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Help, I dont know what to do with myself :(

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    hi,

    I've been thinking recently about taking an intermission from uni and applying for a job that i really really want to do. ive been thinking of the options

    a) forget it and carry on at uni
    b) apply and work there for the summer, when september comes youll just have to quit (this is assuming i'll get the job in the first place lol).
    c) apply and see how it goes, if i really love it then take a year out.
    b) apply and take a year out

    if they dont take me on:
    a) carry on at uni
    b) carry on at uni and find some other work to do during the summer
    c) take a year out and find work, possibly in the vountary sector as there's little else going on atm for people like me with no prior experience.

    then of course there's always dropping out.

    I've been feeling really low lately and the way things are going i'm not going to get a good degree (my marks are decreasingly low and I got a Third for one of my modules), i feel as though if i take a year out and come back fresh i might stand more of a chance of getting at least a 2:1, then again i do have four months ahead to recover and come back as new but this didnt work last year as it was good for the first three weeks and it all went downhill from there. And then there's the stupid dissertation to consider, I dont know how on earth I'm going to get through that, whether next year or the year after that.

    sorry for the rant. i just dont know what to do with my life and my father hasnt taken kindly to this because ive already signed a tenancy agreement. Getting this job would mean the world to me and i just feel in my gut that i should go for it but maybe i should get the degree out of the way first.

    any thoughts/advice would be appreciated.

    x
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    cmon somebody must be awake at this time lol.

    ...why the neg?
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    You should definitely at least apply for the job. If you really really want it, go for it. If you don't you will most likely regret it.

    If they don't take you on, then well what you do then is up to you.
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    (Original post by DudeRugs)
    You should definitely at least apply for the job. If you really really want it, go for it. If you don't you will most likely regret it.

    If they don't take you on, then well what you do then is up to you.
    I know but i could also apply after i graduate then id have nothing ahead of me...if i applied now would i have to lie and say i wasnt at uni?
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    What job is it?
    If the job has vacancies all the time then you could wait, but if they come around rarely then go for it. I wouldn't lie, just say its a dream job (if it is) and you had to make the most of the opportunity.

    If you don't get it then you can apply after you graduate like you said.

    Worst case scenario is you apply and don't get it.
    Best case is you get the job and love it.
    Otherwise you get it and decide to carry on with uni.
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    I'd advise you to take a year out. From your OP you sort of sound like you already have pretty much decided that anyway. Even if you don't get the job, it might be useful to have a year to consider things, such as whether to continue at uni and what you'd do afterwards anyway. I personally think gut feelings are actually very reliable, you sound like you know what you want and you just need someone to confirm your thinking for you. As for finding work, there is always jobs going on a simple level, even just at McDonalds. I'd advise actually working over volunteering because you perhaps need to be reminded of what it's like to be working and plus I think when you have a job it's harder to be depressed and despondent because of your responsibilities. At uni you have a lot of spare time generally and I think this is a main cause for people becoming depressed because they have time to. Obvs that is simplifying the issue, but if you keep yourself busy it's easier to stay happy and feel fulfilled at the end of each day.

    Your title says you don't know what to do, but I think you do, you're just nervous about it. It's a risk to take a year out, and check to see if it'll impact your fees, but discuss with the uni maybe that it's because of depression...? They're usually quite understanding; I had a friend drop out a few weeks ago and she's going to start anew next year and they're fine with that, and they made an exception for her with the fees as well. I think her case was a tad more severe though but I don't know exact details.

    Remember however, that it's also a risk to continue your degree if you think you'll fail, if you don't want to do it anymore or just really need a break.

    I hope whatever choice you make works out for you.
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    (Original post by willbee)
    I'd advise you to take a year out. From your OP you sort of sound like you already have pretty much decided that anyway. Even if you don't get the job, it might be useful to have a year to consider things, such as whether to continue at uni and what you'd do afterwards anyway. I personally think gut feelings are actually very reliable, you sound like you know what you want and you just need someone to confirm your thinking for you. As for finding work, there is always jobs going on a simple level, even just at McDonalds. I'd advise actually working over volunteering because you perhaps need to be reminded of what it's like to be working and plus I think when you have a job it's harder to be depressed and despondent because of your responsibilities. At uni you have a lot of spare time generally and I think this is a main cause for people becoming depressed because they have time to. Obvs that is simplifying the issue, but if you keep yourself busy it's easier to stay happy and feel fulfilled at the end of each day.

