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Why aren't I being invited to parties/social outings?

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    #1

    Male
    18
    Year 13

    So I'm not the most popular guy but I'm not the least. I'm consider the joker in my year and a smart guy.
    I'm a likable guy and can talk to most people in my year. However, 30% of them I know really well, the rest is meh meh. Can't really describe it

    I hate sitting on a friday/saturday night/morning looking at fb photos of the majority of the people in my year having fun and dancing. I want to stop looking at the photos but I'm a very curious person

    I mean, some guys who I know that don't speak a lot to the birthday boy/girl gets invited....why?
    Coz they are popular and dominant and tbh, can make a party good, not gonna lie :holmes: due to their personalities.

    I mean, I try and not let it bother me because I know that those potential hours partying are used to revise for my upcoming A2 exams.

    Is uni like this too?
    I know there are more important things in life, but I just wanted to know.

    PS: From the beginning of year 13, I've only been invited to 4 18th parties, one I went to because a lot of my friends/people in my year were going and I knew this person very well.
    The other 3 invites weren't personal. They invited everyone on their friend list on fb and so I felt that I wouldn't enjoy myself coz
    a) I hardly speak to that person
    b) Most of my friends in the 30% group weren't going.
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    Sometimes you just need to get in there and insert yourself into the situation.

    But, if I can put it in these terms, real life is far less cliquey than high school. If you want company, if you want excitement.. whatever you're looking for, you can generally find it in London. Lots of willing, consenting adults looking for all sorts of things; there's going to be at least some people who are what you're looking for.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    ^thanks

    Anymore;bump
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    I've been to less than you buddy, often wonder the same thing
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    At school I never went to 'parties' with friends. I went to 'gaming nights' or to the pub for a meal or a few drinks but that was it, except for my 18th party and a friends. Most of the people drinking and 'partying' at my school were chavs. At university I go out once or twice a week with clever, conscientious friends and have better nights than those kids will ever have every week.
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    Have your own party?
    Or just talk to people near the weekends, when parties are most likely to happen.. ask them what their plans are, they may invite you
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    Ha I'm the opposite. I keep getting invited to parties but sadly I'm the antisocial type. HATE PARTAYS.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    haha thought this thread was done and dusted, thank you guys for the replies
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    At this moment in time i can relate to you. Since yr 13 started in September right through until Late March i only had about 4-5 weekends in. Since late March i haven't ben out once (bar a quick game of pool after work). I guess it must just be exam season
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    That's 2 more 18ths than me this year, I would consider that to be quite a lot of invites

    Does it bother you that much? If you're revising instead of partying then you'll be having all the fun at the end of this year at university and generally be having a great time.

    Maybe people think you aren't the partying type? You could try showing more interest, talking to the people you want to go out with more and talking about how you enjoyed so and so's party, without being too obvious of course.
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    You should plan something yourself and invite others, they'll do the same in return probably.

    Or just wait till uni, it'll be better
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    (Original post by RobertWhite)
    At school I never went to 'parties' with friends. I went to 'gaming nights' or to the pub for a meal or a few drinks but that was it, except for my 18th party and a friends. Most of the people drinking and 'partying' at my school were chavs. At university I go out once or twice a week with clever, conscientious friends and have better nights than those kids will ever have every week.

    I'm happy that you are enjoying yourself and have clever and good friends, but your post really turned sour when I read the bold bit.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Male
    18
    Year 13

    So I'm not the most popular guy but I'm not the least. I'm consider the joker in my year and a smart guy.
    I'm a likable guy and can talk to most people in my year. However, 30% of them I know really well, the rest is meh meh. Can't really describe it

    I hate sitting on a friday/saturday night/morning looking at fb photos of the majority of the people in my year having fun and dancing. I want to stop looking at the photos but I'm a very curious person

    I mean, some guys who I know that don't speak a lot to the birthday boy/girl gets invited....why?
    Coz they are popular and dominant and tbh, can make a party good, not gonna lie :holmes: due to their personalities.

