[Movember]

not enough characters in the title so i shall explain here!

there is an extreme double standard. why is it seen as sad and pathetic for a guy to go to the gym to build his muscles, get a great body, great aesthetics in order to gain confidence, attract girls and make other guys admire him/make other guys jealous? the majority of people go to the gym to get a great body to attract the opposite sex, make the same sex jealous/admirable and gain confidence in the process. the majority of guys AND girls do this, however much they try to deny it. i admit that i do it. but it is somehow seen as sad and pathetic for a guy to do this and his parents and elders will usually label him as having some sort of body dysmorphia, inferiority complex etc.

but girls spending hours and hours shopping for clothes, putting on makeup is seen as perfectly fine by society. why is this? a guy building muscles and a girl spending hours and hours on makeup and clothes are for the same thing- both want to look better for more confidence, attract the opposite sex and provoke a reaction (jealousy/admiration) from the same sex. yet the guy is labelled as the sad/pathetic one but the girl is seen as normal.

its not as if the gym takes very long. you can have a good intense session in as little as 30 minutes. 4 or 5 times a week that adds up to 2-3 hours. girls can spend that much time just getting ready for one night out!

why does society think like this?

tl;dr: read the bold lines above.

[Kirushan]

who cares what society thinks anyway

[NB_ide]

(Original post by Movember)
not enough characters in the title so i shall explain here!

there is an extreme double standard. why is it seen as sad and pathetic for a guy to go to the gym to build his muscles, get a great body, great aesthetics in order to gain confidence, attract girls and make other guys admire him/make other guys jealous? the majority of people go to the gym to get a great body to attract the opposite sex, make the same sex jealous/admirable and gain confidence in the process. the majority of guys AND girls do this, however much they try to deny it. i admit that i do it. but it is somehow seen as sad and pathetic for a guy to do this and his parents and elders will usually label him as having some sort of body dysmorphia, inferiority complex etc.

but girls spending hours and hours shopping for clothes, putting on makeup is seen as perfectly fine by society. why is this? a guy building muscles and a girl spending hours and hours on makeup and clothes are for the same thing- both want to look better for more confidence, attract the opposite sex and provoke a reaction (jealousy/admiration) from the same sex. yet the guy is labelled as the sad/pathetic one but the girl is seen as normal.

its not as if the gym takes very long. you can have a good intense session in as little as 30 minutes. 4 or 5 times a week that adds up to 2-3 hours. girls can spend that much time just getting ready for one night out!

why does society think like this?

tl;dr: read the bold lines above.

Because women have little more than their looks to "contribute" to anyone else, they're judged mainly by how attractive they are. Men, however, are more usually judged by their character, power (influence over others) and material posessions, so looking good is actually largely irrelevant. It can be seen as effeminate for men to care so much about their appearance, and in doing so necessarily neglect to pay as much attention to things that are actually far more important for a man.

There are numerous "omg double standardz" to be found, but don't hate. It's good that men and women are still held to be different and judged by different standards. Things are much more interesting that way.

[TheRustaman]

If that's all you're building muscle for then you're going about it the wrong way.

You should do it for yourself and noone else.
It feels good to have and build strength so that is the primary reason i work out. I couldn't care less of what females think.

[Jacoti]

Where did you get the impression that going to the gym was seen as sad? I've never thought less of someone based on them going to the gym, on the contrary I think it's wonderful when someone decides to exercise. Or am I missing a point here?

[Farseer]

Who says going to the gym/getting fitter is pathetic? I can't say I've heard anyone say that.

[Marlo Stanfield]

Nobody thinks this you clown. The only problem people have is ridiculously mental over excessive use of the gym, to the extent your neck disappears and you can't hold your arms by your sides, and when these people then go out bearing their mancleavage in allsaints knock offs.

[StarsAndBoulevard]

One's natural and the other isn't. But both are acceptable? Unless I'm completely out of touch with society.

[A Perfect Circle]

There is a false stereotype created by jealous men and bitter women that it is impossible to go to the gym and build muscle AND be a remotely intelligent human being. It helps them cope with the fact that these people are better than themselves in many different ways.

[sangston]

yeah, be a fat slob lol..

I think in modern society, going to the gym is the norm, not an anomaly.

[squishy123]

This ONLY happens when people go EXTREME:

[barnetbuzzzz]

Erm... where have you got this rubbish from? I very rarely hear criticism of men who build muscle in the gym.
By contrast, women who wear make-up come in for a LOT of stick, including on this forum.

[Tommyjw]

Dont think ive ever heard anyone who says anyone who goes to the gym for that reason is sad..

Apart from the people who are all u their own ass about doing it and such.

[ReTurd]

Going to the gym has never been seen as sad. people have respect for those that have respect for themselves and want to be healthier.

[int92]

most guys are jealous so try and put people who go to the gym down.

most girls are insecure and realise they cant get the guys with great bodies so they convince themselves that they are 'meatheads'


a great thing about todays society where you are looked down upon for improving yourself

[chickenonsteroids]

I've never heard anyone say going to the gym is sad. If they're improving their fitness all the best to them. So I'm not sure where that's come from.

I think with regards to girls if they apply make up properly then usually you either don't notice its a lot or it isn't a lot.

So I'm not sure where you've got this double standard from. Maybe I'm just not seeing it

If someone is doing it for confidence for themselves and not others then I have no reason to change that

[Philbert]

Both are pathetic and shallow if they have nothing else going on in their lives, imo.

[StartSomething]

This is the first I have heard of this..

[screenager2004]

It takes 10 minutes to put make up on in the morning.

If you could get hench and ripped with 10 minutes working out in the morning then I doubt women would have a problem with it. It's not the muscles themselves that are unattractive, but just they project the impression that the man in question spends a significant part of his lifestyle and income on his appearance, and some women want a more down to earth relationship.

That being said, I used to be really put off by people who were gym obsessed but I've got a few friends now who work out a lot and they still eat pizza and slob out and drink and can be lazy too, so I don't have a problem with it. It's just the obssessive "ah it's 11pm, that means I can have 200g of unseasoned chicken breast hurrah! *dashes to kitchen to get out food scales*" - that whole thing can be incompatible with some people.

[Bimbleby]

Where'd you get that from? Some people might think that but equally there's a ton of people that think girls who wear a lot of makeup are shallow or slags and guys who work out are trying to get healthy and work on their physical stamina/strength etc.

The poster above who made the point about focusing on appearance being effeminate is right, though. Society sees being attractive as the main function of women, whereas men are defined by what they do, not how they look. That's why whenever you get a female politician people can't stop talking about what she wears and how she looks. Whilst people do take the piss out of how male politicians look, it's secondary to what they say and do, for women it's almost the entirety of their public persona.

So yeah, I'd rather people thought I was a bit sad for working out than that I was never really able to have a say in public life or be defined by what I do rather than how I look. That said, I think our society's attitudes to gender f*** everyone over. I don't buy the idea that it's infinitely worse for women, I think that's ignorant to how incredibly restrictive masculinity is as a normative stereotype.