[U4EA]

(Original post by RobertWhite)
At school I never went to 'parties' with friends. I went to 'gaming nights' or to the pub for a meal or a few drinks but that was it, except for my 18th party and a friends. Most of the people drinking and 'partying' at my school were chavs. At university I go out once or twice a week with clever, conscientious friends and have better nights than those kids will ever have every week.

Yes sir, your subjective idea of fun trounces that experienced by the less clever and conscientious among us.

[heyday]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Male

Is uni like this too?

.

Nope, don't worry about it for now, focus on getting into uni, then you can party when you're there!

[RobertWhite]

(Original post by U4EA)
Yes sir, your subjective idea of fun trounces that experienced by the less academically smart and 'conscientious' peons of the world.

Wow, you're good at twisting up someone's words.

1. I'm referring to a group of chavs, not the 'less academically able'.
2. I'm talking specifically about a group of people.

___________________________

3. No one here even knows who I'm talking about. I have good reasons to turn 'sour'.

[U4EA]

(Original post by RobertWhite)
Wow, you're good at twisting up someone's words.

1. I'm referring to a group of chavs, not the 'less academically able'.
2. I'm talking specifically about a group of people.

___________________________

3. No one here even knows who I'm talking about. I have good reasons to turn 'sour'.

YOLO!

[Michaelj]

(Original post by Anonymous)
If I ask those 30% of people, they're most likely to tell me to ask the host.

Then ask the host then? If every person is passing you on to the other person then perhaps you should look into the 70% of people and try mingling with them

[Iron Lady]

You can count on one hand the amount of weeks you have left in year 13 - do not dwell over the fact you're not being invited to parties. Focus on your revision. In years to come you won't know those people and it is more important to have good grades than 'memories' of pathetic parties 18 year olds think they're so cool to have.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Michaelj)
Then ask the host then? If every person is passing you on to the other person then perhaps you should look into the 70% of people and try mingling with them

I think it would look a tad desperate of I asked the host as oppose to the others who didn't

I do mingle with them but tbh, I'm not fully comfortable with them too much, no point anyways coz there's weeks left of year 13 then were all going separate ways

[Iron Lady]

(Original post by RobertWhite)
At school I never went to 'parties' with friends. I went to 'gaming nights' or to the pub for a meal or a few drinks but that was it, except for my 18th party and a friends. Most of the people drinking and 'partying' at my school were chavs. At university I go out once or twice a week with clever, conscientious friends and have better nights than those kids will ever have every week.

Exactly.

I cannot understand the mentality of some 18 year olds. They claim to have had the 'best night of their lives' at some house party or club, every single Saturday night. I cannot understand the attraction of being paralytically drunk, chavvy girls screeching "omdaizz dis is da best nite of ma lyf wit da gurls" or people uploading the amount of alcohol they had to drink as if it's something to be proud of.

You know, it doesn't surprise me that their future is limited to becoming a single mother or ending up as alcoholics. When I was 18 years old I spent my free time wisely, not dreaming about a boring, generic night out.

I agree with your point about having quieter evenings with like-minded people. That's far more entertaining than doing something because everyone else is.

[Iron Lady]

(Original post by U4EA)
YOLO!

Exactly the mentality I detest.

[Michaelj]

(Original post by Iron Lady)
Exactly.

I cannot understand the mentality of some 18 year olds. They claim to have had the 'best night of their lives' at some house party or club, every single Saturday night. I cannot understand the attraction of being paralytically drunk, chavvy girls screeching "omdaizz dis is da best nite of ma lyf wit da gurls" or people uploading the amount of alcohol they had to drink as if it's something to be proud of.

You know, it doesn't surprise me that their future is limited to becoming a single mother or ending up as alcoholics. When I was 18 years old I spent my free time wisely, not dreaming about a boring, generic night out.

I agree with your point about having quieter evenings with like-minded people. That's far more entertaining than doing something because everyone else is.

I got out every Saturday and some Fridays and occasionally a few nights throughout the week and I'm not the type of person you just described... If anything I've done well for myself finance and social wise. Though I admit I didn't get drunk until I was 19 yrs old lol, since then when I learnt vodka though...

