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Success is making me depressed

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    Hi,
    I've been offered a place at Oxbridge and a PhD and had to recently make a tough decision on which one to choose. In the mean time, all I have done is feel really depressed. I already suffer from anxiety and depression. My so called friends have been sending me nasty texts and emails, making nasty comments saying I don't deserve these things (even though I've worked hard), or that I'm boasting or arguing, when I'm not even fighting back. I should feel really happy and fortunate to be in this position, but I just feel really low all of the time. I'm sure jealousy has a part to play, but I've had people block me on facebook, send anonymous notes and it always catches me when I'm least expecting it, putting a real downer on my happiness and self esteem. I am trying so hard to rise above it but it is so hard. I've been to see my head of year and all he said was to move out, as my housemates have started on me, refusing to speak to me because of it. I just don't know what to do or think, I just want to curl up in a ball and cry and I'm finding it hard to leave the house or talk anymore :'(
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    :hugs: Sounds like you're in an awful situation right now. I agree with your head of year that, if at all possible, you should move out, since it sounds like your housemates are contributing to the problem. A couple of years ago when I was going through a major depressive episode and my housemates were making it significantly worse I ended up moving in with my sister (well, sleeping on her sofa for quite a while ), and since there wasn't too long left on my contract and I didn't have to pay rent at my sister's I decided with my family just to keep paying the rent at the old place for the last while. I don't know if something like that would be possible for you, but environment can make a lot of difference with depression, and it's important to put your health first.

    Another thing is that I'd distance yourself from all these alleged friends, who frankly sound like awful people. You'd most likely be a hell of a lot better off without them, and although it can be daunting to cut yourself off from people (again, something I had to do with the same people I used to live with), you'd not be doing yourself any favours by staying loyal to such people. Something which I'd ask you is if you think you suffer from low self-esteem in general (apart from the more recent problems)? I bet you could do a hell of a lot better than these friends who you've amassed, so is it possible that you have a low image of yourself which contributes towards your picking people to hang around with who just end up treating you badly? If you think this could be the case, I'd look into getting some help for it - your GP would be a good place to start, and might refer you onto counselling or therapy, or you could look into getting a self-help book.

    If you haven't already, I'd definitely urge you to get treatment for your anxiety and depression, sounds like you've got a great future and the sooner you start sorting out your health issues the sooner you can get down to actually enjoying your studies (by the way, if you think it's reached that stage, it might be possible for you to accept one of the offers, but defer entry for a year, so as to have more time to work on getting your health back to normal - just email the unis and ask if you think it could help).

    For more help and support, I recommend the depression society. :yep:
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by superwolf)
    :hugs: Sounds like you're in an awful situation right now. I agree with your head of year that, if at all possible, you should move out, since it sounds like your housemates are contributing to the problem. A couple of years ago when I was going through a major depressive episode and my housemates were making it significantly worse I ended up moving in with my sister (well, sleeping on her sofa for quite a while ), and since there wasn't too long left on my contract and I didn't have to pay rent at my sister's I decided with my family just to keep paying the rent at the old place for the last while. I don't know if something like that would be possible for you, but environment can make a lot of difference with depression, and it's important to put your health first.

    Another thing is that I'd distance yourself from all these alleged friends, who frankly sound like awful people. You'd most likely be a hell of a lot better off without them, and although it can be daunting to cut yourself off from people (again, something I had to do with the same people I used to live with), you'd not be doing yourself any favours by staying loyal to such people. Something which I'd ask you is if you think you suffer from low self-esteem in general (apart from the more recent problems)? I bet you could do a hell of a lot better than these friends who you've amassed, so is it possible that you have a low image of yourself which contributes towards your picking people to hang around with who just end up treating you badly? If you think this could be the case, I'd look into getting some help for it - your GP would be a good place to start, and might refer you onto counselling or therapy, or you could look into getting a self-help book.

    If you haven't already, I'd definitely urge you to get treatment for your anxiety and depression, sounds like you've got a great future and the sooner you start sorting out your health issues the sooner you can get down to actually enjoying your studies (by the way, if you think it's reached that stage, it might be possible for you to accept one of the offers, but defer entry for a year, so as to have more time to work on getting your health back to normal - just email the unis and ask if you think it could help).

    For more help and support, I recommend the depression society. :yep:
    Thank you for such a helpful reply, it really has made my day to see that I am not alone feeling like this. I have been on anti-depressants for about 6 months and have recieved councilling and an intro into CBT, and on the waiting list for CBT sessions. I do have self esteem issues I think, as I seem to care a lot about what people think of me and I hate thinking that I may have upset someone. I have chosen the PhD and as I have the summer (4 months) to get my health issues sorted, I think I should be ok without defering the year

    I will check out the society, thank you so much!
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    They are boring, bitter losers. Replace them with an interesting hobby and you might be happier.
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    90% of the population wouldn't behave like the losers you are with.
    You are better off without them.

    What subject will you be studying?

    Personally I don't think joining the depression soc. is the answer, moving out is.

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Updated: May 7, 2012
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