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My name is not "Hey Baby"

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If you dress like a slut then be prepared to be treated like one. That's all I'm sayin'.
Original post by Schemilix
1) Anyone calling OP sexist doesn't understand that many people regard sexiness as an attitude derived largely from charisma and behaviour, as much as physical appearance. There's also a difference between finding the face appealing and finding the body appealing.

2) If I see one more person blame women for dressing how they want for getting harassed, I will punch something. To compare a human being to property (in the first place, let alone to justify a point) is ridiculous - and also leaving one's door unlocked does not mean one was asking for it. The blame is always on the one breaking the law. If people were discouraged from harassment instead of being told, 'oh it's her fault if she's dressing badly!' or 'oh it's his fault, he's in prison he deserves to be raped!' is pretty damn terrible and frankly ridiculous.

'Oh, honey, you were raped? Better cover yourself up in future, sweetheart, it's all your fault, a man can't control his impulses around you, so it's your fault and not his!' Is a common mindset and is restrictive and insensitive towards the woman and contributes to a negative stereotype of men being brutish and sexually driven (and makes those very few men that are think that it's OK.)

So yes, your attitudes do matter. Everybody is entitled to think as they please, as I am entitled to point out that it contributes to unhealthy stereotypes and mental views.

(By the way a feminist is any man or woman who believes in equal rights for everyone regardless of sex and often gender to boot. Self-defined feminists and radical feminists may often exhibit bad behaviours, but most people are in fact 'feminists'. For the record I do not define myself as feminist, as this word is female-centric and undermines the suffering caused to men by gender-stereotyping and double standards, suffering which should never be ignored and should be treated as seriously as women, even if it is considered to be 'less common' (since men rarely report these things due to being forced by society to ignore their emotions and sadness, in case they are mocked!))

Just my two boondollars.


Amen.
Reply 103
Original post by HighestKungFu
So let me get this straight.

Women want men to do the approaching etc when it comes to 'making the first move' as a general rule, however don't want men to be flirty or use 'derogatory' phrases.

The women out there who aren't radical feminists also don't want men to pay them any attention whatsoever despite all the time, effort and money they put into their appearance. They want intelligent, matter of fact interactions where men never look at their breasts or compliment them on any aspect of their appearance whatsoever. If they do comment, it should be limited to expressions more typical of a country gentleman and not 'hey baby', the most offensive phrase in the English language.

I am of course being facetious and sarcastic. Feminists need to understand that not all women share their views, and some actually LIKE to be objectified and drooled over. Why do you think they go out on a Friday night with a skirt up to their knickers and breasts pushed up to the ceiling? So they can be completely ignored and have no 'perverted' men approach them. Yeah of course they do. And what about the legions of women who fall over themselves to have pictures taken for magazines such as Nuts and Zoo. Do you think they hate attention?

Feminists need to realise that not all women want the kind of equality and responsibility in society that they crave and realise that some actually like typical male attention.


Thing is with slutwalk is it isn't, and shouldn't be about normal guys going up to a girl in a bar and asking them out.

What it is actually seems to be about, and these seem pretty common experiences among my female friends, is leering chavvy guys sitting next to women on the train or buses or loitering around in the street; being physically imposing, incessently asking for their number and then saying nasty things to them and not going away or stopping when the women makes it clear when they are not interested.
Although you may not enjoy it, I don't think a passing comment or a wolf whistle from a passing tradesman, can be classed as street harassment. It may seem like harassment from the victim, but harassment has implication of it happening repeatedly, although it may have happen 5 times, the same person may not have done it 5 times.

Street harassment will probably soon by part of the law, to protect girls on the street, but if one comment can be classed as harassment, human interaction in any flirtatious manner will become legal or illegal purely depending on the whether the target enjoy the attentions or not. The difference between harassment and pulling would be a pretty fine line. It devalues the significance of physically imposing harassment or near stalking.

