[Anonymous]

Ths is what my friend said to me when Isaid I had been diagnosed with depression. I have never ever understood this illness til I myself suffered from it. Im ashamed to admit that yes I at first steryoypted people with depression as people who were emoish, goths or had bad upbriging. I know now this is totally untrue, I am shocked at the reaction of certain people when I tell them I have this.


From the outset you wouldnt think I do, Im outgoing have lots of friends, go out to parties clubbing, have a good job, I am heavily into my sport, go to the gym alot and am going to uni to study the degreee i wanted at my chosen uni. I have good a level and a sometimes supportive family. I look like i have everything but for about 4 years i have been feeling ****, worthless, no motivation for life, very alone and upset. I lost 2 stone in weight i cant sleep or eat and spend most days crying for no reason, i dont really bother to go out unless i force myself to i dont reply to friends texts and i hate it when i am actually out. It got worse after my ex boyfriend dumped me and it spiralled out of control, im suffering with severe depresssion, im doing CBT and talking therpies.

I thought I would tell my parents and friends so that thye understood why maybe I was a bit over emotional, withdrawn and not myself. My mum said that only mental people have depression, she said you have nothing to be depressed about pull yourself together and get over it, as if i could just get over it like that. I have had certain friends who have said im just gagging for aattention and to be the main focus so im lying and making a deal out of nothing, i have had friends who have dropped me who dont bother asking me out any longer was they say im 'too depressed to go out', I have had a boy that i liked alot tell me that he couldnt deal with my problems and said i was ****ed up and too much to handle because of my depression then went out with another girl .


Im wondering has anybody else faced this steryotype?

[elixira]

Urgh, I've never had depression but it does annoy me how ignorant people can be about it, and mental illness in general. Perhaps it's one of those things you can't understand unless you or someone you know has experienced it, or if you've read up on it.

I truly sympathise with you, it must be awful going through this with so many people against you.

[OU Student]

I have been accused of faking it and doing it for attention. Except, I was trying to hide it from certain people and would claim that there's nothing wrong.

[Chrisofsmeg]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Ths is what my friend said to me when Isaid I had been diagnosed with depression. I have never ever understood this illness til I myself suffered from it. Im ashamed to admit that yes I at first steryoypted people with depression as people who were emoish, goths or had bad upbriging. I know now this is totally untrue, I am shocked at the reaction of certain people when I tell them I have this.


From the outset you wouldnt think I do, Im outgoing have lots of friends, go out to parties clubbing, have a good job, I am heavily into my sport, go to the gym alot and am going to uni to study the degreee i wanted at my chosen uni. I have good a level and a sometimes supportive family. I look like i have everything but for about 4 years i have been feeling ****, worthless, no motivation for life, very alone and upset. I lost 2 stone in weight i cant sleep or eat and spend most days crying for no reason, i dont really bother to go out unless i force myself to i dont reply to friends texts and i hate it when i am actually out. It got worse after my ex boyfriend dumped me and it spiralled out of control, im suffering with severe depresssion, im doing CBT and talking therpies.

I thought I would tell my parents and friends so that thye understood why maybe I was a bit over emotional, withdrawn and not myself. My mum said that only mental people have depression, she said you have nothing to be depressed about pull yourself together and get over it, as if i could just get over it like that. I have had certain friends who have said im just gagging for aattention and to be the main focus so im lying and making a deal out of nothing, i have had friends who have dropped me who dont bother asking me out any longer was they say im 'too depressed to go out', I have had a boy that i liked alot tell me that he couldnt deal with my problems and said i was ****ed up and too much to handle because of my depression then went out with another girl .


Im wondering has anybody else faced this steryotype?

I'm really sorry that you've been through all of this and had to deal with the ignorance of others on top of everything else.

It's a shame how commonplace this misconception is. I don't think anybody truly understands depression until they've been through it themselves.

The stereotype is stupid and I despise people that look down upon those with mental illness. It's not something you can help.

The best thing you can do for yourself is continue with your treatment - you're doing yourself a great favour in the long run. Do your best to ignore all the idiots who don't understand. Their warped views are not your problem. Looking after yourself and trying to get better is

I know it's not easy to ignore people who think you're an attention seeker purely because you're depressed. Just remember, it's not a crime to be depressed. People who act like this now might very well regret it in a few years should they ever suffer from depression. Just try as hard as you can not to let their views impact too greatly on you.

You have no reason to be ashamed. On the contrary, you should be proud that you've acknowledged that something is wrong and you're taking all the steps you can to cope with it - that's a very, very good thing.