[Michaelj]

(Original post by Anonymous)
I think it would look a tad desperate of I asked the host as oppose to the others who didn't

I do mingle with them but tbh, I'm not fully comfortable with them too much, no point anyways coz there's weeks left of year 13 then were all going separate ways

If you're not willing to make an effort to meet people then why should they make an effort? Its not desperate to ask a person running things if you can come along, especially if you're "cool" with him as you say you are. If you really are cool with him he'd be like "Yeah, you don't have to ask, of course you can come".

[*Thedreaming*]

coz no one thinks your important enough to invite

[RobertWhite]

(Original post by Iron Lady)
Exactly.

I cannot understand the mentality of some 18 year olds. They claim to have had the 'best night of their lives' at some house party or club, every single Saturday night. I cannot understand the attraction of being paralytically drunk, chavvy girls screeching "omdaizz dis is da best nite of ma lyf wit da gurls" or people uploading the amount of alcohol they had to drink as if it's something to be proud of.

You know, it doesn't surprise me that their future is limited to becoming a single mother or ending up as alcoholics. When I was 18 years old I spent my free time wisely, not dreaming about a boring, generic night out.

I agree with your point about having quieter evenings with like-minded people. That's far more entertaining than doing something because everyone else is.

At last, someone who understands my point

[apolocreed]

Sometimes you gott go to the bad ones, I've met dozens of people at parties I didn't particulary want to go to, and this get invited to godo ones with people I'm close with now

[sarahlabrosse]

You probably don't get invited, because you don't go out, so people don't think you're a party person, start going to anything you can - like those 18ths even if its just for a couple of hours, and people will start inviting you oout more!

just read the comments directly above mine, and i've just repeated them- sorry ^^, haha, but yeh, i agree!

[nish81]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Male
18
Year 13

So I'm not the most popular guy but I'm not the least. I'm consider the joker in my year and a smart guy.
I'm a likable guy and can talk to most people in my year. However, 30% of them I know really well, the rest is meh meh. Can't really describe it

I hate sitting on a friday/saturday night/morning looking at fb photos of the majority of the people in my year having fun and dancing. I want to stop looking at the photos but I'm a very curious person

I mean, some guys who I know that don't speak a lot to the birthday boy/girl gets invited....why?
Coz they are popular and dominant and tbh, can make a party good, not gonna lie due to their personalities.

I mean, I try and not let it bother me because I know that those potential hours partying are used to revise for my upcoming A2 exams.

Is uni like this too?
I know there are more important things in life, but I just wanted to know.

PS: From the beginning of year 13, I've only been invited to 4 18th parties, one I went to because a lot of my friends/people in my year were going and I knew this person very well.
The other 3 invites weren't personal. They invited everyone on their friend list on fb and so I felt that I wouldn't enjoy myself coz
a) I hardly speak to that person
b) Most of my friends in the 30% group weren't going.

I don't feel like I can give a good response to your basic problem, but I can deal with the bolded part where you ask about uni. IMO a lot of this cliquey BS and being popular and whatnot fades away when you get to uni. Sure you still have cliques and popular people and stuff like that, but that's only within a certain group of people. If you don't want to live that kind of social live, the crowd of people at uni is big and diverse enough for you to just go and find others to hang out with. You're no longer stuck in a social environment with a certain set of people; your life is now your own to do whatever you want with and hang out with whatever kind of people.

What I hate to see at uni is people who've had similar problems to yours maybe - not been part of the popular cliques at high school, etc - come to uni and decide that they're going to remake themselves as a person, pretend to be cool so that everyone thinks they're popular and stuff. It's kind of sad because that stuff is no longer necessary at uni and they just become a bit of a prick.

[U4EA]

(Original post by Iron Lady)
Exactly.

I cannot understand the mentality of some 18 year olds. They claim to have had the 'best night of their lives' at some house party or club, every single Saturday night. I cannot understand the attraction of being paralytically drunk, chavvy girls screeching "omdaizz dis is da best nite of ma lyf wit da gurls" or people uploading the amount of alcohol they had to drink as if it's something to be proud of.

You know, it doesn't surprise me that their future is limited to becoming a single mother or ending up as alcoholics. When I was 18 years old I spent my free time wisely, not dreaming about a boring, generic night out.

