The Student Room Group

have I been friend-zoned? (i'm a girl and so confused)

Hey guys, this is going to be a long post so I’ve tried to cut it down as much as possible.

I started liking this guy a few months ago...and he asked me to stay after school with him.. so i said yes, and i asked you TSRians to help me with flirting with him.. the story has progressed..and i still don’t know where i stand. can anyone tell me if ive been friendzoned?

A few months on I have his number..he asked me for it haha, well he asked my friend who didn't have it..and his friend asked my bestfriend who got jealous an gave his friend my old number...who then gave it to the boy I like! Then at school he showed me my old number and said 'is this your number?' and I was like no...and he was like...'is this your old number?' I was like haha..yeah and sat there like a fool and didn't actually get the hint lol! Anyways after a few days he asked me on Facebook randomly when I was talking to him...

That was a few months back... And at first we whatsapped on a regular basis and then it became more rare as my phone got taken away, but when I had my phone we whatsapped, anyway for the past month or so we've been staying after school to do work but there has regularly been other friends around so no alone time haha,


Anyways last week or something, he asked me to help him with a question, then when I started talking imitated me, and I was like... Hmph.. Then I carried on and he imitated me again, do I pretended to be angry and said 'fine I'm leaving and I'm taking my things with me' (he was using my things) and do as I was packing up he took my pencil case and put it down his top, and when I asked for it back he pretended he didn't know where it was..lol, so anyways I took his things and his them around the field and he did the same with my stuff and we generally joked around, in the end we retuned our stuff and like always waited for
Me to get the bus home.

Then all of a sudden one day I didn't talk to him when we stayed after school, not cause I was mad or anything, but cause I was doing my work... When he asked me questions I replied but I didn't ask him any questions, so anyway, he borrowed my phone an when it was time to leave, instead of waiting for me he just returned my phone and left without saying anything! Not even a bye. Normally he takes me to my bus stop and waits for me to get my bus before he starts walking home.. That day he just left without saying anything. Even when he's with his friend and I said 'it's okay you don't have to wait' he still waited, so I was really shocked that he left. So I text him sayin whats wrong, and he replied saying 'nothing, just tired' so I was like okay...


Basically I only have like a week left of college, how can I make something happen?! And does it seem as though he may be interested?

I must add that one of his bestfriends does think I like this guy haha, but I denied it, naturally :P

There's so much more I could add, but don't want to bore you guys with the details.Basically he invited me to his birthday party and I was the only girl he took a picture with, but then again it could be just cause we're friends...

Also once when he was moderately tipsy, after he'd been quite offhandish with me, he say down near me and told me that I was his best friend... And that he's never said that to anyone before...

Does that mean I'm in the dreaded friendzone?!

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1
I definitely think this guy likes you.. but from the look of things u mite be gettin into the friendzone real quick.... u shuld definitely make a move ..fast :headfire: or else.... all is doomed :bawling: !!!

Why not make the first move and go out with him for a movie or something... see if he makes a move or wants to spend more time with you after the movie ... it means there are feelings for u in his heart :u: !!!

Hope this helps!!! BTW wich country are u from??? :smile:
Reply 2
Original post by Nikstar95
I definitely think this guy likes you.. but from the look of things u mite be gettin into the friendzone real quick.... u shuld definitely make a move ..fast :headfire: or else.... all is doomed :bawling: !!!

Why not make the first move and go out with him for a movie or something... see if he makes a move or wants to spend more time with you after the movie ... it means there are feelings for u in his heart :u: !!!

Hope this helps!!! BTW wich country are u from??? :smile:


the thing is we're about to start our exams.. and i know that he's already really stressed. i only have half a week of sixth-form left, literally only three days!
so i dont think movies are a good option,

BUT
tomorrow we're staying after school to revise together..maybe i could say something then? and on Wednesday we're all (my whole group of friends) are going out together..and then coming back to school for a concert type thing. I know hes going to be quite drunk...so maybe i could say something then?
i really dont know what to do and we've only got a few more days of school left, so this is really confusing for me :/

Erm I'm from Asia but live in England haha why?
Reply 3
bump

(i'd love to get a few more opinions)
Wat. You haven't even tried asking him out. Do that. Or you can sit around and keep hoping something will happen. The chances of that are always quite low though. Your choice.
Reply 5
Original post by Aisha~~
Wat. You haven't even tried asking him out. Do that. Or you can sit around and keep hoping something will happen. The chances of that are always quite low though. Your choice.


haha yeah, but we are kind of in the middle of our finals.. so im not really sure he has the time to go out tbh :s-smilie:

this is why im really confused as to what to do :/
Reply 6
Then all of a sudden one day I didn't talk to him when we stayed after school, not cause I was mad or anything, but cause I was doing my work... When he asked me questions I replied but I didn't ask him any questions, so anyway, he borrowed my phone an when it was time to leave, instead of waiting for me he just returned my phone and left without saying anything! Not even a bye. Normally he takes me to my bus stop and waits for me to get my bus before he starts walking home.. That day he just left without saying anything. Even when he's with his friend and I said 'it's okay you don't have to wait' he still waited, so I was really shocked that he left. So I text him sayin whats wrong, and he replied saying 'nothing, just tired' so I was like okay...


I should probably add that normally I sit next to him, but on this specific day I sat quite far away from him, partly cause he looked busy, and partly cause I was kinda nervous.
Stop over thinking things. Just go do it, like later today or something. It's not healthy to be worrying so much like this...
I've never know a guy to friendzone a girl before, unless it was stated from the off that they were only to be friends and nothing more.

