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Social Life Ruined Because Of Awful Flatmates?.......Learn From My First Year

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    I'm writing this with single intention of giving advice to people in my situation, and those who don't know it yet, but will find themselves in come mid September. I came to University in Sheffield, Hallam to be specific. And although I have come to love the city, my course and student life in general with its added freedom. I unfortunately ended up in the situation only known as "I have ****ing awful flatmates".

    I wasn't naive, I new full well what a first year entailed. Being chucked into the mix with strangers with only the laws of chance determining if said people you're about to share your next year with are your type of people, never mind tolerable. At first I socialised in the flat, quickly determining they were not my type of people. To this day they have remained the type that go out every single night and come in at 4am in a large group only to pick up the PS3 controller and play for hours. The kind of people to use your cooking utensils without asking, never mind washing them up afterwards, take up every possible once of fridge space leaving little for you, never clean and make every kitchen surface look like an alleyway in Calcutta. Never mind the noise day and night through loud music and constant sex, which the cheap paper thin walls provided by the robbing bastards at the student accommodation company, Unite to be exact, are no barrier to anything more than a whisper. Unfortunately I don't think anybody in the history of man has had sex and only whispered........Again, I'm not naive, I know full well what the "student life" is, and although I don't mind putting ear phones in every now and then for my sake. It becomes a ****ing piss take when you do it for hours every single night.......

    If your reading this as someone who is going to University this September take note, don't be fooled into the "I'll make friends with everybody on my course and it'll all be okay if the above situation happens to me". From what I've experienced, many people base their social lives, especially first years, around their flatmates......I've seen that girls tend to break the ice far easier and will see more of each other outside time tabled seminars and lectures. Guys on the other hand, if they have really good flatmates, will be great friends during uni hours, but you will see little of them outside for your first year. A sad fact I've discovered as a male.

    The advice I will give anyone, specifically if your going to University this September, is do everything you can to not have the above life described. People will say the uni years fly by, but when your stuck in this situation, and all you see scattered on Facebook is that of your friends in other universities posting "omg, love life at uni" "what a night out, met some amazing people" it goes very slow!

    Admittedly, my first year hasn't be too low that I regret coming. I initially joined a number of clubs being the outdoor person I am, and them along with the unusually strange number of friends from my home school who also chose Sheffield to come to University have made the bulk of my social life. I sit here now writing this, with the end of my last term of this year in sight, and the prospects of next year, living with great friends, in a far higher standard of accommodation, as a person heavily involved in the kayaking club, a sport I have always been passionate about which alone should boost my social life and the better year in the course I'm studying ahead, I guess I'm able to make the most of my bad situation and say "It'll be better next year" now I'm so close to the end..........

    But for the love of God heed my advice. If you're taking your first steps into adult life, and the whirl wind that is University where ever that may be, please don't pay the extortionate fees plus expenses to sit within 4 walls going crazy from a lack of a social life. Don't be the person who wanders twice around the sports fair and doesn't sign up for anything. It is a constant source of friends, nights out and like minded people which may end up saving your University life down the line.

    The worst part of this situation? You don't realise you're in it until the first month. Don't wait to find yourself there.......
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    (Original post by WL599)
    To this day they have remained the type that go out every single night and come in at 4am in a large group only to pick up the PS3 controller and play for hours. The kind of people to use your cooking utensils without asking, never mind washing them up afterwards, take up every possible once of fridge space leaving little for you, never clean and make every kitchen surface look like an alleyway in Calcutta.
    I misread this and thought you were having a go at your flat mates for being normal trying to read at 4.30 in the morning lol.

    This is what I am dreading xD being lumped with a bunch of inconsiderate dicks for a whole year.. suppose its just bad luck though eh
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    I actually agree with you and can relate very strongly. I also go to (am about to finish at!) Sheffield Hallam and also had the misfortune of being lumped with a group of people I had nothing in common with. They weren't as bad as your lot from the sound of it, but they did eat my food, use my stuff, have huge groups of loud people round taking over the kitchen etc... And we just didn't get on. They were all 'sports science' people (nothing wrong with that) and I'm on the english course. Don't know which bright spark thought that was going to be a good idea...

