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Is not being posh a big issue at posh unis?

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    I am predicted good grades and am currently looking at going to Uni and am considering trying to get into Oxford and failing that into Warwick, Bristol or maybe UCL or Kings to do either English or History.

    I am from a council house type family and the school isn't in a posh area and a lot of kids at our school can't stand "posh" people and i have that attitude a bit but try not to judge about it. Do worry though that being at one of those really top unis which my teachers say i may be able to get into with a lot of work and effort - that i will really hate it there. That i will be surrounded by posh kids who have everything and who will look down on me. Been to an open day at Warwick and an open day at Bristol and it was really lovely, especially Bristol but there were a lot of really really rich girls there that was very obvious.

    How can i fit in, what should i do about it, what approach should i take?

    thanks
    Cara
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    (Original post by UsualStudent)
    I am predicted good grades and am currently looking at going to Uni and am considering trying to get into Oxford and failing that into Warwick, Bristol or maybe UCL or Kings to do either English or History.

    I am from a council house type family and the school isn't in a posh area and a lot of kids at our school can't stand "posh" people and i have that attitude a bit but try not to judge about it. Do worry though that being at one of those really top unis which my teachers say i may be able to get into with a lot of work and effort - that i will really hate it there. That i will be surrounded by posh kids who have everything and who will look down on me. Been to an open day at Warwick and an open day at Bristol and it was really lovely, especially Bristol but there were a lot of really really rich girls there that was very obvious.

    How can i fit in, what should i do about it, what approach should i take?

    thanks
    Cara
    Posh people were usually born into money, they know nothing else. You should view them as equals, as they should see you as an equal. Just be yourself, you'll find that you will all have things in common. You''l find that not everyone going will be from rich backgrounds, and many will be in the same situation as you.
    And if anyone is snobish to you, just ignore them as they're not worth your time.
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    In my experience people really don't care where you came from. I'm surrounded by posh people and I'm from a council estate (though I have a ridiculously posh accent...It's a slight mystery). Some of them are really annoying, many of them are not, just as was the case at school and everywhere else I've ever been. I've actually never come across this snobbery everyone thinks exists whilst I've been at Cambridge. The poshest people I know just don't care about where people are from. I think they're a bit oblivious in many cases.

    In fact, the only 'snobbery' I've seen at university has, sadly, been from chippy people from rougher backgrounds. I think some people expect snobbery so pre-emptively have a horrible attitude to posh people, and an attitude that because they're privileged they must be thick, whereas they got in on pure merit and so are better than posh people. If you don't foster any prejudices in yourself, you'll be fine (well, at Cambridge at least, I can't speak for Oxford). There's a huge variety of people even at the poshest universities and generally people take people as they come. If they're annoying, people don't like them, if they're open-minded and friendly, people like them. Simple enough.

    Don't be put off by stereotypes! (and equally don't judge posh people harshly... it's not their fault they can't talk properly )
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    Funnily enough, if you live as though they are snobby, you'll find you won't get along. They are just normal people. Not everyone waltzes around spouting out how much is sitting in their kitty.
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    Nah I think if anything they find it interesting, I've been to a few unis for open days and interviews and when posher people ask you about **** like what school you went to or where you're from they get proper excited about it, it won't be a problem, if anything you'll probably be more popular so long as you don't go around like a class warrior being a dick to people
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    Thanks. Maybe what worries me is not having much money compared to them for clothes and going out and stuff, but also just stuff to talk about. On the Open Day we did get to talk to some second years and it sounded fun and really nice but they also were on about really cool holidays and they had some pretty nice things like nice watches and some expensive things which i know i won't have. I suppose its about what you talk about and what you do together. I mean the study is obviously the main thing but you want to mix socially as well. Maybe i would change as well if i was at one of those unis - that makes me wonder if i will change so much my friends at home won't like me!
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    (Original post by UsualStudent)
    Thanks. Maybe what worries me is not having much money compared to them for clothes and going out and stuff, but also just stuff to talk about. On the Open Day we did get to talk to some second years and it sounded fun and really nice but they also were on about really cool holidays and they had some pretty nice things like nice watches and some expensive things which i know i won't have. I suppose its about what you talk about and what you do together. I mean the study is obviously the main thing but you want to mix socially as well. Maybe i would change as well if i was at one of those unis - that makes me wonder if i will change so much my friends at home won't like me!
    I know from personal experience that some of the people from "posh" backgrounds will be worrying about fitting in when they arrive and not sounding too stuck-up or silly, so it works the other way too. A lot of things will be different for you once you get into the course and college that you want - you will soon get on top of it and feel at home - concerns like the social background of your friends will slip back in your mind. Concentrate on enjoying the experience and getting as much out of it for you as you can.
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    (Original post by UsualStudent)
    Thanks. Maybe what worries me is not having much money compared to them for clothes and going out and stuff, but also just stuff to talk about. On the Open Day we did get to talk to some second years and it sounded fun and really nice but they also were on about really cool holidays and they had some pretty nice things like nice watches and some expensive things which i know i won't have. I suppose its about what you talk about and what you do together. I mean the study is obviously the main thing but you want to mix socially as well. Maybe i would change as well if i was at one of those unis - that makes me wonder if i will change so much my friends at home won't like me!
    Oh people are too wrapped up in their own possessions to care about anyone else's. I know people who dress all Jack Will's-y or all in designer gear and have stupidly posh watches, but they don't judge other people for not having those things. Most of my clothes are from charity shops (...love my life as a dickhead...) and people couldn't care less. If anything, people generally take the piss out of the Jack Will's-ies and the sloaney girls... though in a jocular way. Also I've found that the posh people I've known have been very generous, so if they want to go somewhere and buy expensive drinks, they'll often buy them for everyone! As much as stories about cool holidays are interesting, so are tales from a council estate. Everyone finds backgrounds different from their own interesting. I know a lot of posh people who feel they're boring because they don't come from a high rise in London. That's why all the hipsters move there... they're jealous of the rough vibes :cool: Generally most stuff people talk about is accessible to everyone. No one likes the people who spend all their time talking about what they did on the Eton Choral Scholarship =p

