The Student Room Group

"Oh, I only dress up for myself" - really?

Nearly all girls seem to say "oh I don't dress up for guys, I only dress up for myself". But then how come you only dress up when you are meeting people and not when you are planning on spending the whole night alone in your apartment?

I imagine a girl who only dress up for herself would put on make-up, a tight dress, do her hair and nails and all that, and then just slack alone in her sofa wathing TV.

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Maybe it's because they want to feel confident and happy with their appearance in public? Perhaps girls don't dress up when they're at home alone because they want to relax? Have you not noticed that girls who have boyfriends dress up too, even if they're not going out with their boyfriend?

Not everything a girl does in this world is for the benefit of males. If all girls went out wearing old trackies and baggy t shirts, you'd be complaining that girls don't make an effort and you think they should have a bit more pride in themselves.
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 2
I dress-up for myself. But then I also happen to be a colossal narcissist.
It doesn't make complete sense, you're right. I think it's just a poor way of describing that it's a bit more general than people sometimes assume - but also something that some girls don't really realise they are doing. Take a girl who dresses up the nines to go clubbing - "for herself" - she wants to look hot enough to bang, but that doesn't mean she wants to bang anyone particularly. But no one wants to be rejected, even if they're not looking for anything - it would bother a lot of girls if she walked past a bunch of sex-hungry men (not saying all men are like that, you know the type I mean at clubs) and they didn't bat an eyelid. It doesn't mean she's a power-hungry, egotistical bitch who wants to tempt men and then let them down. She just wants confirmation she's attractive to the general public, so when she does meet someone she likes, when she is in the mood for something, she feels confident from general approval that she has a chance.
Reply 4
Original post by StefanieLouise
Maybe it's because they want to feel confident and happy with their appearance in public? Perhaps girls don't dress up when they're at home alone because they want to relax? Have you not noticed that girls who have boyfriends dress up too, even if they're not going out with their boyfriend?

Not everything a girl does in this world is for the benefit of males. If all girls went out wearing old trackies and baggy t shirts, you'd be complaining that girls don't make an effort and you think they should have a bit more pride in themselves.


But if we decide to look at it that way everything we do will be for ourselves, even giving charity would be for our own pleasure as we feel good about ourselves and boost our self-esteem when we help others.

Thinking about it, I think you gave me the perfect answer; girls say "I only dress up for myself" but what they mean is that they dress up for others so that they can feel good about themselves.
Reply 5
Original post by takethyfacehence
It doesn't make complete sense, you're right. I think it's just a poor way of describing that it's a bit more general than people sometimes assume - but also something that some girls don't really realise they are doing. Take a girl who dresses up the nines to go clubbing - "for herself" - she wants to look hot enough to bang, but that doesn't mean she wants to bang anyone particularly. But no one wants to be rejected, even if they're not looking for anything - it would bother a lot of girls if she walked past a bunch of sex-hungry men (not saying all men are like that, you know the type I mean at clubs) and they didn't bat an eyelid. It doesn't mean she's a power-hungry, egotistical bitch who wants to tempt men and then let them down. She just wants confirmation she's attractive to the general public, so when she does meet someone she likes, when she is in the mood for something, she feels confident from general approval that she has a chance.


What a soul-crushingly fair and impartial response.
Reply 6
Original post by Profesh
I dress-up for myself. But then I also happen to be a colossal narcissist.
Tell us something we don't already know. :rolleyes:
Original post by apostrophe87
Nearly all girls seem to say "oh I don't dress up for guys, I only dress up for myself". But then how come you only dress up when you are meeting people and not when you are planning on spending the whole night alone in your apartment?

I imagine a girl who only dress up for herself would put on make-up, a tight dress, do her hair and nails and all that, and then just slack alone in her sofa wathing TV.


How do you know what girls are wearing when they're at home?
I know lots of girls who do their hair and make up just for fun, to sit around the house.
Girls don't normally "dress up" to sit in, simply because pjs or sweats are more comfy.
Reply 8
Original post by PoGo HoPz
Tell us something we don't already know. :rolleyes:


Contrary to a widespread misconception the 'oe' spelling of 'fetus' is derived not from Ancient Greek (as so often argued), but rather Mediæval Latin, making its modern usage a kind of barbarism.
Reply 9
Little girl's play dress up for fun so why can't women do that too?

I do it to look nice and feel confident. Even though i'm a grown woman I still like to play dress up.
Original post by Popppppy
How do you know what girls are wearing when they're at home?
I know lots of girls who do their hair and make up just for fun, to sit around the house.
Girls don't normally "dress up" to sit in, simply because pjs or sweats are more comfy.


