[Anonymous]

This post might be a bit TL;DR but I hope someone will understand and relate to me so I don't feel like a freak. So here goes..

Pretty much most of my life I've been shy. Always blended in to the backgrounds, never used to speak, had few friends etc. I then got to secondary school and was messed around with in year 7, 8 and 9 by bullies. Taunted for being a geek, had stupid names shouted at me, things thrown at me in class, guys pulling my hair as well as girls (I'm a girl) and I think this is where the anxiety began. Ever since then, I've had an intense fear of social situations. Anything that involves communicating with people or being out of my comfort zone terrifies me.

Moving to university has been the most terrifying thing I've ever done and I'm just a mess at the moment. I have made great friends on my course and I'm moving in with them next year but living in halls has been hell. My flatmates are classic extroverts who pretty much take the piss out of anyone a bit different to them so I spend as much time away from the flat as possible. I just feel crippled by this anxiety. I can't go out and enjoy clubbing like everyone in university does and I feel like people don't understand me. If I explained I had social anxiety, they might get it. I'll risk looking like a freak though. The only people that know about my anxiety are my mum and my boyfriend who are amazing at understanding how I feel. I just hide in my room all the time. When they bring their friends over or get drunk, I just feel like I want to die as dramatic as it sounds. I have a constant fear of being judged and ridiculed and even walking down the street alone in the middle of the day terrifies me and I can't even explain why. Please, if someone has felt the same way, reassure me that I'm not going crazy. I'm just a wreck and this is the only place I thought of turning to. Thanks for reading.

[forgetamine]

I've felt the same way, there's definitely something you can do about it. You should see your GP and they will tell you what you should do about it. They most likely are going to put you on medication and tell you to see a counsellor to work out why you're scared and how you can cope with it.
Living in halls can be horrible for people with anxiety. I hope you're moving in with your friends next year.

[Red Lightning]

Just throw yourself in there and get involved.Dont think, just get involved, the more you think the more reasons you will find shy away from situations.

[buildalegohouse]

Wow. Reading your post is like looking in the mirror. I can totally relate to your situation. So it's official, you aren't going crazy.


I was bullied throughout my entire school life for being quiet and shy, and doing my work while everyone else dossed around. I used to feel physically sick when I had to read aloud in class, or do presentations because I felt way out of my comfort zone, I hated having the attention.

I get nervous when I go out anywhere too. Doesn't matter where, I still get nervous- particularly somewhere new. So trust me, you aren't alone.

I'm 17, and I'm heading to Uni, and if I was going to live in the halls, I would be doing the exact same thing. I'd get nervous about going clubbing, and I'd be nervous about not going. I'd hide away in my room, because I like to be alone and away from the people that intimidate me. Bloody hell, I even get that nervous when someone serves me in a shop because I think that they're judging or ridiculing me about my appearence and stuff.

People can't simply tell you to make new friends, or go out more, because you can't. What you have is long-term problem and it can't be solved so easily. I'm pretty sure I have the same dilemma and it is currently ruining my life...everything you just said I can identify with.

My advice? Step back away from the halls-- maybe move back in with your parents (if it is possible) or try and get your own place away from these people. You clearly need space to think things over and RELAX.
Don't try to change yourself with a snap of your fingers, it doesn't work like that-- I've tried, and I'm still anxious in new situations. You need to slowly build up your confidence, and get yourself involved in new situations gradually. Even the smallest things make a difference. Try going for a walk, and greet the people you pass, wish them a good day, or say hello. You'll feel so much better.


You could always see your GP and get some councelling, but I know, if someone said that to me, I'd be terrified at the prospect of pouring my heart out to a stranger when there's so much stuff going through my head. It's hard to channel your feelings into words properly, but then again, it's your choice.

It's be nice to hear from you again, because I think you and I have a lot in common with each other. And thankyou for posting, I thought I was alone with this problem. If there's anything, anything at all you want to ask, feel free to PM me.

[wanderlust.xx]

Hmm, I understand. I had a rough time at school and especially sixth form, and I've met some really nice people at university even though I haven't really connected with more than one or two.

Before I give some concrete advice I think it might help if you had a bit of a background on me:

In first year I really wanted to just be normal. I wanted to go to university and have some normal experiences and feel like I'd lived my life a little. I did, to a certain extent, even though I was commuting.

Second year was a little more chilled, and I focused on my degree.

