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Closest female friend and I, but we're not touchy?

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    Anon as the person sometimes comes on here.

    Basically, this girl is my best friend; and I'm her closest guy-friend (only person she's closer to is her friend she's known since she was really young). We spend so much time together; know everything about each other, go out everywhere together etc.

    We've never had a "touchy" relationship (as in hugging or whatever); except for hug's to say hi/bye. But over the past 6 months (where we got a lot closer to each other) it just stopped. We pretty much never hug each other, and yet she hugs all these other guys who she's nowhere near as close to as we are (people who she's just friends with, from college, people she doesn't know outside of class etc).

    The closest sort of touching we get is play-fighting or dancing together.

    It pretty much is jealousy on my part, but surely we all crave physical attention? I'm not wanting to take things further with her at all; but it's just something that I feel like I wish we had more of in our relationship. I don't want to bring it up with her, as it'd be a bit weird to ask.

    It's not like the relationship isn't there, we both say "love you" to each other (I'm the only guy she says this to) in both serious and silly contexts (when we do each other favours etc); like I said we spend ridiculous amounts of time with each other, get along great, know everything about each other, tell each other everything etc.

    Has anyone else had any experience of this sort of thing?
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    You fancy her.
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    :console:
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    (Original post by Chapeau Rouge)
    You fancy her.
    definitely.
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    This may make me sound ignorant. But whats the problem here?
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    stop perving at her
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    Show her how you feel. You could send her the manhood you just ejected into that tread.
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    (Original post by Productoflabour)
    Show her how you feel. You could send her the manhood you just ejected into that tread.
    Smooth.Real smooth
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    Right back at you sister. You almost managed cool and edgy.
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    well it sounds like you might fancy her..... but if your sure it's not that then you should be greatfull of your current closness with her. i have only 2 really close guy friends (which i've never fancied fyi) and it's awesome to have close guy friends so dont spoil anything you have with her...... unless you really really fancy her then you gotta man up and say something to her about it

    hope this helped a bit x
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    Aww sounds like you like her tbh!

    I don't quite know why exactly, but the thread just made me think of this!

    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Chapeau Rouge)
    You fancy her.
    The point is though I was trying to stress the fact how I don't.

    I had some issues last year where my best friend passed away; and I don't want to get hurt again in losing a friend, hence why I'm worried. In a way it's also why I have an urge to be so clingy about it all.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The point is though I was trying to stress the fact how I don't.

    I had some issues last year where my best friend passed away; and I don't want to get hurt again in losing a friend, hence why I'm worried. In a way it's also why I have an urge to be so clingy about it all.
    Okay, so you dont fancy her.

    Why don't you just ask her for a hug when you are leaving each others company? And if she asks why, which i'm sure she wont, just say "I just want a hug!"

    Or, go and give her a hug. No one rejects hugs.

    EDIT: Unless you are one of those wierd people that like to prolong hugs and rub the persons back as if you're both really intimate with each other. To me, a hug between friends is quick hug and a peck on the cheek.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon as the person sometimes comes on here.

    Basically, this girl is my best friend; and I'm her closest guy-friend (only person she's closer to is her friend she's known since she was really young). We spend so much time together; know everything about each other, go out everywhere together etc.

    We've never had a "touchy" relationship (as in hugging or whatever); except for hug's to say hi/bye. But over the past 6 months (where we got a lot closer to each other) it just stopped. We pretty much never hug each other, and yet she hugs all these other guys who she's nowhere near as close to as we are (people who she's just friends with, from college, people she doesn't know outside of class etc).

    The closest sort of touching we get is play-fighting or dancing together.

    It pretty much is jealousy on my part, but surely we all crave physical attention? I'm not wanting to take things further with her at all; but it's just something that I feel like I wish we had more of in our relationship. I don't want to bring it up with her, as it'd be a bit weird to ask.

