kept spouting nonsense he heard from others at mosque - no critical thinking ability.

    I am really not looking forward to the day when/if I have to speak out. It will likely cost me everything and ruin my relationship with my family.
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    (Original post by TheSurgeon345)
    Just out of curiosity, what religion does your family adhere to?
    does it matter

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