    If you change and your friends don't like it, they're not great friends. That's real snobbery, if they'd stop being your friend because you started mixing with posher people or being interested in different things. Chances are they won't, though. I don't think many people are that fickle, as much as it can seem that way sometimes.
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    (Original post by zara55)
    I know from personal experience that some of the people from "posh" backgrounds will be worrying about fitting in when they arrive and not sounding too stuck-up or silly, so it works the other way too. A lot of things will be different for you once you get into the course and college that you want - you will soon get on top of it and feel at home - concerns like the social background of your friends will slip back in your mind. Concentrate on enjoying the experience and getting as much out of it for you as you can.
    Haven't seen you for a while (you may not remember, but you were one of the first people I met on TSR). Welcome back

    OP, don't worry, the vast majority won't care, and if any do you needn't bother with them. One thing I would say though is DO NOT go in with any 'you're a posh rich kid' mentality. These are just teenagers - they can't help their background, and they want to fit in as much as you do. In my experience at one of the 'poshest' unis around there is more inverse snobbery than actual snobbery, and if they sense it they will shut you out, not because they don't like you but because they think you don't like them.

    It's natural to be nervous, but completely honestly social background doesn't matter at university. Good luck with your applications, and I hope you have a good time when you get there!
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    Really nice comments people thanks hugs. xx

    Funny about the Jack Wills thing as some kids in my school save and steal to wear bits of that but can't stand their logo written over everything! I saw some Jack W stuff on peeps at Bristol and Warwick but also some more expensive stuff, really surprised actually how fashionable a lot of students are although not all.

    I did feel more than a bit jelly towards some girls i saw when i was at Bristol, i mean literally totally loaded and looking a million, which makes me think my whole time will be just bright green all the time if i was there but maybe i would get used to it after a while!

    I am also sort of nervous as it feels like those private school kids must be way smarter than me but then again maybe that's just not true and i just need to remember its not true.
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    They're actually not as bad as you think.

    There are some obscene amounts of money being thrown around, but you're pretty much priced out of that kind of behaviour from the start so you don't experience it very often.

    EDIT: And those with truckloads who don't spend all their time flashing it couldn't care less what you have.
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    When it became quite (publicly) obvious that someone I know has some very wealthy parents . . . people took the (good-natured) piss out of them for that. Conversely, I've never come across people taking the mick if someone comes from a family that isn't well-off.

    Even those (rare) people whose parents are subsidising them at uni above and beyond the level that student finance gives people will find that their friends don't have as much money, so it's not like they're all going off to mega-expensive bars, because if they tried that then they'd be going by themselves. Often, the only real way that you can identify such people is the fact that they can afford to drive a car despite not having a part-time job.

    Being at the same uni is, in many ways, a great leveller. No one has large amounts of money, you don't know anyone, and they don't know anything about your background. It's a fresh start, and if you want (for instance) to go off and do something that is stereotypically considered to be "posh", then you can do it, because uni societies invariably manage to make these things affordable on a student budget - even flying lessons - and you'll find a cross-section of your own uni's population there.
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    I don't see how the size of your house or how much money your parents earn comes into the question when deciding what University you're going to go to (taking aside that those from a very well-off family won't have to pay a loan back if their parents decide to front the money for their education).
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    If going to Oxford don't go to Oriel. But most of them aren't so stay open minded and you'll be fine.

    <3 x
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    Nobody cares. In fact that only people that will get subject to any kind of ostracizing/mild piss taking because of their background are posh people, because there is way way more reverse snobbery than actual snobbery.

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