[Anonymous]

I have a 'flirtationship' with an asian boy, and I sometimes have thoughts about taking it further, but he's from a strict muslim family and it really intimidates me. What should I do? He's very funny, gentlemanly and we get on really well, but nobody in my family has ever dated a muslim... I'm not sure how they would react.

[Anonymous]

Ahh I got my hopes up, theres a girl I like who's white that I flirt with, and I'm brown but I'm Sikh...Thought it was my lucky day haha

[Spoiltteenbrat]

Are you crazy !!!!

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Spoiltteenbrat)
Are you crazy !!!!

What do you mean?

[SaintSoldier]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Ahh I got my hopes up, theres a girl I like who's white that I flirt with, and I'm brown but I'm Sikh...Thought it was my lucky day haha

You don't become Sikh by being born into a Sikh family, you have to earn it.

Clean up your act bro, and you'll be accepted with open arms.

[The_Crocker]

(Original post by Saifoo8)
Just go with it, nothing to lose. Actually it should be him asking the questions since he's from a strict background, but nothing for you to be wary about. If your enjoying his company then why stop.

says more about you rly. sounds like your desperate for it to happen

[Anonymous]

(Original post by SaintSoldier)


You don't become Sikh by being born into a Sikh family, you have to earn it.

Clean up your act bro, and you'll be accepted with open arms.

What makes you say I haven't earned it?

[SaintSoldier]

(Original post by Anonymous)
What makes you say I haven't earned it?

The fact that you're flirting with girls....

Don't get me wrong, Sikhism isn't like Islam where no contact is allowed. But flirting is going to far, and is not permissable.

Bhai Gurdas states "A Sikh casting his eyes upon the beautiful womenfolk of families other than his own regards them as his mothers, sisters and daughters."

Ghulam Muhaiy ud-Din, a Muslim historian from the time, states in the Fatuhat Namah-i-Samadi, "[The Sikhs] look upon all women in the light of mothers."

[Anonymous]

(Original post by SaintSoldier)
The fact that you're flirting with girls....

Don't get me wrong, Sikhism isn't like Islam where no contact is allowed. But flirting is going to far, and is not permissable.

Bhai Gurdas states "A Sikh casting his eyes upon the beautiful womenfolk of families other than his own regards them as his mothers, sisters and daughters."

Ghulam Muhaiy ud-Din, a Muslim historian from the time, states in the Fatuhat Namah-i-Samadi, "[The Sikhs] look upon all women in the light of mothers."

For the record, I flirt with one girl. I feel there's nothing wrong with flirting, its harmless. It's just a bit of fun. It's not like I'm flirting with every girl I see. Don't tell me you're one of those Sikhs who will frown upon me for engaging in relationships with people who aren't Sikh.

[SaintSoldier]

(Original post by Anonymous)
For the record, I flirt with one girl. I feel there's nothing wrong with flirting, its harmless. It's just a bit of fun. It's not like I'm flirting with every girl I see.

Trust me, what starts off has "harmless" talk will lead you way away from Dharam (faith) before you realise it....

Don't tell me you're one of those Sikhs who will frown upon me for engaging in relationships with people who aren't Sikh.

Depends what you mean by "relationships." If you mean friendship, then that's absolutely fine. In fact, that's encouraged from a Sikh stand point. It builds your ties with other people and makes you a better person.

But if you mean boyfriend-girlfriend relationships, then that is not allowed, even between two Sikhs.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by SaintSoldier)
Trust me, what starts off has "harmless" talk will lead you way away from Dharam (faith) before you realise it....



Depends what you mean by "relationships." If you mean friendship, then that's absolutely fine. In fact, that's encouraged from a Sikh stand point. It builds your ties with other people and makes you a better person.

But if you mean boyfriend-girlfriend relationships, then that is not allowed, even between two Sikhs.

I thought Sikhism taught that there is equality between every person though? Wouldn't that mean no matter what faith a person believes in they should be treated as my equal, meaning there would be no problem between engaging a romantic relationship with them?

