I used to only date guys that had earning potential. I met this guy who I connected with like no one I had ever met before, but I didn't feel comfortable being in a relationship with him because he wasn't ambitious and didn't mind living in a flat his whole life. But he was so in love with me that he went back to college in the hope of getting into uni. But I was still too much of a b***h to be interested. Then he finally got the message and left me alone. My bf after was a medical student at Oxford, but he screwed me up so much. Thats when I learnt my lesson, and I realised what I had lost in the guy I knew before. Now I never choose a guy based on his credentials, just on how he makes me feel. I can only hope I find the connection I had with that guy in someone else.
The guy I am seeing at the moment is earning pretty much minimum wage (compared to an ex who was earning £70k+ )
In the short term, I don't mind. But I wouldn't want to be with someone who settles for the bare minimum in life. I'm an ambitious person and that's a trait that I like in a partner.
If she's happy to procreate with him though, It's obviously not something that bothers her that much.
I don't think I'd date someone who was on minimum wage. But if we were dating, then circumstances forced him onto minimum wage, that wouldn't matter.
Edit: And it's not because of the money itself - it's because I'd want someone who's been to university, who can keep up with me intellectually. I'd want to be with someone who aspired to have a better job than simply minimum wage.
I'm not going to say no, but I'm going to say I doubt it- NOT because money is an all-important issue, but because it's a simple fact that on a social level, I'm unlikely to ever interact enough with people earning minimum wage to actually makes friends and eventually fall in love with someone who does. I don't believe in love at first sight either, before anyone questions whether I might one day walk into a McDonald's and ask the girl serving me to go out with me.
For me, no. For my ex-girlfriend, apparently not. When she started earning £24 for 3 hours of work a week at 15, it suddenly became a weapon she could use against me as 'motivation' to start paying for days out while she spent all her cash on clothes (I used to spend a 15 quid a week just to see her. I made a net loss of about £400 in the whole time, while she just kept gainin'). Needless to say, I put up with it for too long after she got that job.
It's actually made me quite bitter towards dating women that earn more than me now.
No. I don't think our lifestyles would be compatible. He wouldn't be able to pay half the rent, half of holidays etc. Either I would have to go significantly down in living standards or I'd have to provide for him. I live in London and am planning to live either here or Paris later - you cannot afford anything adequate in a big city on that income. Furthermore, I assume he doesn't have an education and I have more in common with someone of the same educational level.
You don't fall in love with someone just by looking at them, you meet them, choose to date them and take it from there. Everybody makes those conscious choices to begin with. Choosing someone of the same social status is normal and has nothing to do with 'sacrificing love'. You make the choices which are most likely to work for you. 6 billion people on the planet - everybody's looking to save time and emotional investment by not dating people you are unlikely to fit with just to prove you're nice or politically correct. Ambition is an attractive trait and I want a man who's going somewhere in life. Furthermore, I don't see warehouse working as potentially interesting dinner conversations.
Your friend's situation is completely different though. His gf has obviously chosen him because she loves him and they have a child together. It takes a lot more for someone to LEAVE than to choose not to date someone to begin with.
Last edited by Aconcernedparent; 05-05-2012 at 13:41.
I'd be surprised if the person had a full-time job in the first place.
Employment is a rare commodity at the moment!
I would also imagine that the vast majority of posters on this forum are working Part-Time for minimum wage. Even after they have left Uni, the prospect of well paid employment isn't exactly a guarantee.
I personally am not bothered about income in the slightest, and although I'm incredibly motivated, I would prefer a job that leaves me a healthy work/life balance than a job where I earn twice as much but is stressful and dominates my existence.
I am in a long-term relationship and we don't earn much by TSR expectations as we're both students and part-time workers, but we earn enough to not have to worry about how much we spend.
To me, it would never be about income and so wouldn't be bothered about minimum wage (everyone's been there), but more about what it says about the person. I've known people who have zero ambitions-- live with their parents rent free, play PS3 all day, and have not managed to find ANY job in years. That I'm afraid I couldn't deal with in a relationship. But, if the person is on my level emotionally and intellectually then money earned means very little.