    It's not like the relationship isn't there, we both say "love you" to each other (I'm the only guy she says this to) in both serious and silly contexts (when we do each other favours etc); like I said we spend ridiculous amounts of time with each other, get along great, know everything about each other, tell each other everything etc.

    Has anyone else had any experience of this sort of thing?
    next time you meet up with her, just jokingly say "aw no hug? alright..." (like say it when you greet each other and say it in a jokey way). Then she might be like "aw, didn't realise you wanted one haha" then she'll probs hug you and it might turn into a regular thing.
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    This may sound daft but maybe she thinks you aren't a hugs person. I'm not, but I always hug most of my friends because they are. But if I go down a line of friends hugging goodbye and then reach another non hugging type we are both like :eek: what do we do???

    Maybe she thinks you aren't a hugging type so doesn't want to make you feel awkward.
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    So the problem is you want her to hug you again? She still says she 'loves you' so I don't think there's an issue of her starting to dislike you...
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    Ask
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon as the person sometimes comes on here.

    Basically, this girl is my best friend; and I'm her closest guy-friend (only person she's closer to is her friend she's known since she was really young). We spend so much time together; know everything about each other, go out everywhere together etc.

    We've never had a "touchy" relationship (as in hugging or whatever); except for hug's to say hi/bye. But over the past 6 months (where we got a lot closer to each other) it just stopped. We pretty much never hug each other, and yet she hugs all these other guys who she's nowhere near as close to as we are (people who she's just friends with, from college, people she doesn't know outside of class etc).

    The closest sort of touching we get is play-fighting or dancing together.

    It pretty much is jealousy on my part, but surely we all crave physical attention? I'm not wanting to take things further with her at all; but it's just something that I feel like I wish we had more of in our relationship. I don't want to bring it up with her, as it'd be a bit weird to ask.

    It's not like the relationship isn't there, we both say "love you" to each other (I'm the only guy she says this to) in both serious and silly contexts (when we do each other favours etc); like I said we spend ridiculous amounts of time with each other, get along great, know everything about each other, tell each other everything etc.

    Has anyone else had any experience of this sort of thing?
    Omg I was convinced from your first post that you were my best friend and that this was about me hahaha but the later post confirms that it isn't. I'm really sorry about your best friend!
    I think it's probably because she isn't a hug person like someone else said, just that the people that hug her are and she just hugs back as you do or she just isn't used to hugging you so thinks you dont want one. Just go for it or even ask for one. Also it would be good for you to talk to her or someone else more about your best friend that passed away if you don't already- don't let the emotions build up! Especially your female best friend, I'm sure she'd understand that you need a little comfort/support which ties into the hugging thing
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon as the person sometimes comes on here.

    Basically, this girl is my best friend; and I'm her closest guy-friend (only person she's closer to is her friend she's known since she was really young). We spend so much time together; know everything about each other, go out everywhere together etc.

    We've never had a "touchy" relationship (as in hugging or whatever); except for hug's to say hi/bye. But over the past 6 months (where we got a lot closer to each other) it just stopped. We pretty much never hug each other, and yet she hugs all these other guys who she's nowhere near as close to as we are (people who she's just friends with, from college, people she doesn't know outside of class etc).

    The closest sort of touching we get is play-fighting or dancing together.

    It pretty much is jealousy on my part, but surely we all crave physical attention? I'm not wanting to take things further with her at all; but it's just something that I feel like I wish we had more of in our relationship. I don't want to bring it up with her, as it'd be a bit weird to ask.

    It's not like the relationship isn't there, we both say "love you" to each other (I'm the only guy she says this to) in both serious and silly contexts (when we do each other favours etc); like I said we spend ridiculous amounts of time with each other, get along great, know everything about each other, tell each other everything etc.

    Has anyone else had any experience of this sort of thing?
    I don't like to be too touchy feely with my male friends because I don't want them to interpret it in the wrong way and for things to become awkward. She probably cares too much about you as a friend.

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Updated: April 17, 2012
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