Though maybe that's just within my circle of friends :tongue:
Reply 9
Original post by Aisha~~
Stop over thinking things. Just go do it, like later today or something. It's not healthy to be worrying so much like this...


wouldn't it be better if i said something at school?
honestly I have no idea what to say, I've never asked a guy out before..
Reply 10
Original post by Drunk Punx
I've never know a guy to friendzone a girl before, unless it was stated from the off that they were only to be friends and nothing more.

Though maybe that's just within my circle of friends :tongue:


haha nothing was stated, but then again i go to a mixed school.. so he can't exactly go around and tell every girl that they are only friends, that would be absurd haha. from reading the OP would you say i'd been friendzoned? i mean he called me his bestFRIEND.. :/
Original post by Anonymous
wouldn't it be better if i said something at school?
honestly I have no idea what to say, I've never asked a guy out before..


Now's your chance to learn :u: Seriously let me put this into perspective: he's probably as unsure about the situation as you are. High school dating always works like this. Two inexperienced people could be head over heels for each other, but it can still takes months for them to get together. Simply because they don't know how to develop the relationship, whether the other's interested, etc. If you want the best chance of success; make it beyond reasonable doubt that there's more than friendship from your side. That means asking him out, basically. He might just need that nudge in the right direction before things click, and he knows what to do from there. If he's not interested, or just wants to be friends, well, you can't change that and at least then you can move on to greener pastures.

Yes, asking in person is better, where possible. Be honest with him and you'll get an honest reply. If you like him, say "I like you". Then pop the date question. Sorted.
Original post by Anonymous
haha nothing was stated, but then again i go to a mixed school.. so he can't exactly go around and tell every girl that they are only friends, that would be absurd haha. from reading the OP would you say i'd been friendzoned? i mean he called me his bestFRIEND.. :/


If you denied "liking" him to his best friend then chances are his best friend told him that, so logically he thinks you're probably not interested in you in any way other than a friend at the moment.

If you want to change that then you need to talk to him about it.
Reply 13
Original post by Aisha~~
Now's your chance to learn :u: Seriously let me put this into perspective: he's probably as unsure about the situation as you are. High school dating always works like this. Two inexperienced people could be head over heels for each other, but it can still takes months for them to get together. Simply because they don't know how to develop the relationship, whether the other's interested, etc. If you want the best chance of success; make it beyond reasonable doubt that there's more than friendship from your side. That means asking him out, basically. He might just need that nudge in the right direction before things click, and he knows what to do from there. If he's not interested, or just wants to be friends, well, you can't change that and at least then you can move on to greener pastures.

Yes, asking in person is better, where possible. Be honest with him and you'll get an honest reply. If you like him, say "I like you". Then pop the date question. Sorted.


he's had girlfriends before though..and I've never been in an actual relationship :/
we're both 18 if that changes things in anyway lol.

'how about i like you...you're funny' that way he still gets to ask me out, and if he doesn't i can pass it off as 'i like you as a friend?'
Reply 14
Original post by Drunk Punx
If you denied "liking" him to his best friend then chances are his best friend told him that, so logically he thinks you're probably not interested in you in any way other than a friend at the moment.

If you want to change that then you need to talk to him about it.


Haha I was obviously lying though, and his friend just smiled at me in a *i know youre lying* way.
And this same friend once a few monbths back pushed his friend full on onto me, but at the time i didnt think anything cause i didnt fancy the guy, i just thought it was a bit weird and laughed :s-smilie:
Original post by Anonymous
Haha I was obviously lying though, and his friend just smiled at me in a *i know youre lying* way.
And this same friend once a few monbths back pushed his friend full on onto me, but at the time i didnt think anything cause i didnt fancy the guy, i just thought it was a bit weird and laughed :s-smilie:


Either way, you still talk to him about it. You can't always wait around for someone else to make the first move, sometimes you need to initiate it yourself :yy:
Original post by Anonymous
he's had girlfriends before though..and I've never been in an actual relationship :/
we're both 18 if that changes things in anyway lol.

'how about i like you...you're funny' that way he still gets to ask me out, and if he doesn't i can pass it off as 'i like you as a friend?'


You can't have your cake and eat it too. You have to make your intentions perfectly clear. If you beat around the bush/behave purposely ambigious about it the end result could be dissapointing and it'll be your fault.

But if I'm honest I think he probably likes you but just has something going on or he's biding his time for some reason. But see what I just said? I said "I think he likes you" and when you ask him out you'll know for sure whether he likes you. This will stop you sitting there thinking,
"he loves me"
"he loves me not"
"he loves me"
"he loves me not"
(edited 11 years ago)
And what will happen if you don't ask him out before the exams? :s-smilie:
Reply 18
Original post by Drunk Punx
Either way, you still talk to him about it. You can't always wait around for someone else to make the first move, sometimes you need to initiate it yourself :yy:


yeah true i get what youre saying, ill try and say somethng tomorrow and update on what happens :smile:
Reply 19
Original post by Ice Constricter
You can't have your cake and eat it too. You have to make your intentions perfectly clear. If you beat around the bush/behave purposely ambigious about it the end result could be dissapointing at it'll be your fault.

But if I'm honest I think he probably likes you but just has something going on or he's biding his time for some reason. But see what I just said? I said "I think he likes you" and when you ask him out you'll know for sure whether he likes you.


hes really stressed about exams, so i doubt hes got time to be thinking about girls.. :/
but yeah i guess ill have to be very straightforward.



Original post by Ice Constricter
And what will happen if you don't ask him out before the exams? :s-smilie:

well its the last year of sixthform (ie year 13) so if i don't do anything in the next three days..i wont see him again till either during my exams, or results day..then we are all off to uni

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