    Your title says you don't know what to do, but I think you do, you're just nervous about it. It's a risk to take a year out, and check to see if it'll impact your fees, but discuss with the uni maybe that it's because of depression...? They're usually quite understanding; I had a friend drop out a few weeks ago and she's going to start anew next year and they're fine with that, and they made an exception for her with the fees as well. I think her case was a tad more severe though but I don't know exact details.

    Remember however, that it's also a risk to continue your degree if you think you'll fail, if you don't want to do it anymore or just really need a break.

    I hope whatever choice you make works out for you.
    Actually this sounds right.
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    (Original post by willbee)
    I'd advise you to take a year out. From your OP you sort of sound like you already have pretty much decided that anyway. Even if you don't get the job, it might be useful to have a year to consider things, such as whether to continue at uni and what you'd do afterwards anyway. I personally think gut feelings are actually very reliable, you sound like you know what you want and you just need someone to confirm your thinking for you. As for finding work, there is always jobs going on a simple level, even just at McDonalds. I'd advise actually working over volunteering because you perhaps need to be reminded of what it's like to be working and plus I think when you have a job it's harder to be depressed and despondent because of your responsibilities. At uni you have a lot of spare time generally and I think this is a main cause for people becoming depressed because they have time to. Obvs that is simplifying the issue, but if you keep yourself busy it's easier to stay happy and feel fulfilled at the end of each day.

    Your title says you don't know what to do, but I think you do, you're just nervous about it. It's a risk to take a year out, and check to see if it'll impact your fees, but discuss with the uni maybe that it's because of depression...? They're usually quite understanding; I had a friend drop out a few weeks ago and she's going to start anew next year and they're fine with that, and they made an exception for her with the fees as well. I think her case was a tad more severe though but I don't know exact details.

    Remember however, that it's also a risk to continue your degree if you think you'll fail, if you don't want to do it anymore or just really need a break.

    I hope whatever choice you make works out for you.
    Thanks for the advice, i'd say it's hard to remind myself of what it is to be working when ive never had a day's work in my life, i think that might be part of the problem, that i've been in education my whole life and that's all i know. But the thought of postponing graduation for another year doesn't enamour me either, part of me just wants to get it over with. If i go back in september ill also be living with people i know who are on my course and perhaps would be able to help me, whereas in two years everyone i know will have graduated. If I didn't go back i'd also have to live with my father, which isn't ideal.
    I think i'll apply for the job anyway, see what happens. My parents wouldn't take kindly to my taking the year off, ive already made my dad pay 300 pounds for the deposit of a rented house.

    Part of me also thinks i'm not clever enough to come out of this with a good degree, what with the 9000 word dissertation and all the work, it just scares the hell out of me. ive already struggled to give in my assignments in time and not getting good grades. i cant write a proper essay anymore.
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    (Original post by MrHappy_J)
    Thanks for the advice, i'd say it's hard to remind myself of what it is to be working when ive never had a day's work in my life, i think that might be part of the problem, that i've been in education my whole life and that's all i know. But the thought of postponing graduation for another year doesn't enamour me either, part of me just wants to get it over with. If i go back in september ill also be living with people i know who are on my course and perhaps would be able to help me, whereas in two years everyone i know will have graduated. If I didn't go back i'd also have to live with my father, which isn't ideal.
    I think i'll apply for the job anyway, see what happens. My parents wouldn't take kindly to my taking the year off, ive already made my dad pay 300 pounds for the deposit of a rented house.

    Part of me also thinks i'm not clever enough to come out of this with a good degree, what with the 9000 word dissertation and all the work, it just scares the hell out of me. ive already struggled to give in my assignments in time and not getting good grades. i cant write a proper essay anymore.
    Well applying and seeing what happens is probably the best idea then. I think you really ought to get some work experience though... Do you think you could get a summer job? Do you know anyone who might be able to help you get a job (it's cheeky but it's often the best way to get your first job). If you don't have many jobs going at home perhaps you could live in your accommodation over the summer? When does your lease begin?

    I think that the dissertation is more about time and effort than intelligence. I'm not trying to slag off your efforts so far but maybe it's the extent of the work you have to do that is intimidating. All I can say to this is yes, it's intimidating, but your degree depends on it and so do your job prospects after uni.

    Back to the job prospects, I don't think you can have a realistic idea without having work experience. It just puts things in perspective, especially if your job isn't enjoyable- it can be motivating for your academic work. Plus, you'll be earning, and that is great for fulfilment and confidence if you can get and keep a job (and I'm sure you can). Having your own money is another source of confidence and happiness, just because it's so nice to know that this is YOUR money you're spending, you know?

