I don't know how to deal with this. I recently applied to be a volunteer at this place (not going to name it) it's not really relevant anyway. About a month ago I went to the first session, which was basically registering us all in. When I arrived, a few others were already there, so I smiled and sat down staring awkwardly at the tv in the corner. Then a few more people turned up, but when they walked in they smiled and said hi to everyone. Then seemed to somehow start conversations with others. I sat there thinking oh, well I messed up there. Everyone was talking to each other like they were old friends.

Early his week I went to this organisation again for an induction, so this was the 2nd time I'd met them.. It has been one of the most awkward moments of my life. I got there and recognised people from the time before, but nobody smiled or anything. I was pretty nervous too so I didn't speak at all. I kept listening to what they were saying, and trying to contribute to the discussion, but what they were talking about didn't interest me at all. Like the guys were talking about football and then there was only one other female my age there, who was talking to a guy who she already knew previously, the other female was in her 30s and seemed happy discussing football with the guys. I sat there not knowing what to do and what to say. On the break one of the staff was there, stared at me and said "it's okay to smile you know". It made me think, wow people really can see how anxious I am just from looking at my face. The staff member was talking generally with others about politics and again I just sat there not understanding a thing and therefore not being able to be involved in the conversation. I was sat with a woman in her 30s at a table and she looked at me but looked away, I looked at her and smiled but she wasn't even looking at me. Awkward silence for about 10 mins.

I hate feeling like this, how can I be more sociable? How do I talk to someone who's a complete stranger. How do I be involved in conversations about things which I don't understand? I don't think I spoke to 1 person all day.