[AtagamaiiRose]

ok so let’s start from the beginning-
my family are all Muslims, i was brought up to be one, no question about it, attended mosque until i was 12 and i hated it, did not understand it, teacher was an idiot and so were the girls. Although i enjoyed my aunties view on religion but it was confusing as well...
My grandfather is an angry man and so is my dad- both physically abusive, so my dad was pressed on to religion after a complicated adulthood. my mother is physically abusive and thinks she is always right, my sister follows Islam because her friends do and she was scared in to wearing a hijab when she was 8- i.e. being told in mosque that Satan pissed on your had if you didn't. (doesn’t believe this no but wants to take it off when she goes university)

now to the point- i have always been a rebelling child and would always question just about anything, i have come to terms that i am agnostic and confided my bitch of a sister to it, who when we were fighting told my mum who shouted at me and called me 'kaffir' and has hated me since because she think I am the one who will brainwash my little brother and sister.
me and my father had a nice little chat about my religious beliefs then he started questioning them

do you believe in Allah?
and then started getting all preachy.... then suddenly changed his attitude and called me 'kaffir' and said he is going to kick me out of the house when i am 16 and i would fail my GCSE's. He made me feel so guilty and said i would go to hell.

my brother is straying from religion too and now my parents and sister think that i am 'brainwashing' him with my evil beliefs.

i have extended family and am worried how them ad my family are going to perceive me as i have 'come out'. Though i will probably blindly follow the faith until i am out of the house... :/

so what do i do now? And how do i cope around Ramadan and Eid?
I feel so guilty and lonely i attend an all girls school and around 90% of the students are Muslim and Asian so who do i turn to?

[AgZarp]

Do you go to a muslim faith school?

If it isn't you should talk to teacher about how your parents are threatening your GCSE progress, see your options.

Unfortunatley you seem to come from a very strict islam background, from which it is hard to break, and evèn harder to change the views of people within it.

[Ganhad]

same, i got these parents be strong in your sense of self righteousness in your mind your parents are fully wrong just play along or you might fail your gcse's like i did it screws with your mind during exams. Just play along. Ignore your backwards parents. dont you have a best friend or anything. When you can leave, learn the religion then school them, bigtime with 3 burly men behind you so they cant do nothing while you force them to see how wrong they were. This is satisfying trust me let this thought drive you. i figured i should mention i am a muslim after stopping for a bit.

If you need support you should talk to a white convert to muslim they epic and have more pure less backward views.


this probably made 0 sense sorry.

[Clare~Bear]

Talk to someone at school about it. Preferably not a strict muslim person . . .

You're becoming an adult and they should be respecting your ideas and views. It's them that are brainwashed and by the sounds of it were forced into Islam.

[OmicronPersei8]

Have you checked out: http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/? Some of the users on there have had similar experiences and I'm sure would be willing (and more experienced) in giving advice.

[Perseveranze]

Sounds like one messed up family, sounds like a typical scenario for the apostate. Usually people will stray if what they're learning is going in one ear and out the other, with parents sending them to random mosques, thinking it will be alright. They should first become educated in Islam themselves so they can relate with their children, teach them proper Islamic ethics and have real religious based conversations with them - otherwise the child will see hypocrisy and be effected by their environment (in terms of thinking; like a backlash sort of thing), religion will just be a chore for them as they have no real understanding of why they're even following it; feel like going astray from it.

Further problems as stated is the abusive parents. It is no surprise you've probably grown to have a dislike for the faith. The irony is, although you were born in a Muslim family, Islam is probably still new to you.

If you want, your more than welcome to to discuss your doubts/problems with me. But in all honesty, you sound like a troll (first you say your sister thinks your brainwashing your brother, then you say your sister wants to take off hijab?).

[Alpharius]

Do not talk to your teachers if they are Muslim. Ignore those telling you to do so. The likelyhood is it will only make things worse.

I would normally advise not admitting your lack of faith to anyone until you completely leave your house for good, but you already have.

All I can suggest is to avoid those that could give you grief, focus on your studies, get out for Uni and don't look back.

[AtagamaiiRose]

(Original post by Perseveranze)
Sounds like one messed up family, sounds like a typical scenario for the apostate. Usually people will stray if what they're learning is going in one ear and out the other, with parents sending them to random mosques, thinking it will be alright. They should first become educated in Islam themselves so they can relate with their children, teach them proper Islamic ethics and have real religious based conversations with them - otherwise the child will see hypocrisy and be effected by their environment, religion will just be a chore for them as they have no real understanding of why they're even following it; feel like going astray from it.

