(Original post by Anonymous)
I broke up with my first boyfriend of 3 years because since i'd been living far away for a job, I felt like it had changed for the worst and there were not many opportunities to be intimate, I wondered if I had lost my attraction for him a little and I still loved him as a person, but that spark had gone.. and if was time to move on and maybe we should just be friends.
Not long after we broke up I slept with a guy who I had started liking, which I know was terrible because it was so soon after the break-up, and I completely regret that we slept together,
My boyfriend was absolutely devastated, I knew how much i'd hurt him and thought i'd been stupid to break up with him the first place. The other guy told me he really likes me and wants to be with me, and how beautiful I am, how alike we are, etc, and I told him it was wrong we slept together, I had to make it right with my boyfriend and we had to forget each other. I feel though that he will soon realise what a horrid person I am and he'll begin to resent me.
He was very sad about this but seemed to understand, and we haven't spoken since. I feel terrible for what i've done to my ex boyfriend, because he is honestly the nicest person i've ever met. I feel even worse because the guy I slept with wasn't someone I had picked up in a club or something, we had talked a lot, we got on well, and I thought he was really nice.
Now i'm wondering if it can ever be right again with my boyfriend. A couple of mutual friends have told him to never get back with me, and that if it was their boyfriend/girlfriend, then they would not take them back.
I am wondering if it could ever be normal again with my boyfriend, I know we had so many great memories, we got on really well, and did most things together, he was my life. I am worried if we got back together then it would be difficult for us to be normal and people might try to persuade him to not be with me again, or he might change his mind, which I couldn't blame him for.
I keep thinking what i've done to such a nice person and wondering if I even deserve another chance. He did nothing wrong. He is extremely forgiving and I'm just wondering how it could ever be right again, I feel disgusting and like I don't deserve him ever again... he doesn't deserve any more hurt at all.
I know sometimes things just run their course but I don't understand why I did this to such a nice person. I see friends who are engaged/living with their boyfriends and how committed they are, and I feel like I will never amount to that.