Good luck

[ilovelabradors]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Ths is what my friend said to me when Isaid I had been diagnosed with depression. I have never ever understood this illness til I myself suffered from it. Im ashamed to admit that yes I at first steryoypted people with depression as people who were emoish, goths or had bad upbriging. I know now this is totally untrue, I am shocked at the reaction of certain people when I tell them I have this.


From the outset you wouldnt think I do, Im outgoing have lots of friends, go out to parties clubbing, have a good job, I am heavily into my sport, go to the gym alot and am going to uni to study the degreee i wanted at my chosen uni. I have good a level and a sometimes supportive family. I look like i have everything but for about 4 years i have been feeling ****, worthless, no motivation for life, very alone and upset. I lost 2 stone in weight i cant sleep or eat and spend most days crying for no reason, i dont really bother to go out unless i force myself to i dont reply to friends texts and i hate it when i am actually out. It got worse after my ex boyfriend dumped me and it spiralled out of control, im suffering with severe depresssion, im doing CBT and talking therpies.

I thought I would tell my parents and friends so that thye understood why maybe I was a bit over emotional, withdrawn and not myself. My mum said that only mental people have depression, she said you have nothing to be depressed about pull yourself together and get over it, as if i could just get over it like that. I have had certain friends who have said im just gagging for aattention and to be the main focus so im lying and making a deal out of nothing, i have had friends who have dropped me who dont bother asking me out any longer was they say im 'too depressed to go out', I have had a boy that i liked alot tell me that he couldnt deal with my problems and said i was ****ed up and too much to handle because of my depression then went out with another girl .


Im wondering has anybody else faced this steryotype?

Unfortunately there is a lot of ignorance in what is concerned with mental health issues. It is not your fault that they are so ignorant, but they could, at least, keep it to themselves. The bad bit is that you will have to get over it yourself, most people, regardless of their good intentions, only make it worst. Medication may help but to a very little extent. In most cases it shouldn't even be prescribed although some doctors appear to love to put their patients on antidepressants. What helps is doing things you like, doing some type of sport, reading, whatever makes you feel good. And of course be positive, try to think of the good things you have rather than the bad aspects. And most of all, set yourself goals. Every journey is more easy if you have a goal. It sounds cheesy, but focusing in goals helps to avoid bad thoughts and the sense of uselessness which most depressions involve. Be strong, your mum has a twisted view but she has a point, you WILL GET OVER IT.

[darthgirlie]

This perspective really angers me and i will shout it a million times from mountain tops if England had any! Depression like any other mental illness is biochemical change, you wouldn't tell a diabetic in hypoglycemic shock to 'man up and get over it', people with depression need support and understanding. Depression is a lot more than just feeling bad because you had a bad day.

Whilst there is a behavioural element to these things and a bit of 'pulling yourself together' involved, if there is an attitude of its your **** the motivation is never going to come- there needs to be self worth there which is challenging when apart of depression involves low self esteem and apathy. I think people must interpret people seeking help because they cant manage as selfish and attention seeking. I know certainly with my experiences, that i needed to think about myself otherwise I would have continued down a self destructive path.

I hope you find the support you need.

[jazzykinks]

I know how you feel. The perception about us depressed people is that we're greedy, always wanting too much from life. It isn't the case. Even know, my nearest and dearest fail to understand. As far as they're concerned, I have brains and beauty, never got denied anything by my parents and was given freedom. It's a lot deeper than that, though. I have inner demons and they don't know that my childhood was verbally abusive, that I constantly got bullied and was overweight and hated myself. I don't think I'll ever get out of the depression because of its severity, even though I am relatively happy now. You are not making a big dea out of nothing. If you have depression, you have depression. You need support, help and treatment. Don't listen to others that brush off your problem -- you have an official diagnosis, so it can't be wrong if professionals have said it, can it? You will get better, whatever means you take. It's not the end. Keep as positive as possible. x

[bullettheory]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Ths is what my friend said to me when Isaid I had been diagnosed with depression. I have never ever understood this illness til I myself suffered from it. Im ashamed to admit that yes I at first steryoypted people with depression as people who were emoish, goths or had bad upbriging. I know now this is totally untrue, I am shocked at the reaction of certain people when I tell them I have this.


From the outset you wouldnt think I do, Im outgoing have lots of friends, go out to parties clubbing, have a good job, I am heavily into my sport, go to the gym alot and am going to uni to study the degreee i wanted at my chosen uni. I have good a level and a sometimes supportive family. I look like i have everything but for about 4 years i have been feeling ****, worthless, no motivation for life, very alone and upset. I lost 2 stone in weight i cant sleep or eat and spend most days crying for no reason, i dont really bother to go out unless i force myself to i dont reply to friends texts and i hate it when i am actually out. It got worse after my ex boyfriend dumped me and it spiralled out of control, im suffering with severe depresssion, im doing CBT and talking therpies.

