Results are out! Find what you need...fast. Get quick advice or join the chat
Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Mental Health Support Society MKVII

Announcements Posted on
    • 26 followers
    Online

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Lucky girl, not only am I still as pale as ever (despite spending the last week in the sun constantly on holiday...) but also now every SINGLE little scar on my arms has gone from naturally blending in to being a pronounced silvery coloured against the creamy whiteness of my skin... Which looks awful :cry: Like, all of them are visible. All of them! In winter you can only see about 4 or 5 on each arm if you look carefully, now it's hundreds. Eurghdjfhakdff.

    Spoiler:
    Show
    On holiday I didn't eat much (had a bit of a dodgy stomach, and it was so hot I didn't want to eat anything) and now I'm back I can see that I've lost a bit of weight. Bought my first ever pair of size 12 shorts yesterday and fitted into a size 10 dress :eek: All I could hear in my head was 'vanity sizing' though :sad: It's too hot to exercise and my parents keep throwing food in my face. I'm getting really really anxious and stressed about food as well. Anything that involves food that I can't have direct control of = disaster. Cases in point; yesterday as it was my birthday me and my mum decided to make a jug of Pimms to enjoy in the afternoon (alcohol in my house is an evening thing unless it's a special occasion). My BF wanted to help make it but he wasn't cutting the fruit up right so I ran off crying. Today I was making myself a sandwich for lunch and he wiped the excess hummous off his spoon onto the top half of my roll... So I threw the entire thing away and am now refusing to talk to him. Pathetic.
    I know what you mean about the silvery scars, although weirdly I've also got a couple of bright red 2 year old raised ones which really are obvious. :| I think though you should try not to worry too much about them; after all, you can't change the past. If they really bother you maybe look into getting surgery on them, I'm considering that route.

    Food is just one piece of the losing weight puzzle, exercise is also very important. Would you be able to join a gym? They're not always that expensive - 2 just opened in my area which are £14.99 and £19.99 a month, that's like a takeaway and a drink. Or, you could try HIIT running in the park in the evening so it's not too hot, or early morning.
    • 10 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    My issue with the scars showing is that they're all really, really recent. I'm trying to kid myself that they aren't obvious, although I think they are, or that I can pass them off as something else - I'm accident prone and my family have cats, those two things could serve as excuses. I bought a long sleeved cardigan today after my interview, and it's a really light fabric so it's not too warm, and I can wear it to cover up with the 'I burn really easily, this is to prevent that' excuse.
    #4

    (Original post by AmiB)
    Just woke up after a drug induced sleep so here is what has been happening over the last three days for anyone who cares to read on:

    Thursday: Came back to uni after being away for a week and a half, met my friends outside their exam and surprised them by taking them to lunch. Feeling rather jumpy and overexcitable, singing in the street etc. on a kind of high.
    Things started to get worse Thursday evening, I went back to my room and stayed there and started to dip into a dangerously low mood where I began to become a danger to myself. Decided to try and sleep on it as sometimes I can wake up in the morning and feel better.

    Friday: Woke up feeling even worse, even more a danger to myself, booked an emergency gp appt for that afternoon and then tried to sleep the rest of the day away to get away from the tormenting thoughts. My friend came with me to the drs appt because I nearly cancelled as I was too afraid to leave my room for fear of what might happen or what I might do.
    Doctor talked through what was happening, wanted to refer me to the crisis team but that meant heading to the hospital which I didn't want to do so he prescribed me 2mg diazepam to take up to 3 times a day and the numbers of the crisis teams to call if the diazepam didn't work. Took the diazepam straight away and then went home but was dragged out to a bbq (which I had originally organised but cancelled when I felt ****) by my friends and seeing as the pills had started working I went. Came home and took a third diazepam and fell asleep as my escape from the torment once again. Woke up at 3am and took another to get back to sleep again.