The larger point is objectification, which everyone does. Its natural you use your eyes to see someone until you know them they can be nothing more than an object. I think rather than trying to bury something that is not only natural, and IMO, completely hypocritical to oppose; the emphasis should be on people who still objectify people after meeting them. For girls this idea they are an accessory in the media should be a key point, how often in films, adverts, and such is the girl really no more than just decoration? They often have no character or are only there to make inane comments.
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 105
British men are ignorant and sexist. Fact. Feel sorry for the women :colonhash:
Sorry but if a girl is wearing a low top and short skirt thats barely covering her ass im going to look at her in a sexual manner, and i wont be shy about it
Original post by james1211
If you dress provacatively, you are doing so to attract guys attention. You can't pick and choose which guys will give you the attention because life doesn't work that way, so live it it i say.

Why else would you be dressing provacatively? For your own health?


here here to this!
Take this seemingly innocent (but rather crappy) Music video
[video="youtube;fWNaR-rxAic"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWNaR-rxAic[/video]

How many F-ing times do we see this guy shirtless?



Now let's reverse the gender roles... a camera gawking at a hot Model with "desirable" features on show. doesn't seem so innocent now, does it?

Men equally don't like being viewed as a pack of meat either, but half the population view seems to have double standards.
Reply 109
Women should be able to dress how they wish without being objectified. Yes usually the majority of girls wearing seriously short skirts and there boobs up to there chin are looking for attention and might not care what type of attention they attract. But increasingly short skirts and tops that expose some or most of your boobs are becoming very fashionable, bralets esp. I really think women should be respected no matter what they wear, though I think if you dress in a particular manner or go certain places like clubs you make yourself more vulnerable to men being disrespectful to you. Having said that Iv been out, fairly covered up ( full length trousers and a vest top (but one of the high neck ones)) and still been disrespected, having my ass felt and arm grabbed, not in clubs as well. Which I think is completly inappropiate and disgusting.
Reply 110
Original post by ConnorB
Take this seemingly innocent (but rather crappy) Music video
[video="youtube;fWNaR-rxAic"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWNaR-rxAic[/video]

How many F-ing times do we see this guy shirtless?



Now let's reverse the gender roles... a camera gawking at a hot Model with "desirable" features on show. doesn't seem so innocent now, does it?

Men equally don't like being viewed as a pack of meat either, but half the population view seems to have double standards.



Your point only proves that people are stupid and sometimes take things out of context.
During summer months in Britain, men are allowed strip to their underwear (no lie, I've seen it) and that's socially acceptable because people are too hot, can't wear clothes in this heat, blah blah blah. Women who wear shorts or miniskirts are instantly deemed whores despite being in said weather. Why? Does no one else smell hypocrisy?

I don't condone girls/women who wear skimpy clothing, there's more to beauty than essentially being naked in public, but judging from some of the comments on this thread what gives other people, young TSRian males in particular, the right to be able to disrespect someone because of the way they dress?

Tbh, all this 'if you wear slutty clothes men will look' is BS, men look anyway, slutty or classy or frumpy clothes don't stop the leers/comments.
Original post by Lil Piranha
There was a brilliant broadcast on Radio 4 a couple of days ago about the Slutwalks, street harassment and so forth :smile: if you haven't heard it I'd really encourage you to listen!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01g61w2

Just trying to spread the word / raise awareness; I'd be interested to hear your views!


I can't be arsed to listen to that, but your signature image is bloody confusing. The colour coding clearly turns it into

Every girls dream is to have a guy call her at 3am just to say, "hey the TARDIS and we need to go stop the Daleks from taking over the world again. What are you still doing in bed? Allons-y!" I just wanted to tell you I am outside of your window with


See, bloody confusing. :rolleyes:
Original post by cosmobear92
Tbh, all this 'if you wear slutty clothes men will look' is BS, men look anyway, slutty or classy or frumpy clothes don't stop the leers/comments.