Further problems as stated is the abusive parents. It is no surprise you've probably grown to have a dislike for the faith. The irony is, although you were born in a Muslim family, Islam is probably still new to you.

If you want, your more than welcome to to discuss your doubts/problems with me. But in all honesty, you sound like a troll (first you say your sister thinks your brainwashing your brother, then you say your sister wants to take off hijab?).

ouch! a troll?
nope, my sister wants to take off her hijab but she is still certain of her faith- i have a very messed up family now you think about it and would love to talk more about it.

[Perseveranze]

(Original post by AtagamaiiRose)
ouch! a troll?
nope, my sister wants to take off her hijab but she is still certain of her faith- i have a very messed up family now you think about it and would love to talk more about it.

If you're geniune, feel free to message my profile. I mean, it's not like you have anything to lose, maybe you're misunderstood about some things. Otherwise, your free to choose whatever you like in the end. Whether you apostate or remain Muslim probably won't change the abusive family and other problems you have. But at least you may not end up seeing religion as the cause factor, but rather the solution (as many of the problems you mention really have no basis in Islam). Imo, it's strongly to do with understanding the principles (of your faith) and separating them from the reality of what is apparent.
.

[mohsanrabbani]

(Original post by AtagamaiiRose)
ok so let’s start from the beginning-
my family are all Muslims, i was brought up to be one, no question about it, attended mosque until i was 12 and i hated it, did not understand it, teacher was an idiot and so were the girls. Although i enjoyed my aunties view on religion but it was confusing as well...
My grandfather is an angry man and so is my dad- both physically abusive, so my dad was pressed on to religion after a complicated adulthood. my mother is physically abusive and thinks she is always right, my sister follows Islam because her friends do and she was scared in to wearing a hijab when she was 8- i.e. being told in mosque that Satan pissed on your had if you didn't. (doesn’t believe this no but wants to take it off when she goes university)

now to the point- i have always been a rebelling child and would always question just about anything, i have come to terms that i am agnostic and confided my bitch of a sister to it, who when we were fighting told my mum who shouted at me and called me 'kaffir' and has hated me since because she think I am the one who will brainwash my little brother and sister.
me and my father had a nice little chat about my religious beliefs then he started questioning them

do you believe in Allah?
and then started getting all preachy.... then suddenly changed his attitude and called me 'kaffir' and said he is going to kick me out of the house when i am 16 and i would fail my GCSE's. He made me feel so guilty and said i would go to hell.

my brother is straying from religion too and now my parents and sister think that i am 'brainwashing' him with my evil beliefs.

i have extended family and am worried how them ad my family are going to perceive me as i have 'come out'. Though i will probably blindly follow the faith until i am out of the house... :/

so what do i do now? And how do i cope around Ramadan and Eid?
I feel so guilty and lonely i attend an all girls school and around 90% of the students are Muslim and Asian so who do i turn to?

The mosque system at the moment in uk is a mess. There are numerous mosques who dont even have a set curriculum and often it can be seen that kids spend years at the mosque learning nothing. Also the atmosphere when going to learn in the mosque is also not good, teachers tend to be physically abuse kids,like alot of asian parents.

like the brother that was saying in the above post your family seems to lack the true sense of islam. firstly the whole violence thing is common in aisans who try and use force when explaining islam which makes no sense. Your understanding of islam was through dictatorship and you probably weren't given the time to learn islam the correct way.

i think your option now is to either move out the house to a close family member if your parents are despising you to a great extent and calling you a kaffir which is a very strong word, if you would like to study islam in detail then i suggest its a good option as you may learn new things and learn the correct way. what ever you choose i hope the best, at the end of the day God gave all of us a choice and if you strongly disagree with God then no one should physically abuse you to believe in god.

hope i helped

[Hypocrism]

Don't get sucked in. Religion is a meme (read about these, it's really interesting) that abuses social relationships to propagate itself like a virus! I would rather leave my family and be adopted or something than forced into a system of belief I think is false. But you should pretend to your family that you buy it, ask them to help you understand and go to mosque school or whatever will convince them you believe, then just ride with it until university or when you can leave home and you can leave that rubbish behind you. Secretly buy Dawkin's books or something you can read to help you realise there's a better life outside the false bonds of religion.

Plenty of people do this to appease their parents.

