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Violent When Drunk

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    Usually I'm quite a nice guy. Sometimes I can be inconsiderate and I don't always say the right things to people but I like to think people think of me as a friendly well meaning sort of guy. The words soft and cuddly get thrown around a lot, much to my dismay :rolleyes:

    I don't know why but when I have a good drink it brings out horrible sides of me that I really didn't know I had. It swings between feeling suicidal and completely hopeless to extreme anger and aggression.

    I know it's normal to lose control of you're emotions after a few, but it's gotten to the point where I'm going from calling friends from the middle of a bypass asking them why I shouldn't do it, to trying to headbutt doors off it's hinges within the space of a few minutes.

    They only told me a few days ago how bad I've gotten, and more worryingly how scared they were after my last "episode". The thought that I'm scaring people I really care about put it into perspective and I'm going to cut right back on my drinking.

    But what's worrying me the most is where does all this anger come from.

    **Edit: I should have added that the only reason that I drink when I go out is to loosen up a bit and stop feeling so insecure.
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    (Original post by PinkyPurply)
    Usually I'm quite a nice guy. Sometimes I can be inconsiderate and I don't always say the right things to people but I like to think people think of me as a friendly well meaning sort of guy. The words soft and cuddly get thrown around a lot, much to my dismay :rolleyes:

    I don't know why but when I have a good drink it brings out horrible sides of me that I really didn't know I had. It swings between feeling suicidal and completely hopeless to extreme anger and aggression.

    I know it's normal to lose control of you're emotions after a few, but it's gotten to the point where I'm going from calling friends from the middle of a bypass asking them why I shouldn't do it, to trying to headbutt doors off it's hinges within the space of a few minutes.

    They only told me a few days ago how bad I've gotten, and more worryingly how scared they were after my last "episode". The thought that I'm scaring people I really care about put it into perspective and I'm going to cut right back on my drinking.

    But what's worrying me the most is where does all this anger come from.

    **Edit: I should have added that the only reason that I drink when I go out is to loosen up a bit and stop feeling so insecure.
    stop drinking..
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    It should be easy to tell the line between 'loosening up' and getting drunk. If you can't tell the difference then I recommend you stop drinking until you do.
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    (Original post by Fat-Love)
    It should be easy to tell the line between 'loosening up' and getting drunk. If you can't tell the difference then I recommend you stop drinking until you do.
    Without drinking, how are you going to know when you can tell the difference?




    OP: The anger probably comes from being a generally nice guy. I'd echo the feeling that you should stop drinking - if you're liked most of the time, why do you need to loosen up? Sounds as if you get on with people anyway.
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    Is there some underlying event/thing which could be making you feel that way? Might be worth some counselling to get it sorted out?
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    Drink past the aggressive stage.
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    Maybe the drink is just bringing out underlying emotions that you keep bottled up already. If so then you should address these issues directly
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    Ahh yeah, I've had a few of those nights recently, stress.

    One night I had a full on panic attack because of someone I was with, so I managed to compose myself and drink the bar dry. 4am rolls around I've walked said person home after being led out of the club, and somehow ended up in one of the more ghetto areas, about 3 miles out of my way. Checked my phone, oh god, texts. Crazy nights my friend, which I feel bad for doing but it's not like I'm going to stop drinking. Thats like a pro footballer giving up because of a knee graze.

    Wouldn't say I get aggressive, more self destructive. Broke my hand a few weeks ago, no matter how drunk I get I avoid hitting people because I don't want an assault charge, regardless of how much of a ****er they are.

    I choose the man going to the doctors method, ignore it, it'll probably go away in due course.
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    :eek: drink less ffs!
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    (Original post by Megaross)
    Ahh yeah, I've had a few of those nights recently, stress.

    One night I had a full on panic attack because of someone I was with, so I managed to compose myself and drink the bar dry. 4am rolls around I've walked said person home after being led out of the club, and somehow ended up in one of the more ghetto areas, about 3 miles out of my way. Checked my phone, oh god, texts. Crazy nights my friend, which I feel bad for doing but it's not like I'm going to stop drinking. Thats like a pro footballer giving up because of a knee graze.

    Wouldn't say I get aggressive, more self destructive. Broke my hand a few weeks ago, no matter how drunk I get I avoid hitting people because I don't want an assault charge, regardless of how much of a ****er they are.