(Btw I am very thankful for the current info you're providing me with, I didn't know about all this stuff )

[SaintSoldier]

(Original post by Anonymous)
I thought Sikhism taught that there is equality between every person though? Wouldn't that mean no matter what faith a person believes in they should be treated as my equal, meaning there would be no problem between engaging a romantic relationship with them?

I'm assuming you're talking about marriage here. This article from www.realsikhism.com should clear things up:

"Sikhs preach to marry a Sikh because of greater compatibility. Sikhs still consider people from all religions equal.

Everyone has a goal in life. If you have a similar goal as your partner, you will achieve that goal with a companion and with less obstacles. However, if you have a goal which varies from your spouse's goal, then you will experience lots of disagreement, arguments, and eventually a lot of obstacles to reach your goal.

Sikhism preaches that the purpose of our life is to become One with God. One can achieve this goal by following Guru's teachings and the lifestyle shown by Sikh Gurus. If one marries a Sikh, they will have the same lifestyle and great compatibility. Husband and wife can help each other and walk hand in hand on the path shown by Sikh Gurus to achieve the goal together.

Sikhs have a great respect for other religions. Sikhs consider all humans as equal. No one is shunned away from entering the Gurdwara Sahib. Everyone eats Langar sitting at the same level on the ground signifying humbleness and equality. Sikhs are not to discriminate based on religion, class, culture, color, ethnicity, or gender. Meaning no one is denied rights because of their looks or which religion they belong to. However, when it comes to marriage, one has to find a compatible match with similar values and beliefs.

This does not mean a Christian, Hindu, or a Muslim is not good enough for a Sikh. The belief system practiced by some Christian, Hindus, and Muslim is not compatible with Sikhism. Sikhs with great respect disagree with some beliefs and practices followed by some religions.

Sikh Gurus' teachings are logical, practical, and moral. One who believes in them and follows them is known as a Sikh. Since the purpose of human life is to become One with God. We should love God, Meditate on Him, and live a lifestyle shown by Sikh Gurus to keep ourselves focused to meet God. Marrying a Sikh makes us stronger and much more focused to achieve this goal."

Rehatname make it clear that Sikhs should only marry Sikhs because we have a common goal, and both the husband and wife can help each other to achieve that goal.

"Have relations with a Sikh of the Guru" (Rehatnama Bhai Chaupa Singh)

"Killing a daughter or to give a daughter (in marriage) to a non-Sikh, such a person commits great offence. Sikh should give his daughter (in marriage) to a Sikh. Thus Gurmukh meets a Gurmukh. Giving a daughter to a Bhadni (non-Sikh) is like giving nectar to a snake." (Rehatnama Bhai Desa Singh)

"A Sikh gives (in marriage) his daughter to a Sikh and does not accept any money in exchange. He is my Sikh and will reach in the Lord's presence." (Guru Pratap Surya)

"When the daughter comes of age only then relations should be contracted, not for a very young girl. And the relations should be Sikhs of the Guru." (Prem Sumagar)

Remember, this does not mean that the Sikhs are entitled to special treatment or are some sort of master race, because Guru Gobind Singh clearly tells us "Recognise the entire human race as one."

I'll put it this way. If your wife is fasting, and making your children fast, but you as a Sikh think this is wrong, then what are you supposed to do? Let your kids fall into illusion and false practices by doing nothing, or harm your relationship with your wife by putting a stop to it? If you're trying to tell your kids the sakhis of the Gurus, and your wife is telling them that they are false prophets, then who are they supposed to believe? This problems woudn't arise in a Sikh marriage.

(Btw I am very thankful for the current info you're providing me with, I didn't know about all this stuff )

Come along to the Ask About Sikhism thread if you want to know more

[Anonymous]

(Original post by SaintSoldier)
I'm assuming you're talking about marriage here. This article from www.realsikhism.com should clear things up:

"Sikhs preach to marry a Sikh because of greater compatibility. Sikhs still consider people from all religions equal.

Everyone has a goal in life. If you have a similar goal as your partner, you will achieve that goal with a companion and with less obstacles. However, if you have a goal which varies from your spouse's goal, then you will experience lots of disagreement, arguments, and eventually a lot of obstacles to reach your goal.