    Saturday: Woke up feeling even worse didn't want to leave my room, was feeling extremely impulsive and ended up spending way too much on a takeaway that i can't afford and then buying ice creams for the whole flat when the van came round. As the day went on I was getting worse and I was meant to be meeting my friends after their last exam and going shopping and for cocktails but I wasn't answering their calls. I began counting all the pills in my room and laying them next to my bed when I decided it might be tme to call the crisis team. They said they would call me back asap when my friend barged in (the one I hadn't been answering her calls) and saw me in the mess that I was in. She was convinced I had taken them all (which I hadn't) and immediately called my two other closest friends. She wanted to call an ambulance, granted I was rather non-responsive but only because I just wanted them to go and leave me in the pit that I was in and wish for it all to go away. They managed to get my mothers number even though I threw my phone out of the window and called her, she called my dad and he was frantically talking to my friends who told him to come and get me, not that he needed telling. I was so furious with my friends that I tried to run away before my dad came but they tackled me (one of my friends os a rather large guy) and kept me from getting too far. Between all this the crisis team had called and spoken to me, they gave me a number to call whenever and said they would check up on me tomorrow. My friends were just sitting in my room with me stopping me going until my dad got there. They still wanted to take me to A+E and I was happy to let them because frankly I didn't care anymore I just wanted to world to swallow me up so that I could disappear and get away from this hell. Eventually my dad arrived and threw my friends out the room so he could talk to me and with his mind games he eventually forced me to come with him. I had also taken an extra diazepam because the crisis team man had said I could but it still hadn't worked and I had an absolutely horrific headache so we drove home and I got in, got back into bed and took a sleeping pill to escape once more from the worst day of my life.

    Sunday: Woke up at 3am again but eventually got back to sleep, woke up this morning and typed this monster of a post. It feels good to type this out, congratulations to anyone who has actually read it. My mum has just come in and told me she has organised a bbq for friends tonight which means I am actually going to have to make an effort and show my face. Oh hey diazepam, please work for me tonight! Got a gp appointment tomorrow back at uni where she will hopefully tell me what we are going to try next to escape from this hell hole.

    Apologies for the long post people, thanks for being there :grouphug: :cry2:
    I'm so sorry things have been so much worse for you - but you did the right thing, I'm glad you're getting help. You're doing really well, hopefully your GP can sort something out for you tomorrow. Hang in there, there are a lot of people out there who love you :heart:

    (Original post by Idle)
    So 20 hours ago my mum was telling me she hated me and she wasn't going to pay for my college and I need to find somewhere else to live and basically just not shutting up. This morning she makes me food and coffee and acts extremely nice.

    Mind ****.
    That's alcohol for you :rolleyes: My mother has also gone off on rants about how much of a "disappointment" I am, etc, when drunk, but doesn't seem to remember saying anything by the next morning. It's just sad that they don't realise what they're doing to themselves and their children with their self-destructive behaviour. My mum is drunk pretty much every night, and usually starts as soon as she gets home from work, but earlier on weekends. It's just really sad. I worry that I'll end up the same way.
    #4

    My scars are pretty obvious too, but I've decided I don't really give a damn if strangers see them I like to kid myself that other people probably aren't looking at my arms as much as I think they might be. Even if they are, we're British! Far too polite to bring it up
    • 10 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by AmiB)
    Just woke up after a drug induced sleep so here is what has been happening over the last three days for anyone who cares to read on:

    Thursday: Came back to uni after being away for a week and a half, met my friends outside their exam and surprised them by taking them to lunch. Feeling rather jumpy and overexcitable, singing in the street etc. on a kind of high.
    Things started to get worse Thursday evening, I went back to my room and stayed there and started to dip into a dangerously low mood where I began to become a danger to myself. Decided to try and sleep on it as sometimes I can wake up in the morning and feel better.

    Friday: Woke up feeling even worse, even more a danger to myself, booked an emergency gp appt for that afternoon and then tried to sleep the rest of the day away to get away from the tormenting thoughts. My friend came with me to the drs appt because I nearly cancelled as I was too afraid to leave my room for fear of what might happen or what I might do.
    Doctor talked through what was happening, wanted to refer me to the crisis team but that meant heading to the hospital which I didn't want to do so he prescribed me 2mg diazepam to take up to 3 times a day and the numbers of the crisis teams to call if the diazepam didn't work. Took the diazepam straight away and then went home but was dragged out to a bbq (which I had originally organised but cancelled when I felt ****) by my friends and seeing as the pills had started working I went. Came home and took a third diazepam and fell asleep as my escape from the torment once again. Woke up at 3am and took another to get back to sleep again.

