[Serano]

and is a Hindu. Now, I have no problem with this and am really sad I might lose her as she is a good friend of mine. Unfortunately, I'm an atheist and she keeps saying "pray for me" etc. What is the correct response in such a situation? I just went along with it since it's highly possible she will die soon (her cancer is quite advanced) and in this case I think religion might be providing her with the illusion of an afterlife and helping her to fight on even if I don't believe it's true. Is this the correct thing to do?

[James82]

(Original post by Serano)
and is a Hindu. Now, I have no problem with this and am really sad I might lose her as she is a good friend of mine. Unfortunately, I'm an atheist and she keeps saying "pray for me" etc. What is the correct response in such a situation? I just went along with it since it's highly possible she will die soon (her cancer is quite advanced) and in this case I think religion might be providing her with the illusion of an afterlife and helping her to fight on even if I don't believe it's true. Is this the correct thing to do?

Surely this would have the opposite effect.

[newhope]

(Original post by James82)
Surely this would have the opposite effect.

Nah, I think she is trying to say is that her friend has accepted the fact that she will unfortunately die and is now hoping to have a good afterlife?

[James82]

(Original post by newhope)
Nah, I think she is trying to say is that her friend has accepted the fact that she will unfortunately die and is now hoping to have a good afterlife?

Which is exactly the opposite of 'fighting on'.

[hothedgehog]

You should just say something along the lines of 'all my best wishes are with you' which shows support in a non-prayer way. If you're not religious then you don't pray, easy!

[barkyface]

Now is not the time to preach about whether god exists or not. You should support your friend however is needed, and if they need to believe in a god and afterlife I wouldn't shatter that for them, and if they want you to pray for them, I would probably let them believe that's what I am doing. Just because the alternative might be too painful and stressful for them.

[Emielle]

I'd personally say, "I've been thinking about you - how're you feeling today?" or whatever, because she'll interpret that as your form of prayer. She just wants all the support she can get because, understandably, she must be feeling scared. I'm glad you seem so highly sensitive to her feelings - just keep on keeping on because you're doing the right thing.

Here's hoping your friend will pull through.

[Pinkhead]

This really doesn't have to be that hard. If your friend is on the verge of death and is struggling, you should really do everything you can to make them feel better, assuming you care for this person.
This means telling them that you'll pray for them, hell, even praying for them right in front of them.
I wouldn't give it a second thought if my friend asked me that while he/she's dying, and I am a pretty adamant atheist.

Also, I'm sorry about your friend. It must be hard to know that a friend is likely to pass away.

[Dagnabbit]

(Original post by James82)
Which is exactly the opposite of 'fighting on'.

I think what she meant was just fighting on against the mental challenges that one would face when approaching death (depression, loss of hope, loss of belief in after life). Of course, your mental state often does little to alter whether you die or not anyway.

[cosmobear92]

(Original post by Serano)
and is a Hindu. Now, I have no problem with this and am really sad I might lose her as she is a good friend of mine. Unfortunately, I'm an atheist and she keeps saying "pray for me" etc. What is the correct response in such a situation? I just went along with it since it's highly possible she will die soon (her cancer is quite advanced) and in this case I think religion might be providing her with the illusion of an afterlife and helping her to fight on even if I don't believe it's true. Is this the correct thing to do?

I'm so sorry about your friend.

I would say things like I'm hoping you're doing well or I've been thinking about you but tbh if it were me and seeing as you said her cancer is quite advanced just do what you can to make her comfortable, at ease. I'm guessing your friend knows you're an atheist so she might have asked you for a reason.

[NJA]

You may not have faith in a God to do anything, but we do.

God's way is that if you seek first a relationship with Him (not religion) by letting him have his way - you desire to receive His Spirit, that makes you his child and you have the faith to let him do miracles. Several ladies at the meeting I go to in N London had breast cancer, they had an op & treatment and co-incidentally it worked, and the whole experience strengthened their relationship with God. One thing you can do for her is show her this.

[Bella_trixxx]

Now is NOT the time to be debating about religion, there are more important things to worry about! My grandmother passed not too long ago, she was a strong Christian and asked me to pray for her. Now I don't believe in God, but who am I to refuse the requests of a dying person?
This is not about you and what you believe, it's about your friend and what she wants. You may not have very much time left with her. Don't spoil the time you do have worrying about trivial things like whether or not she's asked you to pray for her. That doesn't matter. Just make sure she's comfortable and enjoys the time she has left. That's all you can do.

[Serano]

The whole point of this thread was to make sure I'm doing the right thing by not bringing up religion. However, I wanted to know whether it was morally correct to lie about praying or not to make her feel better - I think it is.

[tooambitious]

(Original post by Serano)
The whole point of this thread was to make sure I'm doing the right thing by not bringing up religion. However, I wanted to know whether it was morally correct to lie about praying or not to make her feel better - I think it is.

i suppose if you dont fee praying will have any effect, then telling her you are praying is the same s praying, she'll be happy that you're 'praying for her' and either way it wont save her life, so i say you're foing the right thing, make your friend happy I hope th two of you make it through this difficult time without too much pain

[nexttime]

(Original post by Serano)
The whole point of this thread was to make sure I'm doing the right thing by not bringing up religion. However, I wanted to know whether it was morally correct to lie about praying or not to make her feel better - I think it is.

As others have said, avoid the question by saying things like 'my thoughts are with you' etc, which you could say is your way of 'praying' if you like. Alternatively, there isn't really any moral problem with just lying given the situation. Don't lie about being an atheist if you are asked directly though - just say you are making an exception by parying for her.

Sorry to hear about your situation btw. It must be a tough time.

(Original post by NJA)
You may not have faith in a God to do anything, but we do.

I looked at that and thought to myself "wow... god can heal diseases like MS, but chooses not to in 99.9999% of cases?! What a bastard"

[tooambitious]

(Original post by nexttime)
As others have said, avoid the question by saying things like 'my thoughts are with you' etc, which you could say is your way of 'praying' if you like. Alternatively, there isn't really any moral problem with just lying given the situation. Don't lie about being an atheist if you are asked directly though - just say you are making an exception for her.

Sorry for your loss btw.



I looked at that and thought to myself "wow... god can heal diseases like MS, but chooses not to in 99.9999% of cases?! What a bastard"

i thought how does God cure one of drug addiction

[tinman1]

I don't believe in any religion but would have no trouble praying for someone if they asked me too, especially if they were dying and they asked me too. If you don't believe it shouldnt be such a big deal.

[tufc]

Stop being such a militant atheist.

[Origami Bullets]

Surely if she knows that you're an atheist, then she knows that you don't pray (especially if you've always been one), and her requests are more of a figure of speech? If that's the case, then she'd see through any offerings of prayer as being insincere?

I think the best thing you can do is to always be there for her, not be one of these 'friends' who disappears at the first sign of cancer, and (if she asks) tell her that you're thinking of her.

[Miracle Day]

(Original post by barkyface)
Now is not the time to preach about whether god exists or not. You should support your friend however is needed, and if they need to believe in a god and afterlife I wouldn't shatter that for them, and if they want you to pray for them, I would probably let them believe that's what I am doing. Just because the alternative might be too painful and stressful for them.

This.

OP, you seem like an ass tbh