Third year I realised that focusing on my degree just wasn't working, and I was increasingly worried that not being able to network and talk to a huge range of people was going to severely hamper by job seeking ability. So I tried to expand my comfort zone - I ran for the student council and I ran a workshop, taught second years and just tried to 'come out of my shell'. After all that I still felt weird. I still wanted to just sit in my room and watch a movie rather than go out to the SU, and I still rather wanted to just chill with a group of 3 people rather than sit there with a bunch of acquaintances.

So, thinking that I was still abnormal and an absolute weirdo, I moved out. For the first time in my three years. My line of thinking was, 'if I can't handle uncomfortable situations how am I going to function after university?' So I've been at uni for about 4-5 months now, and I tried everything student life has to offer - going down the pub, the SU, etc etc. Honestly? I still feel like I'm on the outside of society, looking in on all the people who seem perfectly happy and content with their friends.

My flatmates are extrovert too, like yours, and what made it worse was that two of them are going out, another is their best friend, and one other bloke they got on really well with moved out, and guess who got his room? Yes, I did. There was an expectation to be just as cool as he was - to get on with them just as much as he did. It was mortifying. All the while I kept thinking, "no, this is good for me, it'll increase my resistance to awkward situations."

After all this soul searching, this constant chase of being "normal" and sociable, now I just don't give a ****. I just stopped caring about what other people perceive of me, and how I might come across at a job interview. If my parents, whom I love dearly, as well as my close friends have managed to see the good in me, then why am I trying to show it to the rest of the world? The people who know me, the people WORTH knowing, know my strengths. The same goes for employers, I've realised - some I just won't gel with, others I will. There's no point trying to 'fit the mould of society' because somewhere out there, somewhere, there's someone JUST like you who feels the SAME way as you and sees the greatness in you that you yourself are blind to.

Yes, I'm still scared I might end up a loser with 12 cats and no job, living with my parents, but the likelihood is I won't. Hell, you already have a boyfriend and clearly you have friends, so you're already a few steps ahead and obviously there's nothing wrong with you. If there was then you wouldn't have a boyfriend and your family and friends would be virtually non existent.

[animalnitrate]

I have social anxiety as well, sometimes I'm fine and have confidence and can leave my flat without a second thought, but sometimes I just can't go out. I refuse to go clubbing in a "normal" club, I'll only go to this 80s one because it's never packed and I feel comfortable with the music there. Being in a crowded club, with horrible music and loads of drunk people falling around all over the place is my worst nightmare. Luckily a lot of my friends don't particularly enjoy clubbing either so it's normally a pub or a gathering at someone's flat instead. If you explain your situation to people then I'm sure they will understand.

[emilyteacake]

You have no idea how many peope there are like this, do not ever think you're abnormal.

You could consider getting medication to help with your anxiety or just throw yourself at situations.

I am experiencing the same problems with you but I think I just need to accept that I am quiet, and realise that you do not need to be an extrovert. I know so many quiet, awkward people that are much more intriuging and fun compared to a few of my loud friends.
You have friends, and a boyfriend, they all love you and want to spend time with you for a reason...

You just need to stop caring. If your flat mates don't like you, who cares? You will leave them soon (trust me the time will go so quickly) and then may never see you again. You need to stop caring about what other people think, I used to be paranoid if someone was looking at me walking down the street but no one cares that much about people other than themselves- eveyrone has their own insecurities they will be focussed on. Your flatmates might not like you, but they won't spend all the time bitching about you- they have their own lives.

Do what you want to do, you dont have to follow conventions the world sets, it's your own life, have fun!

[Anonymous]

(Original post by forgetamine)
I've felt the same way, there's definitely something you can do about it. You should see your GP and they will tell you what you should do about it. They most likely are going to put you on medication and tell you to see a counsellor to work out why you're scared and how you can cope with it.
Living in halls can be horrible for people with anxiety. I hope you're moving in with your friends next year.

My GP at home kinda just said to come back if it gets to the point that I can't function but I've got just over 2 weeks left in halls so I'm going to try and ride it out. Oh yes, I'll be living with one of my best friends at Uni. She's quiet like me

(Original post by Red Lightning)
Just throw yourself in there and get involved.Dont think, just get involved, the more you think the more reasons you will find shy away from situations.

Thing is, getting involved just terrifies me. I try and throw myself in there and nothing ever comes of it.

(Original post by buildalegohouse)
Wow. Reading your post is like looking in the mirror. I can totally relate to your situation. So it's official, you aren't going crazy.