    Saturday: Woke up feeling even worse didn't want to leave my room, was feeling extremely impulsive and ended up spending way too much on a takeaway that i can't afford and then buying ice creams for the whole flat when the van came round. As the day went on I was getting worse and I was meant to be meeting my friends after their last exam and going shopping and for cocktails but I wasn't answering their calls. I began counting all the pills in my room and laying them next to my bed when I decided it might be tme to call the crisis team. They said they would call me back asap when my friend barged in (the one I hadn't been answering her calls) and saw me in the mess that I was in. She was convinced I had taken them all (which I hadn't) and immediately called my two other closest friends. She wanted to call an ambulance, granted I was rather non-responsive but only because I just wanted them to go and leave me in the pit that I was in and wish for it all to go away. They managed to get my mothers number even though I threw my phone out of the window and called her, she called my dad and he was frantically talking to my friends who told him to come and get me, not that he needed telling. I was so furious with my friends that I tried to run away before my dad came but they tackled me (one of my friends os a rather large guy) and kept me from getting too far. Between all this the crisis team had called and spoken to me, they gave me a number to call whenever and said they would check up on me tomorrow. My friends were just sitting in my room with me stopping me going until my dad got there. They still wanted to take me to A+E and I was happy to let them because frankly I didn't care anymore I just wanted to world to swallow me up so that I could disappear and get away from this hell. Eventually my dad arrived and threw my friends out the room so he could talk to me and with his mind games he eventually forced me to come with him. I had also taken an extra diazepam because the crisis team man had said I could but it still hadn't worked and I had an absolutely horrific headache so we drove home and I got in, got back into bed and took a sleeping pill to escape once more from the worst day of my life.

    Sunday: Woke up at 3am again but eventually got back to sleep, woke up this morning and typed this monster of a post. It feels good to type this out, congratulations to anyone who has actually read it. My mum has just come in and told me she has organised a bbq for friends tonight which means I am actually going to have to make an effort and show my face. Oh hey diazepam, please work for me tonight! Got a gp appointment tomorrow back at uni where she will hopefully tell me what we are going to try next to escape from this hell hole.

    Apologies for the long post people, thanks for being there :grouphug: :cry2:
    Sorry to hear you've had such an awful few days :hugs: really hope things improve for you soon! :jumphug:
    • 3 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by d123)
    My issue with the scars showing is that they're all really, really recent. I'm trying to kid myself that they aren't obvious, although I think they are, or that I can pass them off as something else - I'm accident prone and my family have cats, those two things could serve as excuses. I bought a long sleeved cardigan today after my interview, and it's a really light fabric so it's not too warm, and I can wear it to cover up with the 'I burn really easily, this is to prevent that' excuse.
    I'm an avid sailor and so I normally get lots of bumps and bruises from sailing anyway so my usual excuse is it's a sailing injury... Mine are burns though and the shapes look rather suspicious and not much like a sailing injury but it always seems to shut people up!
    • 10 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by AmiB)
    I'm an avid sailor and so I normally get lots of bumps and bruises from sailing anyway so my usual excuse is it's a sailing injury... Mine are burns though and the shapes look rather suspicious and not much like a sailing injury but it always seems to shut people up!
    Yeah, I guess people won't question further if you make something up!

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My scars are pretty obvious too, but I've decided I don't really give a damn if strangers see them I like to kid myself that other people probably aren't looking at my arms as much as I think they might be. Even if they are, we're British! Far too polite to bring it up
    I don't mind too much about strangers. But I had a job interview this morning which made me really paranoid about them, and I don't really want my friends to see them.
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Phoenix07)
    :hugs: can't really say much/anything helpful, but just hope you are ok hun!
    Thank you =) I'm sure I will be, going up town tomorrow to sort some things out / get some advice hopefully

    (Original post by d123)
    I know the feeling, and rambling is fine, if it helps then go ahead. If you feel like being less cryptic you can always PM me if it's things you don't want to talk about publicly.
    Thanks, and yeah it just feels like someone is listening when I'm rambling (even if they don't know what I'm on about, lol) I'll keep in mind about PMing you, thanks for the offer and the same goes to you if you ever need someone to talk to privately


    ...How is everyone feeling today anyway? I usually hate sundays but today isn't that bad, considering!
    #4

    (Original post by d123)
    I don't mind too much about strangers. But I had a job interview this morning which made me really paranoid about them, and I don't really want my friends to see them.
    You should tell your friends about them if you feel comfortable doing so, I've found it a lot easier since telling them because I know I can have my sleeves rolled up or whatever without having to worry as much about them seeing.