    Anyway, looking back, I'm glad I did it but ONLY because if I hadn't, I would always have been wondering if I'd missed out. I have now lived with my SO for the past 2 years and uni in general has become a much happier experience.

    I'd like to add that, after first year, especially if you're no longer living in halls, university stops being such a big part of your life. Obviously you're still a student, but you don't define yourself as being a 'fresher' any more, the pressure to make friends and go out is much, much less, and you can just concentrate on getting on with other things rather than worrying about your flatmates or fitting in. You settle into friendship groups, get comfortable in the city, grow up, take up some hobbies. I HATED first year, but have loved uni since moving out of halls.

    To those who are in this situation... with horrible flatmates in halls, feeling miserable, etc. Don't despair, it gets so much better, you just need to put some (a lot) of distance between yourself and that environment next year.

    Edited to add: ALSO, if you are unhappy in the first few weeks/ months of uni, going on facebook is one of the worst things you can do. Nothing made me feel worse than seeing all my friends, like the OPs, talking about how many friends they have and their nights out etc. STAY AWAY from facebook unless you are going to use it for some reason like messaging someone in particular. It will only make you feel worse (but remember, people only post stuff on facebook that they want others to see/ to look good to everyone else. it doesn't necessarily mean that they are really happy)
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    I didn't get along with my first flat either, banging and kicking stuff at 3am like morons. I moved flats and I'm much happier now. My advice is move flats ASAP, you don't want to spend the whole year in misery... with your sleep being messed up and affecting your health and work etc.
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    FACT: nope girls are no better.

    Just to warn you my first year in halls has cost me nearly £200 from flatmates breaking my stuff or eating it. but they don't see the problem as they are on £200 a week. I'm on £50 so I do. I really do.

    also if you like things to be clean don't put yourself through halls you are being naive if you think that your OCD will keep the place clean. It will just give you a stress disorder. Our draining board, the place where you put stuff you just cleaned, is a sheet of mould.
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    Thanks for the read, it was good. I've been put in a similar situation but not amazingly bad. My housemates are pretty sweet but the block we live in at our halls is terrible. The first couple of months were fine but then drama started happening and now my flat and another flat are "outcasts" from the popular "cool kids." We don't care we still go out and have a laugh but seeing them is just awkward.

    Our flat and the other flat are getting houses close to each other so thats a bonus
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    Thanks for the heads up!
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    I can exactly relate to your experince too. I am also at Hallam, now a third year and only have two weeks to go before my degree is complete !!

    my time in first year was almost identical to yours, being a fairly quiet person too this made life even more tricky.

    No one else ever did any tidying up, washing up cleaning, all the things you included i ended up doing it all for everyone for the entire year, people couldn't even put the rubish in the correct bins, the amount of times half eaten pot noodles were thrown all over the recycling was incredible, even despite being asked nicely not to do it.

    It just carried on getting a worse and worse throughout my first year, we even had the flat broken into by some loon who completly trashed the place one night.

    One of the males i was living with even started taking drugs and smoking in the flat, which was beyond words terrible!

    I think one of the lowest points during first year was one of my flat mates had gone out and come back at 6am so completely drunk he then threw up all over the shared bathroom and never bothered to clear it up, meaning no one could use it. As usual I was left to deal with it! Never again could I put myself through this experience!

    I even asked to be moved, nothing was done, i was just ignored!

    As a result of first year being such a disaster my course not really being as planned, i ended up in halls again for a second year, thankfully a different one whcih was much nicer accommodation with my own bathroom , if you can afford to do it you really won't reget it!! Things went alot better in second year but still wasn't keen on the idea of halls esp not for a third time.

    I'm pleased to say that for my third and final year i decided to go into rented accommodation on my own, one of the best things i have done while being at uni.