I was bullied throughout my entire school life for being quiet and shy, and doing my work while everyone else dossed around. I used to feel physically sick when I had to read aloud in class, or do presentations because I felt way out of my comfort zone, I hated having the attention.

I get nervous when I go out anywhere too. Doesn't matter where, I still get nervous- particularly somewhere new. So trust me, you aren't alone.

I'm 17, and I'm heading to Uni, and if I was going to live in the halls, I would be doing the exact same thing. I'd get nervous about going clubbing, and I'd be nervous about not going. I'd hide away in my room, because I like to be alone and away from the people that intimidate me. Bloody hell, I even get that nervous when someone serves me in a shop because I think that they're judging or ridiculing me about my appearence and stuff.

People can't simply tell you to make new friends, or go out more, because you can't. What you have is long-term problem and it can't be solved so easily. I'm pretty sure I have the same dilemma and it is currently ruining my life...everything you just said I can identify with.

My advice? Step back away from the halls-- maybe move back in with your parents (if it is possible) or try and get your own place away from these people. You clearly need space to think things over and RELAX.
Don't try to change yourself with a snap of your fingers, it doesn't work like that-- I've tried, and I'm still anxious in new situations. You need to slowly build up your confidence, and get yourself involved in new situations gradually. Even the smallest things make a difference. Try going for a walk, and greet the people you pass, wish them a good day, or say hello. You'll feel so much better.


You could always see your GP and get some councelling, but I know, if someone said that to me, I'd be terrified at the prospect of pouring my heart out to a stranger when there's so much stuff going through my head. It's hard to channel your feelings into words properly, but then again, it's your choice.

It's be nice to hear from you again, because I think you and I have a lot in common with each other. And thankyou for posting, I thought I was alone with this problem. If there's anything, anything at all you want to ask, feel free to PM me.

I will PM you soon Thanks for reassuring me I'm not crazy haha! x

(Original post by wanderlust.xx)
Hmm, I understand. I had a rough time at school and especially sixth form, and I've met some really nice people at university even though I haven't really connected with more than one or two.

Before I give some concrete advice I think it might help if you had a bit of a background on me:

In first year I really wanted to just be normal. I wanted to go to university and have some normal experiences and feel like I'd lived my life a little. I did, to a certain extent, even though I was commuting.

Second year was a little more chilled, and I focused on my degree.

Third year I realised that focusing on my degree just wasn't working, and I was increasingly worried that not being able to network and talk to a huge range of people was going to severely hamper by job seeking ability. So I tried to expand my comfort zone - I ran for the student council and I ran a workshop, taught second years and just tried to 'come out of my shell'. After all that I still felt weird. I still wanted to just sit in my room and watch a movie rather than go out to the SU, and I still rather wanted to just chill with a group of 3 people rather than sit there with a bunch of acquaintances.

So, thinking that I was still abnormal and an absolute weirdo, I moved out. For the first time in my three years. My line of thinking was, 'if I can't handle uncomfortable situations how am I going to function after university?' So I've been at uni for about 4-5 months now, and I tried everything student life has to offer - going down the pub, the SU, etc etc. Honestly? I still feel like I'm on the outside of society, looking in on all the people who seem perfectly happy and content with their friends.

My flatmates are extrovert too, like yours, and what made it worse was that two of them are going out, another is their best friend, and one other bloke they got on really well with moved out, and guess who got his room? Yes, I did. There was an expectation to be just as cool as he was - to get on with them just as much as he did. It was mortifying. All the while I kept thinking, "no, this is good for me, it'll increase my resistance to awkward situations."

After all this soul searching, this constant chase of being "normal" and sociable, now I just don't give a ****. I just stopped caring about what other people perceive of me, and how I might come across at a job interview. If my parents, whom I love dearly, as well as my close friends have managed to see the good in me, then why am I trying to show it to the rest of the world? The people who know me, the people WORTH knowing, know my strengths. The same goes for employers, I've realised - some I just won't gel with, others I will. There's no point trying to 'fit the mould of society' because somewhere out there, somewhere, there's someone JUST like you who feels the SAME way as you and sees the greatness in you that you yourself are blind to.

Yes, I'm still scared I might end up a loser with 12 cats and no job, living with my parents, but the likelihood is I won't. Hell, you already have a boyfriend and clearly you have friends, so you're already a few steps ahead and obviously there's nothing wrong with you. If there was then you wouldn't have a boyfriend and your family and friends would be virtually non existent.

