[SciFiRory]

(Original post by d123)
I think she thinks my yearning for someone is about wanting someone to have sex with, when really it's so much more than that, so a ONS really wouldn't solve the actual problems. Like Ami says, it'd be selfdestructive.

ah, I see, yeah I imagine people would think that if I spoke to them about how I feel as well, but for me is the same, that's not really what am looking for, so much more than that!

[SciFiRory]

this song so much, lyrics below for anyone who wants to know why.

Spoiler:

Show

I WRITE THIS ALONE IN MY BED
I'VE POISONED EVERY ROOM IN THE HOUSE
THE PLACE IS QUIET AND SO ALONE
PRETEND THERE'S SOMETHING WORTH WAITING FOR
THERE'S NOTHING NICE IN MY HEAD
THE ADULT WORLD TOOK IT ALL AWAY
WAKE UP WITH THE SAME SPIT IN MY MOUTH
CANNOT TELL IF IT'S REAL OR NOT
I TRY AND WALK IN A STRAIGHT LINE
AN IMITATION OF DIGNITY
FROM DESPAIR TO WHERE
FROM DESPAIR TO WHERE
OUTSIDE OPEN MOUTHED CROWDS
PASS EACH OTHER AS IF THEY'RE DRUGGED
DOWN PALE CORRIDORS OF ROUTINE
WHERE LIFE FALLS UNATONED
THE WEAK KICK LIKE STRAW '
TILL THE WORLD MEANS LESS AND LESS
WORDS ARE NEVER ENOUGH
JUST CHEAP TARNISHED GLITTER
I TRY AND WALK IN A STRAIGHT LINE
AN IMITATION OF DIGNITY
FROM DESPAIR TO WHERE
FROM DESPAIR TO WHERE
A CRIPPLE WALKS IN A STRAIGHT LINE
AN IMITATION OF DIGNITY
FROM DESPAIR TO WHERE
FROM DESPAIR TO WHERE

[Stiff Little Fingers]

(Original post by SciFiBoy)
this song so much, lyrics below for anyone who wants to know why.

Spoiler:

Show

I WRITE THIS ALONE IN MY BED
I'VE POISONED EVERY ROOM IN THE HOUSE
THE PLACE IS QUIET AND SO ALONE
PRETEND THERE'S SOMETHING WORTH WAITING FOR
THERE'S NOTHING NICE IN MY HEAD
THE ADULT WORLD TOOK IT ALL AWAY
WAKE UP WITH THE SAME SPIT IN MY MOUTH
CANNOT TELL IF IT'S REAL OR NOT
I TRY AND WALK IN A STRAIGHT LINE
AN IMITATION OF DIGNITY
FROM DESPAIR TO WHERE
FROM DESPAIR TO WHERE
OUTSIDE OPEN MOUTHED CROWDS
PASS EACH OTHER AS IF THEY'RE DRUGGED
DOWN PALE CORRIDORS OF ROUTINE
WHERE LIFE FALLS UNATONED
THE WEAK KICK LIKE STRAW '
TILL THE WORLD MEANS LESS AND LESS
WORDS ARE NEVER ENOUGH
JUST CHEAP TARNISHED GLITTER
I TRY AND WALK IN A STRAIGHT LINE
AN IMITATION OF DIGNITY
FROM DESPAIR TO WHERE
FROM DESPAIR TO WHERE
A CRIPPLE WALKS IN A STRAIGHT LINE
AN IMITATION OF DIGNITY
FROM DESPAIR TO WHERE
FROM DESPAIR TO WHERE

Manics

Awesome band.

[superwolf]

(Original post by d123)
I hope you're right, I really do. Being 20 and never having been in a proper relationship just feels like a bad sign.

24 and never had one. Never wanted one either mind.

(Original post by kiss_me_now9)
No lemons, just dog ****. Not much you can make from that.

Fertiliser!

[SciFiRory]

(Original post by Alofleicester)
Manics

Awesome band.

I listen to almost nothing but thesedays, nothing else really speaks to how I feel, the sound and the lyrics are just perfect

[AntisthenesDogger]

Things are seeming to settle a bit now. With myself too mind.

