[Starrstruck]

Question: What methods does Steinbeck use in this passage to present Candy? I would really appreciate any feeback and I apologise for the length!

Steinbeck uses different methods in this passage to create Candy in order to create a certain impact upon the readers and convey different messades. One of the predominant methods used in the passage is language techniques. Candy repeats "I seen her give Slim the eye" twice to George. Steinbeck deliberately used repition in order to indicate to the readers that Candy is someone who likes to gossip as it is his only form on entertainment. I also think Steinbeck chose for Candy to repeat those particular words because perhaps Candy wanted to get a certain reaction out of George and I also think Candy wanted to emphasize his dislike for Curley's wife. Moreover, I think Candy may have repeated his words to perhaps show how happy and excited he is to share his gossip as he has no one else to talk to. This could also imply that Candy's opinions are usually ignores by other ranch men, clearly showing the readers he has a low status on the ranch and is often lonely.

Furthermore, another language device Steinbeck uses in the passage to present Candy is adjectives. There are a variety of them used such as "reassures" and "safe" in order to describe Candy's feelings. The fact that Candy feels "safe" around George implies that he is perhaps hesitant to talk to other ranch men as they usually disrespect him and don't listen to his opinions. This could also suggest that he is a perceptive person when it comes to meeting new people, therefore he immediately feels "reassure" when he's around George because he knows he is a good person.

Als, Steinbeck describes Candy speaking "more confidently" to George which insinuates that he is usually quite shy and closed off from the other ranch men as they don't value his opinions due to his age. This indicates to the readers that Candy has probably felt degraded in the past due to experiences with other men. I think Steinbeck perhaps wanted the readers to feel some sympathy towards him, as they can tell he is a good natured person.

In addition, Steinbeck also uses symbolism in this passage in order to link the similarities of Candy and his dog together. Candy's dog is described as "ancient" and "painful". Steinbeck purposefully chose to use Candy's dog to symbolise Candy to show the readers that he is old, weak and is often in pain. I also think Steinbeck decided to link Candy and his dog together to indicate to the readers that whatever happens to Candy and his dog's friendship may have a following effect on someone else's friendship such as George and Lennie. Furthermore, I think the adjectives "ancient" and "painfull" further reinforce the point about Steinbeck wanting to create sympathy upon the readers, in order to show how hard life could be for ranch men during the set period.

Also, towards the very end of the extract Candy is described as stepping "out the door into the brilliant sunshine". I think that Steinbeck used Candy's feelings to symbolise the light. The fact that George has actually listened to Candy has made Candy, hence there is "brilliant sunshine" as he steps out of the room.

[ArtisticFlair]

Needs to be more detailed... I would say you're looking at a high B/low A grade. Is this for AQA? If so, you must evaluate the language/structure/form rather than analyse.

[Dobrzynski]

A/B

[mevidek]

One tip: please don't say "I also think" in a marked essay/answer, just say something like "from the text, it is clear that Steinbeck also intends for Candy's feelings to symbolise the illuminating light".

[Starrstruck]

(Original post by mevidek)
One tip: please don't say "I also think" in a marked essay/answer, just say something like "from the text, it is clear that Steinbeck also intends for Candy's feelings to symbolise the illuminating light".

Thanks, I'll bear that mind.

[Booyah]

Would also talk about Steinbeck making Candy insecure, and how he knows that once he is useless he will be thrown off the ranch, it should be mentioned that he quickly wanted to jump into the "American Dream" that George has by offering all his money. And just make some waffle about that. If you continue on with that writing I can see you getting an A-A*.