Sikhism preaches that the purpose of our life is to become One with God. One can achieve this goal by following Guru's teachings and the lifestyle shown by Sikh Gurus. If one marries a Sikh, they will have the same lifestyle and great compatibility. Husband and wife can help each other and walk hand in hand on the path shown by Sikh Gurus to achieve the goal together.

Sikhs have a great respect for other religions. Sikhs consider all humans as equal. No one is shunned away from entering the Gurdwara Sahib. Everyone eats Langar sitting at the same level on the ground signifying humbleness and equality. Sikhs are not to discriminate based on religion, class, culture, color, ethnicity, or gender. Meaning no one is denied rights because of their looks or which religion they belong to. However, when it comes to marriage, one has to find a compatible match with similar values and beliefs.

This does not mean a Christian, Hindu, or a Muslim is not good enough for a Sikh. The belief system practiced by some Christian, Hindus, and Muslim is not compatible with Sikhism. Sikhs with great respect disagree with some beliefs and practices followed by some religions.

Sikh Gurus' teachings are logical, practical, and moral. One who believes in them and follows them is known as a Sikh. Since the purpose of human life is to become One with God. We should love God, Meditate on Him, and live a lifestyle shown by Sikh Gurus to keep ourselves focused to meet God. Marrying a Sikh makes us stronger and much more focused to achieve this goal."

Rehatname make it clear that Sikhs should only marry Sikhs because we have a common goal, and both the husband and wife can help each other to achieve that goal.

"Have relations with a Sikh of the Guru" (Rehatnama Bhai Chaupa Singh)

"Killing a daughter or to give a daughter (in marriage) to a non-Sikh, such a person commits great offence. Sikh should give his daughter (in marriage) to a Sikh. Thus Gurmukh meets a Gurmukh. Giving a daughter to a Bhadni (non-Sikh) is like giving nectar to a snake." (Rehatnama Bhai Desa Singh)

"A Sikh gives (in marriage) his daughter to a Sikh and does not accept any money in exchange. He is my Sikh and will reach in the Lord's presence." (Guru Pratap Surya)

"When the daughter comes of age only then relations should be contracted, not for a very young girl. And the relations should be Sikhs of the Guru." (Prem Sumagar)

Remember, this does not mean that the Sikhs are entitled to special treatment or are some sort of master race, because Guru Gobind Singh clearly tells us "Recognise the entire human race as one."

I'll put it this way. If your wife is fasting, and making your children fast, but you as a Sikh think this is wrong, then what are you supposed to do? Let your kids fall into illusion and false practices by doing nothing, or harm your relationship with your wife by putting a stop to it? If you're trying to tell your kids the sakhis of the Gurus, and your wife is telling them that they are false prophets, then who are they supposed to believe? This problems woudn't arise in a Sikh marriage.



Come along to the Ask About Sikhism thread if you want to know more

Thank you! I really appreciate it. I just believe I need to learn more before I can make a decision about my faith as a whole. I see what you mean about relationships between sikhs, but then I think what if there is a girl who is not a sikh, but makes me feel greater than anyone else in this world. Upbringing of children could be tough though, but I know couples with different beliefs who make it work.

[SaintSoldier]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you! I really appreciate it. I just believe I need to learn more before I can make a decision about my faith as a whole. I see what you mean about relationships between sikhs, but then I think what if there is a girl who is not a sikh, but makes me feel greater than anyone else in this world. Upbringing of children could be tough though, but I know couples with different beliefs who make it work.

No problem

Sikhism is 100% common sense, everything can be explained through logic and reason.

[hfreaks]

(Original post by Anonymous)
I have a 'flirtationship' with an asian boy, and I sometimes have thoughts about taking it further, but he's from a strict muslim family and it really intimidates me. What should I do? He's very funny, gentlemanly and we get on really well, but nobody in my family has ever dated a muslim... I'm not sure how they would react.

What to do with the religeon, race ??

You like eachother right ??

So bang bang and enjoy your happy times together

[RolyBholi]

(Original post by SaintSoldier)
No problem

Sikhism is 100% common sense, everything can be explained through logic and reason.

The existence of god? No? Didn't think so. That's a completely ridiculous thing to say about any religion.