[xXxiKillxXx]

(Original post by Perseveranze)
Sounds like one messed up family, sounds like a typical scenario for the apostate. Usually people will stray if what they're learning is going in one ear and out the other, with parents sending them to random mosques, thinking it will be alright. They should first become educated in Islam themselves so they can relate with their children, teach them proper Islamic ethics and have real religious based conversations with them - otherwise the child will see hypocrisy and be effected by their environment (in terms of thinking; like a backlash sort of thing), religion will just be a chore for them as they have no real understanding of why they're even following it; feel like going astray from it.

Further problems as stated is the abusive parents. It is no surprise you've probably grown to have a dislike for the faith. The irony is, although you were born in a Muslim family, Islam is probably still new to you.

If you want, your more than welcome to to discuss your doubts/problems with me. But in all honesty, you sound like a troll (first you say your sister thinks your brainwashing your brother, then you say your sister wants to take off hijab?).

This^ Perfect reply! Its always damn culture interfering and leading to confusions!

[KCosmo]

(Original post by AtagamaiiRose)
ok

It probably sounds bad, but you could try just putting it on until you move out properly? Just do as little religious stuff as possible to keep them happy, so that they don't kick you out, and then once you're away to uni they can't do anything about it? It's not a perfect solution, but it doesn't get you chucked out, lets you focus on your exams, and you can offer support to your brother if he feels the same way. If you're sure that your parents wont accept your beliefs then it seems the only way to peacefully co-habit the house.

[Darth Stewie]

Just lie. Apologize to your mum and tell her whatever she wants to hear.

Simple fact is in a large Muslim community you are not going to get an easy life by coming out as agnostic and rejecting Islamic beliefs, i would say don't tell your teachers as a lot tend to have "we can sort this if we sit you all down and have a nice long chat" mentality which in the real world usually makes things worse.

Once you leave home you can do what you want, cut of connections or just pretend to be religious when your family are around but until then the best option is to try and not draw attention to yourself and get out of dodge as soon as you are able.

People are probably going to tell you to stand up for what you believe yada yada yada but at the end of the day you have to pick your battles and it is highly unlikely you will win this one, it really isn't worth you jeopardizing your future and possibly putting yourself in harms way. Think of it this way, suffer for 2 years and you will have a happier 60+ in the future.

[wateva23]

I am agnostic from a muslim family aswell so i kinda have some experience about that kind of stuff.
Am sorry to say this but you shouldn't have told anyone in the first place at all, nobody knows except for very few people that am agnostic.
I had a friend who also came out against his family and said he was an atheist and they made him go to a psychiatrist and treated him as if he was insane. He had to say that he is back to Islam for his family to accept him again.
If you are completely dependant on your family then there is noway except to acknowledge you were wrong and tell them you are a Muslim again. Otherwise it gets very bad and you will lose your contact with your family because they think you are the devil in disguise.
I live my life as a muslim and trust me nobody will ever even doubt that you are agnostic, and regarding eid and ramadan will eid is no problem but ramadan is a little bit of a problem, just don't eat that much so you can eat on the "Fitar" and drink whenever you are thirsty just make sure nobody sees you.

If you are an ex-muslim and don't want to lose your family and friends, am sorry but there is no easy way to say this, you have to pretend that you are a normal Muslim. Being branded a Kaffir is much worse in islam than being a murderer.

[x.Hana.x]

(Original post by AtagamaiiRose)
ok so let’s start from the beginning-
my family are all Muslims, i was brought up to be one, no question about it, attended mosque until i was 12 and i hated it, did not understand it, teacher was an idiot and so were the girls. Although i enjoyed my aunties view on religion but it was confusing as well...
My grandfather is an angry man and so is my dad- both physically abusive, so my dad was pressed on to religion after a complicated adulthood. my mother is physically abusive and thinks she is always right, my sister follows Islam because her friends do and she was scared in to wearing a hijab when she was 8- i.e. being told in mosque that Satan pissed on your had if you didn't. (doesn’t believe this no but wants to take it off when she goes university)

now to the point- i have always been a rebelling child and would always question just about anything, i have come to terms that i am agnostic and confided my bitch of a sister to it, who when we were fighting told my mum who shouted at me and called me 'kaffir' and has hated me since because she think I am the one who will brainwash my little brother and sister.
me and my father had a nice little chat about my religious beliefs then he started questioning them

do you believe in Allah?
and then started getting all preachy.... then suddenly changed his attitude and called me 'kaffir' and said he is going to kick me out of the house when i am 16 and i would fail my GCSE's. He made me feel so guilty and said i would go to hell.

my brother is straying from religion too and now my parents and sister think that i am 'brainwashing' him with my evil beliefs.

i have extended family and am worried how them ad my family are going to perceive me as i have 'come out'. Though i will probably blindly follow the faith until i am out of the house... :/

so what do i do now? And how do i cope around Ramadan and Eid?
I feel so guilty and lonely i attend an all girls school and around 90% of the students are Muslim and Asian so who do i turn to?