    Anyone out there reading this who is coming to hallam make sure its 100% what you want, i wasn't sure if uni was me for but dedcided to give it a go, in a way personally i think it was the wrong decision, I have very limited happy memories of my time and am so thankfull all i have left is three exams and can't wait to leave for good.

    Don't want to put anyone off but halls can be a nightmare!!
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    Well, (you could say I'm being naive) once I start Uni this september I will let everyone know that yes I am a cool friendly guy but DO NOT mess around with my stuff e.g food or there will be trouble! :mrt: If I get this clear to my flatmates within the 1st two weeks surely no problem would escalate?
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    Gotta be honest I'm the type of person you described, someone who's very loud and comes in at 4, so I guess I should get on alright in halls in september, the only time I wouldn't be noisy is if someone actually told me not to be

    Althought I completely agree on the friends in uni hours, it's like at at college now, there like your bestfriends during college, but barely talk to you on the weekends
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    (Original post by WizzleKidd)
    Well, (you could say I'm being naive) once I start Uni this september I will let everyone know that yes I am a cool friendly guy but DO NOT mess around with my stuff e.g food or there will be trouble! :mrt: If I get this clear to my flatmates within the 1st two weeks surely no problem would escalate?
    You'd think that... but some people are d***s.
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    I am going into private accommodation straight off in the first year, its not like a private house but private flats, and I shall be sharing one with 5 other people, generally first years don't go for these so it will be mainly 2nd/3rd years, but I thought it was a better deal...... do you think my experience will be better or worse for it ?
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    i opted to stay in halls first year because i did not want to miss out on the social experience of uni but im getting worried now.
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    My flatmates weren't awful but it was quite awkward..

    I first moved in and realised even though I was a first year I was the oldest (only 19/20!)
    I had an en-suite so I thought it would be okay. Was I wrong!
    There is 8 to a flat and little did I know there would be 2 couples in the flat (1 Romanian and 1 English), a Chinese girl who would cook food at 3am and wake me up, a guy opposite who had friends round every night, another guy who would bring his friends round and ruin the place (broke the security telephone..) and a girl that thankfully I got on with and she was kind of normal haha.
    The Romanian couple would have sex all day long! And because we had vents above our doors the noise was unbearable. A few times we would ask them to just keep it down! And the arguments they had were just as bad. The other couple.. Well I never heard them! No one did washing up and if things were left on the tops the cleaner would put it all on the table. No one used the table.. Milk was left to solidify, everyone bought food and would take up all the freezer space, I had to share with someone else who took over the whole shelf. Nightmare.
    No one would socialise with each other and we went out as a flat twice.. It was extremely awkward. It's fair to say I don't really want to see them again and I am glad next year I am not living with them! I won't be staying in halls again it really kind of ruined what I had in mind
    It won't be like that for everyone! My advice is to change flats asap if you don't like it there!
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    This is one of the things I'm most nervous about going to uni... whilst I'm not a particularly tidy person (things end up being left everywhere by me ) I'm mad on hygeine so there will never be any mould or anything in my flat because I don't care if it's my fault or someone else's, any stains or spillages WILL be cleaned up even if I do it all myself

    And as for sharing food... all my stuff is going to be Aldi basics so not sure if anyone would actually want to steal my stuff when I'm sure there'll be plenty of posher stuff from the other people to steal
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    My flatmates aren't dreadful- its just that we have nothing in common and its a bit awkward.. Our flat is messy but not unhygenic, and the only arguments have been me and one other flatmate bc we just clash personalities.. I'm kind of dreading going back and would love to move into a shared house (cheaper and nicer and wouldn't feel so depressing), but i'm worried I'll regret it if i do, and that I'll miss out on friends that I could possibly make.. (I need to make more friends, my boyfriend is having the most amazing social life whereas mine is mediocre at best). What do you think I should do? Stick it out or move and maybe make awesome new friends or possibly have a similar experience..


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