I've found that a certain look does... :colonhash:
Original post by TheSownRose
I've found that a certain look does... :colonhash:


What's the secret? :ninja:
Original post by cosmobear92
What's the secret? :ninja:


Being a bit overweight and wearing loose clothes, glasses and no make up seems to do it. :colonhash:
Original post by Lil Piranha
But the OP is about harassment. Again, fancying someone is not.

If you had pictures of me then first of all I'd like to know where you got them as I certainly never posed for them and I probably don't know you so I can only assume you've been stalking me - definitely creepy and illegal. However, if a celebrity is intentionally posing for pictures in a bikini to put on posters to sell (which is where you'd get them from perfectly legally) for people to buy and do whatever with - fair enough. If I was a celebrity then personally I wouldn't be posing like that, but if they want to make money out of it then it's up to them! I'm still not sure where you're going with this. Harassing people on the street isn't really comparable to fancying a celebrity (unless you're going to stalk them of course).


OP you're probably butterz and are jealous of women who get these compliment such as ''hey baby''.
Original post by Arceus
Your point only proves that people are stupid and sometimes take things out of context.


Ok, then by that logic, OP is also stupid and taking things out of context.
Original post by Lil Piranha
Are you aware there's a huge difference between a compliment and harassment?? o.O

For instance, a few weeks ago (before the weather got ****) I walked past some people unloading something from a van. One of them said to me "Good morning miss, you look lovely today." That is nice, and is a compliment, and made me smile. It's respectful. And this guy was old enough to be my dad and getting a beer belly - not attractive to me - but still it's a nice compliment. It doesn't have to be an Adonis complimenting me to make me smile.

Another time I was walking past a shop and a man started to call out "Hey, hey angel!" along with kissing noises. That is harassment, not a compliment, because it's not respectful.

The amount of people confusing compliments with harassment/abuse on this thread is truly staggering...

As for the people saying "you shouldn't advertise yourself" or "don't dress provocatively" - at what point does jeans and a jumper become "advertising yourself" or "provocative"?? Would you have all women walk around in head to toe burkhas or never leave the house?


I personally think that's a bit over-sensitive. If he walked over to you, got in your way and said "I want to have sex with you", that's harrassment. You can choose to ignore what he's saying, he's not forcing you to listen to him or to do anything - might not be the nicest way of saying you're attractive, and the kissing noises are a bit iffy, but I highly doubt he meant anything malicious by it.

However, I guess the way he said it could be seen as being insulting. What I object to, is that there are some feminists I've seen posts from on these and other forums, and also newspaper quotes and things, where if a man calls a woman beautiful or pretty or even dares to look at her, they say it's harassment and objectification.

It's like, I am blessed with big boobs - sometimes, guys look at them. I don't object to that, because they're just looking, what's the harm in it? If they compliment them, I tend to just laugh because it shows they're confident. If they tried anything on, I'd make sure they know where to go - and if I didn't, my boyfriend would. But that's the thing - just by looking or voicing their appreciation, I don't feel objectified, I feel complimented!
Reply 119
Original post by HighestKungFu
So let me get this straight.

Women want men to do the approaching etc when it comes to 'making the first move' as a general rule, however don't want men to be flirty or use 'derogatory' phrases.

The women out there who aren't radical feminists also don't want men to pay them any attention whatsoever despite all the time, effort and money they put into their appearance. They want intelligent, matter of fact interactions where men never look at their breasts or compliment them on any aspect of their appearance whatsoever. If they do comment, it should be limited to expressions more typical of a country gentleman and not 'hey baby', the most offensive phrase in the English language.

I am of course being facetious and sarcastic. Feminists need to understand that not all women share their views, and some actually LIKE to be objectified and drooled over. Why do you think they go out on a Friday night with a skirt up to their knickers and breasts pushed up to the ceiling? So they can be completely ignored and have no 'perverted' men approach them. Yeah of course they do. And what about the legions of women who fall over themselves to have pictures taken for magazines such as Nuts and Zoo. Do you think they hate attention?

Feminists need to realise that not all women want the kind of equality and responsibility in society that they crave and realise that some actually like typical male attention.


Agreed - but it isn't a good thing.

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