Look first of all in Islam 'There is no compulsion in religion'- quran.

Most, if not all muslim clerics, miss that part out these days. Noone can force you into a religion, noone but yourself can decide, becausin the end, religion is what is in your heart, not what you show by actions to others- those who try to enforce their religion on others are obviously not true in their hearts.
I cant say much about ur parents, I dont know them and its not my place, but I was always taught tht logic and religion are basically one, and if something in religion is not logical, chances are it isnt true, just an add on or distortion. It may be difficult to say this to parents like yours...but remember, god is a loving god, especially in islam as well, despite the out of context verses people claim proves god as violent and fearful in islam, and he wont just punish you because you have doubts, or your searching for something so hard and right now you cant find it in the islam you been taught....the fact is u are trying to do the right thing, and ...if u just speak to god on ur own, no barriers, say all thi to him, ...he says if you go walking to him, he will come running, its a saying.
And tht satan pissing thing? I mean really? Sunni muslims have such logically impossible and unplausible ideas sometimes- but thts my view, and they are entitled to their own. Oh an hijab, its your choice, it is not allowd to be forced, tho I kno tht some people are forced to which is wrong since it often has the opposite effect...exanple my best friend is muslim, she dusnt wear hijab but is ten times nicer, more modest and better than many I know who do wear it and wer made to. Just goes to show. The ones who do it of their own choice, most are also lovely.

Just do your best, im sure its hard, and hold on, I promise you wont v living wi ur parents forever. Its natural to want to find out more abd ask questions, rebel etc....but pleese dnt let the actions of some forceful muslims blight and marr your perceptions of a whole religion....and who said you cant become an athiest and believe in god while you figure things out? In your heart, since it will obvi b difficult to explain tht to ur family. An im muslim btw just to say.
So, good luck, I hope you find what your looking for, in the end its ur choice.

xxx:-)

[mariachi]

(Original post by xXxiKillxXx)
Its always damn culture interfering and leading to confusions!

Some Muslims tend to blame "culture" for everything which they don't like in Muslim countries or societies

don't kid yourself : most of the time, the blame is firmly on Islam

[mariachi]

(Original post by wateva23)
Being branded a Kaffir is much worse in islam than being a murderer.

and let there be no compulsion in matters of religion

[chemistinthemaking]

(Original post by AtagamaiiRose)
ok so let’s start from the beginning-
my family are all Muslims, i was brought up to be one, no question about it, attended mosque until i was 12 and i hated it, did not understand it, teacher was an idiot and so were the girls. Although i enjoyed my aunties view on religion but it was confusing as well...
My grandfather is an angry man and so is my dad- both physically abusive, so my dad was pressed on to religion after a complicated adulthood. my mother is physically abusive and thinks she is always right, my sister follows Islam because her friends do and she was scared in to wearing a hijab when she was 8- i.e. being told in mosque that Satan pissed on your had if you didn't. (doesn’t believe this no but wants to take it off when she goes university)

now to the point- i have always been a rebelling child and would always question just about anything, i have come to terms that i am agnostic and confided my bitch of a sister to it, who when we were fighting told my mum who shouted at me and called me 'kaffir' and has hated me since because she think I am the one who will brainwash my little brother and sister.
me and my father had a nice little chat about my religious beliefs then he started questioning them

do you believe in Allah?
and then started getting all preachy.... then suddenly changed his attitude and called me 'kaffir' and said he is going to kick me out of the house when i am 16 and i would fail my GCSE's. He made me feel so guilty and said i would go to hell.

my brother is straying from religion too and now my parents and sister think that i am 'brainwashing' him with my evil beliefs.

i have extended family and am worried how them ad my family are going to perceive me as i have 'come out'. Though i will probably blindly follow the faith until i am out of the house... :/

so what do i do now? And how do i cope around Ramadan and Eid?
I feel so guilty and lonely i attend an all girls school and around 90% of the students are Muslim and Asian so who do i turn to?

i did a runner from home because of this lol

[Serano]

Without trying to sound mean, it would probably be better for you if you get out of your house as soon as possible. I'm sorry your parents are so narrow minded.