I agree with your point about having quieter evenings with like-minded people. That's far more entertaining than doing something because everyone else is.

Oh TSR.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by nish81)
I don't feel like I can give a good response to your basic problem, but I can deal with the bolded part where you ask about uni. IMO a lot of this cliquey BS and being popular and whatnot fades away when you get to uni. Sure you still have cliques and popular people and stuff like that, but that's only within a certain group of people. If you don't want to live that kind of social live, the crowd of people at uni is big and diverse enough for you to just go and find others to hang out with. You're no longer stuck in a social environment with a certain set of people; your life is now your own to do whatever you want with and hang out with whatever kind of people.

What I hate to see at uni is people who've had similar problems to yours maybe - not been part of the popular cliques at high school, etc - come to uni and decide that they're going to remake themselves as a person, pretend to be cool so that everyone thinks they're popular and stuff. It's kind of sad because that stuff is no longer necessary at uni and they just become a bit of a prick.

Really, just like that? (the bold bit)

Thanks though!

[nish81]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Really, just like that? (the bold bit)

Thanks though!

No problem

Hehe, well, pretty much. Say you try meeting people on your course, but they end up being cliquey/etc. There are so many other places you can look to try and meet people: people in your halls of residence, random people you meet in freshers nights out (it sounds a bit contrived I know but everyone is trying to make friends in first year so as long as you're open to the idea it's easily do-able), meeting friends of friends, joining societies to find people with common interests (that's a big one IMO). Plus, if your course is reasonably sized, it's unlikely that everyone on it will be cliquey.

I'll give you an example without getting too specific. I found the first few people I met on my course to be quite cliquey, playing the 'oh who's popular who should we invite out' game, so I stopped hanging out with them. My hallmates were quite cool and they became one friendship group. I'd also added a couple of people on facebook before uni started; I went out with some of them a couple of times, most of them I lost touch with after that but one became my long-term girlfriend and we dated for 1.5-2yrs. I also met two random people in a club on campus on a night out, and started hanging out with them drinking/watching tv, now I'm in my final year and I'm still good friends with them, we revise together on the weekdays. etcetc, so what I meant is that there are good opportunities to meet people who share your interests. Keep in mind I'm also not a big fan of going out clubbing/getting drunk every other night (about once every 2-3 weeks is fine for me).

I'd be happy to go into more specifics or anything if you'd like


edit: I also agree with what people above said; the number of times I ended up going out ( at uni) in first year to a night that didn't really appeal to me, but I ended up meeting people there who I hung out with more after. (for example that club night on campus that I met those two guys at, I didn't really want to go at all). You only lose some time by going tbh

[Anonymous]

(Original post by nish81)
No problem

Hehe, well, pretty much. Say you try meeting people on your course, but they end up being cliquey/etc. There are so many other places you can look to try and meet people: people in your halls of residence, random people you meet in freshers nights out (it sounds a bit contrived I know but everyone is trying to make friends in first year so as long as you're open to the idea it's easily do-able), meeting friends of friends, joining societies to find people with common interests (that's a big one IMO). Plus, if your course is reasonably sized, it's unlikely that everyone on it will be cliquey.

I'll give you an example without getting too specific. I found the first few people I met on my course to be quite cliquey, playing the 'oh who's popular who should we invite out' game, so I stopped hanging out with them. My hallmates were quite cool and they became one friendship group. I'd also added a couple of people on facebook before uni started; I went out with some of them a couple of times, most of them I lost touch with after that but one became my long-term girlfriend and we dated for 1.5-2yrs. I also met two random people in a club on campus on a night out, and started hanging out with them drinking/watching tv, now I'm in my final year and I'm still good friends with them, we revise together on the weekdays. etcetc, so what I meant is that there are good opportunities to meet people who share your interests. Keep in mind I'm also not a big fan of going out clubbing/getting drunk every other night (about once every 2-3 weeks is fine for me).

I'd be happy to go into more specifics or anything if you'd like


edit: I also agree with what people above said; the number of times I ended up going out ( at uni) in first year to a night that didn't really appeal to me, but I ended up meeting people there who I hung out with more after. (for example that club night on campus that I met those two guys at, I didn't really want to go at all). You only lose some time by going tbh

Thank you very much for the detailed response.
+rep