I've been on new medication and a heavier dosage eh.

Now I can't sleep at all...

[d123]

(Original post by SciFiBoy)
this song so much, lyrics below for anyone who wants to know why.

Spoiler:

Show

I WRITE THIS ALONE IN MY BED
I'VE POISONED EVERY ROOM IN THE HOUSE
THE PLACE IS QUIET AND SO ALONE
PRETEND THERE'S SOMETHING WORTH WAITING FOR
THERE'S NOTHING NICE IN MY HEAD
THE ADULT WORLD TOOK IT ALL AWAY
WAKE UP WITH THE SAME SPIT IN MY MOUTH
CANNOT TELL IF IT'S REAL OR NOT
I TRY AND WALK IN A STRAIGHT LINE
AN IMITATION OF DIGNITY
FROM DESPAIR TO WHERE
FROM DESPAIR TO WHERE
OUTSIDE OPEN MOUTHED CROWDS
PASS EACH OTHER AS IF THEY'RE DRUGGED
DOWN PALE CORRIDORS OF ROUTINE
WHERE LIFE FALLS UNATONED
THE WEAK KICK LIKE STRAW '
TILL THE WORLD MEANS LESS AND LESS
WORDS ARE NEVER ENOUGH
JUST CHEAP TARNISHED GLITTER
I TRY AND WALK IN A STRAIGHT LINE
AN IMITATION OF DIGNITY
FROM DESPAIR TO WHERE
FROM DESPAIR TO WHERE
A CRIPPLE WALKS IN A STRAIGHT LINE
AN IMITATION OF DIGNITY
FROM DESPAIR TO WHERE
FROM DESPAIR TO WHERE

The Manics are awesome. Fantastic live as well!

[SciFiRory]

(Original post by d123)
The Manics are awesome. Fantastic live as well!

they are the best! never seen them live would love to though, I have all their stuff on my iPhone

[laut_biru]

(Original post by AntisthenesDogger)
Things are seeming to settle a bit now. With myself too mind.

I've been on new medication and a heavier dosage eh.

Now I can't sleep at all...

What've they put you on?

Hopefully the insomnia will pass as you get more used to it.

[d123]

(Original post by SciFiBoy)
they are the best! never seen them live would love to though, I have all their stuff on my iPhone

Saw them on the Send Away the Tigers tour I don't actually have most of their stuff on my iPod, that's an oversight that will be corrected once I go home where all my CDs are

[SciFiRory]

(Original post by d123)
Saw them on the Send Away the Tigers tour I don't actually have most of their stuff on my iPod, that's an oversight that will be corrected once I go home where all my CDs are

cool I have seen live stuff on youtube and dvd but that's it! would love to go see them sometime though! I have four of their albums on CD in my mums car though I doubt she ever listens to them lol, probably just as well, im not sure she would appreciate The Holy Bible or Journal for Plague Lovers...

[d123]

Another sleepless night...

[Anonymous]

(Original post by d123)
Another sleepless night...

Tell me about it !

[d123]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Tell me about it !

Glad it's not just me! Really need to get this insomnia sorted.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by d123)
Glad it's not just me! Really need to get this insomnia sorted.

Me too, it drives me nuts when I can't sleep properly I just don't ever seem to get sleepy at the moment. Didn't sleep at all yesterday night, then took a 4 hour nap in the afternoon, and haven't slept since. Going to the doctors in a few hours though so hopefully I'll get some advice on it. Do you have any idea what's causing yours?

[avhhs]

(Original post by AmiB)
Know what you mean about having a girlfriend (or boyfriend in my case!) to spend time with at the moment, I have a good base of friends and one guy who I am really close to (although he is going out with one of my other close friends) because he is going through a very similar thing, both been put on happy pills at relatively the same time and both on leave from uni at the moment and has been such a good support but they are all back in Sheffield at the moment and I am here. Also not the same as having a boyfriend which I long for a lot.

You can PM me if you want to chat about anything at all, might be nice to just offload to someone

(Original post by d123)
I know the feeling I hate that every single night I go to bed by myself and wake up by myself. I have friends who, if I feel lonely during the day, I can text and chances are there'll be someone free to hang out, and I'm so lucky to have that. But right now, I just want someone to lie next to me and hold me. And I don't have that, and it's horrible.