I thought I would tell my parents and friends so that thye understood why maybe I was a bit over emotional, withdrawn and not myself. My mum said that only mental people have depression, she said you have nothing to be depressed about pull yourself together and get over it, as if i could just get over it like that. I have had certain friends who have said im just gagging for aattention and to be the main focus so im lying and making a deal out of nothing, i have had friends who have dropped me who dont bother asking me out any longer was they say im 'too depressed to go out', I have had a boy that i liked alot tell me that he couldnt deal with my problems and said i was ****ed up and too much to handle because of my depression then went out with another girl .


Im wondering has anybody else faced this steryotype?

all of those reactions sound horrible.

I've had similar things. Some friends were very supportive of me, others not so much. Some people have said I am an attention seeker for self harming and being suicidal, some threatened to tell everyone in school so they could all laugh at me. Loads gave the "what have you got to be depressed about?" response.

When I was young I had (still do) a phobia of vomit, no one believed me, they said it was impossible for me to have a phobia of that, and that no one liked being sick and I just need to deal with it. They also thought that exposing me to situations where I would panic about vomit was the best way to deal with it, and that I would get over it eventually. Had the same with abandonment, I was so scared of that but everyone said I was just overreacting, and forced me to stay away from home to get over it. Didn't exactly work, and still to this date I have a horrible fear of abandonment, and this ****s over a lot of relationships.

I have been called unrealistic, attention seeking and immature by psychiatrists, psychologists and CPNs. One psychiatrist said that "loads of people feel like you do, but never bother us because they just get on with their life, you just need to cope with it". The same one told me that I would never be able to be in a real relationship because I just manipulate and cause so much chaos for my partner.

My ex was one of the worst. She said that if I was suicidal, then I didn't love her. That me being paranoid / psychotic was unreasonable and was unfair on her. That if I said I was bored with everything that meant I must hate her, and that if I felt lonely (even if she was with me) that I was ungrateful. Eventually she broke up with me because my mood swings and self destructive acts was too much for her to handle. I know it is difficult, but I never felt like she even tried to understand at times.

Basically, I feel I have met a lot of **** from people, but also, there have been people who are fantastic and understand, but these are usually people who have experience of mental illness in one way or another.

[C1992]

I have been in the same position, and it is the most horrible feeling in the world. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was 14 years old after my parents divorced. I was one of those emo kids at school (it was the cool thing in my circle of friends, with the black skinnys and thick black eyeliner). When I was depressed I used to self harm a lot because it gave a sense of control, but with the stereotype of 'you're an emo kid, you only cut for attention' it became very hard to tell anyone about it, even my closer friends.
That was 6 years ago now, and I still have not told many of my friends about it. The ones I have told have accused me of lying, and told me that I'm just seeking attention. If anything I feel more alone, for when I go into depressive spirals, I have no one to talk to, because no one would believe me. I wish I had the guts like you did to come out with it at the time, but I guess I was too scared of being even more shunned than I already was.
But amongst all the people that shun you, there will be the few amazing special people who completely understand what you are going through and accept it and try to help, even if it's just a little. It is slowly becoming more accepted as a problem, and more people are openly admitting that they also suffer from depression, and although the stigma is there, it is becoming slowly easier to find people in the same position who are willing to help and talk.

[Airfairy]

It is an awful feeling, I know. We have a family history of it, so my family are a little more understanding on my dad's side, which is nice. My mum frequently says 'snap out of it', and I don't know about other suffers, but I find those words and the like to make it so much worse! Someone telling me to pull myself together makes me feel 10x worse! It is the last thing anyone wants to hear in that state.

I do worry about what my boyfriend's parents will be thinking, as they haven't seen me in my breakdowns like my boyfriend has. I think my boyfriend believes it, because he's seen it first hand. His parents probably just think I'm being a moody teenager with him and what not, but what can you do? It's just how it is with depression and it's hard.

What scares me the most is I actually think there are a lot of doctors who probably think the same thing...

[Iron Lady]

Firstly, what? I've never heard the stereotype that people with depression have had a bad upbringing. It is just one of those things.

I've been suffering from depression for the last six to seven years of my life (on and off), you just need to pull yourself up by the boot straps, brush yourself down and rise above it. It's easier said than done, but I've got better by thinking positively - and you can to.