I used to be 'Sikh'. Like you said, being born into a religion doesn't really mean anything- you have to earn it and understand it, else you are just 'Sikh' in name (and honestly, I don't see the point in calling oneself a member of that faith if you don't follow anything in it). But I think you need to realise that a LOT of people are only 'Sikh' (and many other religions) in name and are not religious at all. There's no point in telling people to 'clean up their act' and then they'll be 'welcomed with open arms'... 1- You don't speak for all other followers of Sikhism, 2- You shouldn't make assumptions like that.

I'll say it again: MANY people meerly call themselves Sikh (Muslim/Christian/Hindu...etc) but do not practice... Just let them carry on; it's not your place to judge how their relationship with religion should be.

[SaintSoldier]

(Original post by RolyBholi)
The existence of god? No? Didn't think so. That's a completely ridiculous thing to say about any religion.

If you look at the context of our conversation, I was refering specifically to practices. A lot of religions do things that don't make sense (like fasting), whereas we don't. That is where we stand out from others. The anonymous poster asked a good question on Sikh marriages, so I explained the logic behind it.

You shouldn't speak so presumptuously, saying "Didn't think so" implies that you forsaw that I wouldn't have an answer, which is not the case.

However, if you are a typical TSR militant atheist (which the tone of your post leads me to believe), then there's no point. We'll just waste time going around in circles.

I used to be 'Sikh'.

Although I don't know anything about you, I would urge you to consider why you left. If it is because you don't believe in God, then I can't change that. But almost 100% of the time people leave Sikhism because of Punjabi culture, which is often contradictory to what Sikhism actually teaches. So I urge you to distill religion from culture, and find out what it means to be a Sikh, not a Punjabi.

There's no point in telling people to 'clean up their act' and then they'll be 'welcomed with open arms'...

I'm just looking out for the Panth, doing my job as a Sikh.

1- You don't speak for all other followers of Sikhism

Neither do you. Who says the Sikhs don't want to practice their religion? Rather, they are just ignorant as to what their religion teaches.

2- You shouldn't make assumptions like that.

Well the Singh clearly learnt something from what I said.

I'll say it again: MANY people meerly call themselves Sikh (Muslim/Christian/Hindu...etc) but do not practice... Just let them carry on; it's not your place to judge how their relationship with religion should be.

It's not my position to chase every Sikh up to make sure s/he is carrying out the Rehat appropriately, but I can do parchaar to try and make the more mild Sikhs become better Sikhs.

And also I don't mind if people do these things and label themselves as "asian" or whatever. But when people bring Sikhi into it then it does bother me. You can't misrepresent our religion. In the same way that you can't get a can of beer and call it "Sikh beer," because alcohol is prohibited for us, you can't associate flirting and dating with Sikhi. It just doesn't work like that.

All the Sikhs are my brothers and sisters, so it's my duty to help them. If you saw your younger sibling reaching for a hot pan, would you stop them? That's how I feel about the Sikh Quom.

[okapobcfc08]

(Original post by RolyBholi)

I'll say it again: MANY people meerly call themselves Sikh (Muslim/Christian/Hindu...etc) but do not practice... Just let them carry on; it's not your place to judge how their relationship with religion should be.

Thats a pretty absurd point. If the OP clearly says he is a Sikh, then a fellow poster (saintsoldier), who doesnt know the OP personally, and as SaintSoldier is a believer in Sikh Ethics, he will not assume any judgement, other than this person (OP) believes in Sikhism and in its principles. Hence SaintSoldier is then duty bound to explain Sikh practices.

If your criticizing SaintSoldier for incorrectly interfering then you should be condeming the OP's use of the term "Sikh" to describe himself, not an innocent helper (SaintSoldier) who is just following the letter of Sikhism, which is to enstill knowledge about the religion in fellow Sikhs.

Equally, if it isn't Saintsoldier's place to interfere, neither is it yours.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by okapobcfc08)
xx

I'm the OP, but unfortunately the thread has strayed from my problem

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm the OP, but unfortunately the thread has strayed from my problem

That was partly my fault...soz about that
But hey go for it, if you like him, tell him, and take a chance. You never know until you try and good luck x