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"Oh, I only dress up for myself" - really?

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    (Original post by Barden)
    But looking good is subjective, reliant on what others think of you.

    You feel confident because you feel attractive.
    forget it, dude - that extra step of reasoning is one too far for most people to grasp. They don't know why they do what they do and have no wish to look any deeper.
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    (Original post by hippieglitter)
    Is it all about nights out though? People dress up on all sorts of occasions I put make-up on and dress smartly to go to an interview but I'm not doing it cos I want the interviewer to fancy me I do it cos it makes me feel confident and a little bit of confidence just might help me get a job.
    Surely you dress smartly for interviews because otherwise you won't get the job irrespective of whether or not you feel confident. You're still dressing up for your prospective employer, ultimately, not you.

    Anyway, I never said it was limited to people fancying you. I was careful to phrase it more generally - you might dress up to gain the esteem of your friends or the jealousy of other girls. The confidence derived from looking good is arbitrary and baseless unless you know that other people value it too.
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    (Original post by Barden)
    But looking good is subjective, reliant on what others think of you.

    You feel confident because you feel attractive.
    Well I dress up to look my kind of good. I know not everyone would find it attractive. I show either my legs or my arms/bust- never both. Not everyone would think that was "dressing up" but that's plenty for me
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    (Original post by apostrophe87)
    Nearly all girls seem to say "oh I don't dress up for guys, I only dress up for myself". But then how come you only dress up when you are meeting people and not when you are planning on spending the whole night alone in your apartment?

    .
    My dear boy, you lose the argument with the female population the second you bring a logical argument to them.

    They're not a logical species as you should/will find out.
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    (Original post by HARRY PUTAH)
    My dear boy, you lose the argument with the female population the second you bring a logical argument to them.

    They're not a logical species as you should/will find out.
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    I think dressing up for a night out for me is a bonding experience, I have my friends over, we pick out what to wear, mess about with hairstyles and makeup, for me it's the most fun part of a night out :')
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    I tend to wear make up and dress nice even if I'm not planning on leaving the house. If I don't, I feel like a slob and my day is never as constructive. I love putting make up on and choosing clothes to wear - its fun!

    I don't think it's necessarily true that girls go out wanting the approval of other people - if people say an outfit looks gorgeous on me but I don't think it does, then I wont wear it.
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    Dressing up for others doesn't equate to dressing up for guys. Otherwise, why would girls at all-girls school care about their appearance?! Most girls make an effort because a) picking out nice outfits, doing your make-up and styling your hair is fun b) everyone likes having something pretty to look at when they stare in the mirror c) a lot of girls are appreciative of fashion and style, and you'll find many girls who would be much more delighted by a female friend saying "Wow, I love how you've accessorised that dress, it works so well, and where did you buy those shoes?!" than a guy saying "You look fit". Dressing up is a way of expressing oneself, so it's fundamentally both about doing it for yourself, and for other people, as you can't really be expressing yourself if you have no one to express to.
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    I dress up just to sit at home and watch tv :')
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    I'll rifle through my wardrobe and put something sexy on and wear high heels and curl my hair for no reason at all. The bf came home from work before I had time to go back to my sloppy jammies and that was weird. Tbh I do it everytime I clear out the wardrobe or am bored at home. :mmm:

    Also some mornings I want to wear sexy underwear for no reason at all other than to make myself feel good tbh.

    I also dress up to go out because I like to see myself look presentable and fresh rather than the ragged beast I see at work every day.
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    Sometimes, when im bored, I put a lot of make up on and do my hair, just to experiment and copy certain looks I've seen somewhere. I dont go out like that.

    But no, of course people dress up to look good for others. First impressions count for a lot, and looking presentable definitley contributes to gaining employment, friends, better treatment from strangers...
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    It's funny that this topic turned up just now actually. Because I've just spent a good hour and a half doing my hair, nails, makeup and dressing up, and I'm just about to spend the next two hours on my own with a tub of haagen dazs, catching up on Game of Thrones.

    I like decorating myself, I'm like my own portable christmas tree.
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    (Original post by NB_ide)
    So it's about getting attention and making people think you're hot and want to go home with you.... but it's NOT about flaunting your assets or showing off?

    I don't understand. Sounds like all the same thing, to me. Not that any of that is a bad thing, which some girls seem to think.
    I meant that some women dress up for the confidence that looking your best gives you- rather than specifically to get noticed if that makes sense.