That's like how I feel. I feel like thinking "**** it" to what people think of me and focusing on the people that matter to me like friends, family, bf etc but I just get paranoid and constantly feel like all the people around me are having a blast and I'm just the weird girl who sits in her room and hides.

(Original post by animalnitrate)
I have social anxiety as well, sometimes I'm fine and have confidence and can leave my flat without a second thought, but sometimes I just can't go out. I refuse to go clubbing in a "normal" club, I'll only go to this 80s one because it's never packed and I feel comfortable with the music there. Being in a crowded club, with horrible music and loads of drunk people falling around all over the place is my worst nightmare. Luckily a lot of my friends don't particularly enjoy clubbing either so it's normally a pub or a gathering at someone's flat instead. If you explain your situation to people then I'm sure they will understand.

I'm a little bit like that. I have good days and bad days and sometimes I just can't leave the house. I slowly reveal to people I have it but only people who I can trust.

(Original post by emilyteacake)
You have no idea how many peope there are like this, do not ever think you're abnormal.

You could consider getting medication to help with your anxiety or just throw yourself at situations.

I am experiencing the same problems with you but I think I just need to accept that I am quiet, and realise that you do not need to be an extrovert. I know so many quiet, awkward people that are much more intriuging and fun compared to a few of my loud friends.
You have friends, and a boyfriend, they all love you and want to spend time with you for a reason...

You just need to stop caring. If your flat mates don't like you, who cares? You will leave them soon (trust me the time will go so quickly) and then may never see you again. You need to stop caring about what other people think, I used to be paranoid if someone was looking at me walking down the street but no one cares that much about people other than themselves- eveyrone has their own insecurities they will be focussed on. Your flatmates might not like you, but they won't spend all the time bitching about you- they have their own lives.

Do what you want to do, you dont have to follow conventions the world sets, it's your own life, have fun!

Thank you so much for that. I feel like the friends I have now are dear friends who I'll have for life. I'm moving in just over 2 weeks so eff my flatmates.

[Red Lightning]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Thing is, getting involved just terrifies me. I try and throw myself in there and nothing ever comes of it.

If you are trying your best when it comes to getting involved then thats all it matters. It doesnt matter if nothing comes out of it, keep trying and hopefully, something good will come out of it.

The fact that you are trying is all that matters.

[whatareyoucrazy]

Well. If this makes you feel any better, I hide in my room too. And I haven't made ANY friends, really, not in halls, not in my course, not in societies. I just don't know how to make friends. And not EVERYBODY in university goes clubbing... I prefer theatre.

[oElectronic]

I would definitely say go to you're GP and get help. I was a social anxiety wreck until I started having therapy with a psychologist. Things are finally starting to get better and trust me I have been through hell....my life is finally looking up. I think you'll find that that will get to the basis of your problems and you can work up from there.

[Anonymous]

Just wanted to reply to your post, as your situation seems identical to mine. I can sympathize with this so much right now actually. I was bullied at school, and have Cerebral Palsy, which used to affect me a lot but since my diagnosis I have improved tremendously.

But lets get on track to my reply:-basically I started university in September as an undergraduate and taking into consideration I was a very nervous/and shy person prior to arriving, lots of factors exacerbated my nature of being quiet much further. Firstly there were problems with my student finance installments, it soon became apparent that there was an administration error with the process of my student finance package.

I soon found myself ringing up Student Finance England every week, sometimes 2-3 times a week! Pleading with them to sort my application out and it took a good couple of months before things were in motion. I quickly slipped into a very volatile mood, and became restless and couldn't think straight. On top of this exacerbated stress, my rent payments were due and my money was not in, so I canceled my direct debit and informed the finance department at my university, and eventually I had to borrow two loans from the university.

By which point I was panicking, nervous and my anxiety socially started to surface. The workload got on top of me, and I felt somewhat embarrassed by allowing myself to fall behind. Eventually the emotions got the better of me, as I was unable to focus on my work, I was detached emotionally in lessons and felt distant when conversing.

My loan did come through eventually and I was able to calm down slightly, however the damage was already done. I was slipping behind, as my coping abilities tarnished. My anxiety increased, deadlines very early on made me feel vulnerable and I felt like crying constantly.
I had been liaising with the department at my university consistently, up until the point they referred me to the university counselor. I went to about 6-7 sessions and although it eased the pain in the short term I struggled in my day-to-day activities. I got depressed whilst having therapy and felt it wasn't working, so when my last session came about I jumped for joy, because I found I wasn't comfortable with the therapist, even though she was trying to help.