(Original post by SciFiBoy)
exactly, I just spend so much time on my own atm, the only people I ever really see are my family when they are around, and tbh whilst I get on okay with them it just isn't the same as being with friends yet alone having a girlfriend. I feel really lonely all the time at the moment as a result, don't have any friends here even to talk to and my Uni friends rarely reply to facebook messages too, other than TSR I don't have any kind of social interaction most of the time. I just really wish I had someone who I could talk to and spend time with and hug and be close too and stuff

Exactly what I long for too, to have a girlfriend . No girl is interested in me . Last night I was thinking about a girl in my class, but I really don't deserve her. Being alone is just so boring

(Original post by kiss_me_now9)
First kiss - 18 when I was pissed off my face, dressed in a school girl outfit on hallowe'en, 2 stone over weight. First proper relationship (I don't count the douchebag I 'dated' for a month anymore) - 20 years and a lot old, with a guy I truly love, who I hope to be with for the rest of my life. I know people who didn't even kiss a person until they were 21/22... don't forget that most people don't find their soul mate until later in life, like mid 20s. Don't put a time limit on love!

I've never kissed a girl either, but then again I'm only 17

[avhhs]

Argh been over an hour since I wrote up and haven't been able to sleep since. Had an amazing dream (no, it wasn't about me having a girlfriend ). But now I can't sleep, and I'm hungry

[Anonymous]

I have just been referred to the crisis team (issues with depression, anxiety etc) and have been told I will be having an assessment done by them today, does anybody know what this is likely to involve?

[Anonymous]

Just got back from my GP. He's leaving the practice soon apparently Sad because he's a really nice doctor and it'll be a bit scary seeing someone new!

He's keeping me on the 20mg of citalopram because he says it's "highly likely" that it'll kick in over the next couple of weeks. Apparently I was re-referred from CAMHS to the psychological well-being service, but I'm not sure whether they'll be in touch or not seeing as when I went for the assessment the woman told me just to continue seeing the therapist at school

So I'm going to give the 20mg another 2 weeks. If it hasn't kicked in by then I'll go back the the doctors and see what they can do. I just really hope it starts working soon.

Out of interest, if you go to A&E due to feeling suicidal, what happens? I keep being told to go if I want to hurt myself, but I can't really see how it would help?

[superwolf]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Just got back from my GP. He's leaving the practice soon apparently Sad because he's a really nice doctor and it'll be a bit scary seeing someone new!

He's keeping me on the 20mg of citalopram because he says it's "highly likely" that it'll kick in over the next couple of weeks. Apparently I was re-referred from CAMHS to the psychological well-being service, but I'm not sure whether they'll be in touch or not seeing as when I went for the assessment the woman told me just to continue seeing the therapist at school

So I'm going to give the 20mg another 2 weeks. If it hasn't kicked in by then I'll go back the the doctors and see what they can do. I just really hope it starts working soon.

Out of interest, if you go to A&E due to feeling suicidal, what happens? I keep being told to go if I want to hurt myself, but I can't really see how it would help?

Sorry to hear you'll have to change doctor - always a bit nerve-wracking. And I really hope the citalopram does kick in soon for you.


Re: A&E, I've only done that the once, and my circumstances weren't quite the usual - I was sent there by my GP after she'd judged that I was too unsafe not to be in hospital, and I'd agreed to be admitted. So she faxed A&E a letter, and after the usual million year wait to see someone there I talked to a psychiatrist and got put on a psychiatric ward. So that's one possible outcome of going to A&E. However I'd really stress that it's pretty unlikely that you'd end up being hospitalised, particularly against your will - for one thing, they simply don't have the beds. From hearing other people on here's stories, what's more likely to happen is that they'll again keep you waiting for a silly amount of time, then have you assessed by a psychiatrist and decide to put you in contact with people like the Crisis Team, who would quite likely come and check up on you the next day.

Hopefully other people will post with their experiences too so you get a fuller picture of what can happen if you do go to A&E, but I thought I'd tell you what happened with me since it is one of the possible outcomes, just a less likely one.