    In my post they do sound like mroe or less the same, but the objective of getting 'dressed up' is to get confidence rather than a shag at the end of the night. Not that some women don't dress up to go on the pull.
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    (Original post by stac4321)
    I meant that some women dress up for the confidence that looking your best gives you- rather than specifically to get noticed if that makes sense.
    Yes we know, and we agree. So now let's take it a step further and look more closely. WHY does dressing in that way make her feel "confident" and generally good? I propose that it's because she thinks other people think she looks attractive, and she is excited and pleased by attention (potential or realised). So, yes, it comes back to being a "selfish" act, but via being something for other people.

    In my post they do sound like mroe or less the same, but the objective of getting 'dressed up' is to get confidence rather than a shag at the end of the night. Not that some women don't dress up to go on the pull.
    Yea no one is saying that they will necessarily want to make use of the attention they get - the attention is the end in itself and not just a means to get some cock.
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    (Original post by minimarshmallow)
    I make sure I look good even if I'm staying in. Unless I feel ill or overly tired or whatever I always apply make up and make my hair look presentable even if I'm just gonna be sat at my desk doing work all day or tidying my room and doing dishes, because it makes me feel good and I don't spend the entire day catching sight of myself in the bathroom mirror and then obsessing for half an hour...
    Now I do make a bit more effort if I'm going to be going on a night out, but that's because there tend to be cameras there.
    Same! I just feel nicer and readier to do work
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    (Original post by Barden)
    But looking good is subjective, reliant on what others think of you.

    You feel confident because you feel attractive.
    Looking good is reliant on what you think other people think of you, it doesn't matter what they actually think.
    Everyone judges people by different standards, and they happen to be the standards that they judge themselves by. It's called the self-reference effect. You dress to what you think other people will find attractive, when it's really what you find attractive.
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    (Original post by I<3LAMP)
    I'll rifle through my wardrobe and put something sexy on and wear high heels and curl my hair for no reason at all. The bf came home from work before I had time to go back to my sloppy jammies and that was weird. Tbh I do it everytime I clear out the wardrobe or am bored at home. :mmm:

    Also some mornings I want to wear sexy underwear for no reason at all other than to make myself feel good tbh.

    I also dress up to go out because I like to see myself look presentable and fresh rather than the ragged beast I see at work every day.
    Exactly! I think the women who actually dress nicely even when they're alone are the ones who are dressing up for themselves, whereas those who slob around at home then suddenly transform when they go out are those possibly dressing to feel attractive around other people.


    (Original post by ~Kat~)
    It's funny that this topic turned up just now actually. Because I've just spent a good hour and a half doing my hair, nails, makeup and dressing up, and I'm just about to spend the next two hours on my own with a tub of haagen dazs, catching up on Game of Thrones.

    I like decorating myself, I'm like my own portable christmas tree.
    Amazing
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    (Original post by minimarshmallow)
    Looking good is reliant on what you think other people think of you, it doesn't matter what they actually think.
    Everyone judges people by different standards, and they happen to be the standards that they judge themselves by. It's called the self-reference effect. You dress to what you think other people will find attractive, when it's really what you find attractive.
    So on a conscious level, you're still dressing for the sake of others...
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    (Original post by Barden)
    So on a conscious level, you're still dressing for the sake of others...
    You might think you are, but you're dressing to your own standards so you're not really. For example, I always make sure I wear eye-make up even if I don't put any other make up on (sometimes just mascara) but that's because I place a lot of emphasis on other people's eyes, so it's also what I place emphasis on for myself - I assume people are like me so I apply the self-reference effect, often falsely.

    Although I should point out that this isn't always the case. Sometimes putting on a nice outfit and some make-up just makes you more productive through classical conditioning. For example, if I stay in my PJs I will get less work done because they're the clothes I wear for sleep, but if I get dressed and wear make-up I'll get more work done because I'm dressed the same was as I would be in a lecture.
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    (Original post by Jeester)
    Unbelievable tekkers.

    One of the best arguments I've seen on this site.
    Well done.
    *fans self* Thank you! :hat2:





    To expand on my earlier post, where the thread seems to be going - the way you dress yourself up and present yourself is ultimately expressing yourself and your sense of identity. Even if you dress in a bizarre fashion that most people don't appreciate, you wouldn't do it if there was literally no outside benefit - even when some mouthy lad is saying 'Wtf're you wearing, you ****ing lesbian... (et al)', there's some part of you saying, 'I don't find you attractive either, you ignoramus, but one day I'll find someone/there are decent people who appreciate(s) me!'

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