[jblackmoustache]

I hear this and see this all the time. The epidemic of women saying they want nerds. What do they actually mean though? They don't honestly mean that in the sense men do. They're not wanting a guy who is into games and comic books are they?

I'm aware there are a minority of girls out there who get pissed off by the fake girl nerds out there. Unless a girl is HONESTLY a nerd (gamer girl, comic book/manga nerd, etc) can you honestly say they're looking for a nerdy guy or does nerd in woman speak mean they're looking for someone who isn't in the gym 24/7 and isn't in the club being a 'lad?'

Are these sorts of girls looking for a fake 'Big Bang Theory' sort of nerd. Someone who can just admit to enjoying the Avengers movie and liked IronMan rather than someone who goes below the surface (just going to see a few comic book movie blockbusters and liking some Quentin Tarantino movies doesn't make you a nerd)?

[Klayton]

Gonna make some vast generalisations here, but whatevs.

I think often when a woman (or anyone) says they want to find a nerd / someone sensitive / someone different / etc, they mean that they've been unhappy in past relationships with typical blokeish men, and think that they would be happier with someone who behaves a little differently and perhaps isn't quite so bloody masculine.

But, I find, however much someone says this they'll always end up back with their typical alpha male idiot type of guy, because that's what they're attracted to. They know that they'd probably have a better relationship with a quieter / nerdier guy, but they're simply not physically or sexually attracted to them, and so it ends up being all talk.

That's what I've seen among the people I know, but it'd be cool to see what others think.

[Dragonfly07]

A nerd doesn't have to be a gamer or like comics. He just has to be interested in education and uninterested in social norms.

Not all nerds are smart nerds. The stupid ones are annoying as **** pseudo intellectuals. The smart ones, as long as they don't lack confidence, can be quite attractive.

[jblackmoustache]

(Original post by Klayton)

But, I find, however much someone says this they'll always end up back with their typical alpha male idiot type of guy, because that's what they're attracted to. They know that they'd probably have a better relationship with a quieter / nerdier guy, but they're simply not physically or sexually attracted to them, and so it ends up being all talk.

I agree. I think it's because the 'nerd' thing seems like a novelty and hipster thing to like. These sorts of 'mainstream obsessed/following' women are the equivalent of the jerk off blokey guys in clubs and they weren't meant to gel with the nerds/geeks. They don't understand these types of men and assume they're boring, don't know how to party and are 'squares' with no fashion sense. You're favourite dance/hip-hop music producers and artists are nerds (as Moby famously put it).

[jblackmoustache]

(Original post by Dragonfly07)
A nerd doesn't have to be a gamer or like comics. He just has to be interested in education and uninterested in social norms.

That's the difference with men and women. To men that isn't being a 'nerd'. That's simply being a better man. Clearly saying you like a 'nerd' is simply just a way of saying 'I don't want another blokey guy who watches football, hangs in the gym and loves the club'?

Also clearly there's an unwritten rule that men who call themselves nerds re unnatractive and women who do are attractive?

[Dragonfly07]

(Original post by jblackmoustache)
That's the difference with men and women. To men that isn't being a 'nerd'. That's simply being a better man. Clearly saying you like a 'nerd' is simply just a way of saying 'I don't want another blokey guy who watches football, hangs in the gym and loves the club'?

Also clearly there's an unwritten rule that men who call themselves nerds re unnatractive and women who do are attractive?

I don't know what you mean or where you got your information from.

You think that the only reason some women are into "nerds" is because at some point have been disappointed by a "blokey" guy?

I don't see how calling yourself a "nerd" would make you more unattractive and women more attractive.

Do you, as a nerd, have trouble "getting girls"? Would you like advice on how to solve it? Because it seems to be more personal than anything else, your claims are random and generic and have no basis.

[Chumbaniya]

I think it's hard to know how much is to do with nerds transitioning from outcasts to the forefront of popular culture, and how much is women wanting men with serious interests, a sharper mind and a more introverted personality. I think there will be some women who look favourably on nerds just because nerds feature much more prominently and positively in the media now.

[Livvy3000]

They want men with money and a man who is sensitive and won't go after someone else lol

[py0alb]

They mean, like, not a meathead moron whose interests range from going to the gym and watching football to drinking 12 pints of stella on a friday night.

[Dark Horse]

(Original post by py0alb)
They mean, like, not a meathead moron whose interests range from going to the gym and watching football to drinking 12 pints of stella on a friday night.

It's easy to coax this kind of man into calling you gay/nerd/geek/phaggot. It represents an interesting kind of gap in the matrix - women will interpret such comments as "hate" and they rationalize this as "men only ever say things like this about men they're threatened or intimidated by".

Sources: IRL. pseudo Alpha female friends. The way women bitch about other attractive women. Common sense/social dynamics reduced to their simplest form.

[MrHappy_J]

I think it just means they want someone intelligent, cultured and thoughtful as opposed to your traditional thug.