Sources: Myself got an A at GCSE

Edit: and as the guy above me said... do not use "I think" or "I saw this" or "I thought this" etc. Do not write in any person just analysis, what would be alright is saying "one would presume"

[multiplexing-gamer]

Try and get it to flow better, there are also spelling mistakes:

Steinbeck uses different methods in this passage to create Candy in order to create a certain impact Doesn't really flow very well and I dont think it makes sense or is clear. Delete the 'create' and use another word. upon the readers and convey different messades. Spelling mistakes of 'messages' One of the predominant methods used in the passage is language techniques. Candy repeats "I seen her give Slim the eye" twice to George. Link these sentences for fluency, simple words like 'and' between the latter and former sentence Steinbeck deliberately used repition Spelling mistake in order to indicate to the readers that Candy is someone who likes to gossip as it is his only form on entertainment. What effect did this have on the audience? Think about structure and the form used and how all these contribute to a successful passage. Also try and be a tad more original. They're boring points, offer up exciting thoughts, and back them up with evidence.

[Starrstruck]

(Original post by multiplexing-gamer)
Try and get it to flow better, there are also spelling mistakes:

Steinbeck uses different methods in this passage to create Candy in order to create a certain impact Doesn't really flow very well and I dont think it makes sense or is clear. Delete the 'create' and use another word. upon the readers and convey different messades. Spelling mistakes of 'messages' One of the predominant methods used in the passage is language techniques. Candy repeats "I seen her give Slim the eye" twice to George. Link these sentences for fluency, simple words like 'and' between the latter and former sentence Steinbeck deliberately used repition Spelling mistake in order to indicate to the readers that Candy is someone who likes to gossip as it is his only form on entertainment. What effect did this have on the audience? Think about structure and the form used and how all these contribute to a successful passage. Also try and be a tad more original. They're boring points, offer up exciting thoughts, and back them up with evidence.

Yes i realise there are spelling mistakes- i typed it up onto the computer quickly but im usually careful in exams. Yeah i realise the points are boring, im normally quite good at coming up with my own ideas but i think my brain dead when i wrote this.But its ok, this is a past paper. I know that i wont candy in the real exam.

[multiplexing-gamer]

(Original post by Starrstruck)
Yes i realise there are spelling mistakes- i typed it up onto the computer quickly but im usually careful in exams. Yeah i realise the points are boring, im normally quite good at coming up with my own ideas but i think my brain dead when i wrote this.But its ok, this is a past paper. I know that i wont candy in the real exam.

If you wrote it quickly with not much effort then what's the point in getting it marked, because it wont be your ability.

[123_456_789]

(Original post by multiplexing-gamer)
Doesn't really flow very well and I dont think it makes sense or is clear. Delete the 'create' and use another word.
Spelling mistakes of 'messages'
Link these sentences for fluency, simple words like 'and' between the latter and former sentence
Spelling mistake

But this is literature, not language. They wouldn't get marked for anything like spellings or fluency etc., only the interpretations they make.

(Original post by Starrstruck)

Spoiler:

Show

Question: What methods does Steinbeck use in this passage to present Candy? I would really appreciate any feeback and I apologise for the length!

Steinbeck uses different methods in this passage to create Candy in order to create a certain impact upon the readers and convey different messades. One of the predominant methods used in the passage is language techniques. Candy repeats "I seen her give Slim the eye" twice to George. Steinbeck deliberately used repition in order to indicate to the readers that Candy is someone who likes to gossip as it is his only form on entertainment. I also think Steinbeck chose for Candy to repeat those particular words because perhaps Candy wanted to get a certain reaction out of George and I also think Candy wanted to emphasize his dislike for Curley's wife. Moreover, I think Candy may have repeated his words to perhaps show how happy and excited he is to share his gossip as he has no one else to talk to. This could also imply that Candy's opinions are usually ignores by other ranch men, clearly showing the readers he has a low status on the ranch and is often lonely.

Furthermore, another language device Steinbeck uses in the passage to present Candy is adjectives. There are a variety of them used such as "reassures" and "safe" in order to describe Candy's feelings. The fact that Candy feels "safe" around George implies that he is perhaps hesitant to talk to other ranch men as they usually disrespect him and don't listen to his opinions. This could also suggest that he is a perceptive person when it comes to meeting new people, therefore he immediately feels "reassure" when he's around George because he knows he is a good person.