    I choose the man going to the doctors method, ignore it, it'll probably go away in due course.
    This thread isn't about you and your bull ****.
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    (Original post by PinkyPurply)
    Usually I'm quite a nice guy. Sometimes I can be inconsiderate and I don't always say the right things to people but I like to think people think of me as a friendly well meaning sort of guy. The words soft and cuddly get thrown around a lot, much to my dismay :rolleyes:

    I don't know why but when I have a good drink it brings out horrible sides of me that I really didn't know I had. It swings between feeling suicidal and completely hopeless to extreme anger and aggression.

    I know it's normal to lose control of you're emotions after a few, but it's gotten to the point where I'm going from calling friends from the middle of a bypass asking them why I shouldn't do it, to trying to headbutt doors off it's hinges within the space of a few minutes.

    They only told me a few days ago how bad I've gotten, and more worryingly how scared they were after my last "episode". The thought that I'm scaring people I really care about put it into perspective and I'm going to cut right back on my drinking.

    But what's worrying me the most is where does all this anger come from.

    **Edit: I should have added that the only reason that I drink when I go out is to loosen up a bit and stop feeling so insecure.
    Sorry to hear this. As the others have said the only solution is to stop drinking and perhaps consider therapy to help you work out why you feel so insecure and why you have this anger in you.
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    OP, alcohol is one of the worst drugs out there. There are countless people just like you who get wasted, end up in fights, A&E or suicidal.

    The thing is - it's a mood elavator. So if you're sad & get drunk, you'll usually end up even more sad. If you're happy & you get drunk, you'll end up ecstatic. Taking this into account then, my logic says that for some reason (which may be obvious but difficult for you to see), you're generally quite sad or have underlying feelings of agression (either all the time or before nights out - the feeling of having a night out on the town can cause feelings of inadequacy, leading to sadness and/or aggression).

    I don't want to advocate the use of 'drugs' even though alcohol is a drug. But it's not the only thing out there you know. If you're careful and smart about it, you can lead a more mentally stable and physically healthy life using alternatives to alcohol.

    That's all I'm saying...

    Peace!
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    (Original post by Steezy)
    This thread isn't about you and your bull ****.
    Am I seeking advice? No I'm giving the guy experiential advice, so wind your neck in.
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    Drinking is bad? To each his/her own.
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    You might feel like you can't express your emotions and say to people what you actually feel when you are sober, so it all lashes out when you're lashed. I'm going to take a guess and say that, when you are sober, you don't get worked up about much at all and let many things go over your head?
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    I know a few people who turn into ********s when they drink, they know what they can be like but do it anyway, it's pathetic.

    You've said you're going to cut back so good for you as long as you stick to it and know your limits.
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    You might want to have a think about what it might be that makes you feel so insecure, relying on alcohol to alleviate this isn't good for your overall health and wellbeing. Most people act differently when they've had a bit to drink, but if something happens while you were being aggressive it's down to you for deciding to drink in the first place. If things don't improve and you feel the temptation to turn to drink when you're feeling down, speak to your GP for some advice. Your mind and liver will thank you!

    Good luck.
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    (Original post by hothedgehog)
    Is there some underlying event/thing which could be making you feel that way? Might be worth some counselling to get it sorted out?
    Lol, the answer to every problem ...

    OP - just don't drink, or limit yourself and actually stick to it. Surely, you know how many drinks it takes for you to 'loosen up'? Set a limit and once you've got to that stage, stick to non alcoholic drinks. The fact that you're an aggressive drunk doesn't necessarily mean you have underlying issues tbh ...
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    (Original post by Pitt1988)
    You might feel like you can't express your emotions and say to people what you actually feel when you are sober, so it all lashes out when you're lashed. I'm going to take a guess and say that, when you are sober, you don't get worked up about much at all and let many things go over your head?
    Yeah I try not to dwell on things I think will get me worked up.

    In response to everyone saying "just stop drinking" I've said that I'm cutting right back. Those answers are just telling me what I already know.
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    I find that drinking when I feel vulnerable makes me an angry drunk.
    More weirdly certain drinks can trigger reactions. The only time I have ever been violent when drinking I had had 8 cans of Stella Artois, I can't blame it on the drink, of course, but quite the coincidence.

    What I would suggest is having a drink or two in the evening when you aren't planning to go out, this will help you learn your limits (it did for me). I used to be a nightmare when I was drunk but have found that leaning to enjoy my drinks rather than drinking to get drunk has improved the way I am.

    On how I met your mother (yes I know it is a TV show) they said "nothing good happens after 2 am" Something I try to remember when getting too tipsy.

    I really do wish you the best of luck in your situation.

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