[4RealBlud]

A ripped guy who wears glasses and has an enthusiasm for science and is generally intellegent and competent, who still has the generic attractive traits like confidence, self-confidence, being social and successful

[itchy and scratchy]

(Original post by Klayton)
Gonna make some vast generalisations here, but whatevs.

I think often when a woman (or anyone) says they want to find a nerd / someone sensitive / someone different / etc, they mean that they've been unhappy in past relationships with typical blokeish men, and think that they would be happier with someone who behaves a little differently and perhaps isn't quite so bloody masculine.

But, I find, however much someone says this they'll always end up back with their typical alpha male idiot type of guy, because that's what they're attracted to. They know that they'd probably have a better relationship with a quieter / nerdier guy, but they're simply not physically or sexually attracted to them, and so it ends up being all talk.

That's what I've seen among the people I know, but it'd be cool to see what others think.

You hit the nail on the head!

[jblackmoustache]

(Original post by 4RealBlud)
A ripped guy who wears glasses and has an enthusiasm for science and is generally intellegent and competent, who still has the generic attractive traits like confidence, self-confidence, being social and successful

This guy? (well except the glasses)

[Hayley.M.A.Foster]

I think I'm one of those girls who've said this at some point. My boyfriend plays games (minecraft anyone?) reads comics, enjoys films like the avengers, scott pilgrim, tv shows such as arrested development ect. And has a shower curtain with the periodic table of the elements on it. :P I think he's nerdy in the personality sense though, not quite sure if you mean that or physically.

[MancBoy]

When girls want a nerd they mean they want someone who is still conventionally good looking but wears glasses and watches Big Bang Theory

For e.g this...



instead of this...

[xXHolly_90Xx]

haha I don't want my boyfriend to look like a nerd!
I'm not sure if I've ever said it but if I have I would have meant personality wise it would be cool to date a nerd because I'm a gamer myself Besides nerds are far more interesting than guys that party 24/7..

[Vohamanah]

(Original post by jblackmoustache)
I hear this and see this all the time. The epidemic of women saying they want nerds. What do they actually mean though? They don't honestly mean that in the sense men do. They're not wanting a guy who is into games and comic books are they?

I'm aware there are a minority of girls out there who get pissed off by the fake girl nerds out there. Unless a girl is HONESTLY a nerd (gamer girl, comic book/manga nerd, etc) can you honestly say they're looking for a nerdy guy or does nerd in woman speak mean they're looking for someone who isn't in the gym 24/7 and isn't in the club being a 'lad?'

Are these sorts of girls looking for a fake 'Big Bang Theory' sort of nerd. Someone who can just admit to enjoying the Avengers movie and liked IronMan rather than someone who goes below the surface (just going to see a few comic book movie blockbusters and liking some Quentin Tarantino movies doesn't make you a nerd)?

I don't think the majority of women mean that at all. Different strokes for different folks, not all women want a beefed up gym-bunny.

The nerds that I've been friends with (and I'm including my boyfriend in this, but he should take nerd as a compliment) have been very intelligent, fun to be with and generally honest people.

There's something refreshing about spending time with someone who will not say "Haha you play computer games/read comic books/make dioramas/make computer graphics. That's so stupid". I'm pretty fed up of being embarassed by my hobbies because they're not seen to be "cool".

I like spending time with people I can be wholly honest with and who actually have interesting things to say, rather than things like who's sleeping with who, who's top of the football league, who can drink the most on a night out, which do not interest me in the slightest. I'm much rather listen to my boyfriend try and teach me about quantum physics (and fail).

[Klayton]

(Original post by Vohamanah)
I don't think the majority of women mean that at all. Different strokes for different folks, not all women want a beefed up gym-bunny.

The nerds that I've been friends with (and I'm including my boyfriend in this, but he should take nerd as a compliment) have been very intelligent, fun to be with and generally honest people.

There's something refreshing about spending time with someone who will not say "Haha you play computer games/read comic books/make dioramas/make computer graphics. That's so stupid". I'm pretty fed up of being embarassed by my hobbies because they're not seen to be "cool".

I like spending time with people I can be wholly honest with and who actually have interesting things to say, rather than things like who's sleeping with who, who's top of the football league, who can drink the most on a night out, which do not interest me in the slightest. I'm much rather listen to my boyfriend try and teach me about quantum physics (and fail).

Exactly. I wonder when exactly intelligence and an interest in the world around you became something to be derided. Shows something about most people's priorities, I guess.

[FrostyLemon]

I go to the gym twice a week, clubbing at least once a week, love West Ham and faaaakinn football. But I also live on IGN, I'm obsessed with Nintendo, I can spend twelve hours in the library, have watched The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (Extended edition) about sixteen times and regularly do so in twelve hour marathons.

The thing that annoys me about you 'nerds' is, you all like to moan on here about how you are judged by 'cool' people, but then you assume that people who go the gym and like to get pissed are idiots and couldn't possibly be interested in the things you like? You're just as bad.