Things slowly went downhill from here, the workload built up, I was desperate, at my wits end, anxiety set in and during lessons I was socially reclusive, I would avoid talking, group work etc. I constantly thought everyone hated me, or disliked me, I was paranoid and I got myself worked up. I was passively-aggressive towards people and thought that every word emanating from a persons mouth was critical. So I shut myself off from people theoretically speaking. I used to run through scenarios in my head about all those 'what if's'. I drove myself mental to the point of headache and fatigue, I blamed myself for everything, I thought I was undesirable and idiotic. And that nobody wanted to befriend me.

I drifted through the past 7months with misery, anxiety, guilt and feelings of remorse over my performance academically. I even visited my GP here, because it was profoundly affecting my life. The doctor advised me to read through some self-help leaflets relating to anxiety and stress and referred me to the mental health team and told me to ring a number to book an appointment.

I have since been on Easter break from uni and only just got round to ringing the number to get an appointment, largely due to my fear of talking on the phone. I now have a 4week wait for a 30minute assessment. Final deadlines for the first year hand-in looming and I am majorly depressed about my prospects of passing the first year. The course has made me very ill over the past 6months or so and I wish I had acted sooner because now I have lost the will to move forward and I feel most likely to suspend my studies and defer my entry to university until a later date (when I'm mentally stable).

I can't really give sound advice as such, because I currently have issues of my own. But I would suggest you visit your GP. Tell them everything that's bothering you, if it helps write it down and sort something before its too late. Be insistent and pushy, because unfortunately there's many people in need of professional mental health advice on the NHS waiting lists.

All the very best to you and I hope you sort your current predicament out soon.

[Covet]

Hi everyone

I'm so happy to have found this thread because now I know I'm not alone. I've been shy my whole life but I always felt okay in primary and secondary school because when you're young it's easy to make friends isn't it? . When I was in secondary school though, I had acne and didn't really know how to deal with my skin. Being the shy and quiet one, I got picked on every now and then but it really knocked my confidence because I didn't want anyone to look at me and see my skin and think I was disgusting. I had a handful of friends who were amazing but when I was in sixth form some of the few friends I had moved schools or took different classes to me and we just moved apart from each other. We just grew distant and the social interaction I had with them fizzled away. Sadly, I don't have much family near me so I've never been able to socialise with them or my cousins so that's also been a downfall.

When I got to university, that decreased lack of interaction I had with people did not help me. I found it very hard meeting and having conversations with people on my course because it's something I haven't had to do since I was young (I had the same group of friends my whole life and haven't really met new people at all). I've only made three friends at university for the past two years I've been there, one of them being my boyfriend. I honestly don't know what he sees in me haha, but he is the most social person on earth and has a lot of friends. However, I would feel like the world's biggest saddo if I said to him 'can you help me make friends' or something. Also, I prefer to get to know people one on one because I'm shy and I sometimes get over shadowed by others. Not that I want to be the centre of attention or anything, I just want to be listened to and not ignored .

For some reason I feel as if the other students don't like me and I feel as if I'm really boring. Don't get me wrong, I have improved leaps and bounds since I first started uni and I'm much more social than I was but seeing as everyone has already found their little groups of friends it would be so hard for me to wiggle in so late. I feel like I'm struggling at uni because of my social anxiety. Having very few friends gives me no motivation to turn up.

If you've read this far, thank you! If you ever feel like PMing me I'd be happy to chat

[Anonymous]

I'm so nervous after finding my room mates on fb, they are very into comics, sci-fi etc and they are all boys and 2nd years. Very odd.

[ufo2012]

(Original post by Anonymous)
This post might be a bit TL;DR but I hope someone will understand and relate to me so I don't feel like a freak. So here goes..

Pretty much most of my life I've been shy. Always blended in to the backgrounds, never used to speak, had few friends etc. I then got to secondary school and was messed around with in year 7, 8 and 9 by bullies. Taunted for being a geek, had stupid names shouted at me, things thrown at me in class, guys pulling my hair as well as girls (I'm a girl) and I think this is where the anxiety began. Ever since then, I've had an intense fear of social situations. Anything that involves communicating with people or being out of my comfort zone terrifies me.

