[Sabertooth]

I feel ashamed and scared of myself.

Spoiler:

Show

Was cutting vegetables and I started being unable to see properly, all I could see was the knife and blood on everything, they were shouting that I needed to stab someone it's the only way to save myself. I feel so frightened. This is not normal this is scary ****. I can't tell my girlfriend she's gonna think I'm crazy....I think I am. Normal people don't get this

[sunfowers01]

(Original post by luno)
What's up?

I hurt myself again.

[bytail]

(Original post by Sabertooth)
I feel ashamed and scared of myself.

Spoiler:

Show

Was cutting vegetables and I started being unable to see properly, all I could see was the knife and blood on everything, they were shouting that I needed to stab someone it's the only way to save myself. I feel so frightened. This is not normal this is scary ****. I can't tell my girlfriend she's gonna think I'm crazy....I think I am. Normal people don't get this

Might be a good idea to head down to A&E? I know you won't want to, but it's better than the voices getting worse and you feeling like you have to hurt someone.

[Sabertooth]

(Original post by bytail)
Might be a good idea to head down to A&E? I know you won't want to, but it's better than the voices getting worse and you feeling like you have to hurt someone.

I won't hurt anyone the knives are in the other room but that doesn't stop me being scared. I'm searching google for solutions and yet again coming up with nothing I haven't already tried. Why is the no ****ing way out???

[bytail]

(Original post by Sabertooth)
I won't hurt anyone the knives are in the other room but that doesn't stop me being scared. I'm searching google for solutions and yet again coming up with nothing I haven't already tried. Why is the no ****ing way out???

No, it's perfectly understandable that you're scared, it sounds terrifying Can you get in touch with your psychiatrist any time soon? It's really important that you tell them about this, because it could just be that your meds need adjusting again. If you start feeling unsafe please tell your girlfriend (I'm sure she'd rather you told her, even if she seems annoyed or upset)

[bullettheory]

(Original post by Sabertooth)
I feel ashamed and scared of myself.

Spoiler:

Show

Was cutting vegetables and I started being unable to see properly, all I could see was the knife and blood on everything, they were shouting that I needed to stab someone it's the only way to save myself. I feel so frightened. This is not normal this is scary ****. I can't tell my girlfriend she's gonna think I'm crazy....I think I am. Normal people don't get this

that must be really scary. I'm sorry that it's happening to you.

Edit (pressed the button by accident...) I know you find it hard to tell your girlfriend, but maybe you don't need her to know exactly what you are being told but just ask her to stay with you for now. Keep the knifes away and just sit with her. From before I seem to remember she is good at calming you down

This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

[d123]

(Original post by Sabertooth)
I feel ashamed and scared of myself.

Spoiler:

Show

Was cutting vegetables and I started being unable to see properly, all I could see was the knife and blood on everything, they were shouting that I needed to stab someone it's the only way to save myself. I feel so frightened. This is not normal this is scary ****. I can't tell my girlfriend she's gonna think I'm crazy....I think I am. Normal people don't get this

I think you probably should tell someone if you can. It sounds really scary, but you shouldn't be ashamed, and don't worry about people thinking you're crazy. Your girlfriend loves you, I'm sure, and she would want you to get the help you need. If you can't tell her, maybe try speaking to a doctor, though I know that's terrifying and difficult, and might not seem helpful but I think it's necessary.

[Sabertooth]

(Original post by bytail)
No, it's perfectly understandable that you're scared, it sounds terrifying Can you get in touch with your psychiatrist any time soon? It's really important that you tell them about this, because it could just be that your meds need adjusting again. If you start feeling unsafe please tell your girlfriend (I'm sure she'd rather you told her, even if she seems annoyed or upset)

I'm seeing my CPN next week, I dunno about psychiatrist not sure if I'm seeing her again. I have no idea why things are so hard and they are so loud recently.

(Original post by bullettheory)
that must be really scary. I'm sorry that it's happening to you.

Edit (pressed the button by accident...) I know you find it hard to tell your girlfriend, but maybe you don't need her to know exactly what you are being told but just ask her to stay with you for now. Keep the knifes away and just sit with her. From before I seem to remember she is good at calming you down

This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

I will do that, thank you, she is amazing I feel ashamed of whats happening but she will make me feel better. I'm just scared she'll think horrible things about me or be scared of me and I could never forgive myself for scaring her.