Als, Steinbeck describes Candy speaking "more confidently" to George which insinuates that he is usually quite shy and closed off from the other ranch men as they don't value his opinions due to his age. This indicates to the readers that Candy has probably felt degraded in the past due to experiences with other men. I think Steinbeck perhaps wanted the readers to feel some sympathy towards him, as they can tell he is a good natured person.

In addition, Steinbeck also uses symbolism in this passage in order to link the similarities of Candy and his dog together. Candy's dog is described as "ancient" and "painful". Steinbeck purposefully chose to use Candy's dog to symbolise Candy to show the readers that he is old, weak and is often in pain. I also think Steinbeck decided to link Candy and his dog together to indicate to the readers that whatever happens to Candy and his dog's friendship may have a following effect on someone else's friendship such as George and Lennie. Furthermore, I think the adjectives "ancient" and "painfull" further reinforce the point about Steinbeck wanting to create sympathy upon the readers, in order to show how hard life could be for ranch men during the set period.

Also, towards the very end of the extract Candy is described as stepping "out the door into the brilliant sunshine". I think that Steinbeck used Candy's feelings to symbolise the light. The fact that George has actually listened to Candy has made Candy, hence there is "brilliant sunshine" as he steps out of the room.

It seems quite good so far, especially considering it was written under timed conditions (I assume it was?). I think you can be relatively confident you would get an A for this, I mean this exemplar http://www.edexcel.com/migrationdocu...9-SampleAA.pdf got full marks and I didn't really think it was that good so it's hard to tell. As multiplexing-gamer said, you could increase your mark if you thought of some more imaginative/alternative interpretations and looked a bit more beyond the obvious and link it to some of the novel's themes.

[Starrstruck]

(Original post by 123_456_789)
But this is literature, not language. They wouldn't get marked for anything like spellings or fluency etc., only the interpretations they make.



It seems quite good so far, especially considering it was written under timed conditions (I assume it was?). I think you can be relatively confident you would get an A for this, I mean this exemplar http://www.edexcel.com/migrationdocu...9-SampleAA.pdf got full marks and I didn't really think it was that good so it's hard to tell. As multiplexing-gamer said, you could increase your mark if you thought of some more imaginative/alternative interpretations and looked a bit more beyond the obvious and link it to some of the novel's themes.

Yes it was written under timed conditions - 20 minutes in fact. I agree with you about marks on fluency and spelling. You don't even have to have good vocabulary, you just need to communicate your ideas well. Thanks for the feedback.

[Clip]

If I was a relative of yours, I'd shoot myself.

[HarryPotterFanx]

For AQA you need to be original in your piece. Everyone can say simple points but you need to be able to make more imaginative points. In our class we write
P- Point
E- Evidence
A- Analysis
C- Connective. (So, think of what else it could mean)
A- Analysis again. :P

I'll say B/A.

It's a very good start though and I believe that you will do great on your exam or controlled assessment.

I got 27/30 on my Of Mice and Men.

You also NEED to comment on structure and how that affects Candy and also the language of Candy or how language is used to describe him. (you have to have these two things or it will lower your mark)

[Starrstruck]

(Original post by HarryPotterFanx)
For AQA you need to be original in your piece. Everyone can say simple points but you need to be able to make more imaginative points. In our class we write
P- Point
E- Evidence
A- Analysis
C- Connective. (So, think of what else it could mean)
A- Analysis again. :P

I'll say B/A.

It's a very good start though and I believe that you will do great on your exam or controlled assessment.

I got 27/30 on my Of Mice and Men.

You also NEED to comment on structure and how that affects Candy and also the language of Candy or how language is used to describe him. (you have to have these two things or it will lower your mark)

Yeah I agree, I'll keep the PEACA in mind when I write my next one. Thanks.