    I mean, I try and not let it bother me because I know that those potential hours partying are used to revise for my upcoming A2 exams.

    Is uni like this too?
    I know there are more important things in life, but I just wanted to know.

    PS: From the beginning of year 13, I've only been invited to 4 18th parties, one I went to because a lot of my friends/people in my year were going and I knew this person very well.
    The other 3 invites weren't personal. They invited everyone on their friend list on fb and so I felt that I wouldn't enjoy myself coz
    a) I hardly speak to that person
    b) Most of my friends in the 30% group weren't going.
    Instead of waiting for an invite, ask the 30% of people you really know well if you can come along. Or arrange a night out yourself.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Sniggey)
    That's 2 more 18ths than me this year, I would consider that to be quite a lot of invites

    Does it bother you that much? If you're revising instead of partying then you'll be having all the fun at the end of this year at university and generally be having a great time.

    Maybe people think you aren't the partying type? You could try showing more interest, talking to the people you want to go out with more and talking about how you enjoyed so and so's party, without being too obvious of course.
    Hey,

    It doesn't bother me too much, but it's just the sheer amount of people in my year who I talk to day in day out partying together and I'm not invited

    I don't think I'm the partyin type but I'm not that bad
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Michaelj)
    Instead of waiting for an invite, ask the 30% of people you really know well if you can come along. Or arrange a night out yourself.
    If I ask those 30% of people, they're most likely to tell me to ask the host.
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    are you interesting though, what hobbies do you do?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Male
    18
    Year 13

    So I'm not the most popular guy but I'm not the least. I'm consider the joker in my year and a smart guy.
    I'm a likable guy and can talk to most people in my year. However, 30% of them I know really well, the rest is meh meh. Can't really describe it

    I hate sitting on a friday/saturday night/morning looking at fb photos of the majority of the people in my year having fun and dancing. I want to stop looking at the photos but I'm a very curious person

    I mean, some guys who I know that don't speak a lot to the birthday boy/girl gets invited....why?
    Coz they are popular and dominant and tbh, can make a party good, not gonna lie :holmes: due to their personalities.

    I mean, I try and not let it bother me because I know that those potential hours partying are used to revise for my upcoming A2 exams.

    Is uni like this too?
    I know there are more important things in life, but I just wanted to know.

    PS: From the beginning of year 13, I've only been invited to 4 18th parties, one I went to because a lot of my friends/people in my year were going and I knew this person very well.
    The other 3 invites weren't personal. They invited everyone on their friend list on fb and so I felt that I wouldn't enjoy myself coz
    a) I hardly speak to that person
    b) Most of my friends in the 30% group weren't going.


    I'm pretty like you in the description, apart from the smart. Lol.

    Anyway yeah I speak to most people but none of them invite me to stuff like that. I don't care to be honest.
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    Have you own party or arrange a mass get together in the local park on a hot day, they're bound to invite you to stuff then. Show them that you'd be a great person to invite

    Oh and that'd be why you're not getting invited, if you think you're not going to enjoy it! Nobody invites a person who doesn't make an effort to get to know other people because that is part of the point of parties
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The other 3 invites weren't personal. They invited everyone on their friend list on fb and so I felt that I wouldn't enjoy myself coz
    a) I hardly speak to that person
    b) Most of my friends in the 30% group weren't going.
    That's not the right attitude! It doesn't matter if you don't know many people there, you should get to know them! Those sorts of parties are the most fun because you don't know what's going to happen and what kind of people you're going to meet
    Do you drink? I know some people who don't like inviting non-drinkers to parties because it makes it less fun... just a thought...

    Also, why don't you have a party? If someone has already gone to your party then it makes it 10x more likely that they'll invite you to theirs. Of course, when you still don't get invited to someone's party after they've gone to yours it makes it sting a bit more... :'( But just try to shrug it off...
    4 invites isn't bad though!
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    wait til you go to uni you'll get loads of invites to stuff then

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Updated: May 11, 2012
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