    I have a big problem with people at work seeing mine I work in a hairdressers, and due to all the hair-washing ideally need to have my sleeves rolled up quite a lot. Suffice it to say, I usually have very wet sleeves by the end of the day
    • 62 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    :sigh: I hate being so lonely all the time, I see my family but it just isn't the same or enough for me to feel like im actually having good interactions with people.

    plus I really hate that Facebook is my only means of keeping in touch with people, if it weren't I would delete it permanently cause everytime people post **** about having fun or worse yet photos of them all having fun, I just want to die.
    • 10 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SciFiBoy)
    :sigh: I hate being so lonely all the time, I see my family but it just isn't the same or enough for me to feel like im actually having good interactions with people.

    plus I really hate that Facebook is my only means of keeping in touch with people, if it weren't I would delete it permanently cause everytime people post **** about having fun or worse yet photos of them all having fun, I just want to die.
    :hugs: Loneliness is really horrible I think I'm seeing my best friend later, but part of me actually wants to be alone right now although I don't think that's a good idea.
    • 62 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by d123)
    :hugs: Loneliness is really horrible I think I'm seeing my best friend later, but part of me actually wants to be alone right now although I don't think that's a good idea.
    I really hate it, I am seeing friends on the 7th June, but getting to that day just seems to get harder, not easier in my mind :cry2: I see family, but just isn't the same really. my mood is all over the place atm, as is my sleep, and when I do sleep last few days, I haven't dreamt and end up feeling like not slept at all is also crazy hot atm, and my body hates heat, I sweat like **** knows what and I really hate it.

    sigh, I need to start feeling better soon, cause this is all way too much at times.
    • 10 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SciFiBoy)
    I really hate it, I am seeing friends on the 7th June, but getting to that day just seems to get harder, not easier in my mind :cry2: I see family, but just isn't the same really. my mood is all over the place atm, as is my sleep, and when I do sleep last few days, I haven't dreamt and end up feeling like not slept at all is also crazy hot atm, and my body hates heat, I sweat like **** knows what and I really hate it.

    sigh, I need to start feeling better soon, cause this is all way too much at times.
    Just try and hang on in there until the 7th :hugs:

    My body hates heat as well. And now I have to go to the park and hang out there.
    • 62 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by d123)
    Just try and hang on in there until the 7th :hugs:

    My body hates heat as well. And now I have to go to the park and hang out there.
    I will, just wish it weren't so hard

    have fun at the park!
    • 40 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by superwolf)
    .
    Can I ask you a few things about interruptions? Mine was okayed a few weeks ago, I've just not been online much.

    ---

    Not doing great to be honest. I've had a few bad nights but now those thoughts mainly pop up in my dreams. I'm having really weird dreams. Like... Yeah.
    • 10 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    No longer going to the park. Feel faint and headachey and meh.
    • 3 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by d123)
    No longer going to the park. Feel faint and headachey and meh.
    :hugs: drink some water? Sounds like you could be dehydrated?

    ----------

    Diazepam seems to do nothing at all for me, had 5mg about two hours ago with no change whatsoever... :crazy:
    • 10 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by AmiB)
    :hugs: drink some water? Sounds like you could be dehydrated?

    ----------

    Diazepam seems to do nothing at all for me, had 5mg about two hours ago with no change whatsoever... :crazy:
    Yeah, I've got some water now. Can't stand up without feeling faint, which is making my mood plummet as well. Just need to remember about my counselling session tomorrow morning. Absolutely terrified for it because I really don't know what to expect, despite reassurances from people on here that it'll be alright.

    That sucks about the medication
    • 14 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Decided to finally come off anon... anon #4 here! :wavey:
    • 1 follower
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    yay got the old barbecue tonight
Updated: September 9, 2012
New on TSR

Halloween 2014

Spooky tales from this year's fright night

Article updates
Reputation gems:
You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.