My family thinks I'm mad because I always put on at least decent clothes and wear makeup even if no other human will see my face. My sister just can't understand why, but I honestly feel rubbish slobbing around all day in massive pyjamas and no makeup :|
Reply 11
I dress up because it's fun. I love the whole getting ready process. :P
I don't "dress up" if I'm at home since I'm at home :lolwut:

But I do put on make up or trying new things with my hair sometimes to see how it looks and if I want to try it outside, i like to experiment sometimes it's just out of habit.
I only dress up when my jeans are in the wash ;-) last options...
And then....I think I gave my last skirt away recently.
Reply 14
Original post by StefanieLouise
Maybe it's because they want to feel confident and happy with their appearance in public?


Exactly, yes - that's what he's saying.

Perhaps girls don't dress up when they're at home alone because they want to relax? Have you not noticed that girls who have boyfriends dress up too, even if they're not going out with their boyfriend?


What's that got to do with anything?

Not everything a girl does in this world is for the benefit of males.


No one said it was. We're talking about one particular thing here.


If all girls went out wearing old trackies and baggy t shirts, you'd be complaining that girls don't make an effort and you think they should have a bit more pride in themselves.


Possibly, but irrelevant. I don't think anyone's complaining about girls making themselves look better, or attempting to.


Original post by apostrophe87
But if we decide to look at it that way everything we do will be for ourselves, even giving charity would be for our own pleasure as we feel good about ourselves and boost our self-esteem when we help others.

Thinking about it, I think you gave me the perfect answer; girls say "I only dress up for myself" but what they mean is that they dress up for others so that they can feel good about themselves.


Yes, I don't know why they're so embarrassed to say it's so that they can feel that other people seeing them think they're attractive. It's for their own benefit via other people's benefit. Girl makes herself look sexy, gets attention and thinks everyone wants to bang her, feels complimented and happy. <-- doing it "for herself"


either that or it's a total coincidence that how girls try to look "to feel better about themselves" is exactly what men find attractive.
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 15
Original post by Linzikins
Little girl's play dress up for fun so why can't women do that too?

I do it to look nice and feel confident. Even though i'm a grown woman I still like to play dress up.


I don't think anyone said you can't. I certainly like girls who dress up!
Reply 16
Women dress up for themselves, because the attention they get from women and men alike makes them feel confident. It's not about trying to pull, or trying to flaunt your assests or show off or anything like that. You want to look nice enough that people think your hot and want to go home with you. Doesn't mean your going home with them.
Reply 17
Original post by stac4321
Women dress up for themselves, because the attention they get from women and men alike makes them feel confident. It's not about trying to pull, or trying to flaunt your assests or show off or anything like that. You want to look nice enough that people think your hot and want to go home with you. Doesn't mean your going home with them.


This. Very well said. :yep:

<3 x
Original post by apostrophe87
Nearly all girls seem to say "oh I don't dress up for guys, I only dress up for myself". But then how come you only dress up when you are meeting people and not when you are planning on spending the whole night alone in your apartment?

I imagine a girl who only dress up for herself would put on make-up, a tight dress, do her hair and nails and all that, and then just slack alone in her sofa wathing TV.


I make sure I look good even if I'm staying in. Unless I feel ill or overly tired or whatever I always apply make up and make my hair look presentable even if I'm just gonna be sat at my desk doing work all day or tidying my room and doing dishes, because it makes me feel good and I don't spend the entire day catching sight of myself in the bathroom mirror and then obsessing for half an hour...
Now I do make a bit more effort if I'm going to be going on a night out, but that's because there tend to be cameras there.
Original post by takethyfacehence
It doesn't make complete sense, you're right. I think it's just a poor way of describing that it's a bit more general than people sometimes assume - but also something that some girls don't really realise they are doing. Take a girl who dresses up the nines to go clubbing - "for herself" - she wants to look hot enough to bang, but that doesn't mean she wants to bang anyone particularly. But no one wants to be rejected, even if they're not looking for anything - it would bother a lot of girls if she walked past a bunch of sex-hungry men (not saying all men are like that, you know the type I mean at clubs) and they didn't bat an eyelid. It doesn't mean she's a power-hungry, egotistical bitch who wants to tempt men and then let them down. She just wants confirmation she's attractive to the general public, so when she does meet someone she likes, when she is in the mood for something, she feels confident from general approval that she has a chance.

Just fantastic.

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