[Sabertooth]

(Original post by d123)


I think you probably should tell someone if you can. It sounds really scary, but you shouldn't be ashamed, and don't worry about people thinking you're crazy. Your girlfriend loves you, I'm sure, and she would want you to get the help you need. If you can't tell her, maybe try speaking to a doctor, though I know that's terrifying and difficult, and might not seem helpful but I think it's necessary.

I'll go with bullettheory and tell her, I need someone to give me a hug desperately right now. I'm worried about telling the doctor about this, I can NOT go to hospital.

Thanks.

[kiss_me_now9]

I have developed a terrible habit of not listening to things that are being said to me/on the TV. It's like it just doesn't even penetrate my ears sometimes :/

[d123]

(Original post by Sabertooth)
I'll go with bullettheory and tell her, I need someone to give me a hug desperately right now. I'm worried about telling the doctor about this, I can NOT go to hospital.

Thanks.

I'm glad you're going to tell her, let us know if there's anything we can do to help.

[bytail]

(Original post by Sabertooth)
I'm seeing my CPN next week, I dunno about psychiatrist not sure if I'm seeing her again. I have no idea why things are so hard and they are so loud recently.

I will do that, thank you, she is amazing I feel ashamed of whats happening but she will make me feel better. I'm just scared she'll think horrible things about me or be scared of me and I could never forgive myself for scaring her.

I'll go with bullettheory and tell her, I need someone to give me a hug desperately right now. I'm worried about telling the doctor about this, I can NOT go to hospital.

Thanks.

Let your CPN know then No, it sounds like you're having a terrible time of it at the moment I hope your girlfriend helps calm you down, just stay with her if you need to. Hospital would only be a last resort, and at the end of the day you're better off telling them because you don't want things to get worse and then find yourself being sectioned

[concubine]

I made the mistake of touching myself after cutting a bunch of chilis.

I do this fairly often, as I like chilis, and usually it's kinda a nice albeit hot pain. But this is different. It's like my penis is trapped in a blender with blades made of fire.



None of this would happen if antidepressants did what they claimed to do and decreased my excessive libido, which should its self also be reduced through depression.

Life is unfair.


We don't even have any yoghurt.

[bullettheory]

(Original post by Sabertooth)
I will do that, thank you, she is amazing I feel ashamed of whats happening but she will make me feel better. I'm just scared she'll think horrible things about me or be scared of me and I could never forgive myself for scaring her.

I'm glad, she sounds really good for you At the end of day it's not your fault, I know it's hard to keep telling yourself that, but it's not your fault, and you dont need to he ashamed. I dont think she is going to react like that, she loves you and she just wants to help. I know you don't want to tell your CPN and I understand why not, but I think you should tell them, because if they are getting louder, hopefully they can do something to help.



This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

[littleshambles]

(Original post by Sabertooth)
Have you tried any pills to help you sleep? Ime some seem to stop you dreaming as much.

atm quetiapine still gets me off to sleep, i'm not sure there's anything that would stop the dreaming really... apart from more quetiapine maybe. but i get the feeling that would be a silly road to go down

[littleshambles]

also have to give in my module choices for next year tomorrow and although i've been doing fine and academia is like The Thing That I Am Good At this little spell has made me think I shouldn't do a dissertation because it would stress me out and mess up the whole year probably. I'm thinking I can find a way around it by doing a part time taught masters and then using that to go into research but it feels like such a huge ****ing failure not to do a dissertation like everyone else. It's not like I'm not intelligent enough to do it.

[luno]

(Original post by Sabertooth)
I feel ashamed and scared of myself.

Spoiler:

Show

Was cutting vegetables and I started being unable to see properly, all I could see was the knife and blood on everything, they were shouting that I needed to stab someone it's the only way to save myself. I feel so frightened. This is not normal this is scary ****. I can't tell my girlfriend she's gonna think I'm crazy....I think I am. Normal people don't get this

I'm really sorry this is happening to you. You've already received some good advice from others on this thread but I just want to say lots of hugs and positive thoughts from me .

[Anonymous]

I went late to my last CBT session, changed the the day and time twice. I was meant to go through Social Anxiety tips and instead ended up not doing anything and just went teary over not being able to think of what to say.

[avhhs]

Had a good day today, even with my family . Although was feeling crap at certain times.

6000th post in the thread

[kiss_me_now9]

Been feeling really anxious all day, really tight chest and hard to breathe since I got up this morning. **** it. Alcohol will help.