[keziah_X]

I think it's because GPs are a bit quick to diagnose mental conditions nowadays so there seem to be a lot of 'depressed' people around. I mean I've had physical ailments as a result of stress like some hair loss and chest pains and my GP instantly diagnosed me with anxiety, which I know I don't have, having read more about it since. A lot of people who feel the symptoms of depression are probably feeling down due to stress and other factors, and while they should 100% get counselling they don't necessarily need to be clinically diagnosed with depression. As well as all these rushed diagnoses there's also the issue of whiney teenagers using the term depression as a synonym for fed up.

[KJane]

It's sad that people react this way. Depression isn't a form of attention seeking because it's normally so hidden. Mine was only found out because a teacher asked me if I was ok, I lied and said yes and she just stared at me for a minute and said 'No you're not.'

I understand how it feels OP, they think you're just being dramatic. My mum couldn't understand why I was depressed. You just put on a mask, at least I did, I felt ashamed for how I felt which meant I felt like I was stuck in a cycle because I felt worse for being depressed. It makes me angry for people to say it's attention seeking but it's not, if it was, so many wouldn't do their dam hardest to hide it.

[Sternumator]

I have never had depression but I can imagine how it feels. If I actually have stuff to worry about or something bad happens to me then I don't get too down about it. In the summer holidays, when I have no worries, I have felt terrible for about a week for no apparent reason but luckily it then goes away. It would be hell to feel like that all the time.

I do think some people use it as a bit of an attension seeking tool though. People should just keep it to people who need to know about it and a few close friends and family if that makes it easier to deal with. If a close friend told me of their depression I would be very understanding but if someone I didn't know that well told me they had depression I would think they may be depressed or they may not but either way why are they telling me? The only reason they would is to try and gain attension.

[LionKingLover94]

I am currently suffering from depression, and have been solidly for nearly a year. I hate crying in front of people, showing negative emotion. In the past, I have managed to hide my consistent unhappiness, my dark thoughts, my feeling of being alone and isolated with no-one to really talk to. I had people telling me to pull myself together, get over it, you can only help yourself. But there's only so much you can help yourself. And I have run out. I have cried every day for months, and now it is pretty much all day every day. My school are finally getting someone in to come and give me some help, because Ive honestyl reached despair. It is a series of things, one after the other, and people hurting me that has caused it. And I have hidden it as much as possible for nearly a year, but there comes a point where you just can't anymore.
People with real depression will do their best to hide it as long as possible. The people that you think seem perfectly fine may go home and withdraw into a shell of unending darkness. Yes, there are some people that really milk it for all it's worth for attention - I had that with my now ex boyfriend. He claimed he had jumped into the harbour to try and drown himself and cut his back with a knife to try and paralyse himself; I made him go and see a doctor and get help. Now, when it's me that's stuck in this pit of misery, he completely abandoned me.
If someone really seems to be mentally unwell for a long time and seems in need of help, talk to someone who can help them as soon as you possibly can. You never know, it may save a life.

[geetar]

I have depression, and I'm definitely not seeking attention. I don't like being the centre of attention anyway, I get anxious in situations where that happens (which is something that contributes to the depression, I guess).

[OU Student]

(Original post by Iron Lady)
Firstly, what? I've never heard the stereotype that people with depression have had a bad upbringing. It is just one of those things.

I've been suffering from depression for the last six to seven years of my life (on and off), you just need to pull yourself up by the boot straps, brush yourself down and rise above it. It's easier said than done, but I've got better by thinking positively - and you can to.

If you've got proper depression, this just isn't possible. I've had depression a few times and thinking positively just isn't possible. All I could think about was sleeping. That was my only escape from it all that didn't involve me harming myself in some way.

[LionKingLover94]

(Original post by OU Student)
If you've got proper depression, this just isn't possible. I've had depression a few times and thinking positively just isn't possible. All I could think about was sleeping. That was my only escape from it all that didn't involve me harming myself in some way.

I sleep all evening and have horrendous nightmares at night, and thats when I DO sleep at night. When you have depression being asleep is better than being awake because you can escape your misery for a little while. When I wake up, I just wish that I wouldn't, and that I could just stay asleep forever. This sort of thing isn't something that comes up in general discussion with your friends

[sunfowers01]

(Original post by LionKingLover94)
I sleep all evening and have horrendous nightmares at night, and thats when I DO sleep at night. When you have depression being asleep is better than being awake because you can escape your misery for a little while. When I wake up, I just wish that I wouldn't, and that I could just stay asleep forever. This sort of thing isn't something that comes up in general discussion with your friends

This is it exactly

[Above.The.Empyrean]

I'm really annoyed at him! Urgh!