    The one thing I would say with regards to your academia though is that you're on TSR, which means you're probably quite hard-working / intelligent anyway, and so you can probably succeed in your dissertation but maybe you're lacking a bit of confidence. I'm only in my first year so I can't really understand what it's like, but it also depends on your subject as well.

    Speak to your personal tutor about your situation academically and they have to help you cos its their job.

    So yeah, I'd say get a job over summer if you can, whatever that job may be. And speak to your personal tutor. And maybe talk to your mum about the situation? If your dad would get a bit angry... But if you work over the summer and end up getting this job, maybe you can pay him back when you start earning?

    I'm sorry, I'm sure you've thought of all this already. You know what you need to do, the hard part is actually doing it. Good luck.
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    (Original post by willbee)
    Well applying and seeing what happens is probably the best idea then. I think you really ought to get some work experience though... Do you think you could get a summer job? Do you know anyone who might be able to help you get a job (it's cheeky but it's often the best way to get your first job). If you don't have many jobs going at home perhaps you could live in your accommodation over the summer? When does your lease begin?

    I think that the dissertation is more about time and effort than intelligence. I'm not trying to slag off your efforts so far but maybe it's the extent of the work you have to do that is intimidating. All I can say to this is yes, it's intimidating, but your degree depends on it and so do your job prospects after uni.

    Back to the job prospects, I don't think you can have a realistic idea without having work experience. It just puts things in perspective, especially if your job isn't enjoyable- it can be motivating for your academic work. Plus, you'll be earning, and that is great for fulfilment and confidence if you can get and keep a job (and I'm sure you can). Having your own money is another source of confidence and happiness, just because it's so nice to know that this is YOUR money you're spending, you know?

    The one thing I would say with regards to your academia though is that you're on TSR, which means you're probably quite hard-working / intelligent anyway, and so you can probably succeed in your dissertation but maybe you're lacking a bit of confidence. I'm only in my first year so I can't really understand what it's like, but it also depends on your subject as well.

    Speak to your personal tutor about your situation academically and they have to help you cos its their job.

    So yeah, I'd say get a job over summer if you can, whatever that job may be. And speak to your personal tutor. And maybe talk to your mum about the situation? If your dad would get a bit angry... But if you work over the summer and end up getting this job, maybe you can pay him back when you start earning?

    I'm sorry, I'm sure you've thought of all this already. You know what you need to do, the hard part is actually doing it. Good luck.
    As much as I'd like to believe it, just because I'm on tsr doesn't make me hard working or intelligent. Technically anyone can make an account and it doesn't mean a thing. I think i'm the laziest person i know, i procrastinate way too much.
    I dont really know anyone who could hook me up so it will be difficult.
    My lease doesnt begin until september.
    I do think you have to be reasonably intelligent to come up with your own piece of research, which is what dissertations are all about, and thats something which i lack. i havent even found a supervisor yet.

    My parents tend to agree on everything even though they're divorced so I dont think my mother would understand either.
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    anyone else?
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    (Original post by MrHappy_J)
    anyone else?
    Think positive? No offence but everything we've suggested you've sort of shot down.
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    (Original post by willbee)
    Think positive? No offence but everything we've suggested you've sort of shot down.
    i havent shot down any advice, dont know what makes you say that.
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    1. There's no decision to make about the job until someone offers you the job.
    2. You can apply for the job regardless of anything else
    3. You need to decide if you are going to continue with your degree regardless of anything else.
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    You might want to check whether the uni will let you just take a year out. Some won't.
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    (Original post by Shelly_x)
    You might want to check whether the uni will let you just take a year out. Some won't.
    yeah my tutor said that an intermission is allowed.
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    bump.
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    Ok i spoke to my personal tutor today and she said that i could only realistically get an intermission on medical grounds. I was stupid enough to say that i wanted to take the year off because i didnt feel id get a good degree if i was to carry on. I hope it doesnt backfire, ill probably need a reference from her when i want to look for a job.
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    I'd advise you NOT to take a job. Sounds ridiculous, but you will feel like you don't want to go back to university, and if you do you'll have no motivation for your final year (which you will need as it's the most intense of the 3 years). Seriously, I've been in your position because I didn't like uni, but the time does go quickly, especially so when you're busy.

    Definitely get some work experience this summer though.
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    (Original post by MrHappy_J)
    cmon somebody must be awake at this time lol.
    Why bump after 14 minutes at 3am?

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