Moving to university has been the most terrifying thing I've ever done and I'm just a mess at the moment. I have made great friends on my course and I'm moving in with them next year but living in halls has been hell. My flatmates are classic extroverts who pretty much take the piss out of anyone a bit different to them so I spend as much time away from the flat as possible. I just feel crippled by this anxiety. I can't go out and enjoy clubbing like everyone in university does and I feel like people don't understand me. If I explained I had social anxiety, they might get it. I'll risk looking like a freak though. The only people that know about my anxiety are my mum and my boyfriend who are amazing at understanding how I feel. I just hide in my room all the time. When they bring their friends over or get drunk, I just feel like I want to die as dramatic as it sounds. I have a constant fear of being judged and ridiculed and even walking down the street alone in the middle of the day terrifies me and I can't even explain why. Please, if someone has felt the same way, reassure me that I'm not going crazy. I'm just a wreck and this is the only place I thought of turning to. Thanks for reading.

I don't know if it's your main issue, but bullying has obviously had a very negative effect on you. It sounds like you may have had something before this though that made you shy. Could have been something simple like, you always wore glasses? Never seemed to get good enough marks in your exams? Parents always put your brother/sister above you?

But your anxiety due to your bullying is obviously your issue and one which you need to deal with or you will never be able to properly move forward. If they are classic extroverts and you are an intovert by nature you will probably never relate to them (properly) anyway no matter how hard you try. They are probably the same kind of people who were involved in bullying in the first place.

And this is your first hurdle to overcome, you need to accept that you are not like them, because your personalities are of different types. You can live with them and try to get on with them, but you are not of the same mentality.

[animemanic 91]

Hi

don't worry you are not going crazy, you sound exactly like me lol , i was bullied in high school for the same reasons as you so i feel your pain.

your not alone x

[lyle17120]

Alcohol overcomes it

[Anonymous]

Social Anxiety affects a lot of people including myself.

I recently started university with an overwhelming desire to burst out of my shell and become more extroverted and "normal". However, this wasn't the case as previous problems in the past, even though they weren't there it felt like something was holding me back. I could not bring myself to just be this different person I wanted to be.

I did not get a place in typical university halls, due to london and its demand for accomodation, so I was left in a private all boys accomodation for the first year. That did not help as they were all a certain type of people, very smart, and not people who I can open up around. This left me with a small group of friends I met through uni and coincidence.

I struggled as I heard many other people having such a great life while comparing it to mine, I felt like trash.

I still struggle in the sense of anxiety to the degree that I do not want to leave my house, and think about many negativities in plans for meeting with friends and many situations which may arise.

Which makes this worse, is that my parents are African, and I am first generation born british.
Cutural differences and opinions are very conflicted, and it seems like my parents greatly feed my anxiety.

I currently do not have a girlfriend, but feel like any attempt and previous attempts will instantly fail.

They will always be situations of anxiety. The social kind feels like you, yourself are wrapped around your own little finger.

Play in your own comforts, and accept who you are. Or try and get out of this trap.

Thanks for reading.

[cl_steele]

Whilst not at university i know what you mean it sucks doesnt it :/
you could see your GP about it to be honest, they usually prescribe Beta Blockers, work a treat

[animemanic 91]

[QUOTE=Anonymous;38182371]Social Anxiety affects a lot of people including myself.

I recently started university with an overwhelming desire to burst out of my shell and become more extroverted and "normal". However, this wasn't the case as previous problems in the past, even though they weren't there it felt like something was holding me back. I could not bring myself to just be this different person I wanted to be.

I did not get a place in typical university halls, due to london and its demand for accomodation, so I was left in a private all boys accomodation for the first year. That did not help as they were all a certain type of people, very smart, and not people who I can open up around. This left me with a small group of friends I met through uni and coincidence.

I struggled as I heard many other people having such a great life while comparing it to mine, I felt like trash.

I still struggle in the sense of anxiety to the degree that I do not want to leave my house, and think about many negativities in plans for meeting with friends and many situations which may arise.

Which makes this worse, is that my parents are African, and I am first generation born british.
Cutural differences and opinions are very conflicted, and it seems like my parents greatly feed my anxiety.

I currently do not have a girlfriend, but feel like any attempt and previous attempts will instantly fail.

They will always be situations of anxiety. The social kind feels like you, yourself are wrapped around your own little finger.

Play in your own comforts, and accept who you are. Or try and get out of this trap.

Thanks for reading